TTC no.2 after successful IVF for no.1

[Chocoholic85]

Hi,
I’m just after some advice and to see whether anyone is in the same boat!
Just found out that my 3rd FET failed.
We are very lucky to have DD who came from our first fresh transfer. We were also very fortunate to get 5 frozen embryos from that round so have been trying for a sibling. 1st FET was BFN, 2nd was a chemical pregnancy/early miscarriage and 3rd now is failed. Down to the last two and starting to feel the pressure and also wondering why on earth it isn’t working?!
We have unexplained infertility so nothing was ever found with our initial tests and I was 34 when we had out first IVF round so odds were in our favour. I read somewhere that at 34 around 50% of embryos are abnormal so I guess out our 6 maybe the last 3 were all abnormal. I’m also worried something has changed since I had to have a csection for DD. I did have an ultrasound which showed the scar had healed fine and there no niches, I’m wondering if there are adhesions that might not have been seen on the ultrasound though.
Would love to hear any advice for what to do next or from anyone else in a similar position. Thanks x

Welcome home @loulamay!! I don't envy you the jet lag. Ovulation induction is literally just some tablets to make me ovulate as I don't naturally. So then we can have a fruitless attempt at TTC before we cycle again in the new year. Which is helpful for me as at least we get to try - we don't have absolutely no chance just a very low one so being able to try does help.

Sounds like you've got the right attitude @IslandsintheOcean! Hope the scan comes round quickly.

@KLM25 I don't think hcg means much at this point either. Keeping everything crossed for you.

We had our consultation with the other clinic today. I'm glad we did it but we are going to stay where we are - she didn't really say anything that different to our current dr, there are a few add ins they could offer but overall the cons outweighed the pros and we are comfortable where we are. So that's a decision made at least.

On the flip side my anxiety has gone a bit mad - I've been sleeping on DD's floor the past few nights as I can't sleep in my own room as can't hear her breathing. So I do need to sort that out really as it is good for neither my back or for all this TTC DH and I are going to be doing soon 😅

Thanks so much @Eggling Yes everything I’ve been reading seems to suggest that. It won’t be long until the scan now anyway and I’ve got some nice things planned this wkend so I think that’s probably good for me.

Brilliant that you’ve made a decision re the clinics, I think it’s good to check out alternatives to remove any doubts, plus that’s reassuring that they’ve said similar things.

Sorry to hear you’re feeling so anxious. It’s hardly surprising considering everything you’ve been through, it’s an awful lot to deal with and the way you’ve handled it has been amazing. Hope you feel better soon. Like you say the DTD will encourage you to get back in your own bed before too long! Xx

Thinking of you today @KLM25 and hope your scan goes well. Keep us posted!

How is everyone else doing? We are firmly back into the swing of things here, jet lag done, DD back at nursery and feels like Christmas will be here before we know it! I've started back on all my supplements ahead of the next retrieval, really hoping we can get it done early January so we can plan out the rest of the year and next steps. I hate how IVF just puts everything on hold!

Also sending good wishes @KLM25

I'm with you on hating there being on hold @loulamay! I had a strop about it this morning. Now that I have to wait until Saturday to go back to the hospital and hopefully get the miscarriage resolved, then see when we can start the next stages, we're back in that "doing nothing" phase and whilst I know it's just a few days it feels huge right now. I did manage to do a couch to 5k run at lunch though which is my first run in about 18 months. I started on week two, feeling cocky, and immediately got a stitch, but I enjoyed it and it helped to get out there. Hoping to keep following it until I next get banned again because of stupid ivf. At least if I can get a bit fitter then I've done something with the time I guess.

Mixed feelings about Christmas this year, how are you all feeling? I'm a massive Christmas fan but it's also a reminder of everything I was hoping we'd have by now. Trying to get in the spirit for DD though!

Thanks so much @loulamay and @Eggling. I’m very happy to report that there was a heartbeat ❤️ It was quite nervewracking. The sonographer tried it externally to start with but could only see a sac, so sent me off for one of the most nervous wees of my life, so she could do an internal one. Anyway, after what seemed like an absolute age, she said there’s the heartbeat. We were so relieved. We’ve obviously got a long way to go so we’re still not getting carried away but we feel like we’ve at least crossed another hurdle. The baby was measuring 6+6 and I’m 6+5 so that was good to hear too. I’ve booked another scan for 2 weeks time. She couldn’t see any obvious reason for the bleeding so I’m still none the wiser about that.

Glad to hear that you’ve got through the jet lag @loulamay, fingers crossed you can get your retrieval booked for early Jan and then with the Christmas busyness, it’ll be here in no time.

