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Original poster

Can they take my baby away

844 replies

saraheve · 06/01/2017 00:23

HI i really need some advice, my 9 year old son was taken into care due to depression i was unable to keep on top of housework, I was binge drinking on weekends and I was in a unhappy relationship with childs farther, since my son has been taken into care I have attended therapy, hired a cleaner, attended a parent recovery group, relapse prevention group and took parenting courses. I am 8 months pregnant due to give birth very soon, I was given a prebirth assessment that said social services will go to court if they see that babys needs are not being met, unborn baby is on child protection and on the plan it says the same, yet social services say they want to take me to court? I was told their is no present concerns and I have addressed all previous concerns yet they want to still take it to court based on pre historic. I have so much evidence of significant changes yet they want to keep me in hospital once baby is born and have a discharge planning meeting where they may take baby away. Have they got any grounds since I have made significant changes and their is no present concerns. I am very devastated please can somone advise me? Thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
saraheve · 01/02/2017 05:36

Thanks mums net for deleting the horrible comments it would of addressing to my distress. As I was so upset yesterday before going court. I couldn't bear my newborn going into foster care. The judge was the same judge who made the order for my son to go into care so she knew the case well. Lucky she didn't support the ss decision and is happy with my progress. Thanks everyone. Sometimes we take things for granted but to be a parent is the greatest gift xx

OP posts:
MaitlandGirl · 01/02/2017 06:07

Have been following your story Sarah - so very happy for you and your beautiful daughter.

Afreshstartplease · 01/02/2017 06:18

Well done Sarah, I'm so happy for you!

Zoflorabore · 01/02/2017 06:22

Wow op! I've just read the full thread start to finish and your update from court made me massively smile Smile

I have a ds with ASD so understand so well how you struggle with communication etc and salute the way you have conducted yourself throughout this process.

It's all too easy to judge people by their past but you have proven that this can happen to anybody, some wrong choices in life can result in your life ( and your children's ) being turned upside down.

I was willing and hoping that you would get to take your beautiful girl home! I too have a boy and a girl but my age gap is 8 years and it's like being a first time mum all over again isn't it? Rules on bottles etc, when I had ds who's 13, you could make the feeds up for the whole day, i felt a bit clueless when I had dd even though I was 33 and seemingly on the ball.

Don't forget to look after YOU too, the love you have for your dd shines through, there is no doubt about that.
I wish you all the luck in the world, remember to play ball over your ds, keeping your side of the street clean ( my ds would struggle with that concept and actually think he would need to clean the street )
Just to say I get a bit of your condition and think you've made great progress.

Big hugs, don't care if it's not the done thing, you deserve this xx

mathanxiety · 01/02/2017 06:23

Is there an order issued by the judge to prevent your ex from coming to the home or do you now have to get a non-molestation order against him yourself?

(Hope you're able to get some rest).

RaisinsAndApple · 01/02/2017 06:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

listsandbudgets · 01/02/2017 06:51

Your update has made my day and it's not even 7am.

Was so worried social services were going to take her I did not dare to post in case I upset you. Brilliant that the judge decided to give you amd your lovely baby another chance. I like hope you are soon back with your son too and you can be a family

Hercules12 · 01/02/2017 07:05

Well done, Sarah. You've worked really hard for this. Keep posting for continued support. You can do this.

Thisrabbitthatrabbit · 01/02/2017 07:22

I'm over the moon for you Sarah!

MrsPeelyWally · 01/02/2017 07:25

I'm very happy for you Sara. You have a lot of people willing you on here and all we want for all of you is your happy ending.

ASqueakingInTheShrubbery · 01/02/2017 07:37

Well done, brilliant result! Keep strong, keep him away. Apply for a non-mol if necessary.

lougle · 01/02/2017 07:45

That is such amazing news, Sarah. Cherish this opportunity and follow the instructions you've been given to the absolute letter.

