IVF sibling round support

[itsmschanandlerbong]

Just wondered if there would be any interest in setting up a support thread for those of us thinking about a sibling round. This could very much be a 'me' issue but I feel a bit awkward sometimes posting in other threads, it's a bit like being stuck between being very lucky and fortunate having had a successful round, but also struggling with the challenges of having to go through it all over again. I've found it difficult to know my place in this community now.

So yeah, is anyone else trying or thinking about trying for their sibling round yet? Ill post a comment with our story.

So our story.

We had been TTC since summer 2018. We went to our GP after 1 year and were referred for further testing. We found out that my husband had a very low sperm count. I also had a huge cyst on my ovary that needed removed. In December 2019 the cyst was removed, but whilst doing so, they had to remove a small part of that ovary. The surgeon also found endometriosis. I’m not sure of the extent of this because I never had a follow up. Following this, we were referred for ICSI. Covid-19 happened and delayed everything.

In June 2021 we had our first cycle. My AMH was fine for my age at 18. During our first cycle, my left ovary just didn’t respond and this was the ovary the cyst was on. We collected 8 eggs, only 2 fertilised and only one was viable for transfer, a 4CC. This ended in a chemical pregnancy.

In August 2022, we had our second cycle. Again, the left ovary just didn’t respond. Our medication was changed from menopur to gonal-f. We collected 7 eggs and 3 fertilised, so this was a slightly better result. Again, only one embryo was viable for transfer, a 4BB. This resulted in baby boy, born May 2022.

We starting thinking about starting the process of our sibling round at the beginning of this year. We thought we would at least get the initial testing done to get a better idea of my AMH and DH sperm count. We've had those tests done and had our consultation 2 weeks ago. My AMH is still OK at 11, but DH had zero sperm found. This was a shock for both of us. We arranged for a repeat sperm analysis and bloods and we have a consultation in 2 weeks to discuss these results. He had the flu at the end of January and had a high fever for a few days. I'm hoping that's what's impacted his sperm count and that it will increase again. The analysis will have been 6 weeks apart. It's been a really difficult couple of weeks, just trying to process it all and think about what happens next.

So yeah, that's where we're at. If sperm is found in this analysis then we are just going to go for our sibling round as soon as we can.

Hi @itsmschanandlerbong !
I remember you from the August 21 cycle thread... It was also our second round, we also transferred a 4BB, and our baby boy was also born May 22 🥰

We would like to try for a sibling soon... We have 2 frozen embryos so it would be a FET rather than a full round. But my cycles haven't returned and I've been having trouble weaning from breastfeeding so for now we're just waiting.

I'm really sorry about the sperm test results and I can imagine the worry. I have my fingers crossed that it was a one-off and these results will be fine. Sending love.

Hey! I remember you too. Thank you, I hope so too, another week and a bit to wait then we'll know and can go from there. Thats good you won't need to go through a full round again, though sorry you're having trouble weaning from breastfeeding. I did read a lot of clinics ask you to have stopped before transfer.

Hi @itsmschanandlerbong I’d like to join. Agree it would be good to have a separate thread. I welcomed a little girl after 5 years and 6 rounds of IVF-ICSI. Also a 4BB randomly enough!! I actually asked to transfer it after failed transfers of AA embryos.

I have x3 frozen embryos. One untested, one PGS normal and one low level mosaic trisomy 1 ( on retest so they've been biopsies and defrosted twice so not sure if they will survive another defrost!) we haven’t agreed how much more ivf to do as I’m already worried about all the hormones I’ve taken but we would likely do 1/2 more egg collections.

have you guys discussed how long you will try for a sibling?

we are hoping to do a transfer in September. I’ve just finished breastfeeding and got my period back so hoping for a couple of normal cycles and planning to do some tests and scans to check lining is ok as I had a c-section.

