Secondary Infertility

[greeneyes85]

I appreciate this is an infertility forum and feel incredibly lucky to have my DD. I'm currently struggling with secondary infertility and was wondering if anyone else was experiencing the same? I'm feeling a little lost at the moment 😔.

I missed my window to start ivf this month so should be starting roughly Feb 8th! So noting new with me! @FETmum did you get the results from your embryos?? X

@Cloclo93 ooo exciting! At least you have a set plan and date. Yes after the 8 got tested, thankfully 6 came back normal. AF next week so need to book in for a Saline scan (never had one before). If that goes well it FET next month with injections & patches. This is all a new protocol for me.

I wasn't expecting the saline scan at all, just wanted to get started!! Will you get your embryos tested?

Anyway, here's to our BFP's 2024 xx

@FETmum that's fantastic 6 normal! So you will transfer 1 or 2 embryos? Are these all day 5 embryos? My AF is next week too do you know when you will be doing the embryo transfer ? I'm so excited and nervous, is the saline scan similar to a hycosy?
I havnt been asked if I wanted to test any embryos I'm not too sure how many I will get as I've a very low AMH I think ivf can be hit or miss with low amh they have discussed a back up plan if I'm not responding well 🤔 xx

@Cloclo93 hi there, all the tested embryos were day 5's and I also have two (untested) day 6's frozen. Could only afford to get 8 tested. The constant has advised to only transfer one which we are fine with. AF showed up yesterday so I've booked my nurses appointment for next week to discuss treatment. I have had a HyCosy test last year & I hated it! I have asked whether or not the saline scan is compulsory as I'd rather not. Failing that I can provide previous HyCosy results.

Have you got your medication ready to start next month? I bet that will fly by! I have everything crossed for you.

@Clocloxx how are you getting on with your journey?

Hi. I hope I’m ok to join, I’ve never actually commented on mumsnet before! I’m not familiar with all the acronyms either so bear with me..

I’m 33 and have also been struggling with secondary infertility. We’ve got a 5 year old who was conceived naturally, and I appreciate we’re incredibly lucky to have. After trying for our second for 2 and a half years we decided to contact the GP. My initial bloods revealed that I didn’t have any Rubella immunity (despite having my MMR vaccinations as a child!) so I was advised to stop trying, have my vaccination and then wait a further 3 months before continuing. This had to be done before a referral to the fertility clinic could be made. I’ve had my vaccine now and I’m waiting for the 3 months to be up to try again. Unfortunately, my cycle day 21 bloods showed that my progesterone levels were low as well and I’ve had to redo these to see if it’s still low, I’m waiting for the results from the second blood test. We’re also waiting for my husband’s sperm sample results and then we should be referred to the fertility clinic. I’m not sure if they will be able to help at the fertility clinic, we can’t really afford IVF.

I completely empathise with all of you who are struggling right now. All of my friends have had their second and some third children during the time that we’ve been trying, as have my siblings, and it’s been really hard to deal with. No matter how happy I am for them all I’m still so sad for us. I can’t seem to escape pregnant people at the minute and I find pregnant people the hardest to be around.

Good luck to everyone on here. I’m hoping I see some good news to keep me going! Xx

@FETmum when will you be doing the transfer? It's so great you have some eggs in the freezer! I've asked my clinic about embryo testing and they don't actually do it!
I've got a rough time line of my medication etc I'll be starting Fematab day 21 (February 8th) for a week before I start simulations all going well egg collection February 28th and transfer 5 days later! I'm praying everything goes to plan its so nerve racking isn't! Did you take Fematab? I'm not sure what it's actually for or if it will make me loopy lol

@RedRedRobin1 welcome! We all know the need for a second child! It can be so difficult watching all your friends falling pregnant so easily while your struggling and going ture so my fertility tests, I have a 5 year old little girl too and been ttc over 2 years had so many tests etc all good so we finally decided to bite the bullet and take a loan out for IVF! I did I have my AMH tested which was very low at 3! I'm only 31 so way to low for my age. Are you in the UK or Ireland?

Hi @Cloclo93! it’s so nice to talk to someone who understands!
I’m in the UK. I’m pleased that we’re being referred to the fertility clinic to (hopefully) get some answers but I’m also worried how I’m going to feel if there’s a reason for our infertility or even if there doesn’t seem to be a reason. It’s an emotional rollercoaster!

