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Original poster

Can they take my baby away

844 replies

saraheve · 06/01/2017 00:23

HI i really need some advice, my 9 year old son was taken into care due to depression i was unable to keep on top of housework, I was binge drinking on weekends and I was in a unhappy relationship with childs farther, since my son has been taken into care I have attended therapy, hired a cleaner, attended a parent recovery group, relapse prevention group and took parenting courses. I am 8 months pregnant due to give birth very soon, I was given a prebirth assessment that said social services will go to court if they see that babys needs are not being met, unborn baby is on child protection and on the plan it says the same, yet social services say they want to take me to court? I was told their is no present concerns and I have addressed all previous concerns yet they want to still take it to court based on pre historic. I have so much evidence of significant changes yet they want to keep me in hospital once baby is born and have a discharge planning meeting where they may take baby away. Have they got any grounds since I have made significant changes and their is no present concerns. I am very devastated please can somone advise me? Thanks.

OP posts:
UnbornMortificado · 09/01/2017 11:18

empathy
ˈɛmpəθi/
noun
1. the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.





user1480946351 · 09/01/2017 11:21

Exactly my point. Hmm

None of you share the feelings of OP, and its quite offensive to suggest you do.

donajimena · 09/01/2017 11:36

I said I completely understood. I know how hard and horrible it is.
The poster after me I felt was particularly bitchy but I was in a school run hurry hence the short post. I'm sorry if I upset you it wasn't my intention Sad

UnbornMortificado · 09/01/2017 11:38

Course it's offensive Hmm

ODFOD.

UnbornMortificado · 09/01/2017 11:43

Dona not you Blush

Being able to empathise is not offensive.

user1480946351 · 09/01/2017 11:55

Pretending you have a clue about the OP's situation and telling yourself you are helping with little cartoons of flowers, while giving out to people who are actually making useful points is pretty offensive.
But could you stop derailing a serious thread with your inane pa's on me? Start a new thread for that if you are so bunched.

MrsBertBibby · 09/01/2017 11:59

This is Legal, not some fluffy boudoir of loveliness. OP needs to hear some cold hard truths, and hopefully listen to them.

Patting her on the head and telling her she's doing great is only getting in the way of that.

Bibsmcf23 · 09/01/2017 12:02

I feel for you girl, as a black single mother of 3 I really believe that my kids are everything and if they were taken away from me I don't know if I could go onSad

aginghippy · 09/01/2017 12:07

Shutthatdoor He had convinced OP he had a 'right' to be at the birth. People on this thread pointed out that he has no such right.

Yesterday evening that she plans to talk to her midwife about getting security for him not to be at the birth. It makes perfect sense to me, she got more information and changed her plans.

aginghippy · 09/01/2017 12:09

*Yesterday evening she said that

UnbornMortificado · 09/01/2017 13:15

No one is patting the op's head.

Posters including myself have shared experiences with children's services, abuse and MH. All relevant.

Sorry if I've missed your helpful contribution.

Shutthatdoor12 · 09/01/2017 13:16

Throughout the whole post she defends him. Ss would not take your child away because your house was untidy and you were drinking at weekends. I know- my sisters daughter swallowed drugs aged 17months and was hospitalised and ss didn't take the child out of her care. We had to take the matter into our own hands.There is more to the situation than the op is letting on. I find it extremely irritating that people are pussy footing around the situation. Of course ss will take the baby- if the 9yo has not been placed back in her care what makes you think a baby will be safe. The whole situation angers me why some women put their children at risk when they are so precious. Some of the pp haven't lived in the real world. The op doesn't need comforting she needs the truth

christinarossetti · 09/01/2017 13:20

OP has explained that her ASD makes it difficult for her to 'read between the lines' and deduce meaning.

user explained a key issue very simply and clearly, which is what the OP asked for.

thatdearoctopus · 09/01/2017 13:27

as a black single mother of 3 I really believe that my kids are everything

Hmm I'm not sure of the relevance of being black?

