TTC no.2 after successful IVF for no.1

[Chocoholic85]

Hi,
I’m just after some advice and to see whether anyone is in the same boat!
Just found out that my 3rd FET failed.
We are very lucky to have DD who came from our first fresh transfer. We were also very fortunate to get 5 frozen embryos from that round so have been trying for a sibling. 1st FET was BFN, 2nd was a chemical pregnancy/early miscarriage and 3rd now is failed. Down to the last two and starting to feel the pressure and also wondering why on earth it isn’t working?!
We have unexplained infertility so nothing was ever found with our initial tests and I was 34 when we had out first IVF round so odds were in our favour. I read somewhere that at 34 around 50% of embryos are abnormal so I guess out our 6 maybe the last 3 were all abnormal. I’m also worried something has changed since I had to have a csection for DD. I did have an ultrasound which showed the scar had healed fine and there no niches, I’m wondering if there are adhesions that might not have been seen on the ultrasound though.
Would love to hear any advice for what to do next or from anyone else in a similar position. Thanks x

Hi girls
Trying to catch up but a lot to read. Would anyone prefer a whats app group x

Thanks so much @Eggling Wow, Friday 😊 That’s great that it’s happening so soon and I hope you get everything sorted with childcare. I know just what you mean - I’m trying to protect my heart and thinking ahead to what we’ll do next if it hasn’t worked, but then I worry I’m not being positive enough 🤦‍♀️ There’s no answer!
I went to a playgroup yesterday with two friends that I made when our DS was a baby and one of them announced she was pregnant. I actually did feel genuinely happy for her, which was a relief as I didn’t want to seem that I wasn’t. I’ve kind of been expecting it tbh every time I’ve seen her recently. I did come away feeling a bit low about this transfer through - like it would just be too good to be true if we were both pregnant 🫤
I’m trying to look at it as a process and just think that we’ll keep going if this doesn’t work. I’m just really praying that it’s a matter of finding the right embryo and that there’s nothing wrong inside me that they haven’t identified.

@swirls I think tbh I prefer to chat on here. As is probably obvious, I don’t think I could edit myself enough for a WhatsApp 🤦‍♀️😂
But obviously I won’t mind if everyone else wants to go ahead with it x

So exciting @Eggling ! Hope you got yourself sorted out so DH could come too.

@KLM25 embaby on board! Let us know if you cave and test haha - I am a CHRONIC early tester so zero judgment from me hee hee.

We heard yesterday that 10 embryos have fertilised which is excellent. Get another report on day 3 so just in the waiting game now! We are doing PGT-A testing given my age, so we are not doing a fresh transfer. Just praying we have something to send off for testing. We landed back in the UK earlier after a lovely afternoon and evening in Vienna, which was a belated anniversary celebration :-)

@Swirls346 I quite like the anonymity on here really so would prefer to stay - you guys are like my secret therapy group haha ;-)

@loulamay that’s fantastic - 10 wow! I’m cheering them all on and hope you get some more good news for day 3. My clinic have suggested PGT-A testing if we end up having another donor cycle, we’ve never done it before but it definitely makes sense.
Vienna sounds wonderful, I’ve never visited but it’s on my list :-) It’s great to take the positives from this ‘journey’ 😝 Visiting new places is definitely a big plus.

Ha ha, well I’m the opposite when it comes to testing 🤦‍♀️ I feel like I’m going to force myself to test on Monday, I’m absolutely dreading it. I did test after about 6 or 7 days after one transfer and it was negative, but I just kept thinking, oh maybe it’s too early which of course it wasn’t 🫤 If it’s a BFN, then it’s rough whichever way you play it, I suppose. Oh well, half way through now and it’s going fairly quickly x

@loulamay 10, that's amazing!! Hoping you get more good news

@KLM25 I'm with you in testing, I'd rather just not do it 😅 I definitely get what you're saying about treating it as a process - I'm trying to keep the mindset that this will work for us one day (as that's what those in the know keep telling me) and, as you say, it's a matter of finding the right embryo. Really hope this is the one for you x