Did you (or anyone else?) try any medication before going for IVF? Theres a chance I might not be ovulating because my progesterone levels were ‘abnormal’.

Good luck with your IVF, I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for you 🤞🏻!! If we get told that IVF is our only option then maybe we’ll look into the costs, it seems quite out of reach at the minute. I know that the work they do, and what they achieve, is amazing but the price just seems so high. It feels cruel when we’re all so desperate for another child! Xx

@RedRedRobin1 welcome! We also have a 4.5 year old DD but with ivf too, after two years of trying & pcos. Thankfully it worked first time. Have you considered letrozole or clomid? Those should help you ovulate depending on what your GP suggests they might refer you to see a GYNO. It's such a journey! We also have had our close friends announce their second, of course happy for them but have our own struggles. Also look at "Alpha Inoflic" supplement that helped us, saying that it's for pcos.

@Cloclo93 I had injections every morning with a pen, cannot remember the name. Followed by another injection that felt like a bee sting that was to stop ovulation. How exciting for a fresh transfer!! I bet you're buzzing to get started. We speak to the nurse on Tuesday to get all the medication sorted for FET on next AF. Due around valentines. So looking like FET end of Feb. It's the waiting that is killing me, my mood is up and down atm. Trying to be positive. I do have a 40th celebration coming up so at least I can drink.

Keep us all updated ladies and here's to a more positive week! Xx

Hi ladies

can I join this thread?

have a DD who is 6, been TTC for baby number 2 for 2.5 years. Sending everyone a big hug - completely agree with feeling so low especially seeing everyone around me pregnant and my friends and siblings planning their third babies…. Very happy for them but feeling sad for us.

in the process of finding the cause of the delay I found out I have hypothyroidism and low progesterone - same as yourself @RedRedRobin1. Unfortunately there’s very little help from my GP on this side of things - they referred me to gynaecology but I’m not entitled to IVF and have been waiting for next steps after initial tests for more than 7 months now. Unsure whether I actually ovulate! All my OPKs are positive but that doesn’t actually mean ovulation it just means a LH surge. I tried the proov at home progesterone tests and they solidified my belief that I had low progesterone (including the fact that I spot for more than 6-7 days before my actual period most cycles). The day 21 test shows a normal progesterone level but proov test showed that it drops pretty quickly after day 21 so my lining starts to shed straight away.

I did try letrozole for 3 cycles with create but they didn’t work. I then proceeded to IVF and am currently doing a 3 cycle ivf package with them.

sending everyone lots of love and hugs 🤗

Hi @FETmum! Oh wow, you have been on a real journey! It took us a while first time round, we tried for a year and three months. We then booked a GP appointment but the first available (non emergency) one was a six week wait. I found out I was pregnant a week before and ended up cancelling the appointment! Unfortunately I didn’t have the same luck second time round! I’ve just googled Letrozole and Clomid, maybe that would work.. I’m guessing it would have to be the fertility clinic who prescribes it?? Rather than the GP?? I’m going to contact the GP again this week to find out the results of our latest tests. I’m going to see if she’ll refer us before our 3 month wait is up otherwise things are just going to get delayed further! Xx

Hi @CoffeePlease2024! Sorry to hear about the struggles you’ve had and your low progesterone, I know how frustrating it feels! Good luck with your IVF though! Keep us updated with how you’re getting on please 😊 xx

Welcome @CoffeePlease2024 we were with create and successful with our DD with the St Paul's branch. Very good clinic, we changed clinics recently as I wanted to try a different protocol and so far so good. Let's us know when you start the injections?

@RedRedRobin1 yes your GP would have to assign you to a gynaecologist who would probably give you a scan. They'd either suggest clomid or letrozole so I would definitely follow up with the GP as those type of appointments take ages! Failing that you could always see someone privately.

I've been in bed all day with a terrible cold (whilst wfh). Tomorrow marks a call with the nurse to discuss the frozen transfer which could not come quick enough! I don't want to wish my life away but that is what ivf feels like.

Here's to our babies getting siblings this year! Xx

@FETmum Thanks, that’s good to know. I’ll call the GP tomorrow to see if I can get an appointment.