Hi @Dochas12111 that's good you have some frozen left and that sounds sensible about doing further tests and scans. I think it's sensible to put a limit on the number of cycles to do. We haven't discussed this in detail, we were waiting for the initial tests to then figure out where to go from there. In my head I think we could probably afford to do a maximum of 2, I don't want to get into major debt or effect the quality of life we have at the moment. It just feels like such a gamble again.

Hi ladies, is this thread still going? If so can I join? I’ve just had a failed transfer 😞trying for a sibling for my son born in June 21 via FET transfer. We started with 8 embryos first top grade 5AA was a chemical, 2nd was my son 5AB and we have just had a negative test with a 5BB so we have 5 left one 5BB and the rest 5BC. I know they say don’t get hung up on grades but you can’t help it and I keep thinking we have one more good grade then the rest are poor so this worries me. It’s been a very sad morning getting a negative test so I’m just looking for other people in the same boat to support each other… it’s a tough road ivf! I think I’m going to have to drink wine at lunch today 😳hope you are all doing ok x

Hi @Bobbin83, I'm so sorry about your negative test and totally understand how gutted you must feel 💔 Big hugs to you... it is a very tough road and you totally deserve that glass of wine (and more)! I'm sorry if it's too early to ask, but do you know how long you will have to wait before attempting another FET?

@itsmschanandlerbong how are things with you? I really hope you got better results from your last analysis and are coming up with a plan for your sibling round x

@Dochas12111 hi! we haven't discussed how long we'd try for a sibling either... I think I could handle another couple of egg collections, but not too many failed transfers (emotionally). Having said that, I'm almost 38 with relatively low AMH so I don't feel like time is on our side.
I also had a C-section and hadn't thought of checks, so thanks for mentioning, sounds like a good idea.
Any tips on stopping breastfeeding? 😅

Hi guys, sorry to hear about your failed transfer @Bobbin83 definitely some wine is called for. Be kind to yourself x how old is your DS? I’ve had failed transfers with all AA embryos and my one that worked was a BB so I wouldn’t write off the BC yet! I’ve definitely heard stories of them working.

@beachbum85 yes I think it’s worth getting a check. I’ve heard of people having scar tissue or fluid and finding out after wasting embryos! no tips on breastfeeding sorry - I always have DD one bottle so it was just a matter of slowly swapping to more bottles. I will say I had a massive hormonal impact of stopping breastfeeding - dizziness, anxiety, anger, sadness, general craziness!!! When I said to friends they all said oh yeah that happened me too- I can’t believe no one talks about it. It took me a good 2 months to get right again after stopping although I do think I stopped quite quickly in the end so maybe that’s why it was bad but just to warn you to be careful and also see about starting into IVF soon after stopping in case it is an issue.

my DH wants to go do the checks in June then aim for a transfer in October. In case there is anything that requires a few months to sort out. Honestly I’m dreading getting back into it. I’m so happy to have my DD and worry now about miscarriages, failed transfers etc sucking me back into the black hole! I’m 37 and low AMH though so like you @beachbum85 I can’t afford to wait!

How are you @itsmschanandlerbong

Hi @beachbum85 thanks for replying 😊my clinic guys in London say 2 months before going into another Fet so probably try again my July cycle as June is a busy month and my son turns 2 so I don’t want to be in the thick of it then when I want to concentrate on him! Feels a long time but I also feel a bit battered from the hormones this cycle and need a bit of a break! I turn 40 in May and I was really hoping to be pregnant as I feel time is ticking away but at the same time need a break it’s a weird feeling.

@Dochas12111 hey thanks for replying, my son is almost 22 months now! He is my absolute world I must say that this time the failed transfer is slightly easier to deal with as I have him! The first time I felt in despair I would never be a mother as our first round of IVF we didn’t get any blasts it was horrific! Thanks for your encouragement about the embryo grading 😊

have you guys had your embryos PGS tested? X

@Bobbin83 I'm so sorry, it really sounds like you've been through the mill with this. It is true what they say not to get hung up on the numbers though, my boy is a 4BB. Hope you enjoyed that wine!

