TTC no.2 after successful IVF for no.1

[Chocoholic85]

Hi,
I’m just after some advice and to see whether anyone is in the same boat!
Just found out that my 3rd FET failed.
We are very lucky to have DD who came from our first fresh transfer. We were also very fortunate to get 5 frozen embryos from that round so have been trying for a sibling. 1st FET was BFN, 2nd was a chemical pregnancy/early miscarriage and 3rd now is failed. Down to the last two and starting to feel the pressure and also wondering why on earth it isn’t working?!
We have unexplained infertility so nothing was ever found with our initial tests and I was 34 when we had out first IVF round so odds were in our favour. I read somewhere that at 34 around 50% of embryos are abnormal so I guess out our 6 maybe the last 3 were all abnormal. I’m also worried something has changed since I had to have a csection for DD. I did have an ultrasound which showed the scar had healed fine and there no niches, I’m wondering if there are adhesions that might not have been seen on the ultrasound though.
Would love to hear any advice for what to do next or from anyone else in a similar position. Thanks x

@Eggling I’m so sorry to hear about your cancelled transfer. This bloody fluid. I had exactly the same thing with my last transfer although it was cancelled around the time of the lining scan. The same problem has cropped up a few times this year and I still don’t feel they’ve got to the bottom of it.
What have they suggested? Is it just a case of trying again next month?
I’m not sure whether or not this is helpful but the doctor I saw in London for the Emma/Era/Alice said that he wouldn’t be particularly worried about fluid, only if it was carrying infection. When I asked what it was, he said cervical mucus. It seems to come and go with me. I’ve almost always had it on day 11 lining scans but it’s never been mentioned on baseline scans.
It seems to depend on where it actually is, but surely a wand for a transvaginal scan would push it up into the uterus? I feel very confused about it, I’m sure you’re the same. I’m very sorry anyway and hope you get some information to help with moving forward. You’re spot on when you say it feels like a joke, it’s incredibly frustrating, especially when no one seems to be able to tell you what it is or how to deal with it x

Hope you’re doing ok @Eggling I totally empathise with your feelings - I have the same thoughts about being x months pregnant by now. September will be tough as that would have been my due date for my miscarriage in February. I try to tell myself that it just wasn’t meant to be. I sometimes believe that things happen for a reason, I think if helps me feel less like it’s my fault if that makes sense.

IVF research also really frustrates me, for every study that says you shouldn’t do x there’s always others saying that you should! Like you said @KLM25 it feels like no one really knows what they’re doing when it comes to the fluid!

Thanks for the tips on Ubiquinol @loulamay and @SErunner, greatly appreciated :-)

@loulamay your therapy sessions sound like they’re helpful. Are they a specialist with fertility problems? I’ve often thought about counselling but it’s another expense on top of everything else!

We had our follow up this afternoon. As expected the consultant has no answers…just that I’m very consistent in terms of my response and on paper there shouldn’t be a problem. Apparently he’s not concerned about my slightly raised anticardiolipid (it was .7 over the threshold) Said I can pay for another blood test or just use Inhixa again on next transfer…thing I might save myself the £126 and just use the Inhixa!

He mentioned last time about enquiring with Prof Quenby at Warwick for the immunology testing. Has anyone had any experience with this? I’m wondering if it’s worth a look into…He didn’t mention any further testing today which makes me think he’s banking on this being an embryo issue…

@Chocoholic85 Glad you had your follow up but I’m sorry they didn’t come up with any answers. I think I’d do the same with the Inhixa, carry on taking it and forego the expense of the test. I’ve taken Clexane on every transfer cycle and Prednisolone too, albeit at a low dose, which I’ve read might not do anything anyway! It’s just like you say, it makes your mind even more confused when doctors don’t agree on protocols. When I spoke to the Greek clinic, they almost raised their eyebrows out of the top of their head when they heard I hadn’t been tested for immunes, but had been prescribed both anyway. Which of course made me worry!
Anyway the London doctor agreed with it and said he’d throw the kitchen sink at it (I’ve since read that that is actually the name of a protocol in the US), plus the new Spanish clinic are onboard with it too, so I’d rather just continue with that protocol, since it worked the first time.
I’ve heard good things about Prof Quenby, so it’s great that your clinic are open to that, as not all of them seem to be. You can have intralipids too, can’t you, but I have no personal experience of that.