Fantastic that you did your C25K @Eggling 🙌 That’s exactly what I did in between treatments and it helped me no end. Really glad you enjoyed it x

@KLM25 That's wonderful news!!! take it step by step x

Just had a really good online consultation with the Brno clinic - she was so surprised that none of the embryos came back euploid given how they developed - all were of high grading and she also said that 16 eggs to start with at my age was amazing too, so we're all in agreement that we should try again and hope for a better outcome. Going to be a bit of a trick given my period dates but they're writing up a protocol that will hopefully mean egg collection early January, which is what I'd prefer, but if we have to shoot for February she said it wouldn't make much difference. Said to my husband that I just want to put that out of my mind for December as much as possible and focus on having a fun Christmas! -4 in the car this morning so we're feeling festive already haha.

@Eggling so impressed with your running - when it's cold outside all I want to do is hide under a blanket so doubly impressed that you made it out! I know what you mean about Christmas - not to downplay your feelings at all but I wonder if you put up a few decorations and had a glass of bubbles with some carols on you might feel better?! My annual tradition is watching Love Actually with a glass of wine while I write my Christmas cards :-)

Sounds like you have a solid plan @loulamay 😊 yes thats pretty much exactly what I'm planning on doing! Friday afternoon DD and I are putting up the decorations (who knows how that'll work, she is a tornado of chaos without adding fairy lights into the mix) then when DH gets him we are putting on Christmas comfies, eating party food and watching something festive - I was wondering about elf? Anything else that would entertain a 2.5 year old and two 30-something big kids? I LOVE love actually but think we'll save that one for another night post-bedtime 😅

@loulamay - good review with your clinic and hope you can get something scheduled asap. When it’s booked into frees up time to focus on the here and now… like Christmas. 🎄

Best wishes getting the tree sorted @Eggling - ours are 20 months and I wonder if they’ll terrorise the tree if we get one. Last year they didn’t bother it too much!

Lovely news @KLM25, another step forward. Lovely to hear a heartbeat.

Hello everyone, sorry I've been a bit quiet. It's been a busy few weeks! Just catching up.

@KLM25 that's such good news, so very pleased for you. Bleeding is so triggering isn't it but you just have to keep telling yourself it can be normal. Hugely positive you've seen a heartbeat.

@Eggling well done on your run! Have you done C25K before? It is annoying how IVF interferes with fitness etc isn't it, throws you out of routine. I'm feeling a bit mixed about Christmas too. But I think I'll perk up a bit once the festivities get going more.

@loulamay really glad you had a positive consultation and have a plan that doesn't feel too far away. And welcome back! I don't envy the jet lag at all but I'm sure your trip was worth it!

@IslandsintheOcean glad you're feeling okay. When is your scan?

@edf how are you getting on?

I'm feeling a bit more glum again as everyone around me is popping out babies 😢 I'll be okay but I do find it tough particularly when it's people close to me. I think because I feel guilty for not feeling as happy for them as I'd like to. Otherwise ticking along okay. I thought I was ovulating today or tomorrow so we've been making the most of that 😬😂 but I've started having some pink spotting this evening which I never normally have mid cycle so god knows what's going on! My cycles seem a bit off since my FET, the length is quite varied and my periods are a bit different too. Think perhaps my body is taking time to settle even though it's been months now.

Thanks for the welcome everyone and @KLM25 what fab news 😊

@loulamay im glad you have a plan- I always think that helps refocus on the future 😊

@SErunner im feeling pretty similar to you if I’m honest- still another week or 2 till our “sorry it failed but we don’t no why” chat which puts me firmly in no man’s land and hoping that my cycle doesn’t come before that so I can tell them
i wana start fet straight away. In the mean time im trying to keep really positive for Christmas for DD- though she may still be to young to understand I do t wana look back and think I wasted precious time with her being a negative Nancy. I asked to speak to the fertility counsellor this time so hoping that comes through in the new year- tho not sure if it will help.

here’s to a fab and successful 2024 to us all!

Thanks @Edf. Turns out it was my period rocking up 15 days after the last one - joy! Hopefully it's just an off cycle. I actually went to my first wreath making session this week and surprised myself by how much I enjoyed it! Would highly recommend if you've not done it before. I'm feeling more festive now and a bit brighter. I have wondered about some counselling, especially in the run up to a fresh cycle next year which will almost certainly be our last regardless of outcome. It's just tough financially really.

I haven't been on this thread in a while...I've been struggling a bit recently!

