FET/IVF July 2023 - Thread 3

[Olivia199]

As always, huge apologies if I miss people, all welcome!

@IVFfirsttimer91
@10degreessunny
@wtawtaw
@EllieCatMom
@DauntedAF
@Lauralozzle
@Walker12
@loulamay
@beehappy19
@SH998
@ASGIRC
@orchid29
@IVFround1
@Sangels267

Almost everyone knows my side for the pure reason that I couldn't hide it at work what with the hyperemesis (and wouldn't want to due to nature of my role). It's fairly obvious when I'm throwing up every half hour and yet not going off sick with a D&V bug!

My mum and brother knew anyway as they supported me with my DD through treatment with childcare etc. Then similarly with friends it's been hard to hide what with being so rough, and I've needed their support!

I'm absolutely terrified but definitely of the opinion that now is time to celebrate every small win - the positive test, the darkening tests, the bHCG, the symptoms, the scan - So much can go wrong but if it does I don't want to feel like I've felt only negative about whatever brief life this baby had during this pregnancy. Though it doesn't stop that overwhelming worry, I do enjoy getting excited here and there and trying to think positively. Though I also wonder if I need the positive "it'll be worth it" thoughts to get through the sickness!

I had baby snugs with my friends new little girl the other day and positively melted at the prospect of doing it all again!

I have never announced on Facebook, I don't use it like that to be honest. It's more a place I go for support groups/advice groups for things like milk allergies, potty training, FET etc.

My first midwife appointment is on the 30th so that's exciting. For us they like to be notified by 6 weeks as they have to book in the first appt at 8-9 weeks and then refer for the scan which can take a couple weeks to come through. Though I guess that's more because of the demand being high so needing to book further in advance!

How do you register with the midwife? I thought I was supposed to call my GP and they would sort it out.

Oh, I have no intention to announce it on social media. Ever! I will tell my close friends and family, that's it. The rest of the world will probably know it if it will ever be born 😁

@Charming81 I phoned my doctors and they gave me the number for the local maternity unit to call and register with them. They booked my booking appointment over the phone when I spoke to them 🙂

For me it is not that difficult to keep it a secret because both our families are in Italy (and also lots of friends). So we only told the people we see on a regular basis.

I like this way of thinking. I should be more positive. Even because, if it doesn't go well, being negative won't make it less disappointing I guess.

Yeah, that's a very different situation.

I have dinner with my extended family almost every week! (we're a very close family), so it would be impossible for me to hide it from them.

And I have lots of close enough friends on social media that I wouldn't be texting with the news. So a sociao media announcement is definitely on the cards,as I only really keep people I like on it.

@Charming81 - That's how I'm sort of approaching it. Also because I felt a bit like my constant negative attitude and fear the first time round sort of ruined it for myself?
Figured this time I'd try to not let that fear take away the happiness that right now, I'm pregnant and that's awesome. That way if it goes wrong I feel like I've not wasted the happy moments I could have had and if it goes right I don't feel like I've ruined this time for myself.

Figured I'd be absolutely heartbroken either way if it goes wrong so for now I'll try and enjoy myself? That's the logic anyway. 😂

@Charming81 you can call your GP and ask for a booking appointment with the midwife but I done mine online.

I typed in midwife services in my area and it brings up the local NHS form for my area, add your details and submit. They say they will contact me within a week or so.

Reason I done it this way is I live in a very small, clicky (gossipy) village and although GP staff are suppose to be confidential I know there’s a chance it will get out. I wouldn’t want my dad or brothers hearing about my pregnancy from pub gossip before I’ve had the chance to tell them face to face at 12 weeks

@ASGIRC I will be putting it on my social media too, at 12 weeks probably. Ive got lots of friends close enough that I speak regularly to through Instagram, and I don’t want to send out a mass text 😂 I get enough texts from my family and work to keep on top of.

@IVFfirsttimer91 hahaah so true!
Also, I lived in the UK for almost 15 years, and have loads of friends there. Some are not friends I would text on a regular basis, but I'd like them to know about it.