@beachbum85 I stopped breastfeeding 3 months ago when my boy was 8 months old, more of a forced decision because he started biting and NOTHING I did got him to stop. When I had actually made the decision to stop, I felt a huge sense of relief. I stopped suddenly and switched to formula with one bottle of expressed milk per day until my stash ran out. I pumped whenever I felt full and this gradually decreased until maybe 7 - 10 days when I got nothing. My boy really surprised me by how quickly he adjusted to the change. Like @Dochas12111 I also had a hormonal dip for a couple of weeks too so definitely something to be aware of.

DH repeat sperm analysis contained sperm. His count is still very low, .3mil/ml but enough not to need any frozen. I can't tell you how relieved we were! So we have started the process of going for a fresh cycle. I have bloods and swabs on Wednesday, consents the following Wednesday then we'll hopefully be able to book in the next cycle which should be mid-may, starting stims mid-June!

@Bobbin83 I haven't had any PGS tested so I can't answer that. I did wonder if you have been given any extra progesterone for transfers?

Helllo would love to join this thread.
We are starting to try and conceive second child next month.
Our issues are low sperm count and PCOS (double whammy). We want to try naturally for 1-2 years and then will consider IVF. This is purely because we don't have the funds for IVF right now so need to save. I know chances of natural conception are very low in our case but no harm in trying.
We were Ttc baby 1 for 18 months and conceived on our first round of IVF ICSI. My son is now 15 months and he's just the best. I really hope we are fortunate enough to conceive baby 2.

@itsmschanandlerbonghope you had a lovely weekend! I did indeed enjoy that wine, probably too much. Had my first hangover in a long time yesterday and reminded me I can’t drink more than a couple of glasses or I feel rough 🤦🏻‍♀️ I will try and not focus on the grading even the embryologist told me to stop fixating on it 🥴

I was taking progesterone pesseries twice a day but my clinic don’t do any monitoring so I have no idea what my levels were at transfer, it is actually going to be one of my questions when we do our follow up, if they can check that next time to make sure its optimal. Do your clinic monitor your progesterone levels? Another of my questions is the transfer window. I’m concerned that it was too long on the progesterone so it was 6 days for me as they don’t do transfers on the weekends I had to wait until the Monday, sometimes it feels like it’s when it’s convenient for them rather than best for me although I know that’s likely not true as they want there stats to be good so I’m sure want to do everything possible to make it successful 🤔

Hi @decor340 welcome, congratulations on your son and good luck trying naturally! We have MFI so low motility and a translocation which we had to have PGD for to eliminate and embryos from having the translocation in an unbalanced form so trying naturally is a big gamble for us so we don’t! Luckily the 5 we have left are all balanced but not PGS tested so they could have a different chromosome imbalance that we haven’t tested for but I have been reading a lot on PGS so testing for everything and it’s got very mixed reviews by professionals and us also on the HFEA’s red list for no evidence to suggest it leads to more live births!

I’m rambling now…sorry 🫣 fingers crossed things work out for you naturally and you don’t have to dive back into IVF x

@itsmschanandlerbong really happy for you that your repeat sperm analysis was better results this time I can imagine that’s such a relief for you guys! My husband had to completely overhaul his lifestyle and have numerous sperm tests at the beginning so I completely get how nerve wracking it is waiting for the results! so it’s really good news you can get started on your sibling round we are here to support you 💪🏼 x

Wow that sounds so complicated. Can I ask what the readings of Sperm was please?
I can't actually fully remember the results of my partners. He's got a varicocele though and they said that's the cause xxx

Hi everyone, I was literally just wondering if anyone else was going through IVF with a child already, when this popped up! Hope you don't mind me joining.

My wife and I have a 22 month old girl, we conceived her with donor sperm at home so didn't need to use a clinic. We've been trying for me to have a sibling for her since she was 2 months old so it's been quite a journey, but now feel we're on the right track. I am in the middle of our first IVF cycle, alarms set to trigger tonight!

