IVF November 2022 - thread 2

[countrypunk]

Hello everyone, shiny new thread for us IVF warriors.

@Crystal88
@Jx3303
@LF82
@Hopewishprayer
@Foreverhoping33
@Cat89

@LF82 I did thank you, it was lovely to get away ☀️ how are you feeling after collection? The wait after isn't easy I know, sending lots of positivity for your next update. I though freezing one first cycle was something create did just as a back up when there were low numbers, but you didn't do that first cycle did you? It perhaps depends on the quality on day 3, I'm really not sure, I guess everyone and every case is different. I hope you get a good update tomorrow 🤞🏻 will you wait for a bleed then start your down reg prior to transfer? Xx

@Jx3303 no first cycle they didn’t raise it with me as a possibility. I am just cautious I think as second cycle we had 4 fertilise, all good at day 3 but didn’t make day 5. Yes the plan is down regulating for 3 months but need to wait for my withdrawal bleed first and have the injection on day 21 of next cycle I think. What are your plans, have you got a consultation with the clinic? X

@LF82 I wonder what the criteria is for freezing on day 3. I would definitely speak to the embryologist to gain an understanding of your embyros and where they are at, they will be super helpful. I'm sure my friend who did ivf in Spain has done that before as well. Hopefully after that you're ready for transfer ❤️

Long story - I think I need to do another egg collection. It will be my 5th and I really thought I was done. The Dr (who was the English man we both had and who I will definitely be requesting to speak to next time specifically) has given me a letter to get a scan after my august cycle up here to check the cyst is gone (which he wasn't worried about) and then we'll have another call. He recommended I do my third cycle, and we then PGT-A test all the embryos we have. It makes more sense to do the third and test them all before any further transfer. He said likely 50% of embryos are abnormal and to be honest I'd pay anything to reduce the chance of another miscarriage. I hope to do the 3rd cycle this year and a transfer probably in the new year. Feels a long time away but it's going to be costly for the testing and any further transfers given we've used our "included" one. I'm still very scared and sometimes the fear outweighs the hope. I've been doing ivf since March last year so it's been a lot and the break is needed. But it's also hard to not be doing anything x

@LF82 sorry the long story was all the other options - do a transfer, test the embryos we currently have (which would mean the day3 would need to be left to day5 before it could be tested, they thaw, test and re freeze), try long protocol, stick with same protocol as before. But ultimately I agree it makes sense to try and get another 1 or 2 embryos to send for testing x

@LF82 ahh that's the best update you could have given today 😃! I have read about people freezing or transferring Day 3 embryos so it's definitely possible, agree with others to speak to your clinic about this option.

@countrypunk when is your scan booked for, and what week? Hope it goes quickly for you!

Regarding reporting pregnancies.. it differs by region but in Hampshire there is a self-referral service to the midwife/antenatal team using an online form, it skips the GP stage (who basically just refers you to the midwife team). Google "pregnancy self-referral <your country>" to see if this is available as it's much easier and quicker!
I didn't self-refer until the Wk6 scan was viable this time round and would advise this because in my first two pregnancies I referred straight away after positive test and then had to deal with a phone call around Week 8 asking about booking me in for scans etc when I had to tell them I had lost the pregnancies - not what you want when already feeling shit! But hopefully nobody here will go through that again, just worth bearing it in mind xx

@Jx3303 Woohoo, you're back! How was your holiday? Feeling refreshed?

Thank you. I feel very different this time. I don't really have any excitement which I hope doesn't sound ungrateful because I know I'm very lucky to have another chance. I'm just trying to take each day as it comes. I keep thinking about my age and the fact that we haven't had any of our embryos PGT-A. I keep trying to tell myself I can cope with another miscarriage, in case it happens again. It's shit what IVF and loss does to us!

I've read your update about your next steps and I think that all sounds really sensible. Yes it will take some time but hopefully it will be so worth it. Xx

@Cat89 Hello! My scan is on 4 August and I'll be exactly 7 weeks. My clinic seemed keen to get me in asap. Just the two weeks to get through... x

@countrypunk aw thank you for the warm welcome back ❤️ yeah it was so nice to get away, it was very hot! I've been a bit up and down since we got back, the reality of what's next etc. but I'm trying to get back into healthy eating and have joined the gym in the hope it helps with my mental health as well as my rather round ass 😂

It absolutely does not sound ungrateful, after what you've been through I can fully understand the anxiety. I read somewhere earlier someone saying to someone else, which I thought was nice - this is a new pregnancy, a new chapter. I hope with all my heart tor you this chapter leads to a happy story 💕 I hope you've got some nice things planned to try and keep you busy until scan time. Take each day as it comes xx

Yeah I think I just wasn't expecting him to say testing, although I know a little about it from others I had sort of just assumed we'd do another transfer. I think he's one of the specialists in the testing and therefore could really tell me the benefits, it comes at a cost though but then so do the transfers so makes sense. Trying to enjoy the time we have off from appointments etc and have a nice summer. My period was due the other day and hasn't arrived yet, I'm hoping my cycle hasn't went awol 🤞🏻 xx

@Jx3303 💜❤️💜

Healthy eating and gym sound good. Not because your bottom's too round - just because I agree it's good for mental health!

