Secondary Infertility

[greeneyes85]

I appreciate this is an infertility forum and feel incredibly lucky to have my DD. I'm currently struggling with secondary infertility and was wondering if anyone else was experiencing the same? I'm feeling a little lost at the moment 😔.

Hi. I am but it’s for a third baby. Been trying for over two years now. We’ve recently found out it’s due to male factor infertility. I’ve really really struggled mentally throughout the last two years but we’re not going to do IVF and I can say the pain has lessened over the last few months. At least, I’m not crying every day anymore but obviously there’s still a deep sadness at not being able to complete our family in the way we have envisaged.

have you had tests done etc? I have found I’ve only been able to begin to move on after we’ve had a diagnosis and made the decision not to do ivf.

it sounds like you are still mid journey whereas I am at the end now x

I am really sorry to hear how you’re feeling @greeneyes85 It’s a tough realisation. For us, we spent three years naturally TTC a second child. Then we tried clomid for 6 months which had no effect and moved onto IVF. In our case, the IVF journey was a lot less painful then the naturally TTC/clomid journey but I appreciate we could have just got very lucky. The clinic did say you have a better chance of success if you’ve had a live birth before though.

Our first cycle was a positive but early miscarriage. Despite the heartache, I was very glad to know that I could get pregnant. Our second cycle thankfully was successful. Infertility is a really hard journey and there is no right answer. You may decide you don’t want to go through IVF like @Anonbaby and I think it takes a lot of guts to end the journey when your heart wants to continue. For us, I had always pictured my son having a sibling and had desperately wanted that for myself (being an only child) so I just had to try IVF. One thing I would say was it got easier coming to terms with not having another over time and knowing we were doing IVF really helped immensely personally. When our first cycle failed, in my mind we were doing the second cycle to tick a box and to say I’d 💯 tried, DH was always neutral about having a second, he was happy either way which also took the pressure off.

Good luck with what you decide, if you haven’t had a fertility work-up yet I’d suggest that as a first step including a hycosy/HCG to check your tubes, progesterone level check, sperm analysis etc. We found the NHS treatment path for secondary infertility an absolute nightmare. We just felt completely and utterly alone and lost. Appointments took months, and often when I cried and would say is there anything you can do? The answer was just pay privately for IVF. It’s a hard pill to swallow but ultimately it was our only choice to conceive a second. Do please PM if you have any more questions.

Hello, I'm the same I have a 4 year old and have since had 3 natural miscarriages and 1 failed IVF transfer. My levels are good for my age and husband no issues. I am 40 so probably age factor as all the tests haven't shown anything up.

I'm currently mid way through my second IVF cycle which so far has gone better than the first which was a complete disaster. Crossing everything this one works.

Hi op, I have a 5 year old and have been trying for around 3 years for a second little one.
I have PCOS and was given metformin, I actually conceived a month after starting to take this but sadly lost the pregnancy very early on aroun 7 weeks ago and now just praying another miracle happens
we have had our first appointment at the fertility clinic but I need to lose 10lbs to be able to then pay for treatment but I really struggle to lose weight with the PCOS, feel like I’ve tried everything
feeling very disheartened with it all at the moment but hopefully our time will come and we will all get that BFP!

Yes we're in the same boat! So lucky with our DD who was conceived via IVF and would love another. We had a fresh cycle ivf at Christmas which disappointedly didn't work. Previous to that we had two frozen transfers last year (embryos from 2019) and one did stick but ended in MC and the other unsuccessful.

We are currently on our 5th round of Letrozole, no such luck so far but we promised ourselves to DTD like mad to cover all bases. I have pcos so praying for a miracle & really don't fancy paying for ivf again. Currently in the TWW.

Yeah I am, I have a 4 year already but been trying 2 years for another, so many tests done all seems good, it's just unexplained. I know how crushing it is month after month of negatives and your friends all having babies. Its difficult

@Clocloxx tell me about it, friends announcing second pregnancies it's just hard af! But we can't give up the hope. I'd love my DD to have a sibling it would be the best blessing ever.

Onto the 6th round of Letrozole I go, 😭

We are in the same situation - 3 years after first son was born. We also decided that we will not go through IVF, but are trying IUI as a less invasive process. Currently in TWW after first round of IUI but I am much more anxious and nervous than I thought I would be. Next few days we will know if it worked!

@bstrong0805 goodluck! That 2ww is so nail biting I drive myself crazy with symptom spotting, have you taken any early tests yet?