Oh nooo, I hope you’re feeling better soon and I hope the call goes ok!

Fingers crossed xx

Hi everyone! We contacted the GP again and she said that my day 21 progesterone test was ok this month and my DH’s sperm sample was normal as well. She’s sending all the information with our referral to the fertility clinic. I had a bit of a moment after though, I felt so sad that on the one month that I probably ovulated (at the time I expected ovulation) and my DH’s sperm sample was normal, we would’ve actually had a chance of conception if it wasn’t for the fact that I’ve got a live rubella vaccine in me and have been banned from ttc! I know that having the vaccine was the right thing to do, especially after researching what rubella can do to an unborn baby and the lifelong effect it has on them and I know it was all good news that we received but I couldn’t help but feel sad for the missed opportunity.

Also (whilst I’m in a ranting kind of mood!) I’ve known for a long time that I’ve been distancing myself from all my friends. They all had one child/baby each when we started ttc our second but since then they’ve all had their second and some are onto their third pregnancy. Most of them quite proudly announced how quickly they’d conceived. Now I find myself actively avoiding them. I dread them texting me to ask if we can meet up. I’ve been quite open about our struggles this time around but I don’t think they understand. It certainly hasn’t made the baby announcements any less insensitive! One friend even said that she was sure we could do it because we’ve got DS, we just need to “try harder for him” whilst cuddling her new born (second child) and asking my DS if he’d like a brother/sister 🙄!! I know that they’re just in their own happy bubble and I should be happy for them as well, I probably sound bitter and jealous but that’s because I am and I hate the person I’m becoming. I can’t even ask them to go out for dinner without the kids because they’re all breastfeeding. I’ve realised that, other than work colleagues or the occasional chat on the school run, I only speak to my DS, DH, and my parents & in-laws. It’s like they’re my safe people - safe from the risk of them dropping a baby bomb or being insensitive/upsetting me. Does that make sense? Does anyone else feel like this? I do appreciate that my journey hasn’t been as difficult or heartbreaking as some others, and I’m thankful for that, but we’re still without a second child that we desperately want.
Next month marks three years ttc 😔 (minus the past two months that we’ve been told not to).

Sorry for such a long post! How are you all getting on? Xx

Hi, everyone. What a journey, eh? We've been trying for our third for six years in March. It's been so long since my children are now teenagers! We had a pregnancy scare, but it turned out I had cysts on my ovaries. At the time, I was 34, but we always wanted four kids and were in a good place, so we went for it to no avail for two years.

Doctors told us it was in our heads to keep trying; we already had two. It might just take longer, but they ran some tests on the NHS, confirmed male factor infertility and said to try IVF with ICSI. COVID hit, and we didn't. We didn't have the money to proceed, and emotionally, I wasn't ready for IVF. Having my fingers crossed, it would happen naturally. I turned 41 last October, and nothing happened naturally, so we sought private tests this time. AMH, Ultrasound and Sperm test.

It turns out I now have an ultralow ovarian reserve (3 follicles found), and while my husband has a low count and some non-progressive factors, his wasn't that bad. He would need IVF; however, conventional IVF isn't an option with how low my reserve is. I'm still ovulating and having regular periods, but not much longer. So, I was a bit emotional to learn that our chances without a donor egg are slim. The clinic we used said we have options of adoption or egg donors, considering my age and reserve. He didn't think it was fair to offer IVF as it would probably give us false hope. I guess because we had two, he assumed we were worried about being empty nesters in a few years. We're not! We always wanted four! This isn't something we are taking lightly. We would settle for three, and if this all fails, we know we tried, right?

We are seeking a second opinion and hoping to proceed with mild IVF or natural IVF. It's such a minefield. I feel gutted that we have hit this roadblock, as I don't feel old. I am still processing what comes next. To add to our woes, my brother had an 'accidental' baby girl last week, so that hasn't helped emotionally.

I am wishing you all the support right now.

Welcome to the newbies, it's nice to share a similar journey of all wanting a second child.