Yes, you're right - new pregnancy, new chapter. I'm knackered so don't really want to do anything, but I've been staying at my mum's for a few days because my partner's away. She's been looking after me which has been v nice.

I see lots of women on these threads going for the testing. It's such a personal decision and you've just got to do what feels right for you. It's great you've got a testing specialist to talk to and advise you. And it sounds like you're taking a bit of time to think about things, which is also very sensible.

I hope you really do enjoy the rest of the summer. So important after the trauma you've been through. Also selfishly very glad you're back, you ladies are my IVF therapy group! Xx

@countrypunk I had been doing well all week until yesterday but back to it today! Just need to stay focused and motivated, on something other then IVF. Not that easy though 😂

Aw that's lovely you're staying with your Mum and she's looking after you, she will be enjoying taking care of you. How long is your partner away? Was he here for OTD? Take plenty of naps and just look after yourself xx

Yeah we didn't have to make any decision, the chat was a request from me just to ask what they'd have said if they'd seen the cyst and it turned into more of a "what next" call even though my OH wasn't on it with me. Honestly the Dr was amazing, he chatted with me for an hour and said it was nothing we'd done to cause the MMC, and that it was good we'd had implantation, and my body didn't want to give it up. I had 3 pages of notes haha. It was just when he started talking about cycle 3, I was a bit like oh but I've got 4 embyros in the freezer - and he spoke about testing, and doing the last cycle to see if we can add to it - and it's paid for I guess. Rather than test, transfer and then end up having to do cycle 3 and paying for the whole testing again.

You ladies are the therapy too 💕 appreciate each and every one of you. Xx

Just to agree you ladies are all definitely my therapy too! This group is amazing

@Jx3303 I am glad you have a plan that you are comfortable with and that you have some time to rest, recover & feel like you. Though completely get why you had originally thought you wouldn’t need another egg collection. But it’s paid for at least. Is PGTA testing per embryo? It’s all such a mine field knowing what to do isn’t it. So glad you had a lovely holiday!

@countrypunk 4th August isn’t long at all! Just need to keep yourself busy!

I haven’t slept well last night…. Anxious about what todays phone call will bring

@LF82 sending you all the love for todays call. I hope they call early and it's some really positive news 🤞🏻 how did you feel during stims this time round - ok?

The starting cost is £1350 and that's including one embryo, any additional will be £350 each so as it stands it should be £2400 with the 4 we have, and £350 per additional so maybe around £3000 if we got another one or two. When you think if I did 4 more transfers that would be around £10k (meds dependent) so it's worth doing the testing to see which are normal and ok for transfer. I also don't think I have 4 transfers in me. The money side stresses me out so I try not to think about it. OH needs to do some chatting with his health care to see if any of this is claimable 🤞🏻

@Jx3303 thank you! I hope they ring early too 🤞
It’s so hard not to think about the money side if things but it will come from somewhere and I try & think that we can always earn more money. I hope that you do a get a few more embryos on your next egg collection to add to the ones being tested! x

@LF82 they know how important the calls are, I've always found the embryologists at our clinic lovely and very caring so I'm sure it will be soon.

I know - I try to think that way too, you're totally right, more money can be earned. I've spent so long saving as much as I can, so it's hard to let go of that mentality but then knowing the additional costs I know I need to again. But we need to just keep going. I had a lot of days when I wasn't sure I could or if I wanted to, but I know we've come too far to give up just now x

Day 3 update - good news … all 4 embryos doing well. We took the decision to move them all forward to day 5. Hoping that’s the right choice and we won’t regret not freezing one at day 3. Now on to the next 2 days of waiting and feeling anxious!

@LF82 that's fantastic news! I'm so very happy for you!!! I hope all 4 are going strong on day5 and can be added to the freezer, and that gives you a fab number banked ❄️ hope you've got a nice day ahead xx

@Jx3303 thank you. I actually managed to stop worrying for the day which was nice. Just hoping we have some good news tomorrow too. Hope you are having a nice weekend x

@LF82 I'm really glad you had a nice day after your call. It's such an anxious time. I know we always want the best possible number but also any that make it to day 5 are amazing. With cycles the Drs are hoping for one so one is a huge achievement, anything over is an added bonus. We both did well to get 3 first cycle, I was told 3 for 3 cycles was the aim so keep that in mind - as hard as it is I know. Xx

@LF82 that's great news!!
Totally agree with @Jx3303, even one at Day 5 would be a success and break your last 2 cycles of no embryos, 2+ would be absolutely amazing and icing on the cake. You'll have a good number in the freezer to start trying transfers then x

@Cat89 @Jx3303 thank you so much ladies, I truly appreciate your support x

@Jx3303 Hello, sorry for disappearing yesterday. Having a bit of a wobble. Someone I know is also pregnant and is having major morning sickness and I'm not and it's worrying me. I know every pregnancy is different but I didn't have any last time either and I'm freaked out about it. I know it's a bad sign. I also know there's nothing I can do, I just have to wait till the scan and somehow not go completely insane. Ugh. Anyway.

Had a lovely time at my mum's, home now. My partner was with me on OTD. I woke up really early and woke him up too so we could be together for the moment! He's back tomorrow. I think I'll have a big cry on him.

My doctor said that about implantation too. I hope you took comfort from that. It's a really good thing. Your body wants to be pregnant! Xx

@LF82 That's fantastic news! This part is so incredibly nerve-racking but you're nearly there. Thinking of you very much. Xx

@LF82 so pleased to hear your 3 day update. Hoping todays 5 day update goes just as well!! Will keep my fingers crossed!!

@countrypunk ah i am with you! I have had very very few symptoms my whole pregnancy so far (at 10 weeks now) and it’s difficult not to worry about it. But all my scans so far have looked good so it is totally possible. I also think it may still be a bit early for morning sickness most people say it starts at 6 weeks but only gets bad 8-10 weeks so maybe it’s still on the way. It’s weird hoping to feel ill but I totally get it.

you are doing great though, keep taking it 1 day at a time and enjoy that today you are pregnant. Sending lots of love. Xxxxx

@Foreverhoping33 Thank you! I feel better for reading that. I stupidly went on one of the pregnancy threads where everyone's talking about being sick as a dog at 4 weeks pregnant. I need to stay away from that board...

So glad to hear everything's well with you. Sending love back. Xx

@countrypunk absolutely no need to apologise 💕 I'm so sorry you had a hard day. I hope you're feeling a little better today. It's so easy to compare and worry but you're doing so well. I know the anxiety must be super difficult 😞 take each day, don't beat yourself up about worrying either because after everything we've all been through, I know we all understand.

It will be lovely to have your partner back today too for a big cuddle 🥰 so glad he was with you for OTD, that must have been lovely.

Yeah it was comforting that we'd had implantation and my body didn't want to lose it, he really restored some of the faith in myself that I'd lost but you know what it's like, the worry and fear sets in again not long after unfortunately.

@Foreverhoping33 so happy to hear all going well with you ❤️ I hope you are enjoying the time and continue to feel good x

@LF82 sending all the love for todays update 🤞🏻 I really hope with everything that those 4 embryos are going strong and can get popped in the freezer along with the others and you can take comfort in knowing that the collections are done xx

@Jx3303 You always say such lovely things 🥹

You're right, there's not a lot any of us can do about the anxiety at every stage. It's good to be able to talk about it.

I'm gonna have to fight the dog for first cuddle with DP! I expect she'll win 😆 xx

@countrypunk aw so do you ❤️ I know I will feel incredibly anxious at next transfer so do understand just not at that point yet. I wish it wasn't like this, IVF is so difficult mentally that to then add on miscarriages, failed transfers, anything that goes wrong really just makes the next stage even more nerve wracking. Talking helps for sure. I've been trying to talk a little less with my OH about it as we're not actually doing anything right now until a scan in my august / September cycle but it's still constantly on my mind so it really helps having you ladies as you all totally get it. Taking a break physically isn't always as easy on my mind.

I'm dreading it as I managed to stay relatively chilled (for me ha!) after last transfer but as soon as I got the positive I was nervous. So I know I'll be on edge the whole time next time even before any testing. Let the feelings come, I find meditation helps and some light yoga. It's better to feel them, acknowledge them and try and let them pass than worry about burying them I think. Does your clinic offer counselling? Because I strongly believe that's massively helped me. My clinic offered and again after the MMC a few times but I still have my NHS counsellor.

Aw how lovely, she'll have missed him too 😍