@Eggling I’m sorry, I read my post from yesterday and thought it sounded really negative about the fluid. I was just having one of those days. I hope I didn’t make you feel worse. I actually came across another thread last night and both of the posters had experienced fluid issues, but both are currently pregnant, so it’s obviously something which can change. Hope you’re feeling a bit brighter anyway.

@loulamay I was interested to hear about your counselling too, I think it’s a great idea and feel the same as @Chocoholic85 I think I’d find it really helpful but worry about the expense on top of everything else.
Glad you’ve been looking into Brno - I’ve got an old Time Out guide to Barcelona so I’m thinking I might dig it out to try to muster up some positivity! If we ever get there 🤦‍♀️😂 x

@SErunner Hope you’re feeling ok, I know how hard it must be when people all around you are having second babies. We’ve all got a picture of how we imagine our family.
I’ve got an expanding IKEA storage bag with all of my little boy’s clothes. Whenever I put something in there, I wonder what we’ll end up doing with them 😏 I’m miles away mentally from being able to hand them down to someone else. Fortunately we’ve got more space since we moved house otherwise we’d be in even more of a mess than we already are ☺️ x

I've also been on Clexane for the past four transfers I think and was also never tested for any immune issues! The more I think about it the more I think we just got lucky with our daughter but really, the tech in Cape Town doesn't seem to be as cutting-edge as that of the Euro clinics I've been looking at. So I feel slightly more hopeful that a fresh set of eyes and possibly more tests might help us get to baby number 2.

Got my bloods back and numbers are predictable for my age range but around average rather than low or high. Feeling mixed - glad that they're not totally disastrous (AMH is 5.5, FSH is 11, no thyroid issues) but a stupid part of me had hoped they might be better. AMH doesn't indicate a total loss of all my eggs, so I think we'll just have to hope I respond well to stims and manage to get a few quality blasts. Also doing some reading and it's only one factor out of lots. All in all, glad I found out and have sent the results over to Brno.

For those asking about therapy - I hadn't mentioned it, but we had a very rough start to the year when our daughter was diagnosed with a brain tumour in late Jan out of the blue (she had been vomiting but we thought it was just a bug). Thankfully she had successful surgery to remove it all and they found out that the growth was actually benign but it was a horrific time and we still have to go back for her to have MRI scans every four months at the moment. So the therapist is one who specialises in EMDR for trauma. I see her every two weeks and she's great. I find it very cathartic to just unload to her, but it's also tiring and very emotional! The IVF process is linked in that it took us a while to have a baby and so I already had anxiety about something happening to her. And then it did! So we're just working on processing it all. Life huh?

Oh @loulamay I’m so sorry to hear that. A rough start to the year is an understatement, that must have been incredibly hard. I’m really glad that she’s doing well and they’re keeping a close eye on her. I’m also pleased to hear that the therapy is helping, but yes you must feel exhausted after every session.
It’s a lot to process.

Yes a fresh pair of eyes is a lot to feel positive about. That’s how I feel (most of the time ☺️). I’m trying to focus on that anyway.
Your results sound pretty good I think? I’m obviously no expert! My AMH was 2.32 the one time I had it checked, so a lot lower than yours. I just checked the date and I was 45 at the time so it’s no wonder I suppose.
I’m sure I’ve read on here about women having success with a lower AMH than yours so that sounds really positive.

Great that your thyroid is fine too. I want to get mine checked out too, it’s one of the tests I’m going to ask the GP about when I see her tomorrow x

Gosh @loulamay I'm so sorry. That is an awful lot for you to deal with, but so glad you're daughter is well. Agree a fresh pair of eyes sounds helpful. My AMH was 6 when tested 3 years ago, AFC of the same. My AFC has remained roughly the same but I haven't had AMH retested. I am 34 so a bit crap for my age, especially at 31 when we first started the infertility train. As far as we know there isn't anything else 'wrong', although all our embryos have been slow growers as I mentioned. So I wonder if there is something in that in terms of egg quality (which should still be okay-ish for my age).

@KLM25 I also can't contemplate getting rid of the stuff stashed in the loft. I think it will be a long time before I consider that. But it does weigh on my mind and acts as a reminder.

