Infertility general chat/support thread

[Roo45]

Not sure if this exists already, but I wondered if people fancied a thread just to vent and/or talk about things that have happened in their day that have either caused them to get upset or think a certain way due to fertility issues, regardless of where you are in the journey.

I feel like my friends who haven't got through this could never understand how infertility affects pretty much every part of my life now!

For example today I attempted to cook something complicated for some family members, it's quite rare that I cook for others even before the pandemic and I only make simple meals for myself. Anyway everything that could go wrong did and what I managed to salvage was largely uneaten.
I told my DH maybe the universe thinks I shouldn't have children because I'm so undomestic and can't cook for other people!

I just saw this and it made me lol. Very accurate. www.instagram.com/reel/CV2JczkFoTa/?utm_medium=copy_link

I love Amber's Instagram page. She's very real but manages to get some humour in. I might try her new podcast next week when I'm just doing admin bits.

@CurbsideProphet yeah I might check it out too. She comes across well.

Did you all see Sharon Marshall talking about infertility on This Morning? Here’s the link if you didn’t...

It was good to hear someone who’s been through this speaking out. My friend sent it to me in the week.

Feeling sad today. DH and I have a Zoom appt with a consultant this week. I know I need to lose weight and am trying my best, but I wish that they would listen when I tell them that these problems started about 10 years ago when I was a healthy weight. Feel like I’m wading through a quagmire every day. It’s exhausting.

@ChocolatePotCafe I'm so sorry, sometimes it seems like just the weight is looked at and everyone else disregarded!
I'm hopefully starting IVF cycle 3 soon, but I'm already worrying about it failing before we've even begun, my close friend has her son's second birthday next month due to covid couldn't do a first birthday, and I really don't think I'll be able to go if the cycle fails, she doesn't know about our IVF.

*everything else

@Roo45 wishing you luck for this cycle. I know you’re starting soon. Maybe you can skip the birthday?

I just had my final Letrozole cycle trigger shot. Last chance before ivf looms. But first it’s the husband’s 40th birthday and we’re going away from London for a week which is nice.

@thislittlebird thank you! Good luck and enjoy your time away!xx

@Roo45 oh I know how you feel. I'm already thinking about further failure before we've even started. Obviously someone said to me this week that I need to relax otherwise it won't work 🙄😩

@Roo45 and @thislittlebird good luck for your cycles..I hope InshaAllah it'll go well even though I know it's so hard to stay positive.

@CurbsideProphet the relax comment is so annoying..the last time someone suggested that to me I said it's easier said than done and really wish i could hear something more sensitive instead (it was my best friend so she didn't take offence but I'm sure others might..)

Just an update from my side..can't get any treatments before cervical smear results and they take upto 4 weeks after it took me almost 3 weeks to get an appointment...I've already missed one cycle and most probably will miss the next one too..just hoping it happens naturally and this TTC phase is over. Exhausted really!

Hope everyone's well :)

@seekingsolace2 exhausted is the word! It just feels like 1 obstacle after another doesn't it. Thank you, hoping third time lucky iA but who knows, just have to take each day as it comes.
Did anyone see that Ed Sheeran article about how relaxing is the key to TTC?!
Hopefully the end of this year and 2022 can bring us some progress in this TTC journey!xx

@Roo45 I was so annoyed at Ed Sheeran for that! At first I was pleased that another celeb was raising more awareness on how it can be difficult to concieve, but then he came out with the relax comment. ARGH!

@Janey3090 what did he say? did he struggle at all or just came out with some nonsense to annoy us?

That's the main part

The singer, 30, told how the couple had booked doctors appointments to check everything was okay after 'trying to have a kid for a while'.
They then welcomed their first child last August, after conceiving naturally during a holiday in 2019 to Antarctica - which inspired the unusual name.

He told US radio's The Breakfast Club: 'We had tried for a while to have a kid, and we'd started going to doctors and figuring out what was up.
A lot of it is mental. It's about relaxing. So many of my friends have been trying different things like IVF or making sure you're having sex at the right time on the right day, and then they go to a wedding and get p*ssed and relax and they get pregnant.'

He added: 'It's not a given. It is a real blessing when it happens.'

Yep, relaxing is going to cure our MFI. Honestly!!

@Roo45 ugh, I hate this narrative. Off to book a trip to Antarctica (????) and get drunk, that’ll fix it. Making sure you’re having sex the right time of the month is actually pretty important, Ed, but thanks for your insight

Also, it’s such a damaging narrative when plenty of women get and have got pregnant through history in times of immense stress. War, famine, violence, rape, the list is endless. I find this whole idea irresponsible.

@thislittlebird exactly. Whilst I'm sure stress doesn't help I'm sure it's not the reason most couples can't conceive! And it's just completely ignorant of any medical issues that might be underlying. People really have no idea do they. In a way I find it even harder when people who have struggled but now have a child tell me to 'just relax' 'book a holiday when you're ovulating' 'itll happen when you least expect it' like you KNOW how unhelpful that is?! Did you appreciate it when people told you that?! You've got lucky and I haven't, it's not that you were more relaxed than me and that's why you conceived!

It’s so irresponsible; undermines that infertility is a medical condition and implies a level of fault; that it’s our own faults that we’re not pregnant because we’ve let infertility stress is out! Imagine telling someone with cancer or diabetes to “just relax”

I’m into my FET cycle now, with transfer of dubious quality embryo, if it survives the thaw, booked for Wed. They’ve put me on injectable progesterone as well as the pessaries this time. It’s been a strange experience so far vs. my fresh cycle - you’d nearly forget it was happening. Hopefully I’ll say the same re: TWW (if I get that far)

@LucyLocket2021 good luck!! It's hard not to be anxious isn't it.
Re: the just relax comments I completely agree! I wish people realised just how upsetting and undermining it is.

Hi everyone, hoping for a bit of advice!

I'm new here and have just started a first round of stims and am a few days in, everything was fine for a few days and yesterday my meds were upped as the follicles were not progressing as hoped. Unfortunately a few hours after injecting I then was woken up in the middle of the night with the worst headache I've ever had and was violently sick for several hours and unable to keep any fluids down at all. I've never experienced anything like it. Long story short I ended up in A&E for fluids and IV anti sickness/painkiller meds and advice to talk to my clinic about side effects etc. I'm now back home after several hours but feeling awful. Never had anything like it happen before.

Naturally I wondered whether the the fact I'm on a stim cycle had something to do with it. I'm feeling a little better after the anti-sickness and painkillers but I'm now afraid to take my meds tonight. I called the clinic and they absolutely insisted this unexpected trip to the hospital had nothing at all to do with the bucket load of medications I'm currently on and to continue as normal. They even asked if I was 'stressed' and so felt a bit 'nauseous'. I'm a bit upset that they refused to acknowledge how severely ill I was last night and seemed a bit annoyed I'd even contacted them about it. This is the only time I've ever been in A&E and it just so happens to occur when I'm a few days into a stim cycle and on a load of meds I've never taken before? I'm finding it hard to believe the two are just a coincidence tbh. Again I really cannot reiterate how ill I was, quite literally the most unwell I've felt in my life and it was so sudden too.

Has anyone experienced similar? I'm now really scared to take the stims tonight and don't feel very supported by my clinic right now, they wouldn't even entertain the idea that this medical episode could be related to the drugs. Any advice much appreciated as I'm feeling rather sorry for myself after an eventful day!

@BlueSilver23 are the clinic saying you've had a severe migraine from stress or something?
I don't know what to say. It does sound scary. How upsetting for you that your clinic weren't interested.

@LucyLocket2021 I'll be thinking about you on Wednesday 💐 I'm a few weeks away from FET myself.

I can't even put into words how cross I am about that Ed Sheeran interview. So irresponsible. Why is infertility the one thing people think we can just shake off by booking a spa day or going on holiday 🤬😩

@BlueSilver23 I'm so sorry. What meds are you on? Vomiting can definitely be a sign of ovarian hyperstimulation, did you have any abdominal pain with it? Headaches can be side effects of meds too but I wouldn't expect the headache and vomiting together to both be associated side effects if that makes sense? Perhaps others can correct me if I'm wrong. A scan should be able to look at your ovaries so I'd definitely be asking the clinic for this ASAP. I don't think I have the experience to advise on taking stims, perhaps if you posted a new thread on Mumsnet rather than on this thread others will be able to see the subject matter and advise?
I'm so sorry again and really hope you're feeling better soon

@CurbsideProphet completely agree!!