Hello 👋 can I join? I had my first just over a year ago through IVF and now thinking about a second. We have frosties left over, but I live in Germany where your not allowed to develop anything you're not likely to immediately use to blastocysts stage. It's a pretty nonsensical law, but I guess you can see where it came from given the country's history. So, I have 1 4BC and 10 frozen fertilized eggs. I was planning on breastfeeding my almost toddler until the end of the year and then starting IVF in January. However, she's since decided she doesn't want to anymore. So now I'm wondering if I should just start ivf. I think I need to give it a month or maybe two anyway and don't want to waste blastocysts if my body isn't ready. I'm weighing up the benefits of starting (I'm not getting any younger, nice to have siblings close in age, September birthday, the 4bc is unlikely to work anyway so good to get on with it) Vs the negatives (we're just getting our lives back a bit, if it fails it would be just before Xmas, giving my body more time post breastfeeding to get back in sync). What would you do? Has anyone had success with a low grade embryo? Or had IVF shortly after finishing breastfeeding?

@loulamay that's really good! I hope you got/get good news on day 3!

Fab news @loulamay! What a great number. Well done you 😀 hope you have good news tomorrow 🤞

@KLM25 how are you feeling? I'm very much in the not testing camp too. I'd rather stay in the semi positive bubble for the short time it lasts and know testing once early would send me into a very expensive recurrent testing process! Glad the first half has gone quick ish and hope you've got some nice weekend plans to distract you?

Nice to hear from you @Eggling. That feels like a quick turnaround for you? Hope all goes well tomorrow 🤞 holiday sounds like a great idea. Where are you off to?

Welcome @CycleGirl20 👋 sorry you're in this camp too. Do you mind me asking what led you to go down the ivf route for your first? What an odd rule to have and I can understand the frustration with it. I think scheduling when to do things is so personal and depends on so many factors. Age being a big ish one I think? I don't know much about the effect breastfeeding can have so wouldn't want to comment.

Thanks all! it's the 5-day report today (8 were still going on day 3!) but I know this is when the biggest drop-off can happen so I'm trying to stay calm. We don't find out until 5 pm argh! It's our daughter's 2nd birthday today though so lots of nice distractions, plus my parents are here.

@Eggling will be thinking of you today and hope all goes well!

@CycleGirl20 I only breastfed for six weeks so no idea about how it affects things I'm afraid! A woman on Instagram had a healthy pregnancy with a 4bc but I do think it does lower the success rate percentage sadly. If it was me I think I'd definitely want to get on with it and try the 4bc because if it doesn't work then you can start to make a plan for what to do next and kind of get it out the way? I mean that kindly! I'm a planner by nature though so maybe that's just me!

@KLM25 how are you feeling?

@loulamay that's really good. Fingers crossed for you!

@SErunner we have unexplained infertility. We tried for 2 years with no luck and then decided to go down the IVF route. We were really lucky with IVF. I didn't need much in the way of meds and it worked first time. We're currently trying naturally and planning in when to do our next round.

@loulamay hope you've had good news and enjoyed celebrating your daughter's birthday!

@CycleGirl20 hello and welcome! I stopped breastfeeding in order to start back on the ivf train when my daughter turned one last year, they basically said I needed to stop as I'd need medications to bring on my period to start and the hormones aren't good for baby on the milk. I don't know anything scientific, anecdotally obviously we've not had much luck since and my acupuncturist seems to think I was probably fairly deficient in quite a few things so might be worth looking at some supplements (iron, vit d etc) if you feel you might need them? Regarding embryo grading, I think lower grades are statistically less likely to work but ultimately grading is quite subjective - as I understand they literally just look at the embryo to decide the grade - and if it's going to work it's going to work.