@Chocoholic85 we haven't done any immunology testing as we've only had two transfers from the same fresh cycle fail, so hoping we would have more luck with a new fresh cycle and no indication at this point there is anything else 'wrong'. I've been reading a lot of Robert Winston's website for a while now and he seems to think it is in a large part down to the embryo as to whether a transfer will be successful, and is somewhat sceptical about all the additional testing and treatment etc which can be done now. Obviously though lots of others feel it can really make a difference.

On a side note, my period started yesterday and it's awful. So heavy and so painful. Feel like there should be t-shirts saying 'I spent £10k on IVF and all I got was this lousy period' ☹️ feels like the last kick in the teeth! Glad to be on to a new cycle though and off hormones, trying to find the silver lining!

Thank you. Whilst it was an awful experience, we say regularly how it could have been much much worse in terms of results and we are so lucky that she hasn't had to have any chemo or radiation. Plus she was so little that she won't remember any of it.

@KLM25 certainly not terrible results! so that's reassured me a little bit that we aren't crazy to be trying again.

I'm with you on the terrible period @SErunner . Totally unnecessary!

@KLM25 I've just read back to your earlier posts. Would you mind telling me what the age cut-off in Czech is?

Any news from your new clinic? what's the current status? (sorry if I have missed things from your posts!)

@loulamay Of course, no worries at all, just ask away if there’s anything I can help with re Czech Rep. The age limit is 48 but in reality that means 48 and 364 days, so I suppose you kind of get an extra year. The transfer has to be done before your 49th birthday.

We’re still in a bit of a limbo. We’ve got 3 frozen donor egg embryos in Prague from a fresh cycle which happened in Feb. We originally had 5 embryos from that cycle, one 5AA and 4 4AA (I think they might grade them differently to here but 5AA is supposedly the best), the first 2 transfers were both BFNs, one in Feb, one in March. I was then supposed to transfer one final time in May before my birthday, but they reported fluid on my day 11 scan, advised me to have my c section scar checked and that transfer got cancelled.
Since then I’ve had my scar checked by Adrian Lower in London who said it was fine but advised me to have the Emma/Era/Alice to see if the fluid was carrying any infection. The tests came back clear but the Era said I need another day of progesterone.
So nothing obviously ‘wrong’ as such and still no reasons for the failures - it’s all still a bit of a mystery unfortunately. Although from what I read on these forums, very normal when it comes to trying to conceive number 2 😔

In the meantime we’ve been in the process of moving our embryos to Institut Marques in Barcelona and hopefully we’re almost there!
The very helpful Luca emailed this morning so it sounds like he’s been on holiday thank god and not left ☺️
We’re just still waiting on final paperwork for the frozen sperm as I think the embryologist from Prague who needs to complete it, is also now on hols! How dare these people have a holiday 😂 I’m so impatient 🤦‍♀️

I’m a bit like you, I feel hopeful that a fresh pair of eyes and a new clinic might be the answer 🤞 We spoke to another clinic in Greece but they don’t believe in the Era test and don’t test progesterone levels (mind you neither did Gennet). Because of that, we decided in the first instance to plump for Barcelona as they were more helpful re accepting the embryos and also supportive of my previous protocol which includes the immunes. If these 3 embryos don’t work either, then I suppose we can think again. I can’t bear to think that far ahead 😏

I saw my GP this morning who was lovely and helpful, which was such a relief. I’m having blood tests for Vit D, Thyroid, HIV, Hep B and C and syphilis (all requested by the clinic). She also said she’d request a full blood count when I told her about feeling exhausted and brain-foggy at the minute. I can’t get an appt for those until a week on Thurs but hopefully that’ll be ok. We’ll see, I’ve got the consultation with the clinic on Wed. I’m just hoping everything will come together in time for my next period! God knows when that will come mind you, as my last one was about a week later than expected.

Sorry to hear about your nightmare period @SErunner - mine was just the same this time round. Glad you’re off the meds though, always a relief when you can stop clock watching and setting alarms! It’ll be a nice break from that x

@KLM25 thank you! I'd heard of Gennet too. So great that Luca has returned! All hail Luca!

