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Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Urgent advice needed

51 replies

Justme90 · 21/06/2014 14:10

I have a 3 year old child and the court has ordered that the child goes to live with his father with immediate effect.Bit of a back ground I split with him ex 2 years ago following domestic abuse from him. I was trapped in the relationship for years He kept the child and I had to go to court to get the child back. Following the break up he engaged in a prolonged period of harassment. He was arrested for that and on bail when he broke into my house and assaulted me and my friend and attempted to abduct the child.He was immediately arrested where he tried to hang himself in the police station.He was convicted of assault x2 and harassment and breach of bail. He basically got a slap on the wrist and a restraining order was put in place.I continued to try and make contact work but him feeling very bitter would use the child to get at mine. He would purposely keep the child up late at night, give him a bottle, put him in nappies etc which caused a lot of confusion for the child as mummy says no daddy says yes. The child would also go home saying bad things about me like he used to call me mummy pig. His parents always created problems at handovers and we're always late etc. He continued his harassment which was reported to the police but kept getting away with it. At this point his harassment became clever and he would do it through the courts solicitors social services etc. Everytime after contact I would recieve a letter from my solicitor. He used this court process to find out information about me high w the courts willingly gave. He made out he was a loving father etc would put on all the tears etc and the court would fall for it.I was harassed by the Cafcass officer who had been taken in by him, the Cafcass officer was even calling on Xmas eve.Following all the difficulties with contact I terminated contact. The difficulties included the continued harassment, driving him in a car without a licence and dropping him off at nursery with dried excrement stuck to his bum plus the convicted sexual abusers in the family.It was have always supported contact and offered supervised contact but just wanted it to be safe for my child.He applied for an enforcement order which the judge upheld I still refused as he began making wild accusations to the court.He then applied for a residence application. By this time he had got a new partner and a new child. It then became aware that his new partner had already reported him for harassment when they split up but now they are happily living together and the courts and Cafcass have falling for the charade.Their new child was in hospital as it was 16 weeks early and the hospital expressed concerns that they struggled to attend the hospital. He also has another much older child whom despite gaining a court order has walked away from that child.Cafcass said switching residence would be the last resort and very traumatic for the child and distressing. But despite everything residence has been switched. I am in pieces, I am 16 weeks pregnant and I'm really concerned as I passed out 3 times already. I really don't know what to do.It says in the order if I dont hand him over by Monday a warrant for my arrest will be issued and it's to go back to court urgently.There is another hearing arranged for mid July.What options are available for me? My family is about to be ripped apart, our unborn child is being put at risk due to stress.How can this be allowed to happen? How can a judge put a child at so much risk? My child is gonna be traumatised by this. He hardly knows who his father is. His father hasn't sent him any cards or presents in 2 years and has refused to pay maintenance. And to top it all off im only able to see my child once a week for an hour supervised. What can I do?

OP posts:
SolomanDaisy · 21/06/2014 14:14

What does your solicitor advise? Do you feel it has been explained to you why residence has been changed?

DottyDooRidesAgain · 21/06/2014 14:18

Do you have a legal representative?

I find it shocking that given the police involvement and the lack of proper parenting that your ex has been given residency! What reasons did they give for awarding residency?

I am sure somebody with more knowledge will be along OP. Sorry I am not much help.

Justme90 · 21/06/2014 14:25

I have heard nothing from my solicitor. I didn't attend court due to me being pregnant and the harassment I get from my ex at previous hearings so my solicitor agreed it was best I didn't attend. I was only made aware last night when a court official knocked at the door with the court papers. It gives no reasons or anything. All I know is they have switched residency because I refused contact. I just wanted my child to be safe. Now he is being put in extreme danger.

OP posts:
tribpot · 21/06/2014 14:30

The papers sound bogus to me. A court official knocking on your door? I think it's a fake. The fact you haven't heard from your solicitor as well makes me think this is an attempt to trick you into handing the child over.

I would contact the police for advice, and lock yourself in on Monday morning until you hear from your solicitor.

DottyDooRidesAgain · 21/06/2014 14:33

You need to speak to your solicitor asap. Did you not contact them (solicitor) after the court hearing to find out what the outcome was?

Do you have any support in RL? You say you are pregnant is the babies father supporting you?

kilmuir · 21/06/2014 14:34

Sounds a bit odd. Do court officials make home visits????

skyeskyeskye · 21/06/2014 14:35

Agree with tribpot, it sounds odd if you haven't heard this from your solicitor. I agree not to handover without contacting your solicitor first.

Can you ring the police on the non emergency number to see if they have any advice?

DottyDooRidesAgain · 21/06/2014 14:36

What do the papers say/look like?

