TTC no.2 after successful IVF for no.1

[Chocoholic85]

Hi,
I’m just after some advice and to see whether anyone is in the same boat!
Just found out that my 3rd FET failed.
We are very lucky to have DD who came from our first fresh transfer. We were also very fortunate to get 5 frozen embryos from that round so have been trying for a sibling. 1st FET was BFN, 2nd was a chemical pregnancy/early miscarriage and 3rd now is failed. Down to the last two and starting to feel the pressure and also wondering why on earth it isn’t working?!
We have unexplained infertility so nothing was ever found with our initial tests and I was 34 when we had out first IVF round so odds were in our favour. I read somewhere that at 34 around 50% of embryos are abnormal so I guess out our 6 maybe the last 3 were all abnormal. I’m also worried something has changed since I had to have a csection for DD. I did have an ultrasound which showed the scar had healed fine and there no niches, I’m wondering if there are adhesions that might not have been seen on the ultrasound though.
Would love to hear any advice for what to do next or from anyone else in a similar position. Thanks x

Enjoy your run @SErunner! Might head out myself later once we're home, although weather warning here in the north west today so we'll see.

Happy new year everybody - fingers crossed this is the one for us all.

Happy new year to you all!

@edf I hope you are ok. I remember breaking down when my SIL announced she was pregnant (not long after our first failed round of ivf). It is so tough and always heightened around the holidays I feel. Sending big hugs!

@Eggling it's just so tough and so hard in situations like that. I hope you managed the rest of your trip ok and it was enjoyable in parts.

@SErunner happy new year!! Love to hear that we are able to relax and enjoy ourselves with a few drinks! Good on you going out for a run!! We did exactly the same over Christmas and I now feel ready to go for our rollercoaster of 2024!!

After my cancelled cycle I've been having such bad hot flushes. They are killing me overnight as they are waking me up regularly. Did anyone experience these after failed cycles? I'm assuming it's the prostrap injection.

Hope everyone had a lovely Christmas and new year!

Happy New Year to everyone. I’m sorry to hear about the tough moments of Christmas. I can never understand the motivation behind Christmas pregnancy announcements. I suppose people just get swept up in it all and forget all about anyone else and how it might make them feel 😏

Wishing everyone a wonderful 2024, a new year full of possibilities and hope x

How's everyone doing? I've failed so far with the healthy eating this year due to the abundance of leftover Christmas snacks 😂 but have done well with the running and am feeling good in myself. We've had some discussions with our mortgage advisor and might look to start our next round of IVF sooner than originally planned, perhaps March time. Feels horribly soon in some ways! Need to get my husbands dna fragmentation test done first thought so going to get on to booking that today. Hope you are all okay x

I've been running too @SErunner - nothing more than 5k a few times a week but it's lovely after so long out of the game. I have a scan tomorrow morning then all being well will start injections tomorrow for this round. We're doing it a bit differently and starting stims on day 5 this time - consultant reckons it can be helpful for anovulatory pcos like mine. He is also basically convinced that our issue is abnormal embryos, likely caused by the pcos. So we will be PGT testing any embryos we get. I'm looking forward to starting but also terrified, and worried about the financial strain as this round will obliterate our savings. I just hope we get a few decent embryos so we have a good chance.

I'm glad you're feeling good! I so hope this is the year for us both 🤞🤞🤞

Happy January everyone! So happy to hear about the running - if only I wasn't STILL feeling ill I might have joined you ;-) Actually went to the GP this morning about my persistent cough and although he listened to my chest and it was clear, he wants to do a chest x-ray just to check for pneumonia or anything. FFS.

Worried of course, that being not on top form will have an impact on egg retrieval but what can you do?! It's looking like I will start stims again at the end of January with ER early Feb. So interesting about the day 5 thing @Eggling - here's hoping it helps! I know the PGT testing is expensive but I think I've said before that for me, it was protection against future miscarriages and hopefully you'll be in a better place knowing that your transfers are with healthy embryos!

