TTC no.2 after successful IVF for no.1

[Chocoholic85]

Hi,
I’m just after some advice and to see whether anyone is in the same boat!
Just found out that my 3rd FET failed.
We are very lucky to have DD who came from our first fresh transfer. We were also very fortunate to get 5 frozen embryos from that round so have been trying for a sibling. 1st FET was BFN, 2nd was a chemical pregnancy/early miscarriage and 3rd now is failed. Down to the last two and starting to feel the pressure and also wondering why on earth it isn’t working?!
We have unexplained infertility so nothing was ever found with our initial tests and I was 34 when we had out first IVF round so odds were in our favour. I read somewhere that at 34 around 50% of embryos are abnormal so I guess out our 6 maybe the last 3 were all abnormal. I’m also worried something has changed since I had to have a csection for DD. I did have an ultrasound which showed the scar had healed fine and there no niches, I’m wondering if there are adhesions that might not have been seen on the ultrasound though.
Would love to hear any advice for what to do next or from anyone else in a similar position. Thanks x

I'm also an (ex) runner - what a little club we have here. I was mostly 10k and half marathons, I haven't been running for the last year since we started back with the ivf as I find it so hard stopping and starting all the time - and of course I expected the hiatus to be shorter than it has been.

Good luck for your baseline scan @SErunner - it's always nice to get off the starting block and get a cycle going isn't it? The endless waiting is the worst.

@Chocoholic85 I hope your scan goes well tomorrow! Great to have a provisional date in the diary, we will all be willing this little one on for you.

@KLM25 that's helpful about your experience changing clinics, thank you. I'm hoping we don't get to that as I feel like I have good relationships, particularly with some of the nurses at our clinic, but I feel like after three cycles I'd expect us to be learning more about what works and results getting better rather than worse? Will have to see what they say on Monday.

How funny that we’re all runners/ex-runners!

My scan went ok, I have a little bit of fluid which will hopefully clear before transfer, I’ve had this before and it has gone. I was a bit disappointed with my lining, 7.9mm. My clinic is happy with anything over 7mm so they’re pleased with it. I was hoping I could have got to 8mm…it might still increase a bit before transfer🤞

Transfer now booked for next Friday 😬 Feeling very anxious as it’s only next week!

@Eggling which clinic have you been using? I’ve had mixed experience of my clinic (Care) and was considering moving but then chickened out. I think if we end up needing a fresh EC I might consider looking elsewhere. It’s just really convenient for us to get to and I’m worried that the grass might not greener on the other side so to speak. Feels like a big decision!

@Chocoholic85 you're so close to 8mm! Glad the scan went ok, fingers crossed the fluid clears.

We are with create (Manchester) which, like you, is convenient - about 20 minutes from us. I've considered care but it's a bit further from us, I think if this transfer fails I'll look at Manchester Fertility which is about 15 minutes from us so again close by, and looks good from the website etc. I'm frustrated because the mild ivf create do should be perfect from me as I have pcos so amh and afc has always been high, but the results just don't seem to match up and we've had a couple of things now that are really rare - embryo not surviving the thaw and then this low fertilisation, so I'm getting a bit twitchy. I know what you mean about grass is greener though, it's so tough. And they did give me my little girl of course!

Nice to see lots of other runners! @KLM25 will keep fingers crossed all goes smoothly and you can transfer in the autumn.

@Eggling I can understand you feeling a bit uncertain, it's natural isn't it when things aren't working out to wonder what the alternatives might be? I think you have to do what feels right for you.

After a frustrating morning I don't think we will be going this cycle after all. I've already got a large dominant follicle despite being on day 2 so they don't think my lining will have chance to catch up and for the timings to all coincide correctly. So frustrating. Usually my ovaries do bugger all and now they decide to perk up! They've done some bloods to check oestrogen levels but not feeling hopeful. Should hear later today/tomorrow. God this process is such a pain isn't it!

It is funny that we’re all runners! I love that.
Like an online IVF running club ❤️ Without the running 🤦‍♀️

@SErunner I’m really sorry to hear about your scan yesterday. I can imagine your frustration when you’re ready to get going. Hopefully you’ve heard one way or the other by now.

@Eggling I know what you mean about creating good relationships at a clinic. It does make it tougher to switch. I think you’ll know if the time’s right. Hope everything goes well on Monday and you come away with some helpful information.