Yes I am. We have a 5 yo and have been ttc for 3.5 years. Found out husband has a varicocele and been told ivf is our best chance of another baby. We have an appointment this week in a private clinic to speak to doctor. This is actually our second time going to a clinic, as our first time i was told my bmi was far too high and there was no point doing anything with me. I was so embarrassed and devastated. My bmi would be on the higher side and have now found this other clinic that accepts this. But am border line. Keeping a tight eye on my weight before the appointment and praying we can go ahead. Bmi is such an unfair thing. It's my husband that has the issue, not me and I've already had a healthy child normally with no treatment (with my husband). Secondary infertility is very hard. People just assume as you have 1 then others will follow and think its OK to make remarks on this. Feeling very disheartened like previous posters but really want a sibling for my child and very grateful for the chance of ivf.

Out this month ! On to the next ??!! Or is it ever going to happen ?!! Questioning myself today.,

@bstrong0805 join the club! I'm on my 6th round of Letrozole but this time monitored and extended medication. If this doesn't work moving onto gonal f jabs monitored ovulation. Fingers crossed guys for our second.

Hi there @LittleDoveLove , do you mind me asking if they tested your first embryos? I am 43 in August and we did one round of IVF and got one genetically normal embryo.
I am now in medical menopause as have Adeno but I am still thinking if I should do another round to try for another embryo. The Doc does not seem to think it is worthwhile and suggests donor.

I keep thinking my breast implants could possibly be related to my secondary infertility! We just have unexplained infertility but I seem to have a very high white blood cell count like I've inflammation in my body, I've made to choice to remove them next month.. anyone heard any stories about women suffering infertility after breast implants? 🤔

How's everyone getting on the second time round? Still no BFP for us unfortunately. I recently had a AMH blood test done & still waiting for the results apparently it takes a few weeks on the NHS. Still in two minds whether or not we should do ivf again. Emotionally draining!

Hi @FETmum . We finally did our transfer and it was not successful. So exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally!
My AMH was low but good for 43year old . WE are going to try naturally for three months, i need a break from all those meds. Gosh it has been a lot! Had a period and now waiting to Ovulate, using ovulation sticks but still nothing . CD10

Hi all - no good news this end so far - 4th IUI cycle and second with letrozole. Everything seems normal - all the tests for me and my husband so really don’t know what to do ! After this month we might take a break till Christmas and get back to this in January.

We are, too, and it just feels so lonely, doesn’t it? I feel like a fraud on this forum as we have a child already; and I’ve several friends who’ve been struggling going on 10 years for their first, so I’d feel selfish talking about our very different, much shorter struggle.

Hi @praying4babba so sorry I didn't get any notifications to reply.
I didn't check any of mine no. My second cycle was a success. I had another failed transfer but I didn't transfer one of my best one as my lining was 7mm so I didn't expect that to work. I asked for help to get my lining thicker and am now 14 weeks pregnant with my third transfer (First FET) and have a 4AA and 4AB still frozen x

@LittleDoveLove that’s amazing congratulations!! We only had one to transfer which was PGT testsd . Still waiting to ovulate cd lost count

Yeah some times I feel resentful of my friends announcing there pregnancys in the 2 years of trying 4 of my friends have had babies and 2 are currently pregnant! One even called her daughter the name I said I wanted to call if I've another Little girl! Didn't know how to act to that one!
Me and my partner may do our 1st iui next month or in december

Nothing happened for the last 2,5 years or more. Considering DE route now. I’m 43.

@praying4babba good luck 😊🤞x

Having a bit of a crisis at the mo - any support or advice would be very welcome. We've been trying to conceive number 2 for 2 years. Our little girl will be 3 in a couple of months and was conceived naturally with just a few months of trying. Fast forward to now and it's been month after month of heartbreak, with not even a hint of any sort of pregnancy. We spoke to a fertility clinic after 1 year and was put forward for IVF with very little investigation elsewhere. We've just finished our 2nd round which has been another absolute waste of time, effort, anxiety and money with once again very few eggs collected and big fat zero fertilisation. We can't afford any more rounds, and even if we could it would probably be a waste of time anyway.

I'm surrounded by new babies and pregnancy, struggling to be happy for people and wondering what has gone so terribly wrong, or what have I done wrong. My partner and I are devastated that this could be the end of the road, and I'm struggling to face the fact that there is no hope left.

I'm 37, amh 10 and no other known issue other than disappointingly poor responder to IVF stimulation. They even tried icsi this time round to up our chances but nothing fertilised still.

We have a follow up appointment with the consultant in a week but I want answers, not just for him to say 'have another go'. What investigations have people had? Any surprise results that have explained things that I am missing?

Feeling so confused, disheartened and miserable.

@Justkeepswimming1234 We’ve done blood tests, sperm analysis and transvaginal ultrasound as initial tests. I had a HyCosy (to check tubes are open) done this week as an extra and DH will get a DNA fragmentation done. Those are all the tests that I’m aware we can have before moving on to IVF. I’m 34 and thus far unexplained secondary infertility.