IVF November 2022 - thread 2

[countrypunk]

Hello everyone, shiny new thread for us IVF warriors.

@Crystal88
@Jx3303
@LF82
@Hopewishprayer
@Foreverhoping33
@Cat89

Change of plan now, started spotting this morning, spoke to clinic and they don’t think the medication will be here until next week has they are waiting for a blood test results from OH so decided to delay until June cycle

best decision I believe has I don’t want to stress about getting meds on time, it’s only 28 days it will be here before you know it xx

@Crystal88 definatley the right decision as you don’t want to be stressing! Like you say the month will fly x

just had my first acupuncture session the women was lovely she specialised in ivf fertility she used to be a midwife

hopefully it will help and see gave me some good tips

each day have 10 minutes reflecting time

try to avoid cold drinks during treatment

use hot water bottles up until egg transfer especially the night before and have a warm bath too

only have red meat once week, lots of nuts, green veg and fish

feeling so relaxed she talked about benefits of coq10 she suggested I get OH to take as well as she said it helps with cells and makes everything work better

worth a try xx

@Crystal88 thanks for sharing! Glad you are feeling relaxed- definitely helps I think. Am very much trying to do the same x

Some heartbreaking news for us. We went for our 7 week scan yesterday and there was no heartbeat and was measuring a week behind. Beyond devastated. They said to go back there for a scan a week on Wednesday to confirm but I’m going to call my local EPU today, no point going back to a private scanning place for them to then say I need to go to EPU 2 weeks later when I can just go direct. It feels so cruel to have the happiness snatched away from us so quickly. I really hoped it was our time. And now I’m so scared of a long drawn out process given I’ve had no bleeding and still plenty pregnancy symptoms. X

@Jx3303 I am so, so sorry. I know there is nothing anyone can say that will help. Truly so upset for you. Sending love. Please look after yourself x

@LF82 thank you. This journey is so hard, I've never felt pain like this and we've had a lot of bad steps along the way. X

@Jx3303 cant even imagine how you are feeling…. Hope you and your OH take all the time you need to look after yourselves in the next few days x

oh @Jx3303 i am so sad to hear your update. I’m so sorry for you and your partner it really is the most heartbreaking news. I hope you are able to take some time out of everything to care for yourselves and each other.
I will have everything crossed that your next scan has a heartbeat and it’s just a slower growing embryo.
sending you so much love. Xxxxxx

Thank you ladies ❤️ I have a scan at the EPU on Tuesday. They've warned me the same may happen in that they might tell me to come back in 2 weeks. Dr at clinic said they'd discuss tomorrow and let me know about progesterone. I feel like if id had my scan down there they'd have confirmed MMC given I'm a week behind and dates can't really be wrong with IVF so much. Scared for what's to come 😞 xx

I was told they always wait a week and give two scans before saying it’s a mmc just in case it’s a slow growing embryo and they can get a heartbeat a bit later on. So there is still hope though maybe a bit slim, try to keep the positivity up though whilst also managing expectations. Xxxxx

@Jx3303 I'm so so sorry. It's so very hard. You know I had pretty much the same experience and all I can say is you will get through it. Please be kind to yourself and if you have the slightest doubts about going to work while this is going on, don't.

I found the first scan the hardest because of the shock. It's just all so unfair and shit. You are very very much in my thoughts and I'm sending you masses of love.

Xxxx

@countrypunk thank you ❤️ I'm scared of the coming weeks and the fact I know it can be a very long drawn out process. I've read up and the natural / medicated way sounds so traumatic, after an operation do they still need to scan later or is it over there and then? When did they tell you to stop progesterone?

I had only just told my boss on Thursday so I've messaged her today the sad news and said I'm going to put my out of office on for a bit. She completely understood. But I'm worried about taking too much time off, if this takes weeks and weeks will I wish I'd not take this time off at the start If I more need it later? It's just so heartbreaking 💔 xxx

@Jx3303 I'll tell you what worked for me. I told my boss immediately and took the day of our first scan off and the following (Thursday and Friday). Then I worked at home for a couple of days from the Monday, as I do anyway. Each time I had a scan I took the rest of the day off. I could have taken more if I needed it, and urge you to if you feel you need it.

When I had the surgery, the surgeon signed me off for 2 weeks. I only took 1 week in the end, because I decided that was all I needed but when I went back to work I thought I could have done with the extra week.

I didn't need another scan after op. You have to do a pregnancy test 2 weeks later and make sure it's negative. If it was positive they'd scan you. My period arrived nearly 5 weeks to the day after the op.

For me the op was the best choice. It was very untraumatic and the NHS care was excellent. Minimal pain and bleeding afterwards. I had the op 9 days after the final scan. I could have had it sooner but I wanted to see if it happened naturally. I'm glad it didn't in the end.