@Chocoholic85 That’s great news about your scan, there’s still time for it to thicken even more and they’re already happy with it. Fingers crossed for the fluid. With this dummy cycle, I had it for the first scan and then 5 days later it was gone. I’m so pleased you’ve got a date for transfer, am really rooting for you x

Thanks @KLM25. Thankfully my bloods came back and my oestrogen levels are actually just right for this stage in the cycle, so they think the large follicle isn't active. Scan booked for next Thurs and hopeful things might be looking okay after all 🤞

@Chocoholic85 so sorry, I missed your post completely. So close to 8mm! And yes I'm sure it will still thicken a bit more?! Great you have transfer booked 👍

We might also look at another clinic if this round doesn't work. Ours has been fantastic but the travelling is so exhausting (2 hours each way) and makes fitting everything in with work so much harder. I'm really reluctant to though because they have been so great. We did our first round in lockdown so the travelling was not so much of an issue then - no traffic!

@SErunner That’s fantastic news about your estrogen levels, great that they went by your blood results rather than just cancelling it altogether. Is the scan tomorrow to check your lining thickness etc? I’ll keep everything crossed that it all goes well.
@Chocoholic85 Hope you’re doing well and feeling ok on the medication. Exciting that your transfer is so close now ❤️😊
@Eggling Hope all went well with your follow-up appointment and you got some answers to your questions.

Not a lot happening here with me this week, I’m just checking my emails too regularly which is nothing new! The transportation forms with our notarised signatures have arrived at the shipper in Prague. They said on Monday that it might take a couple of days to get the information from the old clinic that I need to fill out the forms for the new clinic 😵‍💫 So I’ll be giving it until tomorrow and then sending another email ☺️ The Emma/Alice/Era results are supposed to take 10-12 days so I’m planning to wait until Monday and then chase those up if I haven’t heard.

Our little boy was sick a few times when he got home from nursery last night. Luckily he started to improve from about 10pm and both of us are ok (so far 😬), which was a relief as we thought we were in for a real night of it 🤦‍♀️☺️. He seemed completely back to normal this morning ❤️ It was good timing really as neither of us was at work and I didn’t have to worry about catching it during an FET cycle which is always at the back of my mind x

@KLM25 yes, and to see if I have a dominant follicle that is active I think. Hoping it goes okay and we can go ahead this round. I don't usually have lining issues so fingers crossed. It's so stressful worrying about getting ill during cycle isn't it. Our daughter had chicken pox during our fresh cycle last time - thankfully the clinic were okay about it! Hope your son is okay now?

@Chocoholic85 how are you?

@Eggling ditto, hope your appt went okay

@KLM25 sorry to hear about the sickness - not what you need right now! Hope the results arrive soon.

@SErunner hope your scan goes ok!

My appuntamento was alright thanks, I felt really positive afterwards but have felt weirdly down the last couple of days since. The consultant was great and I have asked to be under him for any future cycles if possible. He basically said it was "biological variation" ie a bad batch of eggs this month, and that out of 10 cycles he'd expect 7 like the first which gave us 4 embryos and 3 like this one which wasn't so great. Clinic are introducing assisted oocyte activation though which this consultant pioneered at Care before moving to Create, and he seemed optimistic about that working well for us. He said a number of times that there is no reason that we won't be able to have another child, which is obviously reassuring, it's just sad and frustrating that it is taking so long and so much heartache for us to get there.

@KLM25 Sorry to hear your little one was poorly ☹️ It’s horrible when they’re ill. I know what you mean about catching bugs - I’m always paranoid about catching something in FET cycle. In fact I’ve been a bit sniffly this week (DD too) perfect timing! I
@Eggling Glad your appointment went well and the consultant was positive. I think the positivity from a consultation can rub off until you realise that you’ve still got a long way to go…I’ve experienced the same thing with a high followed by a low.
@SErunner fingers crossed your scan goes ok!

