BFP after IVF - anyone want to join me in the wait for first scan?

[HopefulllHolly]

Sensitive

Hi everyone,
I’ve just had our first cycle of IVF and although we had very slim odds of it working (low AMH, low AFC, male factor, which led to only 2 mature eggs which thankfully led to one perfect day 5 blast). We are absolutely amazed and over the moon that it worked despite everything, but I am really struggling with the wait for first scan. I almost feel with infertility (we TTC for 6/7 years) that it does make you anxious and I’m finding the wait to my first scan (6th June) unbearable. I don’t want to seem ungrateful but I really wish I could enjoy it or relax a little but instead I am worrying about miscarriage and things I can’t control. For me this has been the worst bit of IVF so far, and I’d love to just be able to be happy so I don’t look back (if it does work) and wish that I hadn’t been so anxious and scared.

Is anyone else in the same boat who wants to keep me company? 🥹 Or can provide some tips on how to distract myself and cope better? I know there’s nothing I can do to change the outcome and what will be will be, but I don’t think I’ve ever worried so much in my life.

Thank you 🙏

Thanks @AnnieStar12 that’s helpful.

God I feel rough today. Covid has given me even less energy, a really sore dry throat that keeps making me cough and then I cough so hard I throw up. It’s really not very fun. No fever but I’m sweating doing anything so it looks like it’s a day in bed for me which is annoying when I had lots to do this weekend 😞 Hope everyone else has a lovely one!

Sorry to hear you are struggling with COVID @HopefulllHolly the all day long nausea has well and truly kicked in for me. Had to take yesterday off work because of it. Not actually being sick (thank goodness) but having to eat constantly to try and manage the nausea. Only craving very salty and specific things which feels so odd as I have been super healthy in the lead up to the IVF. But gotta give the body what it wants. I am also having a weekend of rest as got no energy to do anything else...and the nausea is easier to manage when I lie still 😫🤢

Oh bless you @DogMummy87 hope it doesn’t last long! My nausea kind of went away at 8/9 weeks now it’s quite random. And definitely the same re: diet. I am a super healthy eater normally but now everything healthy makes my stomach turn at the thought. I only wanted potatoes at the start but now I just don’t fancy anything at all. I have to force it down most of the time. Get a good movie on and have a nice afternoon nap. Luckily the weather isn’t as nice now so it doesn’t feel like a waste! Hope you’re feeling better soon. 😊

Thanks @HopefulllHolly there has been a lot of TV watching and snoozing happening here! Hoping to get back to work as usual on Monday so I need all the rest I can get over the weekend. Yeah, I keep feeling guilty for not eating all the stuff I imagined I would be during this time but doing the best I can. Just desperate for this scan now on Wednesday to get that reassurance that everything is okay! 🤞🏻🙏🏻💜

@DogMummy87 All will be ok. I always find it’s easier to count down if I don’t count the weekends 😂 So you have 2 days to go really! That makes it feel ok to me. It’ll go fast.

I’ve started getting anxious again since my last scan on Monday though. Already want another one. Hoping the NIPT results come back next week which they should do and that they are ok. Then hopefully I’ll be slightly less insane again! My partner is away all week so it’s going to be nervewracking on my own.

I hope so and that is a good way to think about counting down the days haha. It has been a long 3 week wait!

Fingers crossed your results come soon to put your mind at ease. We are thinking we will do a private scan about 9.5 weeks as well as I definitely won't be able to wait until 12 weeks. I honestly haven't even thought ahead to what comes after this scan on Wednesday as I just feel so anxious about it and find it difficult to plan ahead or get too excited still. I know we all struggle with that and it is likely to last quite a while!

I have decided not to go on my work trip to Madrid on 7th July. It wasn't going to be the most relaxing of work trips and it felt too risky at this really precious time so another colleague is going instead and I am so relieved. I definitely couldn't manage this current nausea in the heat there doing very long days at a theatre festival.

@DogMummy87 I think the wait to the first scan was one of the worst bits, and then the one I had at 9.5 weeks was also anxious but I didn’t feel quite as scared waiting to see the heartbeat as I did the first one. It’s definitely easiest to get through a scan, then plan for the next one and only look as far ahead as that. I had hoped to feel excited at 12 weeks but it’s not even that far away now and I can’t see my anxiety getting better. Maybe by 24 weeks when I know I could give birth and it be ok? 🙃 Definitely get another scan at 9.5/10 weeks, the difference is amazing!

Oh that’s good you’ve got a replacement going. I think it would definitely be too hot and you’ll just be worrying the whole time I’m sure.

Yeah, it makes sense that each scan should ease a bit of anxiety but who knows if it will ever go away fully. I have had to tell a few more people at work because of this trip and someone got so excited for me the other day. It was lovely but shocked me as I realised I haven't experienced that proper excitement at all yet. I really want to feel it soon! 🙏🏻💕

@DogMummy87 I totally get that. My friend last night started asking me about baby showers and was so giddy and I felt like a right party pooper saying I hadn’t even let my brain think about things like that and probably wouldn’t until I’m much later down the line. It’s so nice people are so happy and I kind of feel guilt for my baby that I’m not excited yet (or I am excited but the anxiety is massively over weighing it and stopping me from really being happy) Damn IVF anxiety!!