Be really strict about not allowing your ex to the property. Find out what you need to do if he comes to the door. Do you need to call SS and report it? Do you need to call the Police? If you need to call the Police, is it 101 or 999? Once you've done that, do you then need to tell SS that you had to do it? - Show them that you are absolutely committed to keeping your little girl safe and following their instructions.

Gallavich · 01/02/2017 08:11

Brilliant news for you. I hope this thread shows some people that children's services don't get to take babies without legal mandate and that fairly often applications for care orders are turned down.

rosesandcashmere · 01/02/2017 08:14

Wow this is great news! Please do carry on with all your changes, you're doing so well! Please also listen to the previous posters advice re your ex. If he comes anywhere near the home or you then call the police.

UnbornMortificado · 01/02/2017 08:23

Sara I'm so incredibly pleased for you.

You had me worried last night. Again massive congratulations fantastic news to start the morning off to.

UnbornMortificado · 01/02/2017 08:34

Please do stick around. Babies are hard (im dreading the newborn stage) but despise the goady fuckers that pop up now again the support you on get here will be invaluable.

I agree about your ex by the way, I think if anything will threaten your happiness with your children it will be him. I'm saying that from experience.

Slaymill · 01/02/2017 09:02

I'm so happy for you and your beautiful baby girl. Keep up the good work try to do a little housework when the baby is sleeping. Amazing what you can do in just five minutes.

I hope your ex doesn't bother you. Take whatever steps you need you keep him away.

Do you have a baby book you can write down little things that the baby does to share with your son.

Rooting for you Flowers

Thisrabbitthatrabbit · 01/02/2017 09:06

Have you been able to organise something with homestart? Housework is incredibly hard to keep on top of with a newborn.

JigglyTuff · 01/02/2017 09:08

I haven't posted before but been following (with my heart in my mouth). I'm so very pleased for you saraheve.

Well done - you're doing brilliantly. And do keep posting here for support if you need it. It's hard work on your own with a newborn

Afreshstartplease · 01/02/2017 09:27

Op I find the housework threads on here help to motivate me to do things that might be worth a try

insan1tyscartching · 01/02/2017 09:52

So happy you got to take your daughter home Sarah. I have a son and a daughter with autism and can understand and empathise with the difficulties you must have faced. You have worked so hard to get on the right track.
Like a pp suggests ask SS to write down for you the exact steps you need to follow if your ex comes to your door and then follow them to the letter every time. Don't try to use your judgement just follow the steps they give so you can prove that you are doing everything you can to keep your dd safe.

DearMrDilkington · 01/02/2017 10:47

Wonderful news Sara!! Very happy for you, keep up the changes.Smile

Kmxxx14 · 01/02/2017 10:55

So happy and relieved for you! I believe you deserve it and can do this!!

TheLadyWithTheYellowHat · 01/02/2017 11:04

Read this whole thread (its taken me two days on and off!) Sarah im so happy you got to take your baby home, you've been through such an emotional journey and I truly hope you your dd and ds are all reunited soon. Keep up with all the amazing work you've done Flowers

Original poster
saraheve · 01/02/2017 11:27

Thanks everyone for the positive words. It's true social services would have every ground to take baby if I didn't make any changes. But if you use your pain to encourage you to change it does make a difference. It was nice to hear judge was impressed with the changes I've made as she was involved in my case. She criticised ss and said a care order should be the last resort if everything else has failed. Yet they had not even planned about anything else. The fact social services are o.know about me caring for her from home shows I am no risk to baby. I didn't think ex was such a concern. They said if he comes round to call police. But he knows this is better than her going into care. And he gets to see her 3 times a week at contact centre so his ok with it as he knows alternative is worse and he can still see her. Also judge said ss need to offer support before asking for a care placement. But theirs not much they can offer me that im not doing for myself. All I have to do is carry on with changes. And maybe find some good influence friends so I'm not around drugs or alcohol. Keep myour baby safe. Thank everyone who has posted kind words. It means a lot xx

OP posts: