IVF sibling round support

[itsmschanandlerbong]

Just wondered if there would be any interest in setting up a support thread for those of us thinking about a sibling round. This could very much be a 'me' issue but I feel a bit awkward sometimes posting in other threads, it's a bit like being stuck between being very lucky and fortunate having had a successful round, but also struggling with the challenges of having to go through it all over again. I've found it difficult to know my place in this community now.

So yeah, is anyone else trying or thinking about trying for their sibling round yet? Ill post a comment with our story.

@2mumlife not initially but now I've found out worry about me being too stressed due to us recently moving. It did get quite stressful. I think for me I'm quite an anxious person so waiting won't necessarily help,

That's exciting you have your 20 week scan so soon. Keeping everything crossed for you.

@Overlyanxious Hope you can come to an agreement. I can understand waiting after a move, but equally as you say its going to be stressful / anxious anyway!

Thanks @2mumlife we did decide to just give it a go for June but it's looks like I'm out for the cycle as my period has started early and I don't have the meds. How are you getting on? And how is everyone else?

@Overlyanxious Have you tried calling your clinic? There is normally a day or two of leeway at the start of the cycle, and I've done a mad drive to the clinic and back before to pick up emergency meds? I guess you can also just take it as a sign to miss it this month?

Doing well here. Had my anomaly scan and baby all ok. They confirmed an anterior placenta though, which I'd kind of thought might be the case as I've been feeling way less movement. It really sucks as I'm really missing feeling baby move regularly like I did with DD. There was a bit of concern about my cervix length, so had to come in again last week for a repeat measurement and see my consultant but he's said he's not worried, but going to keep a closer eye on it, so in again this week for another check. Otherwise just plodding along.

How is everyone else doing?

@2mumlife the clinic have said I can come in on Thursday for a scan so I guess will see what happens then.

Glad the scan went well and I'm sorry about the placenta as it's always nice and reassuring to feel the baby move. However I remember my little one could be quite sporadic at times and caused me lots of panic. Glad all is ok on the cervix length.

@Overlyanxious That sounds promising! Hopefully you can go this cycle :)

Yeah I miss the more regular movements but think it helps its second pregnancy so I don't feel too worried when I've not felt movements for awhile. DP is coming to the cervix check on Thursday so will be nice for them to see bubs again as well :) at least that's the upside to all these checks!

@2mumlife they've said I can go for this cycle so that's good. Although I'm also full of panic now. It's not been a great week as things keep going wrong, like the car breaking. So that's not helping

It is nice having extra checks to see bubs. I had quite a few last time and I did enjoy that although I did get a bit fed up of so many appointments

@Overlyanxious Yeah I’ve had a lot of appointments both times, and it does get a bit time consuming. Great you can go this cycle! Not so great about car though - hopefully it’s not too expensive / long to get it fixed.

Hi everyone, I've been MIA a while but I've been thinking of you ladies...

@Overlyanxious happy to hear you've settled nicely and, after those up and downs, I'm glad you're going this cycle! I'm guessing your DP got on board 😊and you must be in the midst of it now - how are you feeling?

@2mumlife I'm so glad your anomaly scan was all clear! How was your last cervix check? I had an anterior placenta last time and it really does suck to feel baby less, but I did feel him A LOT later in the pregnancy so hopefully it's just a matter of extra time. Did you DP get the new job? 🤞🏼

It's been a bit of a rollercoaster here... I've been really unwell since the beginning of May with nausea all day every day, vomiting most days, and having to spend many evenings in bed. Obviously not great with a 2 year old who can't really understand, but he's lovely rubbing my 'ouchy tummy' and my partner has really stepped up. We got the NIPT results back all clear, so that was a major relief, and we're having a girl, which was my ideal situation since we already have a boy, so a couple of high highs there. But the 12w scan last week showed a high (although not abnormally high) NT as well as a possibly missing duct, which could indicate a cardiac problem, that could be nothing or could be very severe, but we won't know at least until 16w (early anomaly scan) or possibly 20w (anamaly + cardiac scan). It was great to see baby for so long before we realised there might be a problem, and it sounds like we're going to have many extra appointments too and the wait is so, so, so long. I'm trying to focus on the 93% chance they've given us of all being totally fine, but it's pretty hard sometimes.