Taking the pen out of the fridge at 1am, injecting at 1.30am, and then being woken up by a very awake toddler at 5.30am, is not the calm relaxed IVF experience I'd be wanting 😂

@RunningOnHope sorry to hear it's not as smooth as your daughter's conception but very best of luck for this round and the trigger tonight! Those timings are tough 😅 are you aiming for a fresh transfer? Will be thinking of you these days x

@itsmschanandlerbong I'm so glad that you can proceed with a fresh cycle - what a relief! And everything is moving pretty quickly for you, double relief 🙂

@Dochas12111 and @itsmschanandlerbong thanks for sharing! In fact, none of my breastfeeding friends ever mentioned these effects of stopping. My baby has been refusing a bottle ever since he turned 4 months, despite us trying to give him a bottle almost every day... sigh... but I've been reducing and stretching the time between feeds and I've noticed myself being very moody. I put it down to returning to work but now I'm thinking it could also be the hormones!

@Dochas12111 do you know if the NHS will do those checks if you're self-funded? or are you going fully private?

@Bobbin83 that's not too long to wait and if the extra month means you'll go into it more at ease, I'd say it's definitely worth the wait. Glad you enjoyed the wine and zoned out a bit in the meantime!
We haven't had our embryos tested either.

@decor340 very best of luck! We will also try TTC naturally as we're unexplained. I don't have much hope but it's worth a try, you just never know, although I dread the thought of ovulation tests and all that... no good at 'just relaxing' here.

Thanks @beachbum85, yes aiming for a fresh transfer. We only have about 6 follicles so will be happy if there's one or even two embryos out of it.

Managed to transfer last night but naturally DD woke up beforehand at midnight and afterwards at 3.30am too. 😬

*trigger, not transfer! Can you tell I'm sleepy...

I was meant to ask if anyone is still breast feeding and when did their cycle return? Still BFing my 15 month old and my period returned a month ago. Currently one cycle day 38 (normal for me as have PCOS). I just hope my body decides to ovulate.
We have considered IVF But it's so expensive and we don't exactly have any spare money right now. Also IVF isn't guaranteed to work, such a hard choice.

@beachbum85 I'm also not great at "just relaxing " . I try to but then my mind just takes over and obsesses about everything

@RunningOnHope glad the trigger is done and dusted! Collection tomorrow then? Enjoy your needle-free day and hope you can catch up on some rest🙂good luck with the numbers game to transfer🤞🏼

@decor340 I'm still breastfeeding too and I still haven't got my period yet 😕
I hope you manage naturally and don't have to take any of the difficult decisions.. you hear so many stories so it can happen!

Hi @decor340 welcome! Definitely worth trying in the meantime whilst you save some. It's just so hard when it costs an absolute fortune!
I stopped BF at 8 months, but my period came back about 6 weeks post partum - I was one of the unlucky ones!

@Bobbin83 mine don't monitor progesterone but I've saw on the FB group I'm on for my clinic that for women who have had losses or multiple transfers have had their progesterone increased. Hopefully your clinic will agree to monitoring and increasing. I've never heard of transfer on day 6 either unless they're leaving an embryo to see how it goes.
And thanks you! So much anxiety in between. He had the flu at the end of January so the doctor thinks that's what temporarily killed his sperm.

@RunningOnHope welcome and wishing you lots and lots of luck for this cycle!

Hi ladies, hope you don't mind if I join. My husband and I have twins through embryo adoption (he has azoospermia). We had one cancelled cycle in March 20 (covid), one miscarriage in Nov 20, and then successful transfer April 21 (from a 5BC and a 3BB - two years ago today :)) We have two remaining embryos from that set, and are also going through the process to adopt a back-up set. We're hoping to go for a transfer in August or September (we use a clinic in the US, so travel makes things complicated). We're still going through the paperwork, and I'm still breastfeeding, though.
Just getting back into things is getting my anxiety up (after 6 years of TTC for our amazing twins), so I appreciate the support!