Transfer went smoothly and I have an 8-cell grade 1 day 3 on board! Went for lunch after and it must have been mega salty as I'm horrendously thirsty 😅 going to try and stay calm in this tww but we shall see how that works out.

We have six embryos for testing. SIX!!!!

@Eggling happy transfer day to you! Keeping everything crossed ❤️

Wishing you good luck @Eggling ! I've not heard of that style of grading before but grade 1 sounds good. Were you taking vitamins while breastfeeding and you needed more on top? Maybe I should see my doctor about that. Thanks for the tip. How did you feed about stopping breastfeeding? I'm quite sad to stop and it's a bit tricky choosing the chance of another baby over a baby you have in your arms. But then my 1 year old decided she didn't fancy it a few nights in a row and we decided just to take the opportunity. Still sad to stop though. It's like she's growing up so quickly!

@loulamay 6 wow that's some haul! I hope you get a good result from testing.

Thanks @CycleGirl20, as it's day 3 they grease differently but it's the best it can be at that stage which is something. To be honest I was really sad to stop breastfeeding and I still am really, I would have carried on had we not been wanting to get on with the IVF. I'd probably feel better about it if our first transfer had worked and I had a 5 month old now. However, it has done DD no harm at all, and coincided with my return to work and her having days at nursery so would have probably mostly stopped anyway. She was also a definite comfort nurser so it did give me a bit more space. Still wish that we had finished on our own terms though, even though it was very much my choice I felt like it was another thing that the IVF controlled if that makes sense.
I wasn't taking breastfeeding vitamins (which might explain a bit!). I started seeing an acupuncturist earlier this year after my miscarriage who thought my iron levels were probably low, and I had tests that showed my vitamin d was low despite taking a multivitamin, so the clinic told me to take strong vit d and folic acid. I'm also taking probiotics, inositol, coq10 and probably a couple more I've forgotten 😅 it's obviously individual though.

@loulamay 6 for testing is an amazing result! I’m so pleased for you and I’m really glad that Reprofit turned out to be such a good choice 😊 I’ve heard really good things about them. When will they test them? Does that happen soonish and then you plan for an FET? Happy 2nd Birthday to your little girl too ❤️ Great that the dates landed so well and you could get over to the Czech Republic and back before the birthday celebrations!

@Eggling Yay! One little embaby onboard ❤️ I always think it feels like such an achievement to actually get to transfer, so that’s wonderful news. Hope you’re feeling ok and you’ve got some nice distractions planned.

@SErunner Thanks so much, yes I like to stay in the little semi hopeful bubble too! Although I’m starting to lose my mind a little bit 🤪 I saw two magpies this morning and felt irrationally cheered up. Then I saw a single one and felt downhearted again 🤣 This way madness lies…! I know I could have tested this weekend but Chris is on nights and I don’t want him to go off to work feeling miserable. At least tomorrow we can be miserable together if it’s bad news! In some ways it’ll be good to just rip the plaster off I think, it’ll be better than the constant wondering. I feel like I’ve got a stronger sense of smell and my nipples feel painful if something presses against them, but I’m sure I felt like that on my last three transfers which were all BFNs so I’m trying to just keep that in mind. All this progesterone has a lot to answer for!
An old friend of mine has been up visiting another mutual friend this weekend so we’ve seen her yesterday and this morning so that’s kept us busy and has been a lovely distraction. Although I ended up pushing the pushchair up a really steep hill this morning so then had the inevitable worries about should I have done that 🤦‍♀️ Anyway, surely it’s either worked or not by now. If it hasn’t then we’ll make a new plan and keep moving on.

Welcome @CycleGirl20 👋 My previous clinic were very specific about having to have stopped breastfeeding and mentioned it on more than one occasion on our first transfer after our DS. I’d stopped by then so it wasn’t an issue, but I can imagine it’s tough to have to bring it to an end if you don’t feel that you’re ready.
Without wanting to sound negative, I think a lot of us on this thread have had a more complicated journey for number two as opposed to number one, so that’s maybe something to consider when thinking about how soon to get started. Of course everyone is different and there’s nothing to say it won’t come very easily for you in comparison x

6 is amazing @loulamay! Well done you! What is your timescale for testing? Happy birthday to your daughter, hope you had a lovely day celebrating.

