IVF sibling round support

[itsmschanandlerbong]

Just wondered if there would be any interest in setting up a support thread for those of us thinking about a sibling round. This could very much be a 'me' issue but I feel a bit awkward sometimes posting in other threads, it's a bit like being stuck between being very lucky and fortunate having had a successful round, but also struggling with the challenges of having to go through it all over again. I've found it difficult to know my place in this community now.

So yeah, is anyone else trying or thinking about trying for their sibling round yet? Ill post a comment with our story.

How is everyone doing? We got a call from the clinic saying they wanted a frozen sample as a back up, so DH is going in for this next week. We'll miss this next cycle because the lab shuts for 2 weeks, but we should be able to book in June, starting stims July!

That's great news @itsmschanandlerbong - amazing to have a start date!! July will be here before you know it 😊

Thanks for letting me know you went to self-funding directly. I've emailed our clinic and they want a referral so looking to set an appointment soon. Otherwise just persisting with weaning from breatfeeding - down to 2 feeds night and morning - but everything is good here. I noticed I have a little bit of milky discharge (sorry TMI) for the first time since pregnancy so I wonder if my hormones are starting to settle?! I could do with a little less moodiness for sure 😅

Hi 👋 Can I join please? I’ve been trying to find a thread for ages for this situation!
My situation, DD born in 2020 (just before lockdown!) We were incredibly lucky as she was our first fresh transfer, we also had 5 frozen embryos. We started using these last year to try for a sibling. It hasn’t been going well :-( 1st FET BFN, 2nd FET early miscarriage and we’ve just finished 3rd FET which was BFN. Our last embryos are a 4BA and 3AB.
Don’t have our follow up until 5 June so have some time to think about what to do next. So many questions! I was quite hopeful we’d be able to have a sibling with 5 embryos, but now I’m feeling pretty pessimistic. I had said I wouldn’t do another fresh round but now looking like that might be a reality…at 38 though I don’t know if it’s worth it. We were unexplained originally. I am worried they haven’t explored possible damage
from my csection, although my ultrasound was clear for niches and other more obvious problems.
Thanks for starting a thread for this problem, I feel like you’re in no mans land - of course feeling blessed with one child but that doesn’t take away the pain for not being able to have another (easily!)

@Chocoholic85 Hi, welcome 🤗 congratulations on your daughter and sorry it’s proving difficult for you on your sibling rounds. I’m just starting that journey first FET of 6 remaining embryos after my son was a BFN just about dusted myself off to try again. We also had our follow up with the doctor on Monday 5th June and like you sooooo many questions… how did yours go? Are you any clearer on how to move forward, hopefully you are feeling a bit better. Our doctor didn’t think we should do anything differently as it’s only one negative since the birth of our son and would only look at changing things if we had more than one that didn’t work 🫤 x

Hope everyone is doing well with where you are in the process! At least summer seems to be arriving ☀️

Quick question to all. My successful FET we did a longer protocol which included estrogen tablets then buseralin injections, then progesterone pesseries. For my negative FET we did short protocol so only the estrogen tablets then pesseries a lot kinder on you BUT I can’t shake the feeling that because we didn’t replicate exactly what we did when we were successful that’s why it didn’t work, it’s actually likely to be a number of reasons I’m sure but I know you will get that feeling. I was told there was no clinical difference in outcome for both protocols but also told there was a shortage of buseralin and the clinic couldn’t get any so that made me feel a bit like hmmm is it the same or is it because you don’t have any 😬 has anyone got any advice on this? Not sure what to do this round the doc said I can do what I want he sees no difference and they have an abundance of buseralin again 🫤 I suppose my ramblings are asking what would you do? X

Hi @Bobbin83 I’ve had exactly the same worries about doing things the same as they were when I had my daughter, that was a fresh round though so can’t do everything exactly the same anyway.
We used embryo glue for her, we’ve used it in 2 subsequent FETs, one being a CP and the other BFN. I know the evidence is v.patchy for it anyway but like you I was being led by wanting to replicate the successful transfer!
I think do what feels right for you, if you have left over meds and you want to use them then do that. I think if you found the buseralin injections too much then I would lean towards not doing them if the consultant doesn’t feel they’ll make much difference. I suppose the protocol is just one of many many factors that impact the outcome of the transfer, as long as you respond well to the short protocol then I would lean towards that if it was me.
Our consultant also hasn’t made many changes. I could do lots of extra tests and pay lots more money but he doesn’t think it will necessarily make a difference given that we know I can get pregnant and carry a baby. I’m having a thrombophilia screen to check for clotting disorders and trying the estrogen patches again to see if we can get my lining a bit thicker. Last time I tried them I had awful side effects as possibly too much estrogen with the tablets as well so cutting them out this time.

