IVF sibling round support

[itsmschanandlerbong]

Just wondered if there would be any interest in setting up a support thread for those of us thinking about a sibling round. This could very much be a 'me' issue but I feel a bit awkward sometimes posting in other threads, it's a bit like being stuck between being very lucky and fortunate having had a successful round, but also struggling with the challenges of having to go through it all over again. I've found it difficult to know my place in this community now.

So yeah, is anyone else trying or thinking about trying for their sibling round yet? Ill post a comment with our story.

@beachbum85 How old is your DS again? DD will be 22 months soon. She'll poo sat on the potty (but with her nappy and trousers on) and she's very good at saying when she'd pooed and had for a little while been able to say when she needs a poo (but not every time). She doesn't seem to know when she needs a wee though, and doesn't show any signs she's having a wee, so we've held off potty training in earnest. Think it would be great if you could avoid having 2 in nappies! I'm sort of thinking we'll potty train in the Spring when she's 2.5 just so its easier to leave her with less clothes on, and hopefully she'll have a better idea that she needs a wee and it'll be a bit easier. I'm also a bit reluctant to do it now in case there is a regression when baby is born which seems fairly common. DD can say there is a baby in mummies tummy, and she sort of gets the concept that there is a little brother or sister, and that she's a big sister. We've been talking lots about sharing and things, but don't think she really has much of a concept about it all. I'm expecting her to be quite jealous to be honest as she ever tells my partner to move if we're having a cuddle so she can climb on me instead😂 I hope you have a good break - must be such a relief to be feeling better. Hopefully the consultant on Saturday will be able to give some reassurance

@Overlyanxious Yeah, I'm not too bothered if she's there at the birth, just don't want her to be upset is all. Showing her some videos is maybe a good idea. Sorry to hear you aren't feel well today. Try not to overthink it either way if you can x

@Overlyanxious how are you feeling? I hope you've better and managing to stay relatively sane in the last few days xxx

@2mumlife my son is just a little older at almost 25 months. We haven't yet told him anything about having a sister so, although he knows I have an ouchy tummy sometimes and he can't climb all over me when I'm feeling sick, we're thinking this might be the window where we potty train, and it's summer, and he hopefully doesn't link it to the baby... but I do worry about regression too! He tells us when he's done a poo, not a wee, so similar to your daughter, and a couple of times he's started to pee without a nappy (when waiting to get into the bath for example) I've told him to stop and wait and he has, so I'm thinking he might have some control over the urge? We're probably being a bit optimistic here, and my mind is not really in the right place for potty training right now, but at this point now is as good a time as ever so we've bought the potty 😅

Thank you both for your kind thoughts for yesterday's scan. It was a bit of a mixed bag really... the doctor confirmed that the baby has a missing duct, but the body has found a workaround (through the liver which is the best case scenario when missing) and everything else is looking fine (the nuchal fold is now measuring normal). So, from what we could see now and with the caveat that it's still very early, he thinks the most probably outcome is that she's well. He did suggest an amnio though, to rule out any less common chromosomal issues (which the missing duct can be related to and the NIPT can't pick up) so we're currently weighing the pros and cons of that. Overall he was optimistic and the info we have now is more positive than a couple of weeks ago, but my mind still keeps going to the worst case scenario... I'm away for work this week so that will be a good distraction and then we have another scan back in London on the 17th, so we'll see what they say about the amnio...

@beachbum85 I did think of you over the weekend. I'm glad it's more positive, but sorry you have to still wait. I hope the 17th comes round nice and quickly for you and keeping my fingers crossed for you.

I am sending myself slightly crazy. I felt really pregnant for a few days and then all those symptoms have gone which has reminded me of my miscarriage and then I keep thinking AF is coming due to aches. I don't know why I keep googling as it won't give me the answer. Just need to wait till Wednesday for testing and then blood test to confirm if positive

@Overlyanxious Try not to psych yourself out. You're doing so well with the wait, and you're so nearly there. Keeping everything crossed for you for a positive test on Wednesday x

@beachbum85 That sounds like a really good sign if he has been able to stop weeing and hold it. My sister has just started potty training her wee boy (he's 32 months) and honestly he's got it fairly quickly despite never showing any inclination to potty train / never saying that he needs a poo/wee etc. They did a weekend of being nappy free, and an intensive 7-10 days of them/nursery making him sit on the potty every 30 minutes (because he can't say when he needs to go). Lots of accidents the first few days, but after like 10 days, he had first time of asking to go to the potty, so they've extended the amount of time now they go before making him go sit on the potty. I think if you put your mind to it (and he's fairly ready, which he might be) then go for it! To be honest seeing my sisters wee boy potty train makes me think DD probably isn't that far off, and if she'd been that little bit older like your boy I think I'd be tempted to try it.