Woohoo @Eggling. Great news for you too! Hope the TWW isn't too torturous - are you an early tester or a waiter?

@CycleGirl20 it must feel hard to decide re breastfeeding. I stopped at 6 months because our daughter became so distractible it was just impossible. I was spending virtually whole days sat in dark rooms in silence and didn't feel I could continue with it anymore. I still feel pangs of guilt about it - I think as mums we're damned it we do and damned if we don't! Do what feels right for you but definitely try not to feel bad about stopping if that's what's best.

@KLM25 the magpies are hilarious 😂 I totally get it though. Will be thinking of you tomorrow and very much hoping for the best outcome. The progesterone definitely has a lot to answer for!

@CycleGirl20 just adding I second @KLM25 our road for a sibling has been harder than our first (first embryo first fresh cycle). Obviously not the case for everyone but age does play such a big factor.

Hi everyone, it was bad news for us this morning unfortunately, BFN 😔
I woke up at 4.30 for the loo but I couldn’t bear to do it so early, so I waited until 5.30 as I couldn’t get back to sleep anyway. Never gets any easier seeing that single pink line 🤦‍♀️

On my clinic’s instructions, I’ve booked a blood test for tomorrow, it’s a different clinic to the one I’ve used before and I think you can pay an extra £18 to have the results back the same day. I want to stop the meds as soon as I can really and our feeling is that we want to try again as soon as we can.

I just feel so conflicted between the numbers game theory and the something undiagnosed theory! But I’ve had the expert look at my c section scar, I’ve had the Emma/Era/Alice, I’ve had the blood tests. I’ve had two different consultants over here tell me that there’s nothing wrong and I should do well 🤷‍♀️ My gut feeling is that I don’t want to waste more money and time on unnecessary extra testing, but is that the wrong decision? It’s so hard to know.
Part of me feels a bit unsure about the validity of the ERA test as I had two successful implantations with the original start date for the progesterone (one didn’t progress). Something to ask my doctor I suppose x

Oh @KLM25 I'm so sorry, I was really hoping this was it for you. It's so so hard and unfair. I totally get how you're feeling regarding wondering what the right thing to do is, it feels like it should be easier if the doctors are saying there's no problem but it's also so frustrating because then why isn't it working! Im with you in that I always want to get going again as soon as possible. I hope you're able to take a bit of a break and be extra kind to yourself today.

@SErunner I hate testing so am trying not to think about it!! OTD is the 18th but I'll probably test a day or two earlier - I guess 10dp3dt would be reliable enough so maybe Monday?

Just had a chat with nursery as DD has been telling them she has a baby brother 🙄 quite a few of her nursery friends have siblings on the way and we have a lot of friends with new babies so I think she's confused. A tiny part of me is hoping she's either talking about this little one or maybe the one we lost earlier this year who would have been due this week. More likely she's talking about the stuffed toy sloth she has that she's named "baby brother" 😅

oh, @KLM25 I'm so so sorry. What dpt are you today? Totally agree that the god damn progesterone can go to hell when it comes to symptoms. I have also read that the ERA test isn't used by some clinics because of its validity but I know all clinics are different. So hard not knowing 'why'. Hope your husband is okay too x

Our six embryos have been sent off for testing and they say we will have results no later than the start of November. Seems like a long time but we leave for Australia in two weeks for a month anyway so we weren't planning a FET before that. I had some blood tests done in Brno, one specifically for blood clotting issues so I think that we will get those results back, see if we have any embryos to transfer, and then talk to them about the next steps. I also can't decide if we should do an ERA or any other tests - it might depend on how many euploids we get. If it's only one I will feel so nervous that it doesn't stick, and that we should be checking out EVERYTHING we can before transfer...