Brno have accepted all of our test results but also asked if I have ever had my thrombophilia mutations checked. Didn't even know what that was but seems to be about blood clotting etc. so they said I can do that test when we go out.

Curious about your GP. Did she order the blood tests that the clinic wanted through the NHS for free? This seems awesome! I had a full blood count done recently too because I was worried I was getting peri-menopause symptoms, so the GP checked out a whole bunch of stuff, all of which came back normal. FSH levels are also supposed to be a good indicator of menopause so those look fine which is a relief because I was worried my body had suddenly decided to abandon me.

Bring on the bank holiday! Hope you're all ok @Chocoholic85 @Eggling @pamplemoussee @SErunner @

Thank you for the kind words everyone, this process is such a rollercoaster (and I hate rollercoasters 😅😅)

@loulamay great that your test results are in hand! I'm so sorry to hear all that you've gone through with your daughter, and so happy that she's better now. That must have been awful and a lot to process. I can empathise with the anxiety a bit, DH was diagnosed with a genetic heart condition in January (during my 2ww from that transfer 🙄) and we are going through the process to get DD tested. None of the drs seem to think the risk to either of them is high but the condition obviously shows no symptoms until the sudden death of whoever has it so I spend a lot of time in the night checking both are breathing!

@KLM25
Glad helpful Luca is back! Although annoying that the other is now away. The audacity of these people, having lives! I'm the same I'm not getting rid of baby stuff, I'd thought we would have it all out again by now so whilst I've lent a couple of things to friends the idea of actually getting rid of anything is awful.

Ah @Chocoholic85 its so frustrating when there's no answers isn't it? We're the same, every time th we've said it's a good embryo and we have a good chance and they can't find any other issue. Which I know is a good thing but also if we don't know the problem we can't fix it!

Hope you're doing alright @pamplemoussee

It's my birthday on Tuesday so we are having an extra long bank hol - having family over for lunch today then tomorrow we are off camping for two nights which will be interesting with a two year old and most likely in the rain 😅 hope you all have lovely weekends!

Thanks everyone for the welcome.

@loulamay gosh you've really been through an ordeal what a huge relief like you say but can't imagine how difficult that's been

I had some counselling this wk which helped abit but it's only a couple of weeks since my last failed embryo and I just feel quite...sad but then annoyed at myself for feeling sad as I don't want to be!!

It feels a lot of pressure on this last little embryo and abit hopeless with it at this point and don't really know how to feel positive about the process now if that makes sense ?! But it might still be quite raw since my last cycle

We're going away for a few days next week so that's good timing I guess and hoping I might snap out of it abit and use the break between now and this hysteroscopy procedure for other things! I keep accidentally saying hysterectomy which would definitely not help matters!! I have an appt with the consultant end of sept where I suppose I just want to ask if it's definitely needed

Hope everyone enjoys the bank hol!! x

Hope everyone had a lovely bank holiday weekend ☀️😊

@loulamay All Hail Luca! That really made me laugh. Luca’s been a bit quiet this morning mind you but I’ve only given him 3 hours before I’ve started to get a bit twitchy and stressed about the lack of emails 😂
Last thing on Friday, the shippers sent some paperwork to IM for the frozen sperm and said if they need anything else, it will have to come from the London clinic where my OH did the sample (it was during lockdown). The London clinic is now CRGH and not Gennet so I’m not particularly optimistic about them still having us on file 🤦‍♀️☺️
I’ve just decided that if there are any more complications, we’ll just have to ditch the sperm and move the embryos. Hopefully they won’t say they need some info from London about those.

About the ‘thrombophilia mutations’ - I have only ever come across that phrase with Gennet. I’m not sure if it’s a Czech way of wording it, but they mentioned it when it came to stopping the Clexane with my pregnancy with my son. The protocol sheet said to stop it at week 7 unless you knew you had ‘thrombophilia mutations’. I had no idea whether I did or didn’t as I had never been tested for it. Gennet just prescribe Clexane as a matter of course. Anyway I stopped the Clexane at week 7 and all was fine. That’s really good that they’ll test you for it as then you’ll know. I found it very nerve wracking stopping it, like stopping any of the medications I suppose, they feel like a safety blanket don’t they?

