TTC no.2 after successful IVF for no.1

[Chocoholic85]

Hi,
I’m just after some advice and to see whether anyone is in the same boat!
Just found out that my 3rd FET failed.
We are very lucky to have DD who came from our first fresh transfer. We were also very fortunate to get 5 frozen embryos from that round so have been trying for a sibling. 1st FET was BFN, 2nd was a chemical pregnancy/early miscarriage and 3rd now is failed. Down to the last two and starting to feel the pressure and also wondering why on earth it isn’t working?!
We have unexplained infertility so nothing was ever found with our initial tests and I was 34 when we had out first IVF round so odds were in our favour. I read somewhere that at 34 around 50% of embryos are abnormal so I guess out our 6 maybe the last 3 were all abnormal. I’m also worried something has changed since I had to have a csection for DD. I did have an ultrasound which showed the scar had healed fine and there no niches, I’m wondering if there are adhesions that might not have been seen on the ultrasound though.
Would love to hear any advice for what to do next or from anyone else in a similar position. Thanks x

Good strategy with not buying and tests @Chocoholic85. I also don't Lee any in the house! The TWW is just awful isn't it. I'm normally okay the first half but find the second half a nightmare. I also don't test early for the same reason - I know I wouldn't be convinced until the outcome on test day as would keep hoping, so there isn't much point.

@KLM25 glad it hasn't been as difficult a process as it sounds. The money thing is so odd isn't it. You just get so used to handing over thousands of pounds!! I collected meds from the pharmacy the other week and it was about £180. The pharmacist looked worried and was saying 'oh gosh it's quite expensive I'm afraid'. I barely batted an eyelid 😂

I'm finding the progynova I'm now on awful. Did anyone else get horrendous headaches on it? They were so bad yesterday I had to call in sick to work. Im feeling pretty nauseous too although can cope with that. I'm waiting on a call back from the clinic to speak with them about it. I don't know if there are any alternatives? I've got a scan booked for next Wed day 10 to see how things are looking.

Just to add I feel more confident doing a medicated cycle to be honest. It sounds silly but I just don't have much faith in my body to do the right things anymore, so I feel happier knowing the medication will control it all. I was happy to try the natural one once but just don't think I can cope with the stress and uncertainty of it. My body has always done what it's supposed to when medications been involved before so hoping it does the same this time!

Sorry to hear you’ve been feeling rubbish on the progynova @SErunner . I’ve never had a problem with it but when I’ve done tablets plus estrogen patches I’ve reacted really badly. I think it was the dose I started on though as was double of that tablets alone. Are you feeling any better now?

I tested today, 2 days early but couldn’t keep torturing myself. BFN. There were times in this TWW where I honestly thought it had worked, had so many symptoms that I had when pregnant with DD, goes to show how your mind plays tricks on you!

Feeling really gutted as I don’t know what else to do. We’re down to our last frozen embryo now. I just wish I understood why it wasn’t working. I think I naively thought it would easier trying for a sibling. How wrong I was! I don’t know how much more I’ve got in me to keep going with it. I think I have to use the last embryo but equally I’m fed up for throwing money at this and feeling like shit.

Hello. I'm on another thread for IVF transfers in Jul/Aug but I've seen you lovely ladies as well and you all seem in more of a similar boat to me so I hope you don't mind if I join. If it helps I also used to run half marathons, am doing couch to 5k with Denise (when I say 'doing'... ahem), had a c-section, and have a 2-year-old. Hahaha!

@Chocoholic85 I feel like we might have been on another thread together but I can't remember which one.

Our daughter was born in Oct 21 after two natural miscarriages, then starting IVF, a failed fresh transfer, chemical, and then a miscarriage, so she was transfer #4. We actually had our remaining embryos (we had 6 left at that point) PGS tested because I couldn't face another loss and she was the first of 3 euploid embryos.

Added complication: we used to live in Cape Town then relocated to the UK, and it was going to cost £6000 to fly the embryos over so we all came out as a family in March for the next transfer, but it didn't take. I think that might have been the hardest loss so far - I was so convinced that because it had worked before and we knew it was a euploid embryo, that it would just work again.

I'm currently in Cape Town now but by myself (never doing that again) and we're transferring our last frostie on Monday. It's taken longer than expected because my lining didn't respond as quickly to the Estrogen so we had to wait a week for it to get past 8mm.