Thanks so much @Eggling and @loulamay for your kindness and support, it really has helped today as I know you completely get it. I’m 12dp5dt today so it’s probably the latest I’ve ever left it to test as I was dreading it so much, plus it just kind of fell right with my OH’s shifts. He’s off work for a few days now so I can go off and have this blood test in the morning. They’ve said the result should be back the same day so at least I’ll be able to move on quickly, which I feel will help. I felt like not doing the Lubion or Clexane today, but I have done (and will do) as I figured oh well, what’s one more day.

Aw @Eggling I bet she’s talking about the baby sloth ❤️ like you say. They’re so funny with what they say aren’t they? We went into nursery last week and there was a toy syringe (very random actually now I think about it ☺️) and my DS picked it up and started saying in my tummy 😳 I can’t think when he would have seen me doing an injection, apart from once months ago in the car on the way back from holiday. God knows what else he’s telling them ha ha.

@loulamay very excited to hear about your trip to Australia. Whereabouts are you going? I’m guessing you’ll be working remotely whilst you’re there? A fantastic distraction to pass the time whilst you wait for the results anyway. I know what you mean about the ERA. I’ll let you know if my doctor says anything interesting about it. I think that’s fantastic that you had more blood tests in Brno. Was the blood clotting one a thrombophilia screen? Part of me wonders if I should have that as I’ve just always been on Clexane without having been tested to see if I need it. The more we can find out the better I always think, so it sounds really positive and blood tests are so easy compared to the more invasive stuff we find ourselves doing x

@KLM25 im really sorry to hear that 🙁. That sucks but you're doing so well keeping going with the meds until you're 100% sure. And well done for holding out to test.

I've stopped breastfeeding. It's really hard. My daughter didn't want to for a couple of days so I took the opportunity. But now I think she would again. I've just been holding her and rocking her to sleep with her dummy. She seems perfectly happy with that but I'm quite sad and finding it tough to stand firm. Plus, one of my breasts keeps leaking when I'm near her like it can hear her and wants to demonstrate we could still restart 🙈😭. I've emailed my clinic to ask about a transfer this year.

Oh wow @Eggling how old is she? She is surely talking about the sloth. I used to think my dog was my sister when I was little 😂.

Re it being harder a second time, I'm hoping luck (& a baby) is just around the corner for us all and it doesn't turn out to be too much tougher for a second. It's hard to say. I guess we're here because going though IVF again is tricky and quite a mixed bag of blessings and worries with having a child already and having to do it all again. DH & I have decided to get on with our next round as soon as the doctor thinks I'm ready.

@KLM25 I'm really sorry, it never gets easier. Hope you've got a bit of time to process? Re further testing/numbers game it's really tricky isn't it? I'm pretty sceptical about the ERA from what I've read so wouldn't personally go down that route. Ditto most of the immunes stuff really. It doesn't have much (if any) evidence behind it and can get extortionately expensive, although admittedly I am mostly basing that off second hand views rather than reading a lot of the primary sources myself. I think I'm more of the opinion that if you've had everything structurally checked out and there are no issues, for the majority of people it is a numbers game. And the older you are the bigger the number required to get a successful outcome in most cases. But equally I very much believe everyone should do what is right for them, so long as they have a good grasp of the facts, positives and negatives of whatever they are wanting to do. I can completely understand the view of those wanting to explore every avenue.

@CycleGirl20 it must feel really tough, I am sorry. It sounds like your daughter is taking it in her stride though? Perhaps that's a sign she was ready to wean anyway?

@Eggling I can sympathise with this. Our daughter is OBSESSED with babies. To the point where I find it really really difficult at times because she is drawn to every baby we see (real or toy) which inevitably results in the 'are you planning on having another' question. I think 10dp5dt would be a fairly certain outcome. That's when i tested last transfer, OTD was 11dp5dt

@loulamay wow your trip sounds fantastic! Definitely a good reason to be waiting a little while for transfer!

