IVF November 2022 - thread 2

[countrypunk]

Hello everyone, shiny new thread for us IVF warriors.

@Crystal88
@Jx3303
@LF82
@Hopewishprayer
@Foreverhoping33
@Cat89

@Jx3303 I am ok, been busy at work this week which to be honest has really helped keep my mind occupied. Didn’t have time to chase the patient co- ordinator today so will try & do that tomorrow. Still getting my head round having to go on the pill for 21 days when my withdrawal bleed starts x

@Jx3303 hopefully it all happens quickly and you can move on

@LF82 hopefully the wait will be worth it and give you a better chance next time

@Foreverhoping33 hopefully best birthday present for you

@Crystal88 thanks lovely I am very hopeful! Though also not so positive that it will work this round for some reason I’m not so sure why….

Oh @Jx3303 im so sorry that you are going through this 😞. The one benefit of doing the miscarriage procedure is to have it done and then start the mental healing earlier. This just seems unfair. I hope you are ok! I wish I could do something to help. This whole journey is horrific, but we will all get there in the end. Sending lots of love!!!

@LF82 sorry to hear work is busy for you too but glad it’s distracting in a good way. Hopefully the wait will give your body a break to rest and come back stronger than ever.

@countrypunk how are you getting on? Are you trying to do a transfer this month?

@Hopewishprayer how are you doing too? Have you had your 12 week scan now?

Hi all -How are you?

@Foreverhoping33 i have my fingers crossed for you! When’s test date?

@countrypunk how are you lovely?

@Jx3303 how are you feeling? Did you go back to the hospital?

@Crystal88 not long to go before you can start!

I had a weekend off thinking and worrying about all things ivf which was really nice. Not easy to do! But was needed. Got a follow up consultation with my clinic this week & am just waiting for my withdrawal bleed to make an appearance x

Hello @LF82 a weekend off worrying and thinking about all things ivf sounds great! Well done you!! Good to have the follow up call too and to talk to them about what you can do for next time.

mmmm I’m ok, feeling very very anxious if I’m honest (which isn’t that usual for me). My test date is Saturday and I am not testing before. But I feel very very negative about this transfer do not think it has worked at all. Complete opposite to last time where I was so certain I would get a positive test. My period would be due tomorrow and I have bad back ache today exactly as I normally do. 😞 think progesterone is just holding it off for now.
ah well will just have to wait and see.

@Foreverhoping33 I am so sorry you aren’t feeling too positive but remember you have a good few days to go & lack of symptoms might of mean anything really as lots of women have different symptoms/none at all? I have to say I would do the same as you and not test until the day- have seen some threads where they are testing twice a day and I think that would send me stir crazy. I have everything crossed for you x

Hello everyone, I'm sorry for going AWOL. We're starting our next round in a couple of weeks and both had shitty news re AMH and sperm quality so just feeling a bit pissed off with the world generally right now. Didn't want to bring my negativity to the thread and also I think I just needed a mumsnet break.

I've been thinking of you all, especially @Jx3303. I've caught up with your update and I'm so sorry you're still going through it. The universe can be a right bastard sometimes.

Right now I think I could cope with the cycle failing completely much better than another miscarriage. I'm scared of it happening again. I do have confidence in our new doctor so just need to hold on to that I suppose. What will be will and all that.

Love to all. Sorry, after saying I didn't want to bring negativity to the thread I seem to have done exactly that! Something nice: my 18 month old niece is coming to stay in 2 weeks and I can't wait to see her! Plus it's DP's bday this weekend and we've got lovely things planned. And civil partnership is booked for October!

Hope everyone else is OK. I'll catch up properly with the thread now.

Xx

Thinking of you too @Foreverhoping33 It's the worst wait isn't it. Hope you're bearing up. Not too long to go. Xx

Practical stuff in case it's of interest/help: doc recommended short protocol this time. She said my response last time was very good for my AMH, but my AMH has reduced since then so she's going to put me on highest dose stims possible. She said she recommends this and short protocol because if anything goes wrong (early ovulation/over response) she'll be able to rescue the cycle.

