TTC no.2 after successful IVF for no.1

[Chocoholic85]

Hi,
I’m just after some advice and to see whether anyone is in the same boat!
Just found out that my 3rd FET failed.
We are very lucky to have DD who came from our first fresh transfer. We were also very fortunate to get 5 frozen embryos from that round so have been trying for a sibling. 1st FET was BFN, 2nd was a chemical pregnancy/early miscarriage and 3rd now is failed. Down to the last two and starting to feel the pressure and also wondering why on earth it isn’t working?!
We have unexplained infertility so nothing was ever found with our initial tests and I was 34 when we had out first IVF round so odds were in our favour. I read somewhere that at 34 around 50% of embryos are abnormal so I guess out our 6 maybe the last 3 were all abnormal. I’m also worried something has changed since I had to have a csection for DD. I did have an ultrasound which showed the scar had healed fine and there no niches, I’m wondering if there are adhesions that might not have been seen on the ultrasound though.
Would love to hear any advice for what to do next or from anyone else in a similar position. Thanks x

@KLM25 thank you for your reply. Interesting that you essentially repeated what you did for baby 1 to get where you are now. How do you find pred? I tried that a few times just ttc naturally in-between fets and couldn't cope with the insomnia.

@SErunner thank you! I think we are looking at testing for an infection in my lining next but I'm not convinced anything will be found. Everything I've ever had has come back normal!

Hi, please could I join this group, we have male factor issues and were Lucky enough to get our DD on our first icsi cycle in 2021- she is now 19 months and a superstar. Since then we did FET in June this year and BFN and currently just had our fresh cycle of hatching 5AA end in bfn, I’m just so heart broken and struggling to process- we have a average quality embryo frozen so will do fet again as soon as I’m allowed I am just so sick of the emotional rollercoaster- I’m emotionally and financially drained and can’t help thinking already this will never happen! Sorry to be a misery- I’m only a few hours after finding out this one failed and think I was in a false sense of security thinking it’s worked once- it should have again!

Hi @edf. I'm so sorry. We all have been where you are and know how you're feeling, so do join. It's a crap ride. We've had two failed transfers so far as well, TTC a sibling for our daughter who is 2. Take some time today and over the next few days, it's a lot to process. I was surprised how upset I was after both our transfers failed. We also got lucky first time with our daughter. Take care of yourself and do come here to chat xx

@SErunner thanks for the reply, it’s really nice to find a group of people in the same position, I have a good support network but can’t help but think if you haven’t been through this rollercoaster journey it’s really hard to relate- although they try it is just nice to no I’m not alone in this and from looking at recent threads- there does seem to be possibilities of happy endings! I’m sick of being told I should be grateful I even got 1- I am of course very lucky- but that doesn’t take away the pain of these failures 😔

Hi all, I'm going to catch up on everyone's news soon but just a quick update - unfortunately another miscarriage. I'm just shocked at the moment I think, on the way to EPU now to try and sort out next steps

I’m so very sorry@Eggling There’s nothing I can say to make things better but please know that you’re in my thoughts ❤️ x

Oh @Eggling i’m just heartbroken for you and so very sorry. I hope they take very good care of you. Sending so much love and empathy x

@Eggling I am so very sorry. I was really hopefully for you. Take care of yourself as best you can. We're here when you want to come back for support. Thinking of you.

@Edf the people who say 'at least you've got 1' can f**k off in my opinion! It doesn't matter how many you've got, if it's not how you pictured your family it's still tough. And I agree, I have lots of sympathetic and supportive people around me but they don't 'get it' in the way those who've been through it do. However well meaning they are. Have you got any idea of timescales for using your embryo on ice or are you having a break for a bit?

Thank you everyone, I'm just broken tonight. I can't believe i walked into that room this morning expecting good news. I can't believe we have to do it all again. I can't believe we don't know why this is happening. I just want to give DD a sibling, I don't understand how that transfer and pregnancy was so smooth and the past 18 months have just been utter utter hell.