Massive congrats to those that have had positive news recently and I'm so sorry for those still on this awful journey!

Just a bit of a recap..we had a son from our second round of icsi. Had a natural pregnancy when he was a year old in 2021 but miscarriage at 9 weeks. Since then we have gone through 5 rounds of icsi - all unsuccessful unfortunately.

We have paid for another 2 rounds up front and these are the last we will be doing..we just can't do it financially or mentally anymore or physically too.

I am currently on day 9 stimulation, had my first scan yesterday and there was only 3 maybe 4 follicles showing. (Average would be 7/8 on previous rounds and also had a AFC done in July showing 7 follicles).
I had one round end of 2021 where I had 3 follicles at this stage, and they only collected one egg but it didn't make to embryo Stage and I feel like it's history repeating itself!

I am in two minds whether to cancel now and don't go to egg collection or keep going and hope for the best?? I feel like there is so much more pressure on these two rounds as well as we won't be doing it again successful or not!

I have also wondered if we do cancel..can you change to IUI so it's not wasted?

Hi @TTC6 and so sorry you've not had any luck on your recent rounds. Man, it's a slog isn't it?

What did your clinic say about the number of follies? Can they up your stims at all? Otherwise I think I would be minded to maybe cancel to avoid the disappointment? It's a tough one! Do they want another scan in a few days?

Not sure about the IUI question but seems like it could be a good interim solution?

@KLM25 @IslandsintheOcean any news from you both, have you been for any more scans?

@Edf I think the counselling is a great idea.

@SErunner wreath making is so much fun!!!

Quick one - I normally get lots of egg white mucus around ovulation time but this last month it was tinged pink which I've never had before. Anyone have any experience with that or know why it might be happening?

Sorry to hear your difficulties @TTC6. If you're limited on funds and are drawing a line after the next 2 collections I would possibly be tempted to cancel this cycle and try again if you can afford it, but equally worth discussing with your clinic and being frank about to it financial situation. No idea re the IUI I'm afraid but again definitely worth an ask.

@loulamay I had this last cycle and my period rocked up 🤷‍♀️ no idea what that was about! Hoping this cycle goes to plan - I feel more positive when we at least have the chance to TTC naturally so have felt a bit deflated since that happened. Wreath making was such fun and I'm quietly really proud of my creation - I'm not arty at all so it was a pleasant surprise!

Hope everyone else is doing okay x

Hi @SErunner and @TTC6 - it’s such a hard path on all fronts - but financially it’s a kicker esp with 6 full cycles for you @TTC6 if I’m reading that correctly. We’d decided that this was our last round - our 3rd full cycle as husband was concerned about age (39 & 42) and finds it’s really tough emotionally. I’d be much more gung ho - but I guess we don’t have to have that debate about a 4th try at present but it must be such a tough call. Esp when it’s worked before - so why can’t it just work again!

I might have missed timing TTC6 but I know there was a big refund due if we didn’t go to egg collection and with just a few if you can afford the extra I’d do another full round. I’ve had one round where only 2 eggs were collected - one mature. I went ahead because we’d come that far but clinic wanted us to stop and try again. Next round much better response.

@loulamay - no idea on the pink…. Maybe just a bit of blood coming with the egg release?

We did have our clinic scan this week 7+3. I’d posted on another chat and am super mindful that this has been a tough cycle for many - but it went well. Fetal pole, sac & heartbeat - all measuring to date. Each milestone allows a minor exhale - but long way still to travel. With my last pregnancy I’d been up to EPU by now with bleeding - so this seems more straightforward. Only symptom is extreme tiredness.

I’ve been ok emotionally but did google miscarriage rates this morning. 4am wakening isn’t good for the soul. So need to re-harness that inner chill. Week 8 tomorrow - so day by day.

@IslandsintheOcean thank you for being so considerate, but I am personally really pleased to hear your news. I find it much easier being genuinely happy for those I don't know, who I know have struggled too, than people I know! Whatever twisted logic that is! So glad everything is looking good so far ❤️

We are also at the point where the next retrieval we do will almost certainly be the last. Financially we just can't keep doing it, especially with cost of living, mortgage increases etc at the moment. We will keep TTC naturally for a few more years if it doesn't work but have both said we'll draw a line when our daughter turns 5 as we feel after that the age gap will be some too big for us personally and we would prefer to move forward as a family of 3. I don't want this to dominate the whole of our daughters childhood, I already feel guilty about the burden it adds with the chaos of doing the IVF cycles. Parenthood really is just one long road of guilt and worry 😂

I'm up early as we're off to a Christmas market today. Hope others are starting to feel festive if you want to. I'm really enjoying our daughter 'getting it' for the first time this year, it's definitely brought a bit of magic back!

