FET September Crew Thread #3

[GCS34]

Hi guys - filled up the other one, so moving us all here. Tag those I've missed!

@lowo21 @cb2805 @hopingforno2in2023 @Justkeepmoving1234 @Mrsmotts @Kirstysmbc @KG1244 @girljulian @TT82 @arm23 @Jellyfish1956 @asgirc @doughnut89 @Summerishere83 @CDiamond @73pheonix

@Lolly2507 oh darling I’m so sorry for you. I really am and I can relate so much to that scan and feeling. It really is the worst thing but you will fight this and beat it just be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve and feel the motions. Here if you want to chat or ask any questions. Looking back from the other side doesn’t make it easier but it does allow me closure and time to reflect so if I can help in any way, please let me know.

sending so much love to you and your partner.

on timelines, I had my surgery on weds 8th November, and I didn’t have a period as I had surgery, and I was ok the drugs prepping for my next FET on Fri 24th November.

@girljulian unfortunately it failed so it’s on to number #3 😢😞

Oh no @GCS34 i am sorry. But onwards and upwards to #3! Is it straight on with it? I had the 2 months of Zoladex as well to calm my adenomyosis in my uterus so we may end up the same time again if so!

I am so so sorry @Lolly2507 much love to you x

I am sorry @GCS34, I hope your next round is successful. Do you know when it will be?

I am getting nervous now things are getting closer. I really don’t want to see another negative.

@Lolly2507 I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. I hope that the hospital are being supportive in helping you to manage both physically and emotionally. I opted for surgical mgmt as this was the right choice for me, and I was able to start prep for my next frozen transfer on my first period after the initial bleed. I was very lucky that the following cycle was my successful one.

@GCS34 Sorry to hear this cycle wasn't successful. Do you have remaining embryos or will it be another fresh cycle?

@Hopingforno2in2023 So pleased things are moving forward for you. Hopefully this will be your lucky cycle. Is it another FET?

I'm all booked in for a donor embryo transfer with my next period so looking at transfer mid February. Unhelpfully my period this time arrived before my meds so couldn't go ahead in January.

It is my first FET @kirstysmbc, my failed one was fresh. I should be transferring week commencing 5th Feb so not far off you! Good luck with your donor embryo. Do you mind me asking how much it costs?

@Lolly2507 I also opted for surgical management and found that worked best for me too, as it was over with fast, I went to sleep and woke up and it was all over, and for me, the recovery (bleeding) was 2 days! I also got in for surgery 2 days after it was diagnosed as a MMC.

@kirstysmbc @Hopingforno2in2024 @girljulian Yeah it was a shitty result last week, but I expected it. I had bad vibes around the whole cycle. They basically put me on all the drugs under the sun, which messed with my head so much, and also caused fluid in the uterus which there was a tiny bit left at transfer. I had a consultation with the Medical Director at my clinic on Tuesday and he agreed with me that 'if it aint broke don't fix it' mentality in that the first round, on less drugs, did work -- we got pregnant, just miscarried, which wasn't the lining it was the embryo.

So, we have a scan on Thursday, and we're starting the HRT all being well on the day, building for transfer beginning of Feb (est. 1st, my birthday 😂🙈) and we have 3 left. This is number 3 we're going for now, so 2 remaining if this doesn't work.

@GCS34 @Hopingforno2in2023 @girljulian thanks everyone, that's helpful. I definitely am thinking about doing either medical or surgical management I couldn't possibly just 'wait and see' the not knowing when is brutal

Hospital couldn't get me in for a scan until Monday but they've just called with a cancellation for this afternoon I think she felt a bit sorry for me crying my eyes out. I felt very dramatic but I just can't help haven't stopped for about 16 hours straight now.

I'm nervous about the possibility of being one of the unlucky ones for surgical management especially as my whole journey so far I feel hopelessly unlucky so it seems like sods law I'll be the one.

It really is such a difficult decision to make and hormones and emotions are running so high right now. Even with a level head I'd struggle to know what was 'right' but I guess that's because I feel what's right is for me still to have a healthy pregnancy in my tummy 💔

@Hopingforno2in2023 I find the FET process so much easier on the body, so hopefully you will find the same.

My donor embryo transfer package is €2200, plus travel, accommodation and scans here - all in it's just below the price for an FET of my own embryo at my clinic here. And significantly cheaper than double donor IVF.

@GCS34 Hopefully going back to the same protocol will lead to another pregnancy. Good luck for Thursday

@kirstysmbc I always thought donor embryo's were WAY more expensive than that. Are you on a waiting list, or have you got priority as you've used donor sperm before? Are you going donor embryo this time, rather than your own eggs?

And thank you on the luck. I'm feeling a bit more positive for this one. I don't know why - I had bad ju ju vibes about the last one, so I don't know, it's nice to feel a bit more chilled going into this. I know that I WILL get pregnant, it's just when not if, it's just managing that expectation element with it isn't it? Also, the crazy high drugs of the last one messed with my head so much and I think I was borderline depressed. Mental drugs can do that. Literally.

@Lolly2507 whatever you decide to do, it's right for you and no one will tell you otherwise, it's what feels best. @girljulian had the medicated so maybe give you some advice. For me with Surgical, I didn't want to deal with the physical side of passing anything, which is why I went for that.

In terms of negatives on the surgical, do you mean if they don't manage to remove everything, or if they damage / leave scarring?

My medical management was a bit strange so I'm not sure I'm best placed to advise -- but basically, I seem to have passed everything as a few clots (no actual bleeding) after pill 1. You're not meant to pass anything at all until after pill 2! And I was waiting for a big bleed but in the event I had no bleed at all. Just some clots came out and that was it. Utterly painless, but I understand that in having no bleeding I was extremely unusual.

@GCS34 ive just been to the hospital and they explained that the medical management may not immediately work due to progesterone so that's put me off a bit.

They could book me in for Monday/Tuesday for the surgical management so I'm leaning towards that now I think.

Clinic then won't do a consultation even to discuss my next steps until 24th Jan so that's frustrating as I'm a planner. It is what it is I guess

@Lolly2507 I'm not going to sway you either way, but the reason surgical appealed more to me was due to the fact that a) it was faster -- I was in 2 days later, and for you it could be in 3 days time, b) the recovery was fast. Max 2 weeks of spotting, but as I say, I was only spotting for 2 days. I woke up in blood don't get me wrong, but I actually stopped bleeding before I left the hospital that day, and just a few bits of spots the following day or two, and c) I didn't want to deal with the physical aspect as I was struggling mentally like you, so I thought if I don't have to deal physically with it, that's one less thing I need to worry or think about.

But as I say, this is completely your choice and what you feel is better for your and your wellbeing. For what it is worth, I had a scan at my clinic 12 days after my op, and they saw that everything was fine, everything had gone, and their were no lesions or scaring left behind, and was given the green light to go again if we were ready. Which we did.

24th Jan isn't too long away, and isn't too far off what we did. 2 weeks after the surgery (if you did that route).

@GCS34 thank you, I think I feel exactly like you did and want to gain back some control when I feel out of control so I am 90% sure I'll opt for surgery