@Bobbin83 I’m sorry to hear your FET didn’t work. I would be asking to replicate the protocol for the successful FET. Did you ask the consultant why he did something different? I think doing exactly the same as the successful one gives the best chance of another success and if it doesn’t at least you can investigate what else might be happening. I’m even repeating all the same diagnostic tests I had done prior to FET to try replicate the same conditions.

how is everyone getting on? I’m hoping for an October or November FET and starting back with clinic getting tests in August.

Hi!

@Bobbin83 I would ask to go back to the protocol that worked. Fingers crossed it works for you again!

@Chocoholic85 remind me again, are you going for a FET too?

AF should be due next week and I'll hopefully be able to book in, to start stims next month. Full fresh cycle for us again. Feeling so mixed about it all starting again. The cost for a fresh cycle is eye watering, and it feels like such a huge gamble. But it's worked before so hopefully it'll work again!

Hi everyone! Hope you've been enjoying the lovely summer weather ☀

@itsmschanandlerbong have you booked in? do you have everything planned for your new cycle? I can imagine the rollercoaster of emotions with that, and the financial stress with everything being sooooo expensive at the moment... but hopefully it will be successful once again and then it will undoubtedly be worth it all 🤞

@Bobbin83 and @Chocoholic85 how were your appointments earlier this month? How are you feeling going into your FETs?

I was referred back to our clinic for an FET last month and was told it's a 3-4 month wait. Stopped breastfeeding around the same time, but still waiting for my cycles to come back. @Dochas12111 maybe it's too optimistic, but I'm hoping for an FET towards the end of the year too.

Hi everyone, great to see you back @itsmschanandlerbong

Im dipping my toes in again. We have a 9.5 month old through ivf with a sperm donor (same sex couple) and considering starting to try for a sibling after she hits 1. My partners more interested in trying as soon as she’s 1, but I’m feeling a bit more hesitant to start this journey again (I’d be carrying again). We have 2 frozen embryos and I want to be in the best place mentally and physically to give them the best shot as I’d hate to have to do another egg collection (I don’t respond well to drugs).

How had everyone else made the decision to go again? I find it hard to decide when to join waiting lists again and feels tougher this ti
r around d to make the decision to try as I k is how physically and mentally draining it all is

Hi @2mumlife we're wobbling about when / how to proceed!

DC is still BFing so would need to stop for treatment (we would need another egg collection), and they're quite a handful so it's hard to find what might be the right time. They're into everything, hardly ever stop... and it would be so hard for them to have me unable to keep up. But then my head says to try sooner rather than later...........

@Scirocco Hey! Great to see you on this thread too!

We’re also still BFing (a lot). I joined an IVF and breastfeeding group to get myself
more informed about it all and we’ve decided we’re ok with doing FETs whilst I’m still breastfeeding, and clinic seemed ok about it when we approached them
to find out if they would treat BFing patients a few months ago.

Its such a tough call - I don’t want to stop BFing earlier than DC is ready to, but I feel like knowing how long it took last time for a BFP we need to start trying earlier, but I also keep thinking if it did work with one of our Frosties if I’m ready

Hi, I'd like to join if that's okay!

I'm a solo mother by choice to a 22 month old DD. She's magical and I'm so hoping to give her a sibling. I've started progynova today. My first scan is on Tuesday which is very soon - though this is due to the clinic closing to move locations in August. So they're scanning everyone early to check how they're doing incase meds need increasing etc. Which seems sensible!

I overstimulated on my IVF cycle so I had a freeze all and was lucky enough to conceive my daughter on the first FET. I feel a little apprehensive this time that I can't strike gold twice as it were!

@Olivia199 Best of luck!