@SErunner i share your twisted logic and @IslandsintheOcean this is fab news and also, personally gives me hope that someone with an almost identical struggle and success/ failures can still end up where I want to be- so maybe I can get there too 😊

Morning ladies, lovely to hear from you all.
@TTC6 I’m really sorry to hear that this cycle hasn’t gone as hoped so far. I’m not very knowledgeable regarding egg collections as we went straight to donor eggs due to my age - could the number of follicles increase with another scan? If not, I think I would maybe cancel and try again. I know how disappointing it is to cancel, I’ve had a few cancelled transfers, but in hindsight it was the right decision.

@loulamay No idea about the pink mucus either I’m afraid. I bet it’s something innocuous although I know that doesn’t stop us worrying!

@SErunner The wreath making sounds fab, every year I say I’d like to do that and never get round to it. Enjoy your Christmas market today.

@IslandsintheOcean I’m really glad to hear that your scan went well ❤️ You’ve summed it up really well. I also feel very mindful of not wanting to upset anyone with an update, that’s the last thing I would want to do.
I’m the same as you, just taking things one day at a time. I’ve got another scan on Thursday when I’ll hopefully be 9 weeks. We’ve had a bit of a week of it, our son wasn’t well last weekend and after a message from nursery and a GP appt on Monday, it turned out he had Scarlet Fever. He recovered quite quickly but it was very traumatic for all of us as he was prescribed some disgusting tasting antibiotics that even myself and his Dad would have balked at!
Anyway, after a few phone calls, it was replaced with amoxicillin and things started to look up! Xx

Thanks so much @Edf and @SErunner, that’s a really lovely thing to hear x

Thank you all so much for replying.
I went for another scan yesterday morning and still only 3 leading follicles, 2 smaller although unlikely to catch up. I chatted to the consultant and understand it's such a gamble as we may not even get 3 next time but I have faith and my head just isn't in it this time, so he allowed me to make the decision to cancel. We've paid for 2 rounds upfront through access fertility, so because we didn't get to egg collection this does count as a round so essentially just put drug money, which is still £1200 but as we all know it's a drop in the ocean.

Going to give myself a couple of months and go again in hope that we do better. Because I know it's the last couple of rounds I feel so much more pressure, but I am so with you @SErunner . Our little boy is 4 in may...we have been on this second journey since he was 1 and I never actually thought i would get to this point as I thought I would just keep going and going until I got a baby but I'm feeling done with it all. I actually walked out of the clinic relieved (tearful but relieved). I am also so worried about all of the drugs and what they are doing to us. Surely it can't be good to keep injecting hormones month after month.

@loulamay I did ask about transferring to IUI but they wouldn't allow it as I have 3 follicles and it's too much of a risk of multiple pregnancy (even though I'd love that) I understand the risks. But essentially he said it doesn't even make sense money wise as it's £1500 and he said it's so unlikely to work.

@IslandsintheOcean massive congratulations!! I absolutely love hearing of anyone successful, especially on this thread. It gives me so much hope. I hope the tiredness starts to lift a little for you over Christmas but what a lovely way to go into a new year 🥰

@KLM25 technically the follicles at day 8 generally are what they are. I had 3 leading and 1 smaller the other day, then had 3 leading and 2 smaller yesterday. But still made the decision to cancel in hope we do better next time.
Also massive congratulations to you!! So happy to hear your news and hope you are feeling ok. Hope your scan goes ok on Thursday 🤞
So scary with Scarlett fever but glad to hear he recovered ok. I hate when they are sick!

Lovely to hear from you @KLM25 but so sorry you've got scarlet fever to contend with. Hope your son is feeling better soon. We've not had that yet but it sounds horrid. Glad everything else is seeming okay though 👍

@TTC6 I'm glad you've made a decision and are feeling okay about it. In your scenario I think I would have done the same. In an odd way I am already feeling relieved our next retrieval will be our last. We will likely only get 1 embryo at best, 2 if we're very lucky, so it feels like we're on the downhill slope with it and there is definitely some relief in there somewhere. I haven't been on contraception for almost 5 years now. We haven't tried not to conceive at any point although the first year of our daughter there were few opportunities so I would say we've been trying for a almost 18 months, including the fresh and frozen transfers we did this summer. I've banged on about him before but Robert Winston talks a lot about the relief many people can experience when they conclude fertility treatment, whatever the outcome. I suspect relief will be high on my list of feelings, knowing we've tried but being at a point where I can move forwards.

