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Original poster

Can they take my baby away

844 replies

saraheve · 06/01/2017 00:23

HI i really need some advice, my 9 year old son was taken into care due to depression i was unable to keep on top of housework, I was binge drinking on weekends and I was in a unhappy relationship with childs farther, since my son has been taken into care I have attended therapy, hired a cleaner, attended a parent recovery group, relapse prevention group and took parenting courses. I am 8 months pregnant due to give birth very soon, I was given a prebirth assessment that said social services will go to court if they see that babys needs are not being met, unborn baby is on child protection and on the plan it says the same, yet social services say they want to take me to court? I was told their is no present concerns and I have addressed all previous concerns yet they want to still take it to court based on pre historic. I have so much evidence of significant changes yet they want to keep me in hospital once baby is born and have a discharge planning meeting where they may take baby away. Have they got any grounds since I have made significant changes and their is no present concerns. I am very devastated please can somone advise me? Thanks.

OP posts:
HorridHenryrule · 01/02/2017 11:55

Congratulations you deserve to keep your child. Know one is perfect we all make mistakes and we all deserve a chance. Well done. CakeBrewFlowersBear

Thisrabbitthatrabbit · 01/02/2017 11:59

It's really important that you understand your ex is a concern. If he wasn't a concern they wouldn't tell you to ring the police if he shows up.

LIZS · 01/02/2017 11:59

Well done , another hurdle negotiated. If ss ask or offer any support please take it, even if you feel you already have it covered. The more you cooperate the better you can argue for your dc. Has you ex met dd yet?

Thisrabbitthatrabbit · 01/02/2017 12:08

Sorry, I've just reread your post and you say you didn't think your ex was such a concern. I misread it as 'I don't think'. My mistake.

Ohb0llocks · 01/02/2017 12:16

Oh Sarah that's bloody awesome news bet you're over the moon Flowers

lougle · 01/02/2017 12:48

Well it's good that you finally know that your ex is a concern, isn't it?

You have a plan. That's great.

bummymummy77 · 01/02/2017 13:32

This is great! Happy for you.

YouWillNotSeeMe · 01/02/2017 13:36

Congratulations on your beautiful baby.
I think everyone's agrees that your ex being around isn't good for you.

I just wanted to mention something that you commented on about half a post away. You said you have your son the best life, always taking him jot giving him the food he likes etc. Even though you had good intentions, if you allaowef your son to do everything he wanted, I.e. Only eat chocolate and crisps, stay up til 3am, doing lots of fun things, they would still see that as a form of abuse. Even if you were doing it out of love and your son naturally thought you were the best mum in the world.

Good luck.

MeadowHay · 01/02/2017 17:59

Hi Sara taken me most of today to get through all 25 pages of this reading you posts and some peoples' replies, I am so happy at the outcome that you get to take your baby girl home. You are doing an amazing job at turning your life around - I am on the autistic spectrum too and have had severe depression in the past so I can definitely see how difficult situations like yours can arise, "but for the Grace of God go I" and all that. Congratulations on the birth of your little girl and I hope she settles into her home well. And keep up the good work and soon your son will be back home too.

bekindtome · 01/02/2017 18:46

Your news made me smile. I'm so pleased you get to take her home. Hope you also get your ds back in the near future. Good luck and well done for admitting that you needed to change and doing it.

mathanxiety · 01/02/2017 18:56

I am wondering if the court and SS are at odds wrt contact with the ex here - court says he must stay away from the home but SS wants him to have contact with the baby...

How is this to be managed?

UnbornMortificado · 01/02/2017 18:59

Can I just say it was so positive to see posters with SW experience offering advice and support to the OP.

It was really nice to see actually, sometimes with the nasty and goady things posted (generally not just on this thread) I forget how amazing the support can be here.

Sara hope your home and enjoying your DD Flowers

SuperRainbows · 01/02/2017 20:40

Sara, I am sooo happy for you. I am really pleased the judge listened to you and you are taking your beautiful baby girl home. I just loved what you said about the gift of being a parent. You have worked really hard and this was the only fair thing for the court to do.
I hope your son comes home soon too and really bonds with his baby sister.

SuperRainbows · 01/02/2017 20:44

I think this thread(more than others), has shown both ends of the spectrum of mumsnet. I am in awe of the time some posters put in in supporting people going through such distress. At the same time, I am so shocked by some of the venomous downright nasty comments that other posters feel the need to post. Talk about kicking someone when they are down!

woollytights · 01/02/2017 20:56

But if you use your pain to encourage you to change it does make a difference

So very true. Congratulations on the birth of your baby and also for the way you've turned things around. I am speechless Smile

Wheredidallthejaffacakesgo · 01/02/2017 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 02/02/2017 01:33

FANTASIC news 💐

Broken11Girl · 02/02/2017 02:09

So happy for you BrewCake

Original poster
saraheve · 02/02/2017 10:53

Thanks for the nice messages of support guys. I didn't actually talk in court, the judge had the evidence in front of her. The saying is true it's not about talking the talk but it's about walking the walk. It was a boost that the judge was impressed with me and annoyed with ss for wanting to remove baby when I've worked so hard to address all concerns. Ss have a supervision order and are coming round very regularly to check im sustaining the changes I've made. I don't mind as it gives me further evidence to show my flat is tidy and baby is being looked after well.
You know theirs some people who say judges are always on ss side and I was told that judge will agree to care order as they always agree to this. I realise this is wrong it's about evidence and showing theirs no risk. Thanks again everyone. And the people who gave me bad comments it kind of makes me laugh because that's anouther lesson don't listen to negitive comments because more times than most negitive people are wrong.xx

OP posts:
elliejjtiny · 02/02/2017 11:27

That's brilliant news, well done you Grin

UnbornMortificado · 02/02/2017 12:09

I'm really pleased for you.

I know you may see SS as the enemy after this but please don't. You can get shit SW just the same as you can get shit Carers and shit nurses. (Not picking on anyone's profession I work in one of them)

Not a social services bashing post at all, I work with (adult) SW I have the utmost respect for the vast majority of them it's not a job I could ever do.

Will you get a new SW allocated for the supervision order? If not could you not reasonably ask to change worker?

I think having a worker you trust could massively help you.

mathanxiety · 03/02/2017 07:51

Can you recall specifically what the judge said about ex not being allowed to go near your home? Did he issue an order against ex?

How is ex to see the baby? Where? How often?

Unicornsandrainbows3 · 03/02/2017 10:05

She wrote in a PP that ex will see baby 3 times a week in a contact centre and that he is not to come to the house or police will be called.

Well done Sarah, this is wonderful news!

mathanxiety · 04/02/2017 08:01

What are the reservations of the judge about the ex, and on what basis does the judge want the ex to stay away from the home?

Has a non-mol order been issued by any judge, or has the current judge issued an order restraining the ex from coming to the house?

Gallavich · 04/02/2017 08:05

The fact social services are o.know about me caring for her from home shows I am no risk to baby

No, that doesn't show that Sarah. Social services have no choice but to accept that you are caring for the baby at home because that is what the judge ordered. That doesn't mean there are no risks. Please don't be complacent.

math the dad is having supervised contact.