@2mumlife I just messaged on the old ivf thread we were on about interest in trying for a sibling - it would be from November when my current baby is 1. I do feel like my hormones may be making me have crazy baby fever. Also interested in breastfeeding and a FET. Practically I would like to try soon as I'm now 40 and for many reasons don't want to wait too long if possible

Hello to everyone else - hope it's ok if I join and keep an eye on this thread. I need to read through it in more detail

@Overlyanxious Hi!!! Hope you’re doing well. How exciting you’re looking into a sibling round too. I’m still a bit on the fence about when to start trying - we have a by of time on our side as I’m only 34, but I know how long a process it can be (we’d done my hycosy just before covid started). I’ve still not had a period, so part of me thinks it might be good to wait until a cycle returns even though I know it’s possible to do a medicated FET. Has yours returned yet? Been reading that the average is for it to come back around 14 months post partum if you’re breastfeeding. My daughter feeds to sleep frequently during the night still so I’m not wanting to night wean yet. I’d also like to have a bit of adjustment time when I go back to work and she starts nursery before throwing in fertility stuff again, but I k is we probably need to get on waiting lists etc etc.

My cycle returned at 14 months post partum. My son stopped breast feeding in the night at 13 months old (of his own accord). I think that's what kick started my cycle again. He still breast feeds now in the day time but my periods have remained. He's 18 and a half months xx

@2mumlife no period for me yet. My son feeds a lot, but I'm going back to work next week so he will be on pumped milk and formula during the day so will see how that changes things. I don't want to wean him too early as I know he finds it such a comfort. So I guess this will affect when we can consider a FET. I am keen to start trying with our embryos as soon as we can as I'm 40 now. How many times in the night do you find you have to feed her back to sleep. I have to do it a fair bit.

@swirly3468 that's good to know. I am hoping my boy will do it naturally too.

@swirly3468 thank you for sharing your experience. Interesting he night weaned al by himself, there is hope for us!

@Overlyanxious We’re at least 4 times a night normally more like 6. She has started being able to settle a bit with unlatching and patting on bum (and sometimes she will unlatch herself and roll over for a Pat instead). I’m back to work from September and pumping has never worked for me and she won’t take a bottle any more so she’ll just be on water and milk at nursery so we’ll see if she feeds in night still

Hi @2mumlife I think I recognise you from our thread back in 2021... so happy to hear of your baby, congratulations 💛 we are somewhat in the opposite situation, where I want to do an FET asap and my partner would rather wait and enjoy our baby a little longer. Although I agree carrying is super hard, I'm also very conscious of my age (38 this year), and worried that 2 frosties might not be enough for a sibling and we'd have to go to another egg collection. So like @Scirocco said, it's more my head speaking, and I think it's be over the moon if it worked even if it's earlier than expected. We decided to get on the waiting list as soon as our baby turned 1, to get all the tests started, and then decide later if we'd prefer to postpone...

We just got a call from our clinic last week (a couple of months earlier than expected) and will have a consultation 1 August. I've also had my first proper period (about 6 weeks after stopping breastfeeding, and a bit more than a month after a strange bleed starting on my baby's birthday), so things seem to be happening now!

Hi @Olivia199 here's hoping you get super luck this time round too! How was your scan?

@beachbum85 That’s exciting you have a date for consult! Do you know what tests you’re expecting to need? I’m not sure how much trying for a sibling is like starting all over again - I’m hoping I might not need any tests as had a vaginal birth? It’s so hard making decisions as you have head and heart - we’ve also got 2 Frosties and I feel conflicted between wanting to be in the best place to give them best chance versus getting on with another egg collection if we need it (I’m 34 now so know our best chances are doing egg collections before I turn 35)

Thank you @beachbum85 ! I've only just seen this. The scan was brilliant and I was ready to go with a lining of 10mm, so here I am, exactly 7 days later, and heading off for transfer!

Ohhhh so exciting!! Very best of luck @Olivia199 xxx

@2mumlife I'm not too sure, really. I imagine they'll do some bloods for hormone levels at the very least, and I hope they check my uterus because I had an emergency C-section and would like to make sure there's no damage there. I've only ever had fresh transfers before though, so I don't know what to expect.
I can totally understand your internal conflict and definitely no right answer, and it just depends on when you and your partner feel it's time. Being a few years older, I would say that there's time for you to let your baby self-wean and take it from there, but I remember how eager I was to get moving with our egg collections when I was 34/35, so I definitely get both sides.

Hi guys, hope everyone is well. We’ve a consult with your clinic booked for next week so that’ll kickstart everything. I’m due my period soon so hoping we can do a hysteroscopy and Emma/Alice and general bloods in August then all going well FET in October/November.

Feeling more up for it now. I was dreading restarting the process before so just shows when you’re ready you’re ready.