Oh @Eggling - that’s such a loss to you both, well all three of you. I’m so sorry - it’s such a difficult journey. Nothing will make it easier in these days but know people wish you the very best. That’s so tough and I am so sad to hear it.

@Eggling im so sorry for your loss, look after yourself- your in my thoughts

@SErunner i agree it’s such a crap thing to say and then have to deal with feeling guilty that people don’t think your grateful whilst also grieving a completely unique loss. Our clinic is always slow at the failure consultation- so I think I’ll be lucky to get that pre xmas- I don’t really know how long you are supposed to wait- does anyone know? I know Google says 4-6 weeks but I dunno, I just want to get cracking- I need to keep the hope and keep looking forward, I can’t stand the wait, the frozen emby is only 4bb (borderline 4bc) so not holding out much hope and if I do fresh again I wana do it before I get much older (35 in jan)

Hello hopping back on to say that I hope you are all doing well, particularly those with recent BFPs!

It's been a brutal couple of weeks here but we had a follow up with the lead consultant at our clinic today and I honestly feel like a weight has been lifted. Once my miscarriage is confirmed complete (hopefully Friday as have an appointment for MVA then if it's not) then we are going to do an ovulation induction round with letrozole and some additional tests, possibly HyCoSy and some bloods. Essentially he thinks things are pointing towards sperm causing our issues. Also getting DH to go to the GP about a suspected varicocele. And then we will start again in January.

May 2024 be infinitely easier and happier than 2023!

Hi @Eggling, it’s so lovely to hear from you and I’m really happy to hear that you’re feeling brighter and have a plan to move forward. That’s really positive news ❤️

I had a massive bleed yesterday afternoon. I was in the kitchen at about 1pm and felt a gush, then went to the loo and there was bright red blood 😏 I think it carried on for an hour or so and didn’t really fill a pad but it felt like it was pouring out of me when I was sitting on the loo, sorry tmi. I haven’t had any pain or cramping so far. Luckily my OH was at home as I was extremely upset. It was literally an hour after I’d called to refer myself to the midwife, so I was kicking myself - I know that’s silly and superstitious.

Anyway I emailed my clinic and they called me back an hour or so later. They told me to switch to taking the Cyclogest rectally whilst I was bleeding (a new experience for me 🤦‍♀️ but I managed it) and also to add an extra pessary orally at night (I had to triple check that, in case it had got lost in translation but no sure enough, it seems you can take Cyclogest that way). They also told me to rest as much as possible. The bleeding tailed off at about 5pm and last night it was just a very faint brown when I wiped. I haven’t had any more today so far.
I’ve already got an early viability scan booked for next Tues when I’ll hopefully be 6+5 so I think we’re just going to hold out for that. I did book another beta hcg for tomorrow (I had two last week), although I don’t know how conclusive that’ll be without doing two of them and that’ll be difficult with childcare and my OH being at work.
So I suppose it’s just a waiting game now. When I lost that pregnancy early last year, it was different, pinky brown spotting on and off for a few days, but that was earlier and my hcg never got above 125. I’ve been googling non stop, not to mention the constant anxious trips to the loo 😏

Sorry it’s a saga, I think I just wanted to get it off my chest as haven’t told anyone other than the clinic. Hope everyone else is ok and things are going well x

I've been thinking of you @Eggling and am glad to hear from you. Sending you strength this week and glad you have a plan to go forwards with. I've not done ovulation induction, have you done it before? What was their thought process on trying that given the suspected sperm issues? Hope your husband can get an appt soon to get the ball rolling.

@KLM25 I'm so sorry, that must be awfully traumatic. I actually find just the sight of blood quite triggering now, even when it times with my expected period arrival. It must have been very scary but glad it has settled down. Bleeding can be normal so will keep everything crossed for a good outcome at your scan. 6+5 should be far enough along to give you a fairly conclusive answer?