Yes my GP ordered the blood tests for free which I was so pleased about. I felt a bit shifty asking but then I thought, well I’ve never had any fertility treatment through the NHS as I was too old to qualify, so budget wise, it must be a drop in the ocean compared to that. I did wonder if I might be peri-menopausal but she asked me about night sweats and hot flushes and I haven’t had any of those. I’m interested to see what the full blood count says. I actually feel much better today as I had a really good nights sleep last night and my OH got up with our little boy this morning before nursery.

@Eggling Happy Birthday to you! Hope you’re having a great time camping, so lovely to get away from it all. With any luck, the weather has held out, it’s not too bad here today.

@pamplemoussee Hope you have a lovely break too, I’m sure it’ll really help with your head. If you’re anything like me, it’s so hard not to keep looking things up and checking things online about testing and embryos etc. I feel much calmer and more relaxed away from home.

We’ve got our appointment tomorrow with the Spanish clinic, which I’m quite excited about. I’ve written a list of questions as I know my head will feel scrambled. I just want to have some dates in mind so we can start planning x

Hello everyone 👋 how are you all?

@KLM25 sorry you've been in limbo but glad Luca is back! Hope the other person is now too?! Good your GP did some bloods for you. I think I am going to ask mine to do a set, mostly to check iron and ferritin levels. I had a major haemorrhage post birth last time with iron infusion etc and haven't had bloods checked since. I think all is okay but I'd like to have a look seeing as we're TTC the natural way for the foreseeable. How did the Spanish appt go?

@Eggling hope you had a lovely birthday and the camping trip went okay! Have you got any appts coming up?

@pamplemoussee hope you have a good time away too. Counselling sounds very sensible, this is such a difficult process. Sorry if I missed it - have you ruled out any more fresh cycles if this is your last embryo? I think we will do one more fresh cycle but I am finding it hard already thinking we'll have to draw the line somewhere.

@loulamay hope you're okay and had a good BH too. Good news your bloods were all okay.

We've got our clinic follow up appt this week so will be interested to see what they say. Hoping to do another fresh cycle next year sometime depending on finance. I've started supplements again so feel like I'm rattling around with all these pills. Husband isn't complaining as much about the au natural approach funnily enough...

Thanks for the idea re bloods @KLM25. I contacted my GP today and they were very happy to do a set for me. Blood test tomorrow morning! Amazed at how helpful and quick they were. I've also ordered a load of ovulation test strips. Never really got on with them pre IVF for our first but figured they can't hurt. I think with that and the bloods and supplements I'll feel like we're doing everything we can from a natural conception perspective.

Great news about the bloods @SErunner! Glad your gp was helpful.

@KLM25 glad you got your bloods done too! All these helpful drs 😅 have you had any more updates from the clinic yet?

@pamplemoussee hope you're having a lovely time away.

I've been back at the clinic already as having some weird bleeding 🙄 when we cancelled the FET I stopped progesterone pessaries but they prescribed provera 10mg for 7 days and said I'd get my period within 5 days of stopping. I started bleeding over the weekend - so while taking the provera - more than spotting hit less than a period, so I went in to the clinic on Tuesday for a scan. My lining is still thick and fluid still there although less. It was a different nurse this time and she said wait two weeks for a bleed and if it doesn't happen go back for an appointment with one of the drs as it's likely I'll need a hysteroscopy. Everything I've read online about provera indicates that because we know th e estrogen has built up my lining I literally have to have a bleed, but it's day 5 today and the spotting I've been having has tailed off. So I'm at a complete loss and very frustrated, I just can't believe even this little thing can't go smoothly. If anyone has any idea what my body might be up to I'm all ears!

Hi ladies, hope everyone’s doing ok.

Thanks @SErunner and @Eggling, yes we had our appointment on Wednesday and with any luck, we can start with my next period in Sept 😊
Everything seems to have come together with the transportation, to my absolute surprise. We were ready to give up on the sperm but on Wed the paperwork suddenly appeared and we got the go ahead from our saviour Luca ☺️ I think he’s just got to send the acceptance document for the sperm but they’re talking about Sept 12th, so we almost have a date! As long as they’ve arrived by the time of transfer, that’s fine apparently and our doctor said she would be happy for me to start the cycle medication even if they hadn’t arrived yet.