Hi ladies, happy Sunday! Hope you are all having a good weekend? We made it to France safely although my nausea has been awful the last two days, I think im 6+4 now and I remember with my DS the sickness hitting around the same time so it gives me hope that things are progressing!

I'm so sorry @HopefulllHolly that covid has wiped out your weekend that totally sucks! How are you feeling today? The anxiety is really tough as someone who had anxiety anyway, I def think pregnancy makes it worst for me, but as you hit each milestone it hopefully should get a little bit better for you.

Sorry I know im a bit late re the c section talk but I had one with my DS. I def had a fear of vaginal birth and didn't want forceps, being cut etc. As i have anxiety, it was already flagged by midwives so my local hospital had this antenatal clinic specifically for mental health (don't know if all hospitals have this or not) and I mentioned early on that I wanted an elective c section. I don't really recall any major resistance from the doctors more the community midwives who tried to push down the natural route, in the end I had a antenatal counsellor say that your birth is your birth, not anyone else's and I just stuck to my guns and had an elective date put in the diary. The absolute irony was I went into natural labour literally the night before my planned c section date (I even spent the day pampering, had a bath, put on a bump mask and binged a load of true crime docs on netflix lol) and I had contractions thick and fast, got to the hospital, my DS ended up being in distress so had an emergency c section which was fine but it was not as smooth as I'd anticipated with a planned one. Def if all goes well with this pregnancy I'm not going to even attempt a VBAC or TOLAC and hopefully I'll end up with my planned c section listening to my Spotify playlist haha. All I'd say to anyone else considering c section is stick to your guns, your body, your birth. Even my health visitor who noted that my DS had a head circumference of 95th centile as a newborn (ie he inherited my large head) said: "Ooh aren't you glad he came out the sunroof..."

@oliviagrace2307 Glad you made it safe to France! Hope you have a lovely sunny time! Sorry to hear you’re feeling a bit rough but definitely does help reassure a little I guess! Hope it doesn’t continue too badly for your holiday though!

Im ok thanks - felt really really bad yesterday - body aches, chills and shivering, migraines and a terrible sore throat. Today it’s turned more in to a head cold - very sneezy and snotty and a cough. Just been in bed all weekend trying to get my body to kick it quickly! Thankfully no fever which was worrying me. Not sure how I’m going to cope next week as my partner is away all week until Saturday night and I have work and it’s busy, plus dog walks and trying to kick Covid on top of already feeling knackered from baby. 🤣 My partners been doing all the cleaning and most of the cooking (mainly for himself as I’ve lost all my appetite now, I just don’t fancy anything at all). Going to be a long week!

Im just going to keep thinking about birth plan and see whether my mind changes - we shall see! Definitely feels early thinking about it but at the same time it’s nice to try and look ahead when you feel anxious. 10 days until my 12 week scan now so I’m hoping it goes quickly and is good news. I’m finding the reassurance from scans is very short lived now - hopefully a proper one will help make it feel real as the others have just been short and not informative really. It’d be nice to hear about the little babe in there so I can feel like I’m a bit more connected with it. 🥹

Morning all! Hope you had a nice weekend.

I’m having a panic today - @DippyDuck19 @Fluffyted @Edf @LouP87 those of you ladies who are nearly 12 weeks - what are your symptoms like? I don’t feel pregnant anymore and it’s really worrying and upsetting me. I just feel normal (plus Covid). 🥺

@HopefulllHolly sorry you've been poorly with Covid. Hoping you're starting to feel better??

My nausea and sickness has significantly improved and no longer feeling exhausted. My boobs still hurt slightly but I almost don't feel pregnant too!!! I keep telling myself it's because the placenta is taking over! I said to DP yesterday I need another scan to check 🤦🏻‍♀️ my 12 weeks scan isn't until next Thursday! It feels ages away!!!

@DippyDuck19 No unfortunately I still feel terrible. It’s like a really bad head cold now and a cough. Having to take a day off today 🙁 Typical I’ve been hibernating and not going out anywhere and my other half brings it home from the pub. He’s over it now too and didn’t have it as bad.

Oh bless you, yeah mines the day before yours which is weird when you’re a week ahead of me! I don’t have sore boobs, no nausea, tiredness maybe but feels more like covid is causing that. I just don’t feel like I did so it’s really making me fear our 12 week scan. I hope everything is ok. 9 days not including today 🤞Slightly more reassured that you are feeling the same worries (though that seems mean)

Hi, hope everyone is well, just wondering if anyone in the group would know , how long do I need to wait before going for another egg collection, after just having one and a failed fresh transfer ? We do have two frozen but I would like to get more collected before I am 42 at the end of the year and just wondering do I just wait for a natural period then can start again does anyone know ? Thanks

Hope you feel better soon, sorry just was reading the chat as been off it for a few days, that’s rubbish you have Covid ! Hope it clears up soon lovely.

@HopefulllHolly I know what you mean. It's reassuring when someone else feels similar to you! I'm sure everything will be fine for our scans!