@RedRedRobin1 when can you officially start ttc again? I know what you mean about distancing your friends who are all onto seconds and thirds. It's totally understandable. My closest friend is finding out her babies gender today!! Having her second. I am happy for her but also today a whole box of ivf drugs turned up. Feel like I am living a secret life and it's true I am as I haven't told any family. Preparing for our frozen transfer in two weeks.

@alittlebitsocial wishing you all the very best of your journey! Please keep us posted as things progress.

Fingers crossed for everyone, the good news is that January is nearly over it's been the longest month. Xx

@alittlebitsocial Sorry to hear about the struggles you’ve had and the “accidental” ones are the worst 😔!! Let us know how you get on with the second opinion.

@FETmum Oh wow!! Not long to wait now 😊🤞🏻. How are you feeling about it all?
We have to wait until April. I’ve been researching the Inofolic Alpha you mentioned, think I might give that a go next time.
I’m also glad that January is nearly over, it’s been such a long month!!

@RedRedRobin1 it's such a roller coaster isn't it! I'm testing ovulation so I can at least predict when the AF turns up. Hoping it's positive in a few days. There's a tv show which I found interesting recently by Alex Jones: Making Babies. It was mostly couples going through ivf but ultimately it's about infertility, worth a watch.

Sending strength and positivity 💫

Hi Everyone, can I jump in and join you?

I have a 3 year old daughter. One mc before her and three since - all early. Having some testing done privately because the wait where we are is a year.

Feeling really lonely and isolated. All of her friends have at least one sibling now. She’s recently started asking for “a baby.” My ability to cope is dropping rapidly and hoping to find some people who get it 🤞🏻

Hey! I get it. Been trying to conceive a second for 9 months now and my son is 2. He was IVF so we do have known issues but had a miscarriage in October. I felt so elated seeing a positive test and working out my son would be 2 and a half when baby was born. But then started to bleed about 5 weeks pregnant. It's crushing. It so hard. My cousins just had a baby and my friend has just announced she's pregnant (both conceived very fast). It just feels like every body else finds it so easy.
Stay strong ❤️ we will get there and you have to have hope. X

Most definitely of course you can join, everyone welcome! We all can understand how everyone is feeling, it's utterly crap! I'm still not getting that positive ovulation test I'm on day 19 so I thought sod it im eating the cake today, it was delicious 😆.

I know we are lucky to be in a position to transfer in a few weeks once AF starts but honestly it's the waiting that is driving me nuts. Wishing everyone all the luck in the world, may 2024 be our year!

@FETmum we could be doing transfers around the same time! ( providing I get some embryos 🤞🤞) starting Fematab on the 8th roughly week before my peroid x

Thank you everyone.

It's such a rough ride isn't it. This week is a due date for me. On the advice of my therapist I've taken an afternoon to do something for myself so I'm cuddled up with crap TV and some embroidery.

Sending so much love to you all doing IVF and transfers, the admin alone sounds completely overwhelming nevermind the physical and emotional effects.

Omg same! I'm day 18 and no positive OPK yet and I ovulated day 14 last month! I usually ovulate day 17/18.
Missing the window if ovulation doesn't happen soon as well because partner has a semen analysis on 5th so no sex for a few days before it!!
Let's hope I ovulate tomorrow 😂
If not we just going to have to give this month a miss. Which i find frustrating because I'll know there's not even a chance.

@sallywinter that sounds like a perfect day to me, hope you had the yummy snacks too! Wishing you all the strength, you've got this.

@Elisabeth3468 just DTD anyway a few days before the 5th so I'm guessing that would be today. I got my dates wrong by a day I'm CD20 and need a positive today it's driving me nuts.

@Cloclo93 imagine if we transfer at the same time, keep us posted. I'm off to the clinic today for a thyroid blood test, so many tests & paperwork ahead of this transfer.

Sending positivity!

@FETmum I went to pick up some of the medication yesterday just thought I'd be going home with a little box of tablets! They came out with 2 huge bags of medications I got such a shock 😂 never knew there was so much, I said I gotta go home and empty my fridge! Keep me updated when you know your transfer date ☺️

@sallywinter I know it always breaks my heart watching my little girl playing by herself when I know so many have siblings too play with! But also cherish this time to play with your DD because you will have a second child and your time will be taken up! I also know mothers who said they felt so guilty having a second child so soon because they couldn't dedicate all there time to there 1st child xx