I'm quite happy with that because it means I get to avoid the hated buserelin.

Has anyone else here done short protocol?

@countrypunk completely understand taking a Munster break and you aren’t bringing any negativity to the thread at all! Firstly a huge congratulations on booking your civil partnership 🥰 It will be lovely to have something to look forward to & plan.

Forgive me, I can’t remember who your new clinic was? Assuming it’s not Create. Though whilst they do mild ivf I think it’s a short protocol too. I think it’s that you don’t have to start off on the pill then the stims. So glad you have a new doctor that you like and trust - I have everything crossed for your next round x

*mumsnet break! Not Munster 😂

@LF82 really glad to hear you had a lovely weekend and a break from all things IVF. How was your meal for hubbys birthday? Good you've a follow up this week with the clinic, should they have your MRI results for that too?

@Foreverhoping33 I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling anxious and not positive about your transfer. I really really hope that AF stays away and as @LF82 said, so many symptoms can be the same for period and a positive. Stay strong. And fully with you on the not testing early! I have everything crossed for you x

@countrypunk don't ever feel like you have to be only positive, we're here for the good times and bad! I've been very negative lately and I do apologise for all the bad energy. I'm really sorry you've had not very good news about AMH and sperm quality. I'm really glad you've got faith in your new Dr. And I completely understand what you mean about being scared - I'm not through it yet and I have so much fear about the thought of trying again. Lovely your niece is coming, you'll have a lovely time I'm sure! And for your DPs birthday and huge congrats on getting your civil partnership booked, that's amazing and something very special to look forward to. I did short antagonist first two times which I just think meant no down reg?

Not much new with me, last scan was Thursday when they said there are clots and tissue and what looked like still a sac. I've had very little bleeding since then so I know the next scan on Wednesday will be the same. I think I'll probably have to try medical management I am hoping at home. Meant to have a friends wedding this Saturday too but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to say to her we can't go. When I confirmed I expected this all to be over with physically. I had a counselling call today which was good but has left me tired and drained. Trying to set myself little tasks and tell myself it will be a good day. Still daily crying but I am really trying. Hard when it's not over. Thank you all so much for the support and I do apologise for all the sadness from me of late xxx

@LF82 Thank you! Munster 😂😂

It's a small clinic in our city. They actually outsource the lab work to our previous clinic, but all treatment decisions are made by the doctor who runs it, and she seems to know what she's taking about. Hope she does anyway 😬

I see you've got a follow up consultation soon, and then is it another round for you too?

Me and DP hung out with a friend and her absolutely lovely 12 year old son last weekend. Sometimes what we're missing out on hits so hard.

@Jx3303 Hello lovely. You mustn't apologise either! We should all stop apologising shouldn't we. We're here for the bad and the good.

Yeah, no down reg. Hopefully it means the raging mood swings will be more manageable...

I'm so sorry that you're still going through the process. I hope you're doing things that bring you comfort. I told myself I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to do while I was going through it, and I didn't.

Have the doctors said they don't want to do more surgery, or have you chosen medical management? Xx

@countrypunk hello love - I've been thinking about you and hoped you were ok, and understand a mumsnet break. I know we really should - every time I apologise to my OH or Mum or boss they tell me off!

Yeah hopefully you just start stims and the couple weeks less meds will give you less symptoms to deal with.

I think just having such a set back is so hard. I'd expected to be doing a bit of work again but I've not managed what with the pain, and then being in hospital and now the more waiting. I'd hoped physically I'd have been ok and then I could start to mentally heal. They said they could do surgery again but if they didn't get it all first time they'd probably not the second, so not much point. Which doesn't give me much faith. And I was so scared about all the bad things that can go wrong during surgery the first time! I have to see what they say on Wednesday and I'll do a test tomorrow I think to see if still hCG which there def will be. I haven't done one yet and the Dr was like you don't have to now as it will very likely be positive but she gave me two away with me. I find tests so triggering so I'll do it and get OH to look at it. On the wrong side of the stats yet again. When this is all done we're taking a break. I need it so badly xxx

@Jx3303 This is such an ordeal for you. I'm so sorry the surgery didn't work out the way it should have done. Have the doctors been able to explain why or is it just one of those things that can happen? I suppose our wombs can be awkwardly positioned sometimes which might make it difficult to see things.