@Edf I don't think there is any reason to wait for very long, will just depend on your clinics scheduling. I had a one cycle break between failed fresh transfer and FET (also failed). Stay positive, grading has been somewhat rubbished more recently by lots of well esteemed experts in the fertility field. There is every chance it could be successful. Our daughter came from a day 5 morula (pre-blastocyst so very behind) 😀

Oh I'm sorry @KLM25 I know how scary it is. I so hope it all goes the right way for you.

Thank you @SErunner. Feeling a bit down again this morning but that's par for the course. I did 6 cycles of clomid way back when we first started treatment which all worked in the sense I ovulated just didn't fall pregnant. I really struggle with the waiting between treatment and not being able to at least try so psychologically that's a massive thing for me. The consultant basically thinks it's not no chance as obviously DH does have some decent sperm! It also means that some of the tests we want to do for me (endometrium etc) can be done in this cycle once my lining is thicker etc. And then essentially use the letrozole and induced ovulation to time the next ivf cycle rather than have to go on the pill, and he's said we can do that for all future cycles which is just amazing for me as I hate the pill both physically and psychologically when we're TTC. Just need EPU to confirm the miscarriage is complete so we can start. We do have a consultation with another clinic tomorrow afternoon just to get a second opinion but my strong preference atm is to stay where we are particularly now we have the lead consultant in our case. Hoping you're well!

That sounds great @Eggling. So glad you've got a plan that works for you and interesting to hear their thoughts x

Thanks so much @SErunner and @Eggling. Like you say, hopefully 6+5 will be far enough along to see something if it’s there. I’ve been for the blood test this morning but I’m not sure it’s going to be very helpful in isolation, unless of course it comes back very low.

That all sounds really positive @Eggling, great news that you’re seeing the lead consultant and they want to try some different things. No harm at all in speaking to a different clinic to get another opinion but I can understand that you might want to stay where you are. Hope it all goes well tomorrow x

Hi @Eggling - I have been thinking about you so good to hear you’re getting the lead consultant on the case. It’s such a journey full of ups and downs - it’s a day at a time sometimes. Good to hear they continue to work on a better plan to support you both.

Hi @KLM25 - been thinking about you too - hoping everything is ok with the bloods today. Better to share it - no one else really understands what a ivf pregnancy feels like unless you’ve been through it. It’s a precarious endeavour. Scan isn’t too far off - but so hard to wait. Cyclogest orally sounds extra 😆 but thank goodness for the extra support for the embryo at this time.

Welcome @Edf - hope it’s not too long to wait.

Gosh, catching up a bit and so sorry to hear about your bleeding @KLM25 . Hope you're managing to stay sane while you wait for your scan!

@Eggling you are amazing and I'm so happy you have the lead person on your case as well as a plan. What is ovulation induction? That's a new one for me.

@Edf welcome and so sorry you are going through this as well.

@SErunner hope you're doing well!

@IslandsintheOcean how many weeks are you now? Do you have a scan booked? sorry if I missed that.

Back from Australia and back to work today - ugh! Can confirm that jet lag and a toddler is as fun as you would expect. We decided to stay on with my parents until the weekend which was a great idea as they can help with her while we walk around feeling a bit like zombies! Hopefully a few more days and we'll be back to normal.

I have a consultation with the Brno clinic next week to start next steps for the next retrieval in January. My periods are never regular but always long cycles rather than short, so if my app is predicting it correctly, I'm due on around Christmas Eve (joy). Worried now that the clinic won't be open between Christmas and New Year and we might have to wait until Feb but will see what they say.