I hope everyone else is well xxx

@beachbum85 great to hear from you. I've been wondering how you've been doing. Sorry to hear you've been feeling so ill. Keeping my fingers crossed everything is fine with the baby. I hope the time goes nice and quickly till you find out.

I'm having my transfer Friday. So currently on the increased emotions of will it/ won't it work.

@Overlyanxious How exciting! Wishing you the best of luck with the transfer :)

@beachbum85
Its so lovely to hear from you but so sorry to hear you've been going through a lot. Do you have an HG diagnosis? Did you have that much nausea during your first pregnancy? It sounds totally miserable. I really hope it starts easing up for you. I found the first trimester harder the second time around, but things really started to improve around 10-12 weeks, so really hoping you'll come out the other side of it soon.

The scan must be such a worry. It sounds like they are just being cautious hopefully? That the duct might not be missing, and NT measurement might not mean anything is wrong? It will be such an anxious few weeks until the 16 week early anomaly scan. Can / are they doing any tests in the meantime? Or is it really just a 'wait and see' approach for now? I guess the extra appointments will depend on what they see at 16/20 weeks? Keeping everything crossed that baby is just absolutely fine x

I did have a bit of an issue with cervix shortening, and had a scan every week for 3 weeks after my 20 week scan, but everything is ok. I'm 25 weeks tomorrow, so cervix checks have stopped now (they aren't really helpful in spotting preterm labour after 24 weeks). I've finally started to feel baby moving around more the last week-10 days which has been good, and must more reassuring. I was really ill last week (vomiting and cold/cough) and half suspect I might actually have this new covid variant tbh. Its totally wiped me though. Pregnancy is definitely harder the second time - I look WAY bigger than I did with DD (though I had a super small neat bump with her) and its definitely more tiring. DP didn't get the job unfortunately, but we're getting married this weekend in a small, relaxed ceremony in my parents garden with a couple of friends and family. My dress only just fits! but other than that things are pretty much there I think.

Thanks @2mumlife

I'm starting to worry now about multiple things affecting the transfer - I'm just getting over a cold, it's ridiculously hot and I need to pick up and carry my 19 month old. All things Google says isn't great. Any advice on how not to panic about it all?

@2mumlife have a lovely wedding this weekend. Sorry to hear you've been feeling poorly and it's all a lot more difficult. Has it been hot where you are? (Are you in Scotland?)

@Overlyanxious Yes, in Scotland so its not that warm! In terms of trying to relax, I didn't do ANYTHING for our transfer - I was breastfeeding, picking up toddler, not doing any special diet or anything. And it worked. I think we like to think that we can control the outcome by doing all the right things, but its really easy to forget when you're in the IVF world that, actually, embryos are really robust, and if they are viable and are going to implant, there is VERY little you can do to actually stop them. I think the most you can do is try to just be as relaxed as possible and live your life as normally as possible, and trust your embryo to do its thing :)

@Overlyanxious very best of luck for tomorrow! Like @2mumlife said, I also try to remind myself that it's almost all about the embryo and very little you can do will change the outcome. I also try to put everything into perspective and remember that there a women who get pregant and deliver babies in much hotter climates, and much more strenuous situations like war and similar. I know that doesn't change our situation and the worries related to that, but it is a sign of the resilience of embryos and women's bodies, I think.

@2mumlife congratulations!!! Have a lovely wedding this weekend 😍 I'm sorry about DP's job and that you've been feeling unwell, and I hope you get to enjoy and celebrate your relationship, the end of the cervix checks, and feeling the baby a lot more.

Thanks both of you for your kind words and support!
I totally agree that pregnancy is a lot harder second time round, but I was pretty sick with my son too... I don't remember it being this bad but I may have just blocked out the details! I don't have an HG diagnosis but I do have some anti-nausea meds which I'm trying to take sparingly, and the last 2 days have been a bit better so hopefully it's easing up!
It could be that they're being super cautious about the potential cardiac issue, and that's what I'm hoping and telling myself right now. I tried to get a private scan earlier but everyone said that earlier than 16w will be too early to get the reassurance we're looking for. We'll be away in my partner's home country in the meantime though, and we've booked in for a generic scan with the head of fetal medicine at one of the hospitals there, just in case we can gather some more info and reduce the wait just a little 🤞🏼🤞🏼

Thank you @beachbum85 I hope the nausea eases soon. I can't imagine how tough it is for you and @2mumlife having toddlers as well.

