ABC IVF thread continued

[StarryHannah]

Our other thread is now full so thought I would start this one to continue the chat.

@Beaglemum91 I'm waiting for my period so I can start meds for FET so that is really helpful information about the embryo transfer process. Thank you. Did you have your partner on Facetime or anything for it?

@Icsi2021 so excited for you xxx

@Hopeful1234567 I'm so sorry! I know it is devastating and so so hard. Take all the time and space you need. Once your feeling a little better treat yourself to some things you love all those little things help. One day at a time.

Officially just been told via phone call it’s failed. Broke my heart on the phone just could not help it. Just makes me worried this is a problem we have every month naturally as the NHS told us we have unexplained infertility. Xx

@Hopeful1234567 Thinking of you 💕

@Clapham4 did you ever get back your AMH results? Sucks you won't be going through with it straight away but I completely get wanting to see how things go with the NHS! I was hoping I'd have an IVF cycle twin but I'll live 😁

@kittyfantastico21 Good luck with your consultation tomorrow! Not too long to go now until your FET!!

@Hoping4baby21 Hope things are good with you and you're in a better headspace 🧡

@Francesmalin Before AF appeared, I was ready to postpone IVF indefinitely because I was ridiculously nervous! So I don't blame you at all for changing start dates a few times! The only reason I pushed through with IVF was because CD1 came around after I ovulated two eggs last cycle. If I couldn't get pregnant while the odds were in my favour, then they'd be no chance during a normal cycle so now I'm actually looking forward to IVF - seems like it's the only way to get DH's shy swimmers to meet my eggs (I reckon I have really intimidating, fear-inducing eggs 😂 poor spermies) How did your treatment consultation go today?

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I got my TSH result back today and it was normal 💃 I've booked in my treatment consultation for 1st July and I should be starting treatment a week after that around 9th July, which is when AF is due. I've been flip-flopping between excitement and anxiety and starting to feel a little manic 🤪 kittyfantastico21 do you know when in July you'll expect to do your FET? Anyone else starting in July?

I got a virtual appointment and consultation guide emailed over from CREATE instead of abc - was this the case for you guys? Either way, I've watched all the medication videos and still feel like I'll mess it up or hurt myself somehow, despite all your assurances!!

I'm also having my covid vaccine next Monday and worry it's either going to bring AF forward or push it back and mess up my IVF cycle 😪

@Hopeful1234567 I'm so, so sorry it didn't work out this cycle. You have every right to feel heart broken 💔 Please be easy on yourself. Take all the time you need to sort through your feelings and we'll be here for you always 💕 Sending hugs 💕

@Hopeful1234567 I’m so sorry your negative result was confirmed. Thinking of you and we’re here to support you. Take good care of yourself and I hope the clinic can help you work out a way forward.

@unCliche great news on your TSH and yay to booking in your treatment consultation! My treatment guide document was also from Create and sometimes my appointment confirmation emails are from Create too, I think it’s fine and just a quirk of the system. My next period is due on 10 July and I’ll be starting the FET cycle then with transfer late July probably so we might be on roughly the same timeline (although in a different process)! I was worried about the Covid vaccine messing with my treatment but it was totally fine in the end and definitely best to get it now. I’m having my second one in a few weeks and I’m so glad I could get it in before potentially becoming pregnant. I’d much rather take the chance of side effects now than have to decide whether or not to get it in the first trimester. You’re definitely doing the right thing!

@Hopeful1234567 I totally hear you and we are unexplained as well so I get what you mean about worrying it Will be this way always. I hope that once you have your follow up call you can feel reassured. I know I did (eventually) but it all takes time. Sending virtual hugs.

@unCliche I am feeling better I do still have my moments but I think that is normal how can you not. My husband and I have decided to go ahead with a FET next cycle so we will be almost buddies. My next cycle should start on 11th July (it loves a bloody weekend) but of course I'll be doing a FET, so slightly different. I had a few calls with the nurse consultant to ask her all my questions and make sure I felt comfortable enough to postpone the HSG and Lap surgery. At this stage I'm not prepared to put my body through an invasive surgery just to have a wee looksie and see what's up! Especially when it usually takes a few goes statistically. I'm hoping we never get there.

The nurse Edyta was so nice and took the time to answer my questions and explain everything, she is also doing my treatment consultation next week so that also made me feel comfortable. And eased some of the concerns which were making me consider the surgery in the first place. Either way I'm so unsure about the surgery and I don't think anyone should go through something like that regardless if they are on the fence. It's a big deal.

They don't keep an eye on the progesterone unless there is an issue indicative of progesterone issues like thin lining etc. So it would give me extra reassurance but I also feel reassured that that wasn't the problem in my case.

Im also going to have a session with the therapist as I think it can't hurt just to work through some of my thoughts which I find hard to express/verbalise at the moment. It is looking like 1 session is included in the price of the fresh cycle so I encourage anyone to use it, this is a tough process physically and mentally.

Oh @Hopeful1234567 I’m so sorry!! Jesus it’s just unbelievably unfair!!! I really hope you get some answers. They’ll do a follow up right? You will get there, we all will, but that won’t make it easier for you right now. Do you have friends / family to support you? You need to remember too there’s a 60% chance of it not working each time, and it’s accumulative so within a few rounds it should happen. I’m trying to drill that into my head too. Xxx

@unCliche sorry lovely I think my other message wasn’t clear 🙈 If my AMH is okay I’ll be going with ABC next cycle 10th July so you could well have a cycle buddy yet 🤞🏼🤞🏼 I’m still waiting on the AMH results. Emailed today and calling tomorrow to check on where it is.

Still have catch up reading to do from the weekend I missed quite a few messages on here 💕

@unCliche thanks for checking in and remembering about my appointment. It was really good and although we need to do a couple of things in the next couple of days we are able to start as soon as my period arrives. Also I will get the medicines very quickly in the next couple of days. Today I was really nervous but now very excited to start.

@Hoping4baby21 Edyta was also my nurse this morning! Luckily she said I can still drink a coffee a day! It's all that matters! Lol she also said no alcohol (luckily I can drink 00 beers) and loads of veggies and high proteins meals to prep for the treatment.

@Francesmalin best of luck for your cycle!

Yes I don't drink or smoke so that's easy peasy for me. Coffee I'm not a major drinker but I do love a random Starbucks etc.

There are so many things you can do ahead of cycles for lifestyle and diet.

@Hoping4baby21 I hope so, always feel like I’m a strong person but this situation of infertility tests me too far. I’m just worried about the pressure it’s already putting on my partner and I. I feel that I can’t handle the fact he had a child with someone else so easily and with me, I may never get to share a child with him. It’s not his fault. It just feels awful.

@Clapham4 Thankyou, you are very right and that’s what I try to think about, tried to prepare myself for this but nothing can prepare you for it. I do have people to support me but right now I just can’t accept any support. Feel like no one really understands apart from you all.

@kittyfantastico21 Thankyou your kind words means a lot.

Thanks to you all for being there. I know we don’t really know each other but in times like these it’s comforting to have a network of people who are so supportive and understand.

@Hopeful1234567 I relate so much with everything your saying. Your doing better than me I could barely talk about it for the first few days. This is the hardest thing I have faced in my life and it is awful. Take your time how you feel today vs In 5 days will be different, it will change each day. I say go with the flow of your emotions and try to feel it all. They say the best way is through grief, so I'd say don't fight it. I felt the same as you unsure how I could move forward and still have moments of that. I also have been keeping myself to myself not really seeing anyone I need that space to heal aswell. Sounds like you might feel the same, Do what feels right for you and don't worry about anything else.

If you feel comfortable have the therapy session especially as it is free to work through those feelings towards your partner. I think it's normal to struggle with that . It might help to just get it out to someone else and work through exactly what is going on in your mind about that situation. Xx

@Hoping4baby21 Honestly, been through some really hard times in life but this tops it and I just can’t see a way forward. Gives me hope that you have been/ are going through it and finding a way forward.

Yes I do want too. Still waiting for an email for the follow up but was going to ask then. Couldn’t face work today. I work with children, no one knows at work and I just can’t pretend today that everything’s okay. My partner just keeps saying it’s karma, his fault and he’s a bad Dad etc. Just such a horrible situation but he won’t talk to anyone about his feelings he will bottle it up and let it out on me which doesn’t help us.

Thankyou for sharing your experience with me. It is helping.

@kittyfantastico21 ok that's good to know! I was worried for a second that they forgot I was with abc! That's so awesome that we'll likely experience the TWW together! I think there's a few of us now starting in July so it'll get quite busy on this thread with updates. I'm relieved to hear that the vaccine didn't affect your IVF cycles. I am quite apprehensive but you're right, it's much better to be protected while pregnant. My second dose is in September so I could be pregnant by then. You're lucky to be able to squeeze yours in before your FET.

@Hoping4baby21 That's great news! So glad you were able to get through your dilemmas! An FET will be much easier on your body as it would have had time to recover from all the drugs so hopefully you'll find success with it! Since you're pursuing IVF anyway, it probably won't matter what your tubes are doing so I'm sure postponing the surgery was the right thing to do for you. Therapy is a good idea! Depending on how my cycle goes, I might go for it too.

@Clapham4 Yaaaaaay!! That means we'll be proper cycle buddies! I'm selfishly glad to have someone going through it as the same time as me! Good luck with your AMH results. I still think it'll be fine as your AFCs have generally been good.

@Francesmalin I hope for a speedy arrival of AF! And a speedier arrival of your medication! It really is exciting but just as nerve wracking so definitely message as often as you need to get all your emotions out - I already had a little freak out a few messages ago and the other ladies were lovely about it so know we're here for you 💕

@Hopeful1234567 I think Hoping4baby21 is right. Definitely look into the therapy session but also be kind to yourself and feel whatever it is you need to feel. You're definitely stronger than you probably feel right now and you will get through it! Also, I get where your partner is coming from in regards to the karma. I know it's not the same but when I was younger, I was with a guy and we were both carriers of a genetic disease which meant any kids we had would have a 25% chance of inheriting the disease. Back then I was distraught at the thought of having IVF to avoid it and was so against having it that I feel like it's come back to bite me and I'm being punished for my complete dismissal of IVF. It's definitely irrational, but your partner probably believes it so just keep things as factual as possible. I know DH has MFI and I understand that's the problem and it's something I need to keep reminding myself when logic fails me.

@Hopeful1234567 That sounds like such a tough situation, both working with children during IVF and things with your partner. I'm sorry that he won't talk about his feelings, that must make it really difficult. My heart goes out to both of you. It sounds like the counselling session could be helpful to you when you're ready. I'm glad you're finding it helpful to have our support too - I know what you mean, it feels like people who haven't experienced IVF can't really understand how it feels so it's so helpful to have others going through similar experiences to chat to. I hope as some time goes by you and your partner will both start to feel better.

@Hoping4baby21 I'm glad the clinic were able to answer your questions and you feel better about putting off the surgery and going ahead with FET. As you say, IVF can take a few tries to work so hopefully you'll get there without needing the surgery at all. In my consultation this morning they said they don't do monitoring bloods as standard but they can check progesterone level on the day of transfer although if the lining looked good then it was unlikely there'd be a progesterone issue anyway. It sounds like we might be on roughly the same timeline again! (Along with @unCliche and @Clapham4 - nice to have a few of us!)

@unCliche I'm sure your vaccine will be fine, too! I had zero side effects (apart from a sore arm) so I'm really hoping the same thing will happen with my second dose. I'm also really glad to have others to get through the TWW with!

@Clapham4 hope you get your AMH result soon!

@Francesmalin great news that your appointment went well and you can start soon! Wishing you all the best for your cycle.

My consultation this morning was good and I should have medication ordered soon (no injections this time, woohoo!) to be ready to get started in a few weeks.

Hi everyone, thought I'd come back and update following my baseline scan this morning. It went well, 20 follicles even though I ovulated on Friday - I am pleased with that. I also had my TSH and rubella bloods done and I have my consultation tomorrow. Lucinda was lovely! We are waiting to hear from the clinic's recommended urologist about a possible further surgical sperm retrieval for my husband, but we are also considering transferring the existing frozen batch we have at the London Women's Clinic. It's not a great sample, but we'll be doing ICSI anyway and it is 10 years younger than anything extracted today.... it's a tough call! I'm waiting to hear back from the LWC on the process/cost to move the sperm. If we are going for that then I am hoping to start the cycle after next, but it could even be next cycle if we can get things moving in time...

I've been trying desperately to keep up with everyone on this thread but I'm a bit rubbish. I hope your FET consultation goes well @kittyfantastico21 - wouldn't it be funny if we were there at the same time! @Hopeful1234567 I'm so sorry to read of your negative test. There's not much else than can be said and I feel a bit weird when I'm expressing my sadness at someone else's negative because I've jumped the normal TTC period completely and gone straight to IVF. I've not experienced anything near the level of heartbreak a lot of people have - but I am sorry. @Clapham4 have you had your AMH results back yet? Apparently my TSH results will be back in time for my consultation tomorrow.... I am already pretty sure they are going to be too high as they were 2.87 or something in September. Fingers crossed I have rubella immunity otherwise that's going to be annoying!

@lawandgin 20 follicles is great! Glad it went well. Lucinda did my baseline scan and my final treatment scan - she is so lovely! My FET consultation was via Zoom so I wasn't at the clinic today but it's funny to think that some of us might end up in the waiting room at the same time once our cycles start! That sounds like a difficult decision on the sperm sample, I hope LWC isn't too expensive/difficult to move it. TSH can fluctuate so fingers crossed yours will be fine this time, and also for the rubella result.

@kittyfantastico21 yes of course it was zoom...you'd think I'd have thought of that after over a year of zoom meetings at work and considering my consultation is via zoom tomorrow! I see you mentioned earlier it went well :-) I think it should be no more than a few hundred to move the sperm,. I've heard of people "borrowing" the container from the clinic for a couple of hundred and moving it themselves. There are also admin fees, but I'm not sure how much. I think medical courier fees are also in the region of a couple of hundred. I've looked back at all of the TSH tests I've had over the years and it's consistently around 2.5 or just over, so I think it is likely I will need medication unfortunately...

@unCliche totally can relate to what you are saying and know my partner would too. He’s 13 years older than me, we both feel like finally found the one in each other and tried for so long before IVF, feel like this is typical because I didn’t want children with my ex partner and always thought I’d be the auntie and now I do and just can’t seem to conceive. Feel like my partner needs a reason why it’s not worked out so far and it’s blaming it on the karma reason when it won’t be that. I have asked for counseling and signed off for a week just to deal things rather than bury it and let it affect me later on down the line. Xx

@kittyfantastico21 yeah it is hard and the fact we work at the same school so trying to cover it up has been a nightmare, had to bend the truth and say I had a mini procedure and not expand on it. Sometimes I wish that people would think if I haven’t said a hiring about what’s going on then they would know it’s for a reason but some people aren’t like that. Yes it really is, don’t know what I’d do without the support of this group.
Thanks again xxx

@lawandgin it’s okay, I understand what you are saying. Thank you for your comment I appreciate it. Tbh if I had known this was all going to pan out the way it has I would have done the same as you! Wishing you loads of luck. Can’t wait to see how you get on.

Thanks @Hopeful1234567 - take care of yourself xx

Did all of you do the THS test? My nurse didn't mention anything to me on our call yesterday. We are only doing the virology ones.

Rubella was a fun one for me! I did the vaccine in Feb but basically my body doesn't accept it and doesn't show up in the blood! I needed few proof for create/ABC to accept it! Lol

@lawandgin amazing! Good luck with your consultation. They really give a lot of useful information and are happy to answer questions so ask loads if you need to! I never knew that abc did sperm retrieval, so you must be relieved that you can continue with them. All the best with moving the sperm - hopefully you find a solution.