Utterly terrified is this one doesn't work for several reasons. 1) I look at our daughter and feel so completely heartbroken that we might not give her a sibling or have a second baby, 2) I'm 43 so doing another egg retrieval at my age is statistically rubbish and 3) the money. oh the money.

"I think I naively thought it would easier trying for a sibling. How wrong I was! I don’t know how much more I’ve got in me to keep going with it. I think I have to use the last embryo but equally I’m fed up for throwing money at this and feeling like shit."

This. I feel this in my bones.

I'm so sorry you've had a BFN @Chocoholic85. It's an awful experience, take care of yourself and feel and be however you need to the next few days. Your mind totally plays tricks on you, it's so cruel. Thinking of you and sending huge hugs. I totally agree with your exhaustion with the whole thing. It's so tiring and relentless. Totally understand wanting to use your last embryo, hard to know whether to just get on and plough through or take a break? How many transfers have you done now?

I am similarly feeling fed up with this whole thing even though this will only be our second transfer TTC a sibling. We were so lucky first time it's hard to not assume the same will happen this time! We had thought we would do another fresh round next year but with the financial situation the way it is and with all the stress and faff with these rounds, I am tempted to draw a line under it if this transfer doesn't work. I just can't keep making life so difficult for us all. It's exhausting lying to work, friends etc, trying to scrape the money together, not being able to afford anything enjoyable. I think perhaps I'd rather just leave it and enjoy what we have. Can't work out if I'm 'there' yet though. Hoping I'll have a clearer feeling once we know the outcome of this transfer cycle.

I'm feeling better on the progynova thankfully. Headaches have mostly gone, just a bit tired and nauseous. Scan tomorrow, all being well will start progesterone and be looking at transfer early next week.

Welcome @loulamay! Sounds like you'll fit right in! Sorry for being doom and gloom, just feeling very over this all right now. I think I'll be on for a transfer on a Monday if my scan is okay tomorrow so we'll be on the same timeline. This is our last embryo too, so I empathise with the pressure. I'm sorry your journey has been so complex and difficult. It must be really tough being in Cape Town on your own. When are you due to fly back?

@SErunner Not at all, I feel your pain! Let us know how your scan goes.

@Chocoholic85 I mis-read your post and thought you had tested earlier than you would have been expecting to see a line. I'm so sorry. This whole process is relentlessly awful at times.

I'm flying home the evening after my transfer. Talked to my Dr and did some reading and although everyone says you could travel the same day it feels better to me to have one day just relaxing and then travel the next. So I'll test at home and then will have to see if I can find somewhere private to do a beta test for me, should we even get to that stage.

Just read my message back and it wasn't clear - the transfer is on Monday at 11am and I fly home Tuesday in the evening. Too much stress to be ready to also travel after being at the clinic the same morning!

@Chocoholic85 I’m so sorry to hear about the BFN 😔 I know exactly how you feel - I was convinced that I had all the symptoms after a couple of my transfers earlier this year. It then made it so much harder to see the single line on the test. I even started to wonder if the test was from a faulty batch but of course it wasn’t. Our minds definitely play tricks on us but of course we want to stay hopeful too 😏 I’m really sorry anyway and sending lots of love.
When is your OTD? Do you need to go to your clinic for a blood test or will they accept the home test? I always felt like it was running salt into the wound having to pay privately for a beta test when I already knew the result. Hopefully you won’t have to do that with your clinic being close by.

@SErunner I’m glad you’re feeling better and the headaches are gone. Fingers crossed for your scan and everything going to plan 🤞

Welcome @loulamay good to hear from you. Sounds like you’ve been through the mill as well. I’m keeping everything crossed for your transfer on Monday. I can relate to some extent as I’ve had all my treatment so far at a clinic in Prague (not quite as far as Cape Town I know 😊). I’ve never flown back the same night although I have considered it. I think you’re doing the right thing to rest afterwards. There’s definitely not much chance to rest with a toddler around is there? ❤️ So I always think it makes sense to rest whilst you can.
I’m also doing Couch to 5K in a similar fashion to you 🤦‍♀️☺️ I was determined to make it past week 6 this time but I’m already going to have to repeat week 3 as I’ve had a tummy bug over the wkend and haven’t ran since Thursday! I feel good when I do get out there so I suppose that’s what counts x

I think anything counts when we're going through all this @KLM25 👍 well done for what you've achieved so far with the running. I am still trying to go 2-3 times per week but sometimes really just don't feel like it. I think the progynova has been making me extra tired at the moment.