Oh that's good idea to have a scan with someone in fetal medicine. I hope that helps and they can give reassurance.

I am trying to keep things in perspective more and I'm hoping time will go quicker with a toddler around to look after.

How is everyone getting on?

@2mumlife I'm ok, but just have a strong feeling this one isn't the one. I guess we'll see next week though.

How are you?

@Overlyanxious I would say you never know - both times I got pregnant I had really low expectations to be honest. Keeping everything crossed for you

@2mumlife I'm back to feeling more normal about it today. I guess emotions are high. I'm also exhausted as my Ds has a cold and cough so isn't sleeping very well.

How are you doing? Do you have an extra scans?

@Overlyanxious I always find I do ok with the TWW (well always been 10 days in our case) for the first 5 days, and then start to struggle towards the end. I think its really easy to kind of psych yourself out, overanalyse everything etc. Glad you're feeling a bit more settled today. There are some horrible things going around at the moment, poor Ds. If he's congested at night I find the calpol plug in does actually help.

I'm doing ok physically, though still coughing and overly exhausted from whatever plague we had a few weeks ago. We had a really nice wedding at the weekend though which was lovely, and photographer forgot that I'd previously said I was pregnant and we had a fun moment during the photos when she realised I was pregnant and got all excited and said she couldn't tell, which at least helped me feel like I'm not as huge as I currently feel I am! I get lots of extra scans, but on a bit of a break at the moment which is nice, as my last cervix check was at 23 weeks, and my growth scans don't start until 28 weeks, so I'm enjoying a couple of weeks of not needing to go up to the hospital! I've also got the GTT to look forward to at the 28 week appointment 🙄. Now wedding is over though I need to do some proper thinking through birth scenarios, as I still want a home birth, but need a plan on childcare arrangements for DD if I was to go into labour overnight, or a day she's not at nursery, or needed to be transferred to hospital. We really don't have friends or family close, and she's on the clingier side so its not that easy. Its only quite recently she's started being much better with other people, but I'm still the one who settled her during the night and things. My biggest concern about the birth is actually making sure DD is ok 😂

@beachbum85 When is it that you're off to visit partners home country? Do you have long to wait now until you can see the consultant there?

@2mumlife I'm so glad to hear you had such a lovely wedding - sounds like lots of fun 😍congratulations again! I'm sorry you're still feeling unwell though, that's a long time to be struggling with a cough and fatigue... I hope the break in appointments will give you a chance to rest a bit more than usual. Although, at this point, I'm stopping myself from thinking too far ahead, I totally understand your worry about your daughter! I'm already worried about how my son might be affected - wanting to potty train before he realises that (hopefully) a baby is coming along, for example. Very legitimate concerns I think, but luckily kids are pretty adaptable on the whole, you have quite some time to plan, and hopefully your daughter will be excited about the baby and all the birth itself won't be too difficult for her, and you 😊

We got here, to my partner's home, over the weekend and have had a good few days off as my parents were also visiting, so that was a great distraction. I've also finally stopped feeling so sick, so things just generally feel a lot better. We see the consultant on Saturday, so not toooo long to wait now, but it can't come soon enough!

@Overlyanxious the rollercoaster of emotions during the end of the tww is real... Hang in there! Especially with lack of sleep and your son being unwell! I hope he gets well soon and you feel better too. When will you test? Keeping everything crossed for good news for you xxx

@2mumlife oh I'm glad your wedding was good, but sorry to hear you are still poorly. There does seem to be this horrible cold/cough at the moment. Ah that is tough on the planning for the birth. I guess worst case scenario she will need to be present for it and I'm sure that must happen a lot. You could always try to help prepare her with videos of births.

@beachbum85 oh that's good the nausea has stopped. It makes such a difference. Good luck for Saturday and glad you've had some distractions. Thank you for the luck. I'm due to test on Wednesday and then if positive I go for a blood test the same day.

I'm feeling a bit unwell today - hot flushes, bloated and a bit sicky - but not like I'll be sick or can't eat. Can't work out if af is coming, I feel ill from poor sleep or anxiety or is pregnancy symptoms (probs a bit too early though)