I’ve had a stressful couple of days…there was still a little bit fluid on my scan so nurse had to refer to consultant for their opinion and was told to expect a call (from the consultant). Got to 4.30pm and I heard nothing (whilst expecting to hear that the transfer would be cancelled). I called the clinic and spoke to a nurse who said consultant had noted on the system he was happy to proceed…no explanation or anything. So now I’m feeling pretty pessimistic about this transfer to be honest. I know they wouldn’t go ahead if they didn’t think it had a chance but everything you read about fluid on line seems to say it’s not good for transfer ☹️ Dreading going in tomorrow now…

@SErunner @Eggling @Chocoholic85 Thanks everyone, yes he’s much better now, more or less back to normal, just a bit more tired than usual I think. It was horrible at the time but he’s bounced back really quickly ❤️ I knew you’d all understand that anxiety about catching a bug during treatment 🤦‍♀️

@SErunner Hope your scan went well today and all’s going to plan 🤞

@Eggling Really glad the appointment went well, that’s fantastic that the consultant was so positive. I know what you mean about feeling low afterwards, you just want to speed things up and get going again.

@Chocoholic85 I’m sorry you’ve had a tough few days. I can completely empathise about the fluid situation, I’ve had the same thing happen every cycle this past year. If it helps, the consultant I’ve been seeing in London was talking about it to me - he said he would only be worried about fluid if it was carrying bacteria ie endometritis. He said that some clinics ‘panic’ when they see fluid but there’s no need to. So maybe your consultant is of the same opinion and that’s why they’re not worried about it. I think the location of it is a big factor as well. I’m sure they wouldn’t go ahead with it if it was a problem, but it would have helped to have got a phone call to explain that! I know you’re bound to worry, like we all do, but hopefully you’ll be able to get some more reassurance from them tomorrow. We’re all rooting for you ❤️ x

@Eggling I'm sorry you're feeling a bit flat. I often find after consults I initially perk up then feel a bit down again. It feels so unfair sometimes. Do you have any next steps planned?

@Chocoholic85 I'm sorry, the uncertainty is so stressful isn't it. I can understand your pessimism but as you say, they wouldn't go ahead if they weren't happy I'm sure. Is it your transfer tomorrow?

@KLM25 glad your son is better 👍 definitely not additional worry you need!

My scan went well today thankfully! Large follicle has disappeared and there is one looking like it's developing to be dominant. Lining is already 6.7mm on day 8 which they're happy with. I start ovulation tests on sun and am back in Mon. Feeling a bit more positive after today.

Feeling like this cycle is doomed 😞 day 12 today and due to go for scan but have had pink/brown discharge on wiping since yesterday evening. Never had this mid cycle before, no idea what is going on but presume they won't be keen to continue. I'm just so exhausted with it all today and feeling like I just don't have the strength to keep doing this even though we've only just started! The money, the disruption to life and work, the nightmare logistics and the emotional toll. It's just all so much. Sorry for the vent. Hope everyone else okay x

@SErunner Don’t apologise, you’ve summed it all up perfectly 😏 I can imagine how you feel, it’s all such a massive effort so when something like that happens, it knocks you for six. Have you got the scan today? I hope you get some answers soon. Could there be a chance they could change the dose of your medication and the cycle could continue? I’m just taking a shot in the dark really but I’m really keeping everything crossed for you ❤️

I’m ok, I’m just psyching myself up to ring the London consultants office to see if these results are back yet. It’s only a phone call so it shouldn’t feel like such a big effort but I suppose I’m worried about it already so it feels more daunting than it should do.

Hope the scan happens soon and you get some positive news. We really put ourselves through a lot ❤️ x

Oh gosh @SErunner vent away! It's so so stressful when things don't go according to plan, and I completely hear you about how disruptive this process is to literally every part of life. It's really hard!

Hope you get the results back @KLM25

I'm officially on the countdown to starting out FET cycle (provided our little day 3 embryo makes it) and feeling completely all over the place. Ended up in floods of tears at a toddler play centre with DD on Saturday as the other two families we were meeting have little babies as well as their toddlers and I was having a day where I completely couldn't cope and had to go and sob in the car for a bit. Once I'd pulled myself together it was fine but I'm sick of being a total basket case.

Today I'm knackered but that's because one of our smoke alarms was intermittently beeping for low battery all night and I couldn't work out which one so I've been up since 1.30 which is just stupid, every time I started drifting off the bloody thing beeped again. Culprit has now been located and despatched!

Thanks both. They've cancelled the cycle as things weren't looking right. Dominant follicle hadn't grown and my lining was thinner than last scan for some reason. No idea what's going on. They're happy for us to try another natural cycle or switch to medicated. I'm feeling exhausted by it all and can't really think straight today so will come up with a plan in a few days I think.