Nice to hear from you both! @Eggling that's really interesting re starting stims day 5, i'd not heard of that before. PGT sounds like a good plan but I can understand the worry. We're remortgaging for this next round and unless one of us gets a promotion that really will be pushing us back to our borrowing limit for at least another 12 months. So difficult to have the added financial stress too.

@loulamay hope your CXR goes okay. There have been some horrible viral bugs around, we had a nasty one pre Christmas that is still lingering. Excited for you that you're starting again soon! Hopefully you'll be feeling better by then too 🤞

@loulamay sorry you've been so poorly, I hope the x-ray is clear. As @SErunner there seem to be a few nasty bugs around at the moment so hopefully "just" one of the ose lingering and it'll soon be gone! Great that you have a timescale for getting going again, I always find that helpful.

@SErunner I know, the financial side of things is rough, especially given mortgage rates etc at the moment. We are also looking to move house this year so feeling very uncertain about everything! Some days I think we'll be fine and others it all feels a bit much, but we'll muddle through.

First injection done last night! What are your views on running during stims? I know about the risk of torsion etc and don't think I'll feel up to it later on anyway, but wondering about getting our a couple of times over the next few days. My acupuncturist would rather not as she says it draws energy / blood away from the ovaries but I don't want to lose the fitness I've built the last few weeks, especially as we'll be doing a FET so I'll have a few weeks after collection to prepare for that.

@Eggling @IslandsintheOcean @SErunner @TTC6 @KLM25 thanks! I knew you lovely ladies would understand! It’s such a crappy feeling as obviously your happy for them but it really does bring out the sadness of the situation currently facing- I’ve been hibernating till returning to work Monday so I’m glad to be back to normality and over the shock of it all!

@Eggling that sounds like such a tough situation, well done for getting through it, I would have been the exact same!

hope everyone else had a fab festive period! And good luck to the first treatments of the year! Hopefully won’t be far behind you!

@Eggling I ran up to and including day of transfer for both my successful and unsuccessful fresh rounds. Frankly I felt it would do my mental health good and was happy to take the very minor risk of torsion. My consultant was happy for me to continue exercising as normal. As a small caveat I have low AMH and low number of follicles on stims (6 both times).

@Edf hibernating sounds good. Definitely the weather for it! And yes a bit of normality definitely helps too xx

Great to hear from you @Edf - hibernating sounds like just the right thing for you to have done!

That's interesting @SErunner. I went out yesterday and thinking I will again over the weekend then see how I feel next week. I should do some yoga really but whilst I go through phases with it it just doesn't give me the same hit as a run in the fresh air!

Hey ladies, just want to share what I thought would be good news but has turn out horrendous. During my Nov cycle (started withdrawal bleed on 14th from fresh cycle failure) we managed to conceive naturally- don’t no how, don’t no when as it wasn’t really thinking about it, still grieving the failed Ivf. Anyways long story short for some unknown reason I decided to test on 2 jan (oh also thought I had what was a normal af on 12 dec hence no suspicion) screamed positive at me, was beyond shocked, couldn’t believe my eyes!
rang the Ivf clinic (as I was waiting for thyroid and lupus test results) basically to be like wtf, they got me in on 3 jan for beta (40,000!) then scanned on the 4th- as I had no clue when I ov’d I’m assuming they thought with hcg that high we will be golden- anyways saw gs, ys, fp (3.4mm) no hb. Sheer panick, cue to days of torturous wait which ended yest- at rescan- heartbeat seen! Relief! Until they said it had growth to only 7.6mm in 10 days (3 days growth) and now have to wait till next Monday for final scan- if it isn’t 12mm by then it’s a mmc. Doctor gives odds of less the 1 in 10 chance so here I am- unable to sleep, feeling numb and desperately sad, thought I never had to go through all this again, and not even with full closure yet (but self preservation won’t allow me to hold onto hope here) and thinking how much of this can a person take! I’m planning on taking some time off work and hopefully see the doctor today about anxiety but I really just don’t know how to navigate this. Anyways sorry long post, hope everyone else is well

Ah @Edf I'm so sorry you're going through this, I'll keep hoping for a miracle for you. Sending lots of love 🧡

Hi everyone - how are you all doing? would love to hear your updates.