Shutthatdoor12 · 09/01/2017 13:28

Aginghippy

The op could of in many ways kept away from 'the ex' . ss are not stupid they will be keeping a close eye on what is going on. The op is likely having him round the house on a daily basis hoping that he's changed and everything is hunky dory. There is definitely definitely more to why this little boy has been taken away.

aginghippy · 09/01/2017 13:29

There is more to the situation than the op is letting on.

Of course there is. This is an anonymous internet forum, nobody gives details. And there is probably stuff that the op can't or won't admit even to herself.

Of course ss will take the baby

None of us can know that. We don't know if the baby will be safe or not. SS don't know this either. OP is trying to change so she is able to care for her baby. Some of us are trying to support her. We have differing opinions about what she needs. Your beliefs are not 'the truth' any more than mine or Mortificado's are.

Shutthatdoor12 · 09/01/2017 13:31

If they were planning on letting her keep the baby they wouldn't be planning to take her to court would they Hmm

MrsBertBibby · 09/01/2017 13:42

Sorry if I've missed your helpful contribution.

Try the first response on the thread.

UnbornMortificado · 09/01/2017 13:49

Going back to the thread the op has been told two different things.

  1. That they will take it to court IF the baby's needs aren't being met. Which is written on her plan.
  1. That they want to take her to court.

I doubt we ever get the full story on here there is always two sides.

Mrs I saw the first post thank you. I disagree

Shutthatdoor12 · 09/01/2017 14:00

If the op is true. Then why the big focus on the ex?? If the ex hasn't done anything? There has been some dv or abuse involving the ex. If the 9yo hasn't been allowed home. Then the baby will not be left in the ops care. The op needs to be more honest, as there are solicitors and social workers on here that might actually be able to give her a bit of advice.

UnbornMortificado · 09/01/2017 14:30

I agree with you about being more honest to get help and decent advice but I don't think others being nasty and dressing it up as the truth will encourage it.

Original poster
saraheve · 09/01/2017 14:37

I not scaired of him. The abuse was a thing of the past, doesn't mean I'm going to jump back into a relationship with him.and I will keep him at a distance. I spoke to social services today and they said they have no concern me still having contact with my ex as they know 1. We live separate 2. I don't want to be in a relationship anymore 3. I am stronger today and I would not give him any money even if he begged. 4. He is getting help with his problems. The concern is with me i have to proove I can keep up the positive work I've been doing for at least a year. Their worried I will relapse or get depressed again which I am more determined than ever not to. I asked her if theirs anything else I should be doing and she said no im doing everything they just want to see if can keep it up. So the concern lays with me as I'll be the sole carer. I know I can do it I just need to proove it. Thanks for everyone's advice though and I will do a domestic violence course so I can learn and be aware.

OP posts:
Shutthatdoor12 · 09/01/2017 14:43

Op if he has been abusive to you or your child ss won't see it as a thing of the past. They have a duty to safeguard your children.

I still don't believe ss have taken your child for the reasons you said in your op.

Original poster
saraheve · 09/01/2017 14:49

For the people who say im not telling the whole truth I amiss in fact I've opened up more than I've attended to. I never thought my son would be taken away I to thought it only happened in very serious cases like the child was getting physically or sexually abused or wasn't being fed ect. So it was a big shock for me. I was also betrayed by people who made false allegations. The reason why my son has not been returned it because you can only discharge a care order every 6 months and it's only been 5. Plus they want to see if I can care for baby. I'm not lying and have been totally honest probly to honest. Social services say their is no concerns it's based on past and they just want to know if I can keep up good work. Theirs some very spiteful people on hear and I laugh at them because they have not got a clue and think they have. I'm not gonna let their narrow spiteful minds bother me and better and stronger than that

OP posts:
Original poster
saraheve · 09/01/2017 14:54

I have been totally honest. I don't care who doesn't believe in me noone on hear knows me i will proove I can do it. Thanks for the people who have sent nice message you are more intelligent and correct what your saying. I think I'm gonna delete this thread as the narrow minded judgmental people who think their right have not got a clue. To say im lying or not telling the truth when I actually am shows how much u think u know. I'm stronger to let petty people get me down. That's your shit

OP posts:
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