@Eggling literally everyone around me is having their second babies. I too feel like a basket case at times and like a horrible person because I want to be happy for them but feel so bitter. We've got our daughters 2nd birthday party soon and I'm dreading all the babies that will be brought along 😢 Sorry you had a crap night, bloody smoke alarms! Glad you despatched it!

@KLM25 hope your phone call goes okay when you get to it. Sometimes it easier to put off news when you are worried about the outcome isn't it?

@SErunner I’m sorry to hear your cycle got cancelled ☹️ I was very much feeling like you last week, it’s such a rollercoaster and I know exactly how you feel when you say you’re exhausted by it all! Hope you start to feel a bit more positive in the next few days.

@KLM25 Hope you get through to the clinic for your results!

@Eggling exciting to hear that you can start soon - completely get the emotional rollercoaster that comes with it though! Excitement and dread all at the same time!

My transfer went fine on Friday so currently 3dpt today. Feeling extremely pessimistic about this cycle. I’ve completely lost faith that this would ever work again.

It’s so reasuring to hear that I’m not alone in being a basket case! Almost everyone I know is on second children and I’ve really struggled with all of it. No one in my NCT knows about the IVF so they all witter on about how hard it is with a second etc, I find it really hard to listen to. I almost feel like I’m less of a mum for having 1 child if that makes sense? Even though I know it’s ridiculous!

@SErunner sorry your cycle got cancelled 😞 it's just crap isn't it, you think you're finally in the way then another spanner in the works. Be kind to yourself ❤️

@Chocoholic85 officially PUPO! Sorry you're not feeling positive, I completely get that - I feel like if this next transfer goes ahead it'll just be a case of getting whatever goes wrong next out of the way. Yes, completely lost faith - it's so tricky as I obviously do have hope or I wouldn't carry on with the ivf but also the hope is so scary as there's been so much grief already.

Oh yeah I hear you about feeling less of a mum! Two of my closest friends just had their second babies and two are about to have their first so I know they'll all be meeting up on nat leave together etc (and rightly so!) and I just feel so left out because my little one should be arriving in October so I could join in too. We're all booked to go away together for new year and I'm so worried about how I'll cope if I'm not pregnant by then. I just had this vision of my "2 under 2" and after the first ivf cycle I honestly thought the hard not was behind us - so naive!

Thank you. After spending much of the afternoon crying I'm feeling a bit better this evening. Think we'll go for a medicated cycle next time just to take an element of uncertainty out of it. I just don't have much faith in my body any more ☹️.

@Chocoholic85 @Eggling with you on feeling like less of a mum. Im less bothered about the fact we might not have another child, but the fact our daughter might not have a sibling kills me. It's so tough seeing everyone around you get on with it isn't it? I don't feel I can really talk to my close friends about it either. I don't want to be putting a dampener on things, and don't feel they really get it anyway. They're very kind but don't really have any understanding of how it feels.

Great news your PUPO @Chocoholic85! Sorry you're not feeling positive. I can understand that. It's hard to keep the faith when it feels like things have gone wrong so often. Keeping everything crossed for you.

@SErunner I’m really sorry to hear that your cycle has been cancelled. It’s so disappointing when you’re all geared up for it and have a date in your head. Glad to hear you’re feeling a bit brighter now though and definitely better to wait until conditions are right rather than wasting an embryo. Plus you’ll be doing something different with a medicated cycle so that’s really positive too. Hope you slept ok and are feeling better again today.

@Chocoholic85 Officially PUPO ❤️ I understand how you feel - it’s hard not to feel demoralised after lots of transfers. But it’s great that the transfer went well, that’s another hurdle over with and I hope the 2WW flies by for you. Really rooting for you.

@Eggling That’s really great that things are moving along and you’ve not got long to wait until your next cycle 😊 It’s such a mixture of emotions, I can completely empathise with that.

Totally agree about the second baby thing 😏 Because I’m older, most of my friends of a similar age already had 2 or 3 children before I even met Chris, never mind had our little boy. But I’ve made a few new friends since having him, and I’m absolutely dreading one of them telling me that they’re pregnant again. I don’t want them to think I’m not happy for them. It’s like you say, I can’t bear the thought of him not having a brother or sister. It makes me feel really sad. I even find it hard to talk to my Mum about it sometimes, as I know she worries about me and would be happier if we stopped. I find that frustrating as I think it’s only natural to want to try our hardest to give him a sibling.

