Can they take my baby away

[saraheve]

HI i really need some advice, my 9 year old son was taken into care due to depression i was unable to keep on top of housework, I was binge drinking on weekends and I was in a unhappy relationship with childs farther, since my son has been taken into care I have attended therapy, hired a cleaner, attended a parent recovery group, relapse prevention group and took parenting courses. I am 8 months pregnant due to give birth very soon, I was given a prebirth assessment that said social services will go to court if they see that babys needs are not being met, unborn baby is on child protection and on the plan it says the same, yet social services say they want to take me to court? I was told their is no present concerns and I have addressed all previous concerns yet they want to still take it to court based on pre historic. I have so much evidence of significant changes yet they want to keep me in hospital once baby is born and have a discharge planning meeting where they may take baby away. Have they got any grounds since I have made significant changes and their is no present concerns. I am very devastated please can somone advise me? Thanks.

Ok thanks DigestiveMuncher for holding your hands up, the thing is with people before their in recovery wether ir bring mental health or any drugs or alcohol is you don't see it till its to late and in recovery, I've made mistakes but I know now never to make them mistakes again. I'm very lucky to have my baby home with me and still have a strong bond with my son is wouldn't do anything to jeprodise it. X

How's the baby Sara? You've got loads of people on here that are so impressed with what you've done and willing you to keep it up. You sound so determined!

Babys doing well she's very peaceful. I'm looking after her well (spoiling her a bit) I hope to see her grow up. My children are so special to me. Thanks for everyone's support it means a lot x

I'm not a horrible person, if i see that I am in the wrong about something then I will admit too it and apologise. And well at least you have changed for them. All the best for the future

Sara pleased she's doing well. How is she sleeping?

Is your MH still being monitored? I just hope being monitored so heavily doesn't mean you won't ask for help if you need it.

Digestive, that was a smashing apology. Thank you and a very big well done, it takes a lot to admit being in the wrong and to apologise with such grace.

Congratulations on your baby Sarah. She is gorgeous. My dd was a titchy 5 12 at birth and like a little doll too.

I hope you find a way to get through all this and have your ds back with you and your baby girl. Hopefully one day you will look back at all this and it's past history.

Try and find a way to use your experiences to learn from and help others. Xx

WeeKelpie - it's hard for Saraheve to be dealing with two visits from SS daily, caring for a newborn, trying to monitor her own mental state, feed herself, and get some rest. The pressure must be enormous. On top of that, she has to get the baby ready for contact at the centre, maybe work around naps and feedings, pack a bag of nappies, bottles, etc. for her ex (or maybe he brings necessary supplies?).

She is doing a lot of work while also presumably monitoring her own mental state for signs of ppd or extreme tiredness or frustration with the situation she is in.

And yet all of it might go unappreciated by SS or by the judge if Saraheve has missed the main concern of the authorities who have intervened in her life.

It is really important that she understands exactly what the judge is asking of her and why. He seems to have made a point of making sure the ex stays away from her home. I sincerely hope the significance of this has not been lost.

I hope she will ask SS how come the ex is trusted with the baby despite not working on his cannabis problem (and I know the contact centre is a good compromise and he is being monitored) because if I were her I would be concerned that someone who is considered dangerous enough to cause the judge to make the remark that he made is still allowed contact with the baby, and three times a week is quite a pain in the arse for her to comply with.

Is there contact between Saraheve and the ex at handover time? Does she have to get the baby to the contact centre or do SS ferry her there and back?

Is she being put in an impossible position here wrt contact with the ex, where the intention of the judge is being effectively overruled by the logistics?

Oh and I am also interested in learning whether the DS is the ex's DS of also Sarah's, and if he is the ex's, does the ex have contact with him as well as the baby?

Does the contact happen with the aim of making the ex think seriously about making changes? Does the contact increase the likelihood of the ex and Saraheve getting back together again and how will the judge see that if it happens?

Saraheve needs to find out how much of a factor the judge found the ex's role in whatever happened that made SS remove her DS, so that she won't find herself in the situation again.

Math, it seems you are nothing but predictable.

MrsPeelyWally, I'll repeat - all of it might go unappreciated by SS or by the judge if Saraheve has missed the main concern of the authorities who have intervened in her life.

I am sure nobody here would wish that on Saraheve or her baby.

Saraheve didn't see it coming when her DS was taken into care, and I hope the same thing won't happen again.

Here are a couple of the things she said:
'they want to see the baby's needs are being looked after and baby is not exposed to and drugs and alcohol and domestic violence front my ex partner.'

'I didn't realise the seriousness of things until my son was taken into care.'

I will also throw in a comment from YourOtherLeft upthread:
One of the hardest parts of ASD is when non-ASD people don't realise we can't read between the lines. It means we miss stuff that's obvious to them, but not obvious to us. It also means we don't know how to ask for help in the "right" way...

The ex getting supervised isn't that surprising. I'm not going to derail the thread but I'm having issues currently and not allowing supervised despite cannabis and MH issues hasn't been mentioned.

Math, as I said before, you are not but predictable.

You're getting a tad predictable yourself, MrsPeelyWally.

How's it going sarah? How's baby doing?

Hi mathanxiety yes I have to take baby to contact and back 3 times a week.
Ex is also my oldest childs dad as well we share contact with him once a month. Even though I wish I could spend time alone with oldest child I was told I have to accept this. Babys doing well I just need to keep on top of things and not slip like before, I have far to much to loose if I do x

I have to go back to court on the 16th as social services want to still pursue a care order. Even though baby is thriving in my care and putting on weight and doing well. I am really anxious.

Did they tell you this some time today between your posts of 9:57 and 21:26?

Did they tell you during a visit?

Have they told you why or given even a small hint of why?

(Do the visits with your oldest DS and ex - and you if you share contact - take place in a contact centre?)

Are you going to have a pre-proceedings meeting before the 16th?

math
I'm sure you're trying to be helpful but you posting endless hectoring messages asking the op things she can't or doesn't want to answer isn't helpful at all.
Also they are in care proceedings, they have already issued and been granted an interim supervision order. There will be no pre proceedings meeting as that stage has now passed. There are always several hearings within care proceedings so this upcoming hearing isn't at all unusual and sarah should have had it explained to her by her solicitor.

Is it an actual social worker that comes in twice daily or some sort of SW assistant?

Good luck in court again next week.

It will probably be a sessional worker from an agency. Social workers don't have the time to work like that.

Hi Gallavich your right. Although the baby's social worker comes very often. The gaudian is coming next week the same previous for my son. I know they hold a lot of power in court as their a voice for the children. At mo she supports baby at home but I know how quickly things can change im very anxious.

Good luck Sarah, we're still willing you on to your happy ever after. xx

Thanks MrsPeelyWaly it's just so nerve-wracking going to court and worried about the possible outcome. Lucky my theraphy and groups I go to teach me to turn negitive emotions into positive. I'm happy to say baby is thriving in my care and putting on a lot of weight. Midwife and health visitor are very pleased. I can't help but worry. But I'm gonna use that to make sure I don't slip up in any way xx

No that's what I thought. We had 4 weekly meetings with our SW (disabled child) & that was deemed very high frequency. I hope the worker is supportive.

Good luck .