BFP after IVF - anyone want to join me in the wait for first scan?

[HopefulllHolly]

Sensitive

Hi everyone,
I’ve just had our first cycle of IVF and although we had very slim odds of it working (low AMH, low AFC, male factor, which led to only 2 mature eggs which thankfully led to one perfect day 5 blast). We are absolutely amazed and over the moon that it worked despite everything, but I am really struggling with the wait for first scan. I almost feel with infertility (we TTC for 6/7 years) that it does make you anxious and I’m finding the wait to my first scan (6th June) unbearable. I don’t want to seem ungrateful but I really wish I could enjoy it or relax a little but instead I am worrying about miscarriage and things I can’t control. For me this has been the worst bit of IVF so far, and I’d love to just be able to be happy so I don’t look back (if it does work) and wish that I hadn’t been so anxious and scared.

Is anyone else in the same boat who wants to keep me company? 🥹 Or can provide some tips on how to distract myself and cope better? I know there’s nothing I can do to change the outcome and what will be will be, but I don’t think I’ve ever worried so much in my life.

Thank you 🙏

@AnnieStar12 thats so weird, it’s not working for me either but it was a straight copy paste. It’s called “paracetamol use during pregnancy - a call for precautionary action” and it’s in Nature Reviews Endocrinology (if anyone else has issues, it should come up if you google this).

@RunningOnHope Hope the scan does well today!

@hopefullsosbry Hope you’re ok and the second second lot of bloods today goes ok. Sending hugs xx

@oliviagrace2307 I'm pleased you like Girls5eva! I hope they return for season 4; it's currently up in the air. Oh wow that sounds like a serious book. For me, it's safe to say that I'm not in my reading era at the moment lol and particularly these days I feel like I don't have the patience to read anything long-form, there's too much going on. We live in London but we do like doing staycations in the city, grabbing brunch, a nice dinner (I'll keep Flesh and Buns in mind, never tried it), maybe a show (I'm eyeing Mean Girls but it's so expensive!). The important thing is that there's no house chores or work and it provides a change of scenery and takes our mind off things. So need to look into planning something for that today.

I remember Emily Oster did an analysis of the studies available on this topic in 2022. She's an economist analysing medical studies so definitely take her recommendations with a pinch of salt. But this was the gist of her analysis: https://parentdata.org/tylenol-pregnancy-and-that-new-lawsuit/ and it's probably in her book too, Expecting Better. Bottom line, the studies are imperfect and she recommended not to go crazy on paracetamol, but if you need it every now and again, have it to make your life easier, but don't abuse it. If I remember well (it's been a few years though) the paracetamol side effects reported occur from accumulation. But especially in cases where you do get fever, the benefit outweighs the risk.

Hey, just thought ad update .. beta is coming down, 150 today so it’s dropping, hage to stop progesterone and just do a urine test next week and call them and hopefully it’s gone back to base line .. hopefully I’ll start bleeding in a few days and it will all just cone away naturally, been lucky in that past they come away without intervention so with this being so early it should just do that .. anyways hope everyone else is well , I’ll prob just stay a silent watcher as would be lovely to hear how you all get on with your pregnancies if you don’t mind me lurking in on the chat still , wishing each and everyone of you healthy and happy pregnancies and births 💖

@hopefullsosbry I’m so gutted for you. Did no one want to scan you, or is it enough to see the levels drop to know it’s an early loss?
Sounds like you’re ready to move forward now, I hope you can get one of those frostie transferred soon. It just feels so unfair that you’ve got to go through this after you’ve been through so much already. Sending virtual hugs xx

Yeh it’s too small , at such low levels you wouldn’t see anything on a scan .. the fact it’s decreasing is good as it’s just doing its thing probably getting ready to come away , thanks so much xxx💖

@hopefullsosbry Oh lovely. I’m sorry it’s not worked out but I am relieved for you that it’s coming away naturally for you and you can breathe a bit of a sigh of relief. (Feels weird saying that, but I hope you know what I mean!)

Of course we’d love you to stay! And I’m really looking forward to seeing you get that baby! Sending you lots of love and hope for the future. 😘😘😘

@hopefullsosbry it’s a shame that it didn’t work out this time round 😔 At this point you can only hope that it resolves by itself so that you don’t need to keep going back and forth to the EPU. Also so that you can just move on and try again with a fresh new embryo and a fresh new chance, if that is what you want to do. Lots of hugs and you’re always welcome here xx

@hopefullsosbry so sorry to hear this and I hope you are doing okay. Look after yourself and I will be hoping you get that lasting positive so very soon! It will be lovely to have you stick around here too 😘💜

@hopefullsosbry am sorry sorry it's not better news! I hope you're ok. You sound like you're handling this well all things considered!
Of course you can stick around. Keep us updated too on your next steps. Wishing you all the best!