I hope you're not worrying about work. It doesn't matter. Resting and healing are far more important.

A break sounds like a very good idea. You need some time to process everything that's happen and build your strength back up.

Lots of love. Xx

@countrypunk the back and forth appointments begin to get me down, as I'm sure you understand as I know you had weeks of unknown too before your MMC was confirmed. It's just so tough.

They had said something about my lining and there being something which they thought was maybe just blood that they couldn't get to, and that the surgeon had got another surgeon. And then again at the scan last week they asked had I had problems with my lining but I hadn't at time of transfer as far as I know.

Really trying not to worry about work and have for a Drs not for 2 more weeks but I'd really hoped to not have needed it all.

When do you roughly think you'll be starting again? Xx

Finally did one of the cheap pregnancy tests the hospital sent me away with last week. Still a glaringly obvious second line and it's 2 weeks since surgery 😭 knew it would be which is why I didn't bother doing one last week so didn't come as a shock x

@Jx3303 the meal was lovely thank you, a night out was just what we needed. Yes hoping to hear what the MRI results said at the consultation too. Though at the moment create are saying they haven’t been emailed the results and the MRI place are saying the have sent them twice!

@countrypunk yes the plan is to go again… think it will be July 🤞

thinking of you both & everything you are going through/feeling. Definitely no apologies needed for way ivf makes us all feel xx

@LF82 ah lovely, I hope you enjoyed some wine too! Oh that's annoying, hopefully create do get them soon - maybe they sent them to a generic email rather than direct?

Xxx

@Jx3303 thats what I thought! Have asked them to check. How are you feeling today? X

@Jx3303 Sorry, I didn't mean to not respond - I was travelling back from somewhere last night.

I'm starting again in 2 weeks. Kind of intrigued to see what my body does this time! Although also I've not been very healthy over the past couple of months which is stressing me out a little. Oh well, nothing I can do about that now.

I know it's hard not to feel guilty about work but really, it doesn't matter. This time off is for you to recuperate and you need it. Xx

@LF82 Hello! You're not far behind me then 🙂💜

@LF82 I hope they get the results soon and you can have everything discussed in your upcoming call ❤️

@countrypunk that's ok 💕 2 weeks isn't long, it's always a daunting wait and I know hard to relax. Don't beat yourself up about not being healthy, mental health is as important in all of this - it's so hard to be healthy all of the time - when I did my first round at create I hadn't been healthy at all, think I was the heaviest I'd been, had been on an all inclusive holiday with lots of drinks 2 months prior and it was my best round. And I'd tried all sorts of weird health things for other rounds.

I met my boss and work friend at my bosses house for lunch. It was nice to see them and I made the very difficult decision to not attend my work friends wedding this Saturday. Absolutely gutted and of course if this had all been over we were going, but I just can't with this hanging over me and I'm determined to leave hospital tomorrow with a plan - I think at home medical management. She completely understood and was amazing. Just didn't want to have to pull out 😞 but also I was exhausted being there a few hours so know I also don't have 10+ hours of socialising in me to manage a whole day wedding xx

@countrypunk you will be little behind me then has I just start 15/6

@LF82 hopefully you will have some answers soon

nice to have you two has buddies doing cycle at similar time

@Jx3303 hope you feeling bit better

@Foreverhoping33 sending you positive vibes for test date

I’m feeling ok, have acupuncture on Friday and then it’s just waiting for my AF

i feel ready now to start this mad cycle all over again xx

@Crystal88 Oh that's great, we'll cycle pretty much together! Are you long or short protocol?

@Jx3303 I remember you saying that before and it's comforting! I've read so many blogs where women claim to 'cure' their infertility with zero sugar, zero alcohol, all vegan, removing all chemicals from the home... I think like you say, best to stay as unstressed as possible rather than obsess over diet.

Completely understandable about the wedding. What you're going through absolutely rinses you emotionally and physically - a day and night of socialising would be very difficult on top of that.

Xx