@loulamay it must be really tough being on your own out there. Do you have any friends/family to spend time with? Sounds like a good plan to give yourself a breather after transfer and then fly home.

I'm feeling marginally better as my scan went well today. Lining is 10.6mm and trilaminar. They have done some bloods to double check hormone levels given my odd last cycle but all
being well planning transfer on Thurs. Surprised at the gap given how my lining is today but they seem happy with that. I've got to go for a blood test again the day before to check progesterone levels and start cyclogest on Sat.

@KLM25 Thank you - curious to hear about your experience in Prague. I have been looking at European clinics in case this transfer fails and Brno Reprofit seems to have a really good reputation and specifically talk about over 40 patients on their website. I am on week 4 of couch to 5k but rest assured it's not happened in four weeks haha. We have a running buggy as well now so I have even less excuse!

@SErunner yes, thankfully lots of girlfriends from when we used to live here and I know my way around which helps. Had a massage this afternoon at one of our favourite spots which was so lovely. Lining is awesome!! you are ready to go! Is cyclogest a progesterone? I only know drugs by their SA brand names 😂

Went to see a friend earlier and she helped me do the first progesterone in oil injection tonight. Didn't hurt at all which makes me wonder if we did it right but there we go!

Yes cyclogest is progesterone. They said if at the blood test next week my progesterone isn't high enough they will add in an injection as well. Not needed that before though so hoping it will be okay.

Really glad you've got some support there at least and hopefully you can try and make the most of the days you're there, albeit hard to with all this on your mind I'm sure!

We have a running buggy but it's so much harder to take her out in it as she gets heavier 😂 we've got dogs as well so I tend to run with them more than my daughter!

I'm just catching up, so sorry you've had a bfn @Chocoholic85. It's so shit and unfair. I hope you're being well cared for.

@loulamay and @SErunner both gearing up for transfer! Sending you lots of positive thoughts.

I have a few days left on the pill (bleurgh) before hopefully starting this FET round. Trying to think positively but with so many negative experiences now it's not easy, and feeling the pressure of only having the one embryo.

Hi @Eggling - sorry you're feeling the pressure. What will your protocol be for this FET? The friend who did my injection last night asked me if I was excited about my transfer and I honestly couldn't muster any. It's a combination of self-preservation to ward against disappointment and the mental fatigue of just going through the same motions again, I think. Not fun. Not fun at all.

In other news the sun is at least shining strongly here so I'm going to try and get some vitamin D today before I have to come back to the rainy British summer!

Hi @loulamay, I'll just be on estrogen tablets and progesterone pessaries, no injections but slightly increased dose of both to four a day from the start (we upped my dose last time after my positive test but before I started bleeding and eventually miscarried). I'm exactly the same, I obviously want a baby and to be pregnant more than anything but I almost can't get too attached to this transfer because I don't want to get my heart broken again. I'm trying to tell myself that out of four FETs to date I've had two positive tests (one successful pregnancy) so chances are decent, but it doesn't actually help in reality does it? I think ultimately I just don't want to be doing ivf at all, i want to be able to have a baby the old fashioned way, so I'm a bit resentful of the whole process even though I'm actively pursuing it because of the end goal 🙄

I hope the sun is helping you! Finally had a break in the rain here today so I'm going to get out for a quick walk at lunchtime to try and get my mood up a bit 😊

@Eggling I don't want to be doing IVF either. I totally get the feelings of resentment. I have random thoughts sometimes about all the people who get pregnant accidentally or whilst on drugs or who knows what and I just can't believe how much we have had to struggle to even get a chance at it. Will always, always be grateful to science for our daughter, but having to face the thought that she might be an only child is something I'm finding really hard.

Positive pants on though! Embryo transfer tomorrow. It's a 4BB, euploid embryo, so only one grade different to our successful pregnancy, and was from an egg collection when I was younger. No reason why it shouldn't work!

@SErunner will be thinking of you too. Do your clinic do betas?