@Edf I'm so so sorry - that all sounds incredibly hard. Let us know about the results of your scan if you want to share.

@KLM25 @IslandsintheOcean dying to hear your news! how far along are you both? Have you found out genders?

@Eggling have you started stims yet? I've started spotting which normally means period in about 3-4 days so I'll likely by stims day 1 around the end of this weekend.

Storm Isha hit us hard! we had no power from 10am-4pm yesterday and today it went out around 9:30 and came back about an hour ago. Thank god for candles and our woodburner!

Hi @loulamay, exciting that you're starting stims soon! Hoping it all goes smoothly for you.

I had egg collection on Saturday which went well and we got 20 eggs. Felt rotten after, really nauseous and my stomach has been swollen like crazy but deflating now. Of the 20, 16 were mature and 15 fertilised. Day three call yesterday and 11 are developing well (9 at grade 1, 2 at grade 2), 3 have grown a bit but unlikely to catch up an done hasn't done anything. So just waiting for our final numbers tomorrow and hoping we have a decent handful to pgt test and freeze 🤞

Hope everyone else is doing alright - been thinking of you @Edf

Those are amazing numbers @Eggling ! thrilled for you!

Thanks @loulamay - still a long way to go but a vast improvement on the last two rounds! Just really hope we have a decent embryo or two at the end of it all.

@Edf I'm so sorry. How have you been the last few days? Sorry if that's a silly question, it must be horrendous. Thinking of you.

@loulamay are you all okay following the storm? No major damage? It wasn't too bad here. Quite a few trees down and a lot of rubbish blown around everywhere but that was about it!

@Eggling wow fantastic numbers! Hope you're starting to feel better now? How was the day 5 update? Usual question, anything different this cycle to get so many?!

I'm still toying with when to do our next round. Thinking maybe March but that feels soon! I can feel myself getting more keen to try again though so think I'll hit the bullet and book an appt soon.

We're having a tough time with our daughter (2.5) at the moment. Her behaviour at nursery has worsened with her grabbing and hitting other children seemingly out of the blue. They moved the older children out of her room to the pre school at the beginning of the year and have brought up a lot of just turned 2s to her room. She's now notably the biggest/oldest bar 1 other and, without wanting to be 'that parent', I'm wondering if she's just bored and frustrated. Without wanting to sound like a knob her communication is pretty amazing for her age (has spoken fluently in sentences since before she was 2) and she is very 'on the ball' about everything. The new children just seem so little and baby ish compared to her (not speaking much etc) and she doesn't seem as happy. No idea what to do about it, she's got another 6 months in the room!! Sorry for the waffle, it's on my mind a lot as I don't want her being labelled the 'naughty child'. We're doing all the kind hands chat, talking about feelings, mimicking kind behaviour and praising her kindness a lot. She's fine with us and when she's with my mum for the most part, most of the children she spends time with are the same age or a bit older. I'm going to meet with nursery but realistically not sure what they can do either.

@Edf - oh what a rollercoaster. That’s so much to take in - each day feels like a lifetime. No pressure but here for an update when you’re ready. So hard to know so much so early - it lengthens everything.

@Eggling - that’s amazing. What a great response to treatment. It’s so odd how we respond to different rounds. Fingers & toes crossed for lots of lovely embryos and for your to have the family you want.

@SErunner - our twins fight and it really brings out something primal in me, I can’t bear it. It’s so tough when it’s at nursery. It’s definitely great you’re on it and looking for solutions. She’s clearly frustrated- that’s when I see lashing out so hopefully the nursery can work with you for solutions. Not easy.