You can always PM me if you want to talk about anything in more detail. I'm very much here for you.

Xx

@Jx3303 I actually only had enough progesterone to take up until a week after the first scan so I didn't need to make a decision about stopping that early. Xx

@countrypunk thank you so much, your advice and kind words mean more then you know ❤️

I have said to my boss I'd be in touch after my scan at EPU this week. Maybe I could work the end of the week from home, turn teams off but do some work and pick up some emails. I know I shouldn't worry about work but I was signed off last year so just can't help but feel bad. And I know I'm not going to know a timeline anytime soon 😔 it just makes everything that bit harder. I've just been in floods of years discussing it with OH.

My first initial thoughts are the same, I think I would prefer the operation too. If it's asleep. Given my NHS egg collection was awake I'd not be surprised if they did it under local. Even the thought of passing the pregnancy really really traumatises me.

I was just saying to my OH I had been so looking forward to finally having a "normal" scan at my local hospital. Now I'm having to go to an even worse part of the maternity hospital that most people don't even know exists. Life is so cruel 💔

@Jx3303 I understand everything you say completely. Too many of us on this thread do. I wish I could give you a hug ♥️

I think as you say, play it by ear with work. You don't know the outcome yet. But probably what you don't want is people bothering you, so turning Teams off is a great idea. You mustn't feel bad about work. It just doesn't matter. You must prioritise yourself. I don't think any of your colleagues would begrudge you time off for this, and if they did, they're horrible people!

I was asleep for my operation and it was the best decision. You could have general or local at my hospital. I think local would have been traumatic. I didn't like the thought of passing the pregnancy either. I know some women get closure from that, but not for me.

You won't leave my thoughts x

@countrypunk it's so sad that we have to go through this, so many of us. I was scared from the get go about this happening. We know all the awful outcomes more when we've been through IVF I think.

Yeah I'll play it by ear. My boss is very understanding and said exactly that, prioritise us. My OH is going to work from home all week too to make sure I'm not alone. I don't want to see anyone but him. Luckily we have the dog so we have to go for walks otherwise I'm not sure I'd be leaving the house.

I'm glad they gave you the option and I really hope my hospital do too. I can't bear the thought of going through that awake, or going through it at home and just waiting and then having to flush the toilet 😢 xxx

@Jx3303 I found my dog very comforting at the time. They help lots ♥️

Those were my thoughts too. I hope if it comes to it, you can have the surgical option with the GA.

Lots of love to you. Xx

@Jx3303 so sorry to hear your update, it’s so unfair that this happens, don’t worry about taking time from work. I had similar experience and I didn’t take time from work and looking back I absolutely should have taken the time.
easy for me to say but try not to worry yourself about what’s to come, try to take it a day at a time. For me it was an 8 week scan and was 2 weeks behind, but within a week I started to bleed and didn’t require any medical intervention and it was all over very quickly - so heartbreaking to go through, please look after yourself xxx

@Jx3303 I'm so sorry to hear your update 😢. It's so heartbreaking especially after everything you've already been through. You're not alone and a few of us here have had the same news previously, we're here for you girl ❤️. Don't be afraid to just cry it out and feel sorry for yourself for a while, take as much time off work as you need. This journey isn't always smooth and rarely goes from 0 to 100%, but when you're feeling a little less raw I hope you can find some peace and acceptance knowing that your body created an embryo that made it past Day 5 quality, went on to implant successfully and body started preparing with the symptoms you've reported. Unfortunately the Wk6/7 scan is another high hurdle to cross and like many others here, it doesn't always go our way for no good reason other than nature's selection. Be kind to yourself and please do remember the progress you've made, even though it might feel hard to see if that way right now. Sending lots of love xxxx

Thank you all so much for your kind words and love, it really means a lot ❤️

I'm so sorry that it's happened to so many of us, it's just heartbreaking. You are both right, I shouldn't worry about work. I am really hoping to hear from my clinic re taking progesterone. Mentally it's so hard now. As usual my 6am alarm went off and I got up like I have every day for almost 6 weeks to take it, then for reality to hit me like a tonne of bricks it's so upsetting. I would prefer quickly and pain free would but I know my body and I know it won't be like that. If there's a long drawn out process to be had - my body will go the difficult route I'm sure 😔

Wise words from @Cat89 ♥️♥️♥️

Thinking of you this morning @Jx3303 xxx

~@Jx3303 i am so sorry for you, and what lovely words and advice from everyone else. I haven't experienced it yet , so i cant imagine the pain you are going through

we are all here for you xx

Such kind and wise words from everyone, I can't thank you all enough x

My clinic have told me to keep up progesterone just now. I'm not going to be so strict with the times though, I can't bear the 6am pessary alarm, do yous think it's ok just to do it when I get up then space them out? X