DP has been unwell all weekend with what I think is probably Covid. I just hope I don't get it! I usually catch everything and get it worse than him!

@hopefullsosbry thanks petal. ☺️
Ive not done a FET myself but I think I’ve completed mumsnet now - I think you have a withdrawal bleed then a normal period then you can go again in most clinics but some may vary. When do you have a meeting with your clinic next? I’d think you have plenty of time. How are you doing most importantly?

@DippyDuck19 Oh gosh I hope you don’t! My partner slept in a spare bedroom on the top floor in his own quarantine and I still caught it. 🙃

Fingers crossed for the scans - I hope it’s ok and can start feeling baby soonish (not that I’d likely recognise it!) which will help reassure us!

@hopefullsosbry I went straight into my next cycle with the withdrawal bleed from the failed transfer. So I did ny first collection + transfer in March. Negative test stopped progesterone and bled and that cycle started my next round which we did down reg and then stims and that resulted in this pregnancy.

@HopefulllHolly and @DippyDuck19 Im
sure you both know this, but HCG peaks around week 10 so it’s totally normal that symptoms start easing up at this stage. It’s very common (and a relief!) for the second trimester to be much easier than the first as people stop feeling sick all the time. Try not to worry, but you know I’m a believer in doing whatever you need for reassurance so whether that’s an extra scan or visit to the EPU just do what you need as anxiety is horrible to live with.

Thanks @AnnieStar12 you’re right, it’s just scary not really knowing what’s going on in there. Especially not having been pregnant before. I’m a wreck. I did try and book a private scan but it’s only been a week since my last so they wouldn’t let me! I was quite shocked they’d just say no. Plus my partner is away all week and I wouldn’t want to find out something bad while he’s gone. In hindsight though the reassurance from the scan only lasts a day or two so there isn’t any point now anyway, I’ll just ride out the next 9 days I think. Need to put my big girl pants on!

How are you feeling?

Hey everyone, hope all is well - I feel like there is so much to catch up on.

@hopefullsosbry I was so sorry to read your news 💐 I’m glad that your body is dealing with it naturally and you’re not being kept in any more limbo, but it’s small comfort. When we lost our first baby (which was in the second trimester) we had the withdrawal bleed, then a period, then we were able to start again. It did take a while for my period to come back though (8 weeks ish).

@ThePeachGoose yes, have read Emily Oster’s books (I do appreciate her approach to data but sometimes worry she oversteps the mark in her recommendations!) but that’s reassuring and consistent with my understanding too - it’s essentially a risk benefit analysis. Thank you for sharing!

@HopefulllHolly @DippyDuck19 glad you’re both starting to feel better, definitely try not to worry about it from a pregnancy pov. My friend was vomiting copiously and it stopped bang on 10 weeks. @AnnieStar12 is right, the placenta starts to take over around now. Definitely understand the anxiety though, I think it’s there regardless.

I have definitely been feeling less tired (although still having a daily nap when I can squeeze one in!) but still nauseous. I tend to still get the nausea until about 14-15 weeks for some reason so I am just holding on for now. We have a scan tomorrow at 10+1 (and NIPT) which I am so scared for. The last one feels like it was ages away. I was only reading last night about a woman who had a MMC at 11 weeks (discovered at 14) on mumsnet and it is so difficult not to let your mind and worries go there. I think it’s just coming to terms with the fact that there isn’t any control over or in this process.

Is anyone starting to show yet? I have a little bump which is way earlier than last time. I didn’t tell work until 20 weeks before, but I think I will be lucky to get away with it this time - I really need to get to the 12 week scan (which is at 13 weeks for me) first. It’s quite stressful! I am slim so it feels really obvious.

@Leaf86 good luck for your scan tomorrow. Hope all goes well.

I have a bit of a bump but not sure if it's bloat! I usually have a little bit of a belly but definitely bigger than what I usually am. None of my usual clothes fit me and my work uniform is a squeeze! Luckily I am only in the office once a week so I save my biggest uniform top for that day! lol don't think anyone's noticed soo far!

@hopefullsosbry with my mmc in jan I had the bleed to dispel the pregnancy then was able to start fet on day 1 of next cycle, I was about 9 weeks when I took med management so bled for quite a long time, but in hindsight felt a lot longer than it was so I’d say unless they wana check thyroid or any other checks that you should be good to go soon 🤞

@HopefulllHolly sorry your still feeling crap! I do feel less nausea but the tiredness and lethargy still with me, with my last I found out from 12 week bloods I was anaemic so wondering if that’s the same this time, kinda hoping I am so I can do something about it as I really just can’t be bothered to do anything. Not long till your scan now tho 😊

@Leaf86 Awww good luck tomorrow! I’m sure the scan will be lovely. 🥰 What’s the date of your 12 week scan? I definitely think I have a little bump, my belly looks quite round - especially at night but today it looks like a proper pregnancy belly - kind of sticks out under my ribs too? I’ve bought some new trousers and dresses because although my jeans and stuff still fit they aren’t comfortable anymore.

@Edf Ah that’s reassuring - hope you don’t have anaemia again though! Your 12 week is next Monday isn’t it?