Hi ladies, hope you’re all having a good weekend.
@SErunner and @loulamay not long until your transfers now ❤️ It sounds like all has been going well in the run up so that’s great. That’s good to hear about the PIO injection @loulamay, I’ve never had it but it’s supposed to be the best way of absorbing it isn’t it? Keeping everything crossed for you both.

@Eggling I know just what you mean about it being hard to stay hopeful. I’ve always been quite positive, thinking it’s bound to work if we keep on trying, but the last couple of weeks or so, I’ve felt a lot more down about it. I’m glad really that they didn’t find anything really wrong with the Emma/Era/Alice but I can’t help thinking, what if there actually is something wrong and they just haven’t found out what it is. It’s such a difficult balance between searching for a diagnosis against the pragmatism of knowing that not all embryos will work.

We’ve all been ill this week and there have been quite a few sleepless nights so I think that’s probably adding to my low mood! On a brighter note, the shipper said that he’s hoping to arrange the transportation of the embryos for the last week in Aug/first week in Sept so that cheered me.
I had a routine smear on Fri too so I’m pleased to get that done. Fingers crossed it comes back ok.

@loulamay I’ve heard really good things about Reprofit. We actually went to Gennet in Prague as it was recommended by a friend. We’ll always be grateful to them for giving us our son. We had a wonderful coordinator too and I built up a great relationship with her. There were a few communication problems at times and we did change doctors when we had the second cycle, but I get the feeling that’s true of a lot of clinics. It was actually lovely to travel to Prague too and I think it’ll always be quite a special place for us.

@Chocoholic85 Hope you’re doing ok and have been looking after yourself ❤️ Xx

@Eggling I've just been on oestrogen tablets and progesterone suppositories for this one too. Wishing you well. When is your period due?

@loulamay good luck for tomorrow. They scheduled my transfer for Thurs so we'll be a bit out of kilter. Ours is a 4BB as well though, from our fresh round in May. Also trying to put my positive pants on as I've been feeling really negative about it. But there is no reason it shouldn't have a chance, so need to get in a good mindset! Making the most of the last few runs I can do before Thurs. it's a double whammy having the stress of the TWW and not being able to exercise.

@KLM25 sorry you've all been ill, it's a nightmare when no one's feeling good! Glad you've had good news about the transport though. Hope you're all feeling better soon?

Is anyone else so done with this weather?! Seriously running out of wet weather ideas 😂

How are you all? I've been for a blood test today to check progesterone levels then back tomorrow for transfer so long as the embryo defrosts okay 🤞 feeling more positive that hormone levels and lining are good, just hoping for the best. I'll have to test a day early as OTD will be a Mon and I know I won't manage work if it's negative, but that will be 10dp5dt so I think it would be pretty conclusive by then? Hope you're all okay x

Hi all - I'm back home after my South Africa trip (so relieved to be back) and am 3dp5dt at the moment. Have had some cramping which I'm putting down to the progesterone, otherwise feeling fine and just wishing the days away until I can test! I always think this is the worst part.

@SErunner I have NO idea how you will have that much self-restraint because I will probably start testing in two days but well done! By day 10 you will hopefully have a lovely strong line!

Hi all, welcome home @loulamay and hope transfer went / goes well @SErunner! Hoping the next 10 days pass quickly and bring you those precious two lines.

I am going out of my mind waiting for AF to start. I've been spotting for the last 24 hours but it won't actually get going and I'm worried it's not going to come properly and mess the cycle up. We are meant to be visiting in laws this weekend which is stressing me out as if I need a scan over the weekend obviously we can't go but I can't arrange that until AF arrives and everyone keeps asking if we are going 🤯 very self indulgent whinge if me but my god why can't just one little thing be smooth and simple?!

Yes welcome home @loulamay! It must be good to be back?! Especially with the very special cargo on board. Glad your transfer went okay. I take my hat off to everyone who tests early! I couldn't cope with the not knowing for definite - would rather not know at all! That said I think if I start bleeding again I will test. I knew it hadn't worked last time and continuing the pessaries etc was so futile and really affected my mental health. I started bleeding 6dp last time so that's my first milestone. Think I'll feel more positive if I get past there 🤞 I had cramping with both my successful and my non-successful transfer which makes me think symptoms mean nothing! It's all such a head f**k isn't it.