Hiya, all went well at our scan today! Measuring perfect for 7w4, got to see and hear the heartbeat! Such a relief. Due 10th Feb 💗

@RunningOnHope Awww lovely. A little Valentine! My clinic said they can’t hear the heartbeat until 12-16 weeks so I am very jealous!!

@HopefulllHolly I was surprised, she said it was a new trick she'd just learnt to do on the machine - maybe it's jut converting the visualisation of it into sound artificially? It was lovely though!

@RunningOnHope lovely news! So pleased for you!

@RunningOnHope That’s amazing! 🤩 So glad you had a memorable first scan.

@RunningOnHope Beautiful news!! So happy for you! 💕

@RunningOnHope wonderful news, I’m so, so pleased for you!

@RunningOnHope whoa, fab news!

My due date is same week, on 7th Feb, but I’m already decided I’m having an elective c-section so I’m guessing it’ll be a late January baby for me as I think they do that at 38/39 weeks. I’m planning to ask about it at my booking appointment on Monday but a bit worried they’re gonna try convince me to have a vaginal birth. Im
trying to be prepared to say all the right things.

Out of curiosity, what are the right things to say to get them to do a c-section? @AnnieStar12

@AnnieStar12 @ThePeachGoose I was an ELCS too. I’m not totally sure why other than I have a total fear of vaginal birth. I think it’s a phobia tbh, the thought just makes me go in to a panic. I was debating whether to have some sort of CBT or something to try and persuade me as the recovery must be brutal for a C-section? They didn’t really ask me at my booking appointment but I think the obstetrician appointment on the 10th they probably will.
Have you had one before then @AnnieStar12 ?

I don’t remember being asked anything about delivery until way down the line last time, but then I had to be induced at 37 and the second the burst my waters the anethnatist was on standby to get the epidural in, so had quite a pain free journey (altho a bit of drama after) and rather enjoyed it- if that’s not weird to say 🤷🏻‍♀️

@HopefulllHolly I have exactly the same fears! I'm terrified of a vaginal birth, needing forceps or tearing! Am quite petite so I worry baby might get stuck! Am not good with pain too. I have 4cm teratoma cysts on my ovaries which I'm concerned with cause my ovaries to twist during contractions. If they twist, I could potentially lose my ovaries!
I asked my midwife at the booking appointment when do we talk birthing options as I would like to get my head round the options. She asked if I'm asking for an ELCS then I can have one if that's what I wanted. TBH the thought of an ELCS, post op pain and recovery does is not something I want to consider either! I said I wanted to discuss all options first. She asked me to discuss the potential complications with my ovaries with the consultant at my 16 week appointment.

Baby is in there now and it's got to come out one way or another! Am going to start my research after my 12 week scan!

@Edf Well I’m glad you enjoyed it! 😅 I’ve heard epidurals are good. Like @DippyDuck19 im terrified of the tearing, forceps, bleeding, having to have an emergency caesarean unplanned as I’ll panic completely. Also (and this sounds ridiculous) but my other half had - and I’m not exaggerating- a GIANT head when he was a baby. Like pinky and the Brain proportions. 😂God help me (and poor soul) if baby has the same cranium. Thankfully it looks normal now but his baby photos are hysterical (we laugh at them together regularly at the moment I’m not that mean 😌) I also really like the idea of knowing when we’d have the caesarean (unless I went in to labour early) as I know lots of people find it really peaceful and calm, and that’s my jam. I may well man up closer down the road though!
My midwife at my booking appointment said the obstetrician would chat to me about potential birth plans at my appointment on the 10th and again later down the line. I shall report back.

Oh glad I’m not alone in wanting an Elective c-section. My understanding is if you say you want it for non-medical reasons you may have to go to some sort of birth fear clinic, but if after that you still want one you can request it and they’ll give it to you.

I have had 2 vaginal deliveries which were quick and simple no interventions or tearing, one was 7 hours and the other was 3 hours. So probably the “easiest” (note: NO birth is easy!) labours I know. But I was a teenager then and I think our bodies are just different at that age. My DD who I had age 38 ended up an emergency c-section, luckily it went quickly from contractions to being rushed in to theatre as they could see she was struggling in there.

For this one, I just don’t want to risk another emergency c-section, or any other complications. Everyone I know who’s had an elective c-section has had a positive experience. After the struggle we’ve had to conceive this one, it feels like our miracle baby and I can’t cope with the unknown of a natural labour on top of all the struggles we had to get here. I think with my age now over 40, previous c-section, and being an ivf baby I just want as simple a birth as possible.

Having said all that, if any of you do end up with vaginal births, get an epidural as @Edf said. Don’t listen to people who encourage women to deliver without pain relief. There is so much of that about, whole industries of positive birthing etc, which have lots of useful tips but are obsessed with avoiding pain relief. Having done it a few times now, just get all the pain relief!! Same as you would in any other painful situation!

Feels a bit early to be talking about this, as I still need to get through the NipT and 12 week scan, but it’s hard not to think ahead.