The scan sounds on the whole ok? I'm probably being really stupid here, but what is the duct that's missing / rewired do? Bodies are amazing thing, and its fascinating that baby has essentially tried to correct things during development. It sounds from the consultant quite positive. Were they able to say if the wiring of the duct would cause any issues for baby? Or is it a case that you can expect she can live her life totally normally? Hopefully on the 17th they just confirm same as you were told today, and at least you have a bit of time to consider the amnio, collate your questions / concerns etc. I'm really hoping that everything turns out to to be ok. I hope at least this latest consultant has offered you a bit of reassurance x

Thanks @2mumlife How are you?

@Overlyanxious I'm doing fine, just plodding along really. DD's sleep has been a bit hit and miss at the moment which is tiring, and getting a bit of lower back pain now, but otherwise feeling good. Finally feeling better from whatever I had the last couple of weeks, so starting to make a plan to start getting ready for foetus coming (including trying to come up with some names!).

How are you doing today? How are you feeling about testing tomorrow?

@2mumlife glad you're finally feeling better, but sorry to hear about the bad sleep. That's exciting thinking of names.

I'm not doing great. I've got myself into this massive panic that even if I am pregnant it's not going to last. The feeling nauseous last week for a few days has really thrown me. So in a way testing isn't worrying me that much as I will be either unhappy or stressed. I need to stop obsessing over it really and just see what happens.

@Overlyanxious I'm so sorry to hear you're having a tough time. The waiting is horrible, and its so easy to end up in a spiral. Do you have anything nice planned for the weekend to try to look forward to regardless of the outcome? I know you know this already, but having/not having symptoms means so little at this stage. In the waiting phase, I just always think every day I don't bleed is a good day (I bled before OTD on all my BFNs). The good thing about doing a sibling round, is you have evidence that you can get pregnancy and that pregnancy can result in a beautiful child. Just keep reminding yourself that you can get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy, when you have the right embryo. All you can do is take each step as it comes along that journey to another baby and try to remain cautiously optimistic. Sending you support from afar, and rooting for you for tomorrow x

Thanks @2mumlife you're right and I need to just take it as it comes and I'm very lucky to already have my DS. I haven't got anything planned yet for the weekend but need to get something booked.

Hi, so I got a positive today and has been confirmed by blood test. I didn't sleep very well so I'm exhausted today. Now to wait for my scan on the 1st August

@Overlyanxious Ahhhhh!!!!!!! Amazing!!!! I’m so sorry I didn’t get the chance to check back sooner, we’ve been travelling to my partners family in Ireland. How are you feeling? Keeping everything crossed for your first scan 🤞🤞🤞🤞

@2mumlife thank you 😀 I'm ok but still feeling worried. Hope you have a nice time in Ireland. Do you have any holidays booked before lo comes?

We had a good time thanks, though I'm totally exhausted now. Have a few days rest and then we are seeing a friend in London for the weekend. After that I've put a bit of a travel ban in place 😂we actually have a caravan break up north planned in September that we booked before knowing I was pregnant, but going to see how I feel about going closer to the time.

You experiencing any first trimester symptoms yet? I found I could only start to relax a little after the 12 week scan. Found I relaxed more after the 12 week scan this time than I did with DD.