I spoke to the London clinic yesterday and my results are back. We’ve got an online appointment this morning with Mr Lower to discuss them. I’m pretty nervous about it but also half happy that things are moving along. His secretary was originally making me an in person appointment but then suggested we could do it online, so it’s a relief not to have to spend more money on a train ticket at least! Xx

@KLM25 Hope your consultation goes ok this afternoon 🤞

Thanks so much @Chocoholic85. I actually got the results via email first thing this morning so I could look at them during the appt. They were all pretty clear tbh. The Emma showed that my good bacteria (lactobacillus) was 87.5% and apparently if it’s over 80% that’s ok, they aim for 90%. He told me to keep taking this Canesflor vaginal probiotic one week on, one week off. The Alice showed that I don’t have endometritis or any of the bacteria that they look for. The Era said I was pre-receptive and need 135 hours of progesterone, although to be honest, I wasn’t that far off that with my previous transfers. So I haven’t really got a reason why I’ve had all of those failed implantations but I suppose I’m quite happy that I don’t need antibiotics to try to get rid of something, which may have taken some time, who knows.

I've been in touch with the new clinic in Barcelona and I think they’re happy for me to start again once our frozen embryos have made it there from Prague. I think the paperwork is nearly complete thankfully, they’ve just asked if we want to transport 3 straws of Chris’ sperm too which we also have stored there. It might delay things a bit as there’s more paperwork but we feel like it might be sensible to move that too.

Our London doctor and Barcelona doctor seem quite happy to liaise with each other too, so I might have a mid cycle scan in London which I’d be quite happy about, rather than going to Ultrasound Direct as I have done previously, as I feel like Mr Lower knows my history. It would cost more money but we feel like it would be more definitive. We’ll see anyway. I’m really hoping for a transfer in Sept but these things are never straighforward are they?!

Hope everyone is doing ok and has had a good day. Apparently it’s World IVF day, who knew?! Xx

Glad you've got your results back @KLM25. As you say, it sounds good you've not got any identifiable issues from them. Will keep fingers crossed for transfer in Sept for you. Is moving embryos complex or just time consuming? How come you are moving them to Prague? No idea re world IVF day - who knew?!

After a very chaotic day yesterday, the clinic have said they are happy to count this bleed as a new cycle based on my scan on Mon which looked as a day 1 scan should. So they rushed a prescription over and I started estrogen tablets yesterday and were now on a medicated cycle 🤪 I feel a bit panicked and worried my body isn't ready for it but they weren't concerned as they said the meds will control everything they need to. There are a few reasons I won't be able to do a cycle between mid august and nov so it was a bit of a case of now or next year really. Glad to have started again but equally fretting we're going to waste our precious embryo by rushing! I trust the clinic though, so fingers crossed 🤞

@SErunner Wow what a whirlwind! That’s great news though and hopefully you’re feeling a bit better about it all now you’ve got going. Like you say, your clinic know what they’re doing and it’s brilliant not to be waiting around. Which meds are you on? Is it just the estrogen until you start the progesterone?

Well I don’t want to speak too soon but it seems to be less complex than I feared. It’s just lots of paperwork and having signatures notarised etc. I’ve had to send a few emails chasing things up but the two guys at the clinic and at the shippers seem to be communicating well with each other so that’s good. We haven’t had to pay anything until they give us the date for shipping them, so that’s good too.
They’re actually in Prague at the moment as our previous clinic is there, so they’ve not got to cross any water, just overland to Spain! I’m not sure if they get driven there or flown there, but the same company transported Chris’ sperm from London to Prague during lockdown, which must have been by car so maybe it’s the same? I’ll have to ask. It’s costing us €1350 which I suppose is a lot but in the great scheme of things, it’s a drop in the ocean 🤦‍♀️

Yes it would be wonderful if we could have a transfer in Sept. I know we’re all the same and it’s inevitable but I do worry about the passing of time x

@SErunner that’s great to hear that you can jump straight into another cycle, keeping everything crossed that it goes more smoothly for you this time. What a rollercoaster you’ve had over the past few weeks!

@KLM25 good to hear your results were ok, you must be feeling relieved 😊 I hope you can get everything sorted at the new quickly so you can get going in September. Keeping fingers crossed for you 🤞

This TWW is pretty torturous ☹️ So much to compare it to and I don’t feel like I can trust my body much anymore. I’m not going to test early, couldn’t bear having to keep going with the inhixa injections to OTD if I get a negative. I’ve purposely not bought any new pregnancy tests so that’s helping!