@loulamay - good luck with the stims. Each injection takes you a step closer. Hope things go well for this cycle.

15 weeks now. Didn’t realise until good scan at booking appointment how much I was clearly holding my breath about the pregnancy. We had a pregnancy years ago that was fine at 7 weeks and loss by 11 weeks. So my body must remember that anxiety.

I was googling the stats of course and were near 99% ok now. Had a cousin who went to routine appt in Dec at 16 weeks and no heartbeat so that reminds me nothing is certain.

We've started to share the news - especially now that I’m showing.

Hard to believe we went from 10+ plus of infertility to 3 under 3. There must be a middle ground somewhere. 🫣

You all know it’s a tricky path to navigate but we’re feeling very fortunate but not taking it for granted. So many days/ months / years we never thought it would happen for us so it reminds me to hope against the odds.

Hoping that the odds are in your favour.

Hi everyone
@Edf I was so sorry to read your update, it sounds like you’ve had an incredibly tough time, such an emotional rollercoaster. I hope you’re doing ok.

@loulamay Fantastic that you’re ready to start again, hopefully everything’s going as planned and you’ve been able to start the meds this weekend. Hope you’ve been able to clear up after the storm too! Candles and a wood burner sound very romantic and cosy but I’m sure it wasn’t that easy!

@Eggling Wow, those are fabulous numbers, you must be so pleased ❤️ Hope everything has continued to go well with the final results.

@SErunner That’s brilliant, March is no time away and that’s a real step forward to feel that you’re ready to start again. I’m sorry to hear that you’re worried about your daughter. It sounds like you’re doing all the right things, so if it’s come out of the blue, hopefully it’s just a short phase and things will settle down again just as quickly.

@IslandsintheOcean That’s fantastic news, I’m just over 15 weeks too. 16 weeks on Thursday.

I think I’ve had about 5 scans 🤦‍♀️ We went for one yesterday - mainly because I stopped all the medication about 10 days ago and I just wanted some reassurance that it hadn’t changed anything. There was some uncertainty about whether or not I could stop the Clexane so I felt a little bit nervous about it. Anyway, everything was ok and it feels like that was quite a big milestone. I’m trying to feel a little bit more confident and enjoy it (despite the fact I’m yet to feel that second trimester glow!) but I’m so aware of everything that could still go wrong.

We are going to find out the gender - probably with a private scan in a couple of weeks. Our families know when the 20 wk scan is happening so we just kind of wanted to be able to find out before that and have something between the two of us for a little while. We haven’t told our little boy yet, I suspect it might go in one ear and out of the other! We’ll see x

We ended up with 6 embryos - a 5BB and five 3BB. I'm a little disappointed with the grading (DD was 5AA so my only frame of reference for one working my is a top grade) but accept it's a good position to be in for testing.

We also had the genetic testing come back from the miscarriage in November which was clear so now I'm feeling confused as we've been working on the basis that the embryos are the issue. I'm actually in the waiting room at the hospital waiting to see the dr that did that testing now so can ask her I guess, plus arranging to discuss with our clinic when we get the pgt results back in a few weeks. It's been a bit of a knock as I was expecting the results to say the embryo could never have become a baby but now it feels like we're in the unknown again.

@SErunner we did picsi this time round which possibly made the difference for fertilisation? I honestly don't know though.