@beachbum85 How are you doing? Sending you lots of positive thoughts for your scan tomorrow

@Overlyanxious huge, huge congratulations! I'm so pleased you got a positive! how are you feeling? I can imagine you're counting down the days till 1st August but I hope you're feeling a bit calmer a few days in xxx

@2mumlife Glad you've recovered and you had a fun time away but I totally understand the exhaustion and travel ban, although a caravan break sounds like a lot of fun! Enjoy London this weekend in the meantime 🤩

I'm doing OK thanks! Just back home after a crazy busy week of work last week, and a few days to recover by the beach 😊I must say that last week's chaos was a great distraction and I barely had time to think about being pregnant, let alone worry about it all. Just to answer your earlier question: the duct connects the placenta to the heart, and it's not needed after birth, so if we can get to a healthy birth then there shouldn't be any long term effects, as I understand it.
We also heard of 2 sets of friends of friends with the same issue over the past week or so (I was under the impression it was a lot rarer than that) and both had perfect outcomes, so I'm feeling a lot better but we're planning to go ahead with the amnio if all looks the same and it's offered tomorrow. Depending on how that goes we will decide whether we're in for the potty training adventure starting Friday 😅sounds like your sister's experience was OK, and the nursery have already told us they'll do the whole prompting thing so just maybe...

Thanks for thinking of me, both, and for the positive thoughts, I appreciate them all xxx

@2mumlife oh that sounds like a lot of travel. Glad you had a nice time though.

I haven't had any symptoms yet apart from a dry mouth so I'm freaking out a bit as I'm sure I had some this time last time. I just keep thinking it doesn't feel right. I'm hoping I've just become ridiculously anxious, but I do worry that I just know. The 1st August feels ages away.

@beachbum85 lots of luck for your scan.

@beachbum85 I hadn't seen your latest update. Glad you've been kept nice and busy and you've had some positive stories. Really hoping you don't have to worry about it anymore after tomorrow

@beachbum85 Few days to recover by the beach sounds ideal! I know what you mean about keeping busy, and that's probably been a good thing. That's really interesting about the duct, never heard of it before, and great that what you're looking at (hopefully) is just making sure babies growth etc stays good and you carry to term ok? Really hoping all you'll need is a bit of monitoring maybe? Keeping everything crossed that there is only positive / expected news tomorrow. Let us know how you get on x

@Overlyanxious I think its really hard not to compare, but not everyone has the same experience with different pregnancies. As someone who felt awful both times, I would say embrace not feeling too bad, but I know it gives some reassurance if you're feeling horrendous 😂 I always think the weight for the viability scan is actually worse than the TWW, as you're constantly wondering if everything is still going ok. Hopefully scan on the 1st can bring you some reassurance

Hi all. I've been passed this thread from a thread I posted about trying for a sibling after a successful second transfer for my first. I'm due to start a long protocol next week as that's what worked the first time. I have now had a chance to look at my remaining 4 Frosties and they are not as good as the first two(although one of those failed). Does anyone have success stories of similar situations or are going through similar currently? Best of luck to all!

@Jaffa1989 Good to see you found your way here :) My 'best' two embryos were a BFN and a CP. There is definitely something to be said for later embryos working! They're the slow-and-steady wins the raise embryos I like to think :)

@2mumlife thanks so much for letting me know about the group! It's been so helpful already ❤️

Hi @Jaffa1989 glad you made it here!
I agree with @2mumlife. Both our frosties were the same grade (4BB which is good but not great), and the Day 5 one which was considered better was a BFN whereas the Day 6 one stuck (I was calling it our best-for-last embryo). If they're good enough to be frozen, then they definitely have potential 😊the stats say that girl embryos are likely to develop slower as well, so there are a lot of factors in the mix.

@beachbum85 That's really interesting about sex of the embryos maybe making a difference, never heard that before. We're both fairly convinced this one is another girl, so that nugget of info may be another pointer we might be right!

@beachbum85 that's really interesting! I have a little boy front my second transfer so maybe a girl is meant for us next! 😂

Just a quick update - had my GTT and first growth scan today at 28 weeks. Measuring 1.3kg which is the same as DD at this stage, so looks like I'm on track for another 8.5lber 😂 everything looking totally fine, so assuming my GTT results come back clear in the next couple days I've got the greenlight to continue to plan a home birth 😍

Hi there I’m just jumping on this thread for some support and to share in this as I fee a bit funny posting in other threads when I already have a little one.

backstory. After the usual ttc we started ivf in 2022. Had egg collection with a freeze all due to high amh and thankfully got 7 embryos frozen. Our first FET resulted in an empty sac and had to go for surgical management of miscarriage. Our second transfer was in September 22 and we now have an almost 14 month old son.

were now at the stage where I’m not getting younger at 42 and we feel ready to try again. So we have scan and consults booked next month then looking at a FET around October or so depending how things go