And I use social media in that way, particularly FB, with semi regular updates about what I'm up to, so it makes perfect sense!

I like the positive approach to it as well.
There's no point in dwelling on the worst.
That's not who I am, anyway.
Sure, I get nervous and anxious, and might think things will go wrong, but I also want to enjoy all of it.
I feel bad enough that I am not ecstatic, as it doesn't feel like it's real.
So I'm enjoying what I can, how I can. And I can't wait to tell some more people, after the next scan!

@ASGIRC it makes sense to me too :) and I think that when I do put it on Instagram it will be affirming for me and make it feel more real and as you say, allow me to focus on the positive things about pregnancy (and just be happy that I really am having a baby!)

@IVFfirsttimer91 I've just had my booking appointment with the midwife (got a big orange folder 😁) and they said I need to take aspirin from 12-16 weeks, never heard that before. Did you get told that? I've no history of blood clotting or things like that 🤔

@IVFfirsttimer91 to add to that, they've done it because it's my first pregnancy and it's an ivf pregnancy. Just not heard anyone say that before

@wtawtaw oooh orange folder!!! Cool! How did the appointment go?! I’ve been taking asprin from when i started the 2ww. My clinic advised it. I just sort of assumed everyone was taking it!!

Is anyone else taking asprin too?

@wtawtaw @IVFfirsttimer91 why do you need to take aspirin? I know it’s to prevent blood clots but does an ivf pregnancy put you at higher risk or something? It’s never been mentioned to me (so far)

@IVFfirsttimer91 Nope, just the progesterone.

@wtawtaw id actually query it with your clinic... Or even with the midwife. IVF pregnancies or 1st pregnancies dont need aspirin as a standard, from what I understand.

@IVFfirsttimer91 ooooo are you? How long do you have to take the aspirin for? I've never had it mentioned to me before tonight. I know some people take it to reduce risk of miscarriage. Do you know why the recommend you taking it?

Appt went well thank you ☺️, I think my husband felt a bit left out when I had to take tests such as the carbon monoxide test - he asked if he can have a go too 😂

Booked my 16 week appt, but got to wait for my 12 week scan date in the post, how long did you letter take to come?! I'm so impatient 😅

@wtawtaw - How exciting!! I got a purple folder last time and I'm anxiously awaiting to find out if they've changed to badger online notes yet or whether I get another folder to squeal over. 😂
I've not had aspirin either last time or this time. I know there's a huge difference as to whether they consider IVF a high risk pregnancy or not. For me it wasn't at all and I was midwife led until the end. For others I know it has been consultant led from the start.

@beehappy19 they said I need to take it from 12 weeks as it's my first pregnancy and it's an IVF one. I think it's to prevent blood clots and pre eclampsia.

@ASGIRC I'll definitely check with my clinic when I go for my scan next week!

@Olivia199 love how we get excited over these folders 😂 yeah she said I'm considered a high risk case (ivf, age 36 and first pregnancy) she just said it means I have extra appointment and two extra scans to see baby at 28 and 34 weeks so I can't really complain!

@wtawtaw extra scans are great!!
I only have my GP appointment (no midwives here, though I expect the doctor will be an OB and not just a GP, but I dont actually know) on the 12th of September, I'll be nearly 11 weeks! They didn't have any earlier appointments.

My 12 week scan will be at 12+4, and I've had to book it privately, as everywhere that does it on the NHS (our system is also an NHS) was fully booked until October..

It all feels very far away!!!

@beehappy19 i think it’s to reduce clots, but yeah, I have to take one every day! They even put it on my medication schedule on the salve app! I thought it was standard across all clinics for ivf!!

@wtawtaw I think I have to take it up until 13 weeks, but now I’m going to query it with the clinic as I don’t remember what was said initially 😂 memory like a sieve. My letter came before my first midwife appointment was arranged. It was sent out super quickly to me both times honestly. I think I received it within 5 days of registering with QE hospital. Hopefully yours won’t take long to come! Mine has been taunting me on the fridge for at least a month 😂

I will switch from heparin to aspirin, but because I had an open heart surgery 3 years ago.