Possible delays now are that Chris needs an up to date semen analysis and some blood tests too. I wish we’d both just gone to the GP really but it was hard to find a date with his shifts. Plus I seem to remember it took ages to get the semen analysis appt.
We’re happy to do those privately but I’ve started to worry that we still might be pushed for time. I’ve contacted a fertility clinic here and the local hospital who do it privately (and more cheaply) but no news yet. I might try to call them and see if I can get through. I think Ultrasound Direct do the blood tests but they seem to be £85 each and he needs 5 of them, so much more expensive than anywhere else. If anyone has any tips or advice, I’d be very grateful.
I’m not sure really why he needs all this considering these embryos have been frozen since January but it’s always the way isn’t it?!

Plus I’m just hoping that none of my bloods come back with bad news but our doctor said it wouldn’t be the end of the world to start the medication and have to cancel the cycle, so we think it’s worth the risk if my period comes before all of these results are back. God knows when it will come but hopefully not until at least the 10th.

I have had a very tentative look at Airbnbs in Barcelona but I feel like I can’t let myself get too excited yet especially as we’ve got no idea of dates until my period starts, never mind with all of the other tests we need to get done.

@SErunner Really pleased that your GP was so helpful with your bloods too. It’s great to be able to save a little bit of money here and there 👍😊

@Eggling Sorry to hear you’ve been back at the clinic again. Things are never straightforward are they… I can’t be very helpful I’m afraid as when I’ve had cycles cancelled, I’ve just carried on with the progesterone etc and they’ve called it a probe cycle, so I’ve never had Provera. I’ve heard of it but I’m not certain what it is. 2 weeks seems like a lifetime doesn’t it. The waiting is so frustrating. I’ll keep everything crossed that you have a proper bleed and no need for the hysteroscopy x

@SErunner @Eggling thanks I had a nice break however sometimes I think I'm better when I'm working etc as almost my mind had too much time to think about things!!

I always had in my head we wouldn't do any more after this - after x3 failed transfers does anyone know if your odds of success are reduced as would it have worked by now if it was going to ?! It's so hard though isn't it to draw a line as the reasons of us trying for a sibling are of course still there !

Sounds like things moving in right direction @KLM25

Sorry @Eggling it's never straightforward it seems is it. This probably isn't the same situation at all but I developed a cyst taking some of the meds (I can't remember which ones !) and I had to wait for the cyst to go and to have a bleed and it seemed to take ages for my bleed much longer than they said - really hope it's soon for you

That’s great news that things are moving in the right direction! @KLM25 Sorry I can’t give any advice, I agree it seems unnecessary for him to do all this when the embryos were frozen in Jan. I

@Eggling I’m sorry to hear you’ve had further delays ☹️ You must be so fed-up with it all. I’ve never had to wait for a bleed, although the last withdrawal bleed was super short, I think 3 days or something which I’ve never had. Hope you don’t end up needing a hysteroscopy.

@loulamay I was so sorry to hear about your daughter, I can’t imagine how difficult this year has been for you. What a relief that she’s doing ok and the tumour was benign. Glad you’re finding EMDR helpful, I work in mental health so I know it can be really useful for trauma.

I have started the process of getting rid of some of DD’s clothes, I’ve actually found it ok. There’s some bits that are more sentimental that I’ll never give away but other stuff I just think it’s only clothes and even if through some miracle we do have a sibling it might not be a girl anyway! It’s helped me start to come to terms with DD being an only one.

@pamplemoussee I know what you mean about drawing a line. I don’t think 3 failed transfers is necessarily a be all and end all (I say that as someone with 4!) I think IVF is a bit of a numbers game, although there is obviously an end point for everyone.

Sorry to hear about your bleeding, @Eggling. Have things started properly now? No suggestions from me. Why did they prescribe provera? When I've stopped progesterone I usually bleed 3-4 days after.

@KLM25 glad things are coming together for you! Get the frustration re your husbands tests though - seems very non sensical. When are your bloods due back? My GP said they will only call if there is something out but I think I might ring and ask for a copy of the results for peace of mind.

@pamplemoussee if your 3 FETs we're from the same fresh cycle I think many would say it's unsurprising they all failed as whatever made one fail is likely to be present in the others, if that makes sense. How many fresh cycles have you done?