I agree with others it sounds very odd. If that decision had been made then your solicitor would have contacted you immediately.

MooseBeTimeForSpring · 21/06/2014 14:38

If papers need serving it's not unusual for a process server to be instructed to deliver a Court Order. I do find it odd that your Solicitor hasn't been in contact. You might have grounds for appeal. You need to get legal advice quickly,

I have to say however that being pregnant is not an excuse for not attending a hearing. If your ex was harassing you then arrangements can usually be made at Court for you to be kept separate.

An order transferring residence is very unusual and a matter of last resort. I think there's a lot you're not telling us.

Justme90 · 21/06/2014 14:46

Yes it all seems pretty legit sadly. They showed their id's to me and the court order looks the same as previous ones. I tried to contact my solicitor on Friday trying to find out how it went but couldn't get hold of them. I'm surprised something as big as this and they didn't inform me.

OP posts:
DottyDooRidesAgain · 21/06/2014 14:52

I would go to their office Monday morning. You need to know they ruled that you should hand over the child.
I would not be handing over my child without speaking with the solicitor.

Justme90 · 21/06/2014 14:53

I have suffered 6 miscarriages in the past, this is the furthest I have got so I'm not risking my unborn childs life. There is considerable problems with me attending hearings, my safety too and from the court can't be assured as him and his family have often followed me etc. Even in court I've been given seperate rooms etc but they always find reasons to knock on the door etc or stand outside the hearing room. My ex seeing me in the hearing room just stares at me and the harassment always gets worse after he sees me. He has gone through this process because he thinks it will make me take him back or he will get to see me at court etc.

The court has no concerns about me as a parent. Of course he has made up lies but all with no evidence at all.

OP posts:
Justme90 · 21/06/2014 15:03

It says in the order I am to hand the child over on Monday in the Cafcass room at the court. My position right now I feel is that I am not going to do that and instead will let it be listed for a urgent hearing and will have to attend that. Cafcass my solicitor etc said there is a very slim chance residence would be switched but now it's happened and I'm devastated for my child.

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wannaBe · 21/06/2014 15:19

I think you need to be dealing with your solicitors, IMO mn isn't the right place to get advice as there is clearly more to this. Courts don't switch residents and award only one hour contact a week without very good reasons.

Justme90 · 21/06/2014 15:22

Until Monday I can't get hold of my solicitor. I'm going out of my mind here. I have gave a run down of everything. The only reason residence has been switched is to ensure contact with father. It's ridiculous.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 21/06/2014 15:24

Well you're just going to have to wait until Monday.

I suggest being out all day so they can't come for your child.

Yes, you needed to attend court - you must have missed challenging this or responding quite a few times

notapizzaeater · 21/06/2014 15:28

That sounds horrendous - can you ring social services - there must be someone there 24x7 ?

wellcoveredsparerib · 21/06/2014 15:33

Did you have sight of all the court statements and evidence? Even if you were not able to attend the hearing you should have been taken through these in advance and had the opportunity to respond with your own statement. surely your solicitor gave you an indication of which way the evidence was leading?

It is v unusual for courts to uproot a child unless there are real concerns about their current care.

wannaBe · 21/06/2014 15:34

But that doesn't explain why you have only been awarded one hour contact a week.

schoolissuehmmm · 21/06/2014 15:38

Even if the court ordered a change of residency due to you refusing contact why would you only be given 1 hr a week supervised contact? That doesn't make sense. There's either been a huge mistake or there's much more to your story.

You mention that your ex used the Court process to find things about you out.. Like what? There would have to be serious welfare concerns with your care of the child for a complete reversal of residency and such limited and supervised contact to be awarded.

Have you seen the Cafcass report?

myrtleWilson · 21/06/2014 15:47

I too am surprised your solicitor didn't get in touch immediately. Was your partner not able to attend the hearing in your place?

Justme90 · 21/06/2014 17:05

The only thing I'm aware of is father is making out I'm going to run away with the child. There is no welfare concerns about me. My ex has made various reports to social services and all have came back with having no concerns about me. All the Cafcass reports said contact should happen and residence would be a last resort as it would be traumatic for my child and distressing.

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Justme90 · 21/06/2014 17:09

Basically he would try and find out anything about my life that he could through Cafcass. Things like me beingpregnant etc. He and his family think they own me. All ththis is about him trying to control me.

OP posts:
DottyDooRidesAgain · 21/06/2014 17:17

Is the father of your unborn child around to support you through this OP?

Justme90 · 21/06/2014 17:39

Yes he is he has been very helpful and supportive. I can tell he is dying on the inside but he is trying to hold everything together for me. He has suffered a huge amount of harassment from my ex also.

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