Thanks so much @IslandsintheOcean - a precarious endeavour sums it up perfectly. I feel like I’m walking along a tightrope 🤦‍♀️
I got the results back yesterday and they were 19940, up from 4419 last Thursday, so just under 6 days later. We did some calculations and some googling and thought they looked ok, there’s a lot of info online to say that the doubling rate slows down after they go over 4000, so we were slightly reassured. Then an hour later, I got an email from my doctor to say they looked good but they might be too low as she would expect them to double every 48 hours and be 36000 by now 😬 So then we started worrying again.
She did caveat that by saying that it’s not an exact science and she would keep everything crossed for the scan. I suppose that’s the bottom line, we need to wait for the scan next Tuesday and just hope for the best, but it’s become a very anxious wait.
My clinic don’t ask for hcg bloods at all, just a HPT and then a scan, so I’m hoping that means they’re not experts on them. Am I clutching at straws?! When I spoke to my co-ordinator on Mon, she even said that the rate of increase slows as the pregnancy progresses.

Yes Cyclogest orally is definitely a bit extra!! For someone who has historically struggled with swallowing pills, the thought of it blew my mind! It was surprisingly easy as it turned out, which was a relief as I’m doing it every night now. Apparently taking progesterone that way can make you feel nauseous along with other side effects, hence taking it before bed, but I’ve been ok so far. I did feel nauseous this morning but I’m praying that’s for a positive reason.

Hope you’re feeling ok? And hope everyone else is doing well too. Apologies @Edf, welcome to the thread, sorry I didn’t say that earlier x

Cross-posted @loulamay, welcome home! Hope the jet lag wears off quickly, fantastic that you’re with your parents.

Great news that you’ve got another consultation next week. Not sure if this will help but I was in touch with Gennet last Christmas, my period also started Christmas Eve funnily enough. I can’t remember the exact details, it was to do with starting some meds, but my co-ordinator phoned me on the 27th Dec to give me instructions. I know it’s not the same clinic, but maybe Czech clinics work similar hours? Hope so anyway x

Thanks @KLM25 ! Will find out more next week so fingers crossed!

My Cape Town clinic never did more than 2 beta tests because my Dr always said that anything after that was misleading and would only cause concern. I would 100% ignore the doubling rule after you've hit 4000 as you say - tons of stuff online about that and I'm a little surprised that your Dr has expressed any kind of concern - it's totally normal!

Thanks so much @loulamay, you’ve made me feel better. That’s really helpful to hear what your Dr said, I’ve read a lot of similar stuff online. My clinic don’t actually ask for betas as a matter of course, they just tell you to do a HPT and then have a scan, so I’m hoping that means they’re just not overly familiar with them. I was really surprised by the email as well, especially after everything I’d read online. I’ve got a few things planned over the next few days so hopefully that will keep my mind occupied. I just keep trying to tell myself that, as we all sadly know, anything could go wrong at any time so there’s no point worrying about beta levels, I’ve just got to stay positive and hope for good news on Tues x

@KLM25 - I shouldn’t laugh but when I think of pregnancy post IVF or even trying to get pregnant - we have an encyclopaedia of knowledge about every little thing and then elsewhere in the world people conceive, don’t know they’re pregnant and give birth on the toilet!

After a certain rate the HCG isn’t an exact science. The HCG is 5x higher - so they wanted to see 6x - that’s a small variance over a week esp when so high overall. And hey give it 12 hours and it could be higher. So I’d err on the side of relaxing and wait for the scan (as hard as it is). One day at a time. You’re doing all the right things in staying positive and staying busy.

@loulamay - thanks for asking, I’m (a very early) 5 1/2 weeks - or as my app said, I’m now in my second month 🤣.

Scan at 7 weeks with clinic, then I will sign up to maternity services. I am being pretty relaxed, not testing and not symptom spotting. Either it works or it doesn’t and it’s out of my control (aside from being sensible, no alcohol, vitamins etc). Welcome back - jet lag ain’t fun but good to have support from family.

@IslandsintheOcean Yes you’re so right. It has crossed my mind that most people wouldn’t have a clue what their hcg levels were at this stage, and tbh I think it’s better to be none the wiser! If I hadn’t have had that bleed I wouldn’t have tested again, and I’m honestly not sure if I feel better for it or not. Like you say, one day at a time and hopefully scan day will come round quickly.
Glad to hear that you’re feeling relaxed and you’ve got a date for your scan x