Sorry you're having a hard time with DD. I don't have advice but solidarity - mine has dropped her nap but isn't sleeping any longer at night and honestly some days are just awful. She's apparently great at nursery but I get hit and kicked all the time, I just don't know what to do about it as I think she knows she's not meant to but just doesn't care 🤷🏻‍♀️

@IslandsintheOcean and @KLM25 lovely to hear from you both and so glad things are going well 🥰

@Eggling as you know I'm a fan of Robert Winston 😂 he pretty much rubbishes grading, so definitely try not to feel deflated by that. Your numbers are great! Will keep all fingers crossed for the testing. I'm sorry the results came back normal for your loss. That must be confusing. RW does also talk a lot about the fact that the majority of embryos are just not destined to be babies, whether they're normal or not. It might just be me, but I do find that thought or concept somewhat comforting. That in some ways, we are so far away from knowing or understanding what makes things successful, it really is for the most part just a roll of the dice and what will be will be. Sorry if this isn't helpful, I know everyone has different ways to think about it.

Thankfully our daughters behaviour has been much better this week, and her sleep has improved again. I wonder if she was having a growth spurt that disrupted her?

So we're booked for the DNA frag and a consult in March with the plan to start a fresh cycle when my period arrives, mid late month probably. It feels odd gearing up again but I'm feeling ready for it. I've been back on the same supplements I took before our successful first round for about 5 months now and am going to be extra careful with diet etc from now on to make sure everything is in the best shape it can be. This may well be our last fresh round, but I am actually feeling okay about that. There is only so much of my life I'm willing to give over to this ridiculous ride and I think I might be ready to draw a line after whatever happens next.

Hi everyone - long time no speak.

@Eggling not sure if you have ahd your PGT results back but have been thinkonog of you!

@IslandsintheOcean @KLM25 so delighted to hear that things are progressing well with you both. Have you found out the gender yet?

@SErunner how are things with your daughter? We moved ours into a toddler bed a few weeks back and it's been a bit of a battle. Ended up putting a baby gate on her door as previously there was only one at the top of the stairs and she just wasn't staying in bed. Once she's asleep it's ok but some nights it's been taking 2 hours to get her down and the minute you try to leave her bedside she's up and crying. The past two days she has had a shorter nap in the daytime and gone down much more easily so we're trialling less daytime sleep in the hope that it gets easier!

We were in Brno last week for the egg retrieval. I had a scan in the UK and was so upset because they only saw four follicles on day 7 and the last time I had 19 - same protocol of stims so I don't know what happened. Not sure if it's related but we were just so ill all over Christmas and into January, plus I didn't take a single supplement and we also had our daughter's MRI scan (it's been a year since her brain tumor unbelievably) so maybe the stress and sickness just left me in bad shape. Luckily her scan was totally clear which makes everything easier and we just got the day 5 news this morning that we have 3 embryos which is amazing considering they only collected 6 eggs! One of them is a compacted morula - have done a bit of reading and I think that means it's maybe a day behind the other two - they do a day 6 check as well so really hoping it catches up. Has anyone had a slow-growing embryo that made it to day 6?

ok, emailed the clinic about the Compact Morula - they listed it as "CM+" and this was her reply:

"Hello Louise,

Yes, the plus means that it is a more developed compact morula. We are giving it more time so we will know more tomorrow.
Fingers crossed!
B."

Come onnnnn little one!

Come on little embryo 🤞 our daughter was a bog standard morula on day 5 that they transferred as it was sort of doing the right thing, just slowly. All my embryos are slow growers. My last two failed transfers were a fresh day 5 blast but early stages, and a day 7 blast. I'm trying to stop worrying about that as a potential issue given the success of our daughter who looked terrible on paper 😂 great you've got 3 though @loulamay!

She's really picked up actually and has been great the last few weeks. Still sleeping better and behaviour much improved. I think it must have been a growth spurt as she seems to have progressed physically as well (walking much further etc).

We're all booked with plan to do a fresh cycle end of March when my period arrives. DNA frag next week with 3 week or so wait for results. They think unlikely anything will be wrong but checking just in case. I'm feeling positive as I've been on ubiquinol for nearly 5 months now similar to when we did the fresh round for our daughter, and we seem to be getting to the end of the run of winter colds. Hoping we'll stay well these next few weeks in the run up to the cycle!