@Eggling I feel your pain. It just doesn't ever feel like anything is straight forward or simple does it? Always a complication or a faff! Hope AF arrives soon for you

Hi all - @SErunner how did your transfer go? Any progress @Eggling ?

So delighted to be home - never want to be away from my little one for that long ever again! (husband too but much easier haha).

Am now 6dp5dt and have had some mild cramping, pulling kind of feelings on left-hand side which I hoped might be implantation, but tested this morning and a stark white negative, even on a First Response which I know are super sensitive.

Trying not to give up ALL hope yet, but it was today that I first got a faint line with my daughter and I can't help but compare. Suspect any symptoms could be put down to the progesterone in any case!

Sigh. Am going to keep testing but by day 8 if it's still negative then I think it's safe to say I'm out. Which would mean that two euploid, 4BB embryos have failed to stick, and that concerns me...

Hi everyone, sorry I’ve been a bit quiet, had a few full on days of work this week.
@loulamay I’m sorry to hear about your stark white test 😏 I’ve had a few of those this year and it never gets any easier to see it. Hopefully it’s just because it’s too early, I’m keeping everything crossed for good news in a few days time. Welcome home anyway, I’m sure everyone was so pleased to see you ❤️
@SErunner Hope your transfer went smoothly and the days are passing quickly!
@Eggling Hope your AF has finally arrived… It’s such a nightmare needing to plan things around things that you have no control over! Mine was supposed to start yesterday but no sign of it. It’s not the end of the world but I’ve told our new clinic that it was supposed to start yesterday and based on that and the predicted date of my next AF, they had said we can aim for a Sept transfer. This will be the first proper AF since my post-biopsy bleed so I’m worried it could take ages and throw out all the timings 😏

We’re all fine, fully recovered, for now anyway ☺️ Just waiting for one last bit of info to be able to complete the consent forms for transporting the frozen sperm. We’ve done all the paperwork for our embryos already but this has just delayed things. I’ve got an online consultation booked for Aug 30th with our doctor at the Spanish clinic. Keeping everything crossed that we can get a transfer planned in for Sept 🤞 I’ll feel so much better when I know that our embryos have made it to Barcelona and are all safe and sound there, waiting for us x

@loulamay sorry to hear about your negative test, it is still early although I totally understand it's hard not to lose hope. Keeping everything crossed that a second line shows up for you over the next couple of days 🤞🤞🤞🤞

@KLM25 sounds like progress! I hope you AF shows up so you can get planning!

Mine finally arrived Thursday night so Friday was day 1, rang the clinic first thing to book a scan and they said they'd call back, i then took DD out to a national trust place nearby not realising there was no signal there 🙄 had just bought her an ice cream when I got some signal and picked up the message that I had my scan appointment half an hour later, cue mad dash back to the car during which the ice cream was lost to the car park floor which obviously went down well with a harried toddler! There were two cyst-like things on my ovaries at the scan so was worried we wouldn't be able to go ahead but bloods came back fine so started the estradiol tablets on Saturday and have another scan on Friday. Trying to think positive thoughts but it's not easy is it - none of this is.

Very grey and wet Monday here - hope you all have some either literal or metaphorical sunshine today x

@Eggling Really glad your AF arrived - you did make me smile when you described the mad panic of the voicemail, the ice cream and your toddler ☺️ I can just imagine ❤️ Everything is so time sensitive isn’t it, nothing happens, nothing happens and then everything happens and we have to snap into action! Did you take your toddler to the scan? That’s another difficult juggle isn’t it? We took our little boy to Prague when he was 10 months for that second transfer but my OH was quite stressed trying to keep him happy so we haven’t taken him since. They were absolutely fine with us taking him into the IVF clinic which was another thing I felt slightly funny about! Nobody seemed to mind though.
Since then, I’ve been over there on my own and on one occasion, he stayed with my MIL. I’d love to take him to Barcelona but Chris isn’t keen to.
It’s just another reason to want to get planning, my MIL is always happy to have him but she has our nieces on a Tues and a Thurs so it makes things more complicated. I’m sure we’ll figure it out.
I’m still waiting for my AF and getting more impatient by the day 😂

Yes it was horrible here yesterday too. We went to meet a friend at a garden centre so managed to get out of the house without getting too wet thankfully 😊 Hope everyone is doing ok and has some sunshine today x