@Chocoholic85 that sounds like it could be a bit cathartic? A strange part of me feels so pessimistic about having another I just want to get rid of all our baby stuff as I'd feel better with it not in the house. But the other part of me can't face giving it up! I've settled for loaning lots of the big stuff to others for the time being, which helps and feels like I'm helping others too.

We had our follow up with our consultant. He said generally he was pleased with the cycle as we got the same number of eggs and embryos as our first fresh round 3 years ago, just unfortunate they didn't take this time. He suggested we do a sperm dna fragmentation test before any other fresh round we do. Not necessarily because he thinks there is anything wrong (sperm samples have always been v good) but just to check. Feels like that is something we can do. Financially working towards another fresh cycle next spring/summer perhaps. He was generally still quite positive about our chances, which was nice to hear.

@SErunner that sounds promising about your consultation

Anyone any tips what I should be asking in my follow up I've got one at the end of this month and feel abit clueless really

I feel in my clinic they're really lovely but we're just on abit of a production line sometimes - it's nhs clinic

I'd quite like to try a more natural FET where I can just ovulate and not be suppressed - but I don't know if success rates not as good for this ?

This is our first fresh cycle but we got x4 embryos so it just feels something is probably wrong one hasn't taken, just had x1 chemical and there's x1 embryo left

@KLM25 ah it sounds like plans are starting to come together! No tips for the blood tests I'm afraid, I hope you can get them sorted quickly, I know there's always something extra isn't there.

@pamplemoussee everyone is different but I've had 2 failed transfers and a miscarriage and the consultant explicitly told me that he was confident I'd be able to conceive and carry another baby to term. It's such a personal decision though and I think you will know when it's enough for you. In your follow up I'd ask about any testing - I'm not sure what you've had already but after my miscarriage in feb I pushed for the full recurrent miscarriage blood tests and we both had the dna kareotyping tests, maybe I should ask about the speed fragmentation test too.

@SErunner glad your consultation went well and you have a plan in place - sometimes it feels like that's half the battle! Always nice to hear positivity about your chances too.

I'm still not bleeding and absolutely no sign - if anything I had a bit of EWCM last night so I have no idea what my body's doing. I've got a bit of an emotional wall and basically spent the weekend crying my eyes out, I sent a long rambling crazy lady email to the clinic on Saturday because I'm so so sick of the delays, we're coming up to the due date and I still haven't even been able to try for a baby, and I feel like there must be something seriously wrong with either my hormones or my uterus as things just keep going so off piste but they don't seem to be fussed about finding out what it is. I've also begged them not to put me back on the pill, that's always what they do to bring on a bleed and firstly the pill has never agreed with me and always makes me feel ill and brings me out in a rash and secondly I just psychologically can't deal with being on contraception when we're so desperately TTC, I've essentially been in contraception for about 10 months in the last year and I hate it. I'm hoping someone calls me today but I don't know, I'm finding it really hard at the moment.

@pamplemoussee regarding FETs I think the natural modified approach has fractionally better outcomes than a medicated cycle but it's not a huge difference. Our consultant said it is really doing whatever cycle works best for you. If you have regular cycles and ovulate I would have thought they'd be happy for you to do a natural modified one? If not medicated would be better.

Re what to ask the clinic. If you are feeling very time pressured I would ask them whether it is worth transferring the last embryo from this cycle or if you would be better off doing another fresh round. Having had 3 from one fresh round fail I would think the likelihood of success with your last one is lower (sorry). Along these lines, I would ask them what they would suggest you do before another fresh round eg further test and also if they would change anything about that round. If you aren't feeling time pressured (I can't recall your age) then transferring the last one is probably reasonable. Unfortunately from everything I've read it really is the embryo that dictates what happens - it's either going to take or not and there isn't really anything you can do to change those chances.

@Eggling I'm sorry you've still not had a bleed. That must be so frustrating. Did your clinic explain why they keep putting you back on these meds? I haven't ever been given anything like that. I can understand why you don't want to be on it. I generally opt to be on as little medication as possible, and being on contraception when TTC seems a bit bonkers!

Sorry @pamplemoussee I had forgotten you hadn't been planning another fresh cycle. I didn't mean to be insensitive with my comments.