I have my HyCoSy scan tomorrow - hoping all looks okay so we can continue TTC naturally with a very small shred of optimism until next spring/summer, given we can't afford anymore IVF for now!

thanks, @KLM25 - they called it 'thrombophilia mutations' or something, so yes, I think that includes the blood clotting. I have also been on Clexane for every transfer bar the first fresh one, so I'm not sure the results will really tell us anything new in terms of protocol, but the test wasn't very expensive so I figured I might as well do it.

Good luck with your HyCoSy today @SErunner !

@Eggling the baby sloth has made me smile, bless her little heart :-)

My husband's family are all based in Perth (he was born in South Africa, but they moved there when he was 16). Our daughter has met his Mum and Dad and sisters, but not all her cousins and great Aunties and Uncles, or her great Grandma (who is 92!) so it'll be a really special trip. Work are letting me work remotely for the first week and then take the next three as holiday, but I'll keep an eye on emails - would rather fix something when it happened than come back to a sh*tshow! Can't wait for some sunshine!

Thanks so much @CycleGirl20 I’m sorry to hear it’s been so tough stopping the breastfeeding, it’s such an emotional thing. For what it’s worth, I think you’ve done the right thing in seizing the opportunity when it presented itself and in the long run, I’m sure you’ll look back and feel like it was the right time. Great news that you’ve made the decision about your next round and can start moving forward. So many complicated feelings surrounding it all, I know we will
all understand.

@SErunner Thankyou ❤️ You’re so right in what you say. The more we go along this road, the more I believe it is a numbers game. I do hope so anyway, as if not then we are just throwing money down the drain! I’m finding that side of things tricky as it is so much more expensive in Spain than in the Czech Republic. We’re basically spending the money we’d put aside for house renovations, so we are lucky to have that in a lot of ways.

My gut instinct is that I want to go back to the protocol that worked with our son which was 6mg of progynova (that worked well for my lining this time round), Clexane, Prednisolone and starting Progesterone at the normal time, 5 days before rather than 6. I was on less progesterone for that first transfer, only Cyclogest 600mg a day. I can’t bring myself to drop it that low again though, as I know it’s so important and I would stress about the levels. It was 47.7nmol/ml the day before transfer and that was with 800mg Cyclogest and 1 Lubion. I’m not sure when people talk about the benefits of replicating successful protocols, they mean to the letter?
Aarrghhh! It’s so hard to know what to do.
Hope your Hycosy goes well today, will you get the results straightaway? Hope so, it feels like such a win when you don’t have to wait to find out.

@loulamay Thanks for that info, I’ll be really interested to find out your results and if they act on them. I’m the same with the Clexane, it’s become a bit of a safety blanket for me with protocols but I’d be interested to know if I actually really need it.
Perth sounds amazing! I’ve never been to Western Australia, would love to. I follow someone on Instagram who’s just moved to Perth for a year and I love to see her posts as it looks incredible. That will be such a special trip for you all ❤️ Great as well that you’ve got 3 weeks off work. Their weather is just warming up isn’t it so what fantastic timing for a trip, hope you have a wonderful time x

@KLM25 Perth is lovely - it's like the gentle older sister city whereas Sydney is the crazy little brother and Melbourne's the arty, middle child haha. The weather is currently late 20s/early 30s. I am beside myself with joy! Don't cope very well with the UK winters.

@Eggling I wondered if I could ask you about your clinic's grading of embryos. The Brno clinic doesn't use the letters and numbers that I'm used to and just grade 1, 1-, 2, 2- and 3. These are ours (which they are saying is great):

FROZEN ON DAY 5:
3xHB/grade 1
1xHB/grade 2

FROZEN ON DAY 6:
1X FHB/2
1X HB/2

Obviously, none of that really matters yet because the grade 1's could be abnormal but it's not a system I've seen before. Is yours the same? I wish I knew what it equated to as 5AA, 4AB etc etc!