Hello, lots of news to catch up on here! Lovely to hear from you all.

@TTC6 sounds like you made the right decision, I think I'd have done the same. It's such a roller coaster isn't it. Someone did tell me that you know when you're done, i guess when that brings more peace than carrying on?

@KLM25 glad you're doing ok and hope all goes smoothly at your scan - sorry to hear about the scarlet fever though!

@SErunner hope the market was fun!! I'm also enjoying DD's excitement this year, can't wait to see her face on Christmas morning!

@IslandsintheOcean glad all is going smoothly so far! I know how stressful it is but the fact that all is well to date is really positive.

@loulamay I have occasionally had this and it's been normal, other times I've had it at random points and it's meant nothing. That's obviously not a medical opinion though and I wouldn't rely on my disobedient uterus as a guide for anything 😅

@Edf I've done some counselling and found it helpful, as much as an outlet for the things I can't say to friends and family as anything. We didn't click with the counsellor the clinic use but found one privately who is fab.

I've been doing pretty well all things considered. I'm a bit sad today as would have been 12 weeks tomorrow and telling our families this weekend. But finally got discharged from EPU last weekend after an MVA (which was actually done by the ivf consultant who diagnosed my miscarriage as he was doing nhs work that weekend, which felt really right and meant I was strangely happy throughout everything). I had a 3d scan last week which was fine, there's nothing dodgy going on in there and my bloods are fine too. So I'm taking letrezole to hopefully induce ovulation then planning next egg collection round in January.

Another thing worrying me is I've been to the dr about a small lump in my groin. It's been there a while and I kept forgetting about it, I remembered again on holiday and thought if it's still there next week I'll get it checked but then obviously the bleeding began and I was distracted. It's probably nothing but my brother had lymphoma a few years ago so I'm hyper vigilant. I've been referred to get it checked and trying not to catastrophes but keep writing my own eulogy in my head 😅 not sure if the scan will be before Christmas or not, the dr did put it through as urgent but wasn't sure.

I'm planning to relax a bit and have a few drinks over Christmas (on my consultant's advice!) even though we are actively TTC. I'll be on progesterone from two days post ovulation then will need to test at the start of jan before stopping that. But largely feeling positive about 2024. Here's hoping it's better than this year!

@Eggling - that was a small silver lining it was the same consultant. Once a consultant we knew well came to do a procedure and I could just feel the stress leave my body. It’s a relief to trust in someone. Of course it’s so sad you’d be hitting the second trimester and sharing the news. It sucks. As you say Drs orders for a couple of glasses of something nice and enjoy these weeks. January isn’t that far away at all.

Hoping indeed 2024 is your year, and hoping that groin lump just dissipates and isn’t anything major at all. Good it’s getting checked though.

@SErunner
I'll have to look Robert Winston up. Sounds like similar situation to us- we have never got more than 2 embryos (which was my first round) - and from that only ever one ranging from A to D grade. Is very frustrating!!
All I keep hearing from family is 'once you stop it will happen'. I mean of course I would love that to happen but it does get annoying to hear it over and over. And I know they mean well 🙈

@Eggling
It's always nice when you know the person and trust them, I feel it makes such a difference to anxiety levels when things are already heightened. I am so sorry you didn't get the outcome you wanted from this round..I will keep every single thing crossed that it's your time next round.
I am so with you to have a few drinks and be able to enjoy yourself over Christmas.
I always feel so guilty for having a drink (never a lot) or eating sugar etc then I hear of people getting pregnant on hard drugs etc and do wonder if it any of the health eating no drinking etc makes any difference...but when you are paying so much money you will try everything.
I hope your lump gets examined quickly as just another thing on your mind to worry about and hopefully all is ok 🤞🤞

Has anyone ever tried DHEA or Coq10?
I have taken it for the past 5 rounds (didn't with my successful round so I decided not to on this round) and obviously ended up with a lower amount of follicles. I'm now wondering is that what has made the difference over the past few rounds in slightly higher numbers?

Feeling a bit irrationally down today- I have my follow up appt on thurs and was hoping that my cycle would hold off until after that so I could go straight into FET in a few days, but AF turned up today (always a bit triggering to see AF at any time now- is it just me?!) so have to wait until next cycle- my logical side knows it isn’t a crazy long wait, and will go quick coz of xmas etc but I dunno, just feel a bit sad. Sorry to just pop up and randomly post this but if anyone can understand - I’m sure it will be you girls!