@Hopeful1234567 yes, you're absolutely right about feeling like you need a reason for why TTC isn't working. Sometimes it's much easier blaming yourself than someone else. I sometimes feel like it would be better if I had the infertility diagnoses because then I'd feel more in control of it. But my inability to have a child is because of someone else and it's really hard to accept that, so I guess we create irrational reasons to make ourselves feel like part of the situation - if that makes sense. Good decision to take a week off work. It will help to just focus on you and your other half and moving forward together. Take care of yourselves and look after each other 💕

@Francesmalin yes, I had my TSH test last Friday at CREATE and was given the results by abc yesterday. TSH was one of the results I had to have before I could move forward and book my treatment consultation. I'm surprised they haven't asked you for it unless it differs with each clinic? Ah, I've heard of rubella not showing up in blood before! Must be annoying! Did you have to do the vaccine through the NHS?

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Did/will you ladies take sick/medical leave or annual leave? I'm currently taking annual leave but maybe it's better I disclose to work I'm having IVF so I can take it as non-annual leave? But at the same time, because of covid, I have loads of annual leave days left with nowhere to go, so don't really mind using them.

@kittyfantastico21 oh interesting they said they can do a test on the day of transfer that is what I want and then one a few days after. Did they mention you had to pay for it? I assume so as bloods aren't included in the standard price. The nurse I spoke to said that I would have to do it privately and share the results as if o had to go elsewhere. Not sure why the lab we get normal bloods at can't just do it and they give me the form and I pay as I did for the TSH blood. I will push them again on that during my treatment consultation the more I think about it I need to do it just for my peace of mind.

@Hopeful1234567 I think that was the right thing to do taking time off and speaking to the Counsellor. You've got this, it isn't a race (although it certainly feels like that sometimes) take all three time your need.

@Francesmalin yes I had to do TSH and they said it can affect chances of
Pregnancy if too high so they test it. If it is high you get meds. It not then all goes as planned. Needs to be below 2.5. I would ring them and ask to make sure. Mind if you have had the test and send results they don't need it. My GP had tested my TSH but it was not within 3 months so had to redo. So check your current blood test results.

@Hopeful1234567 how are you doing today lovely? Xx

@unCliche @kittyfantastico21 @lawandgin thanks for checking in on the AMH. I called again today and still no news. I’ll try again tomorrow and if still no update I’ll ask them to put a chase in, they know I need it for a private consultation. Hopefully I get it and know this week. Mentally I’m trying to prepare for ABC IVF and I might not even get to do it 😩 Had a nightmare last night it was too low, so it really is taking up all my thoughts 🙈

@lawandgin great news on your results too!! 🙌🏻

@Francesmalin I have TSH tests anyway because I have hypothyroidism so I just gave them my most recent result. If you do have to get it done it's worth asking if your GP will do it rather than paying for it privately as it's a pretty standard blood test.

@unCliche I booked a week off as annual leave for what I thought would be the time between EC and including ET day. I worked out dates before the cycle started and thought EC would probably be on a weekend, and EC ended up being on the Wednesday. I was really glad to have a few days off to recover as I (maybe?) had very mild OHSS (or maybe my body just took a while to recover from the EC procedure). I took it as annual leave because I didn't want to have to explain or ask for time off at short notice/worry about which day EC might fall and because I hadn't taken any leave for a few months anyway and wanted a break. I won't be taking any holiday for the FET cycle though, will just try to get scan appointment(s) to avoid meetings and will say I'm having some medical treatment if I need to explain any time away from my desk. But I'm WFH so it's easier than it would be if I was going to a workplace where it would be more noticeable if I was late etc. I realise I'm really lucky in that sense and WFH making IVF a bit easier has been the one upside to Covid!

@Hoping4baby21 they didn't say if it would cost extra (tbf I didn't ask) but I suspect it would. The Wimbledon clinic do blood tests at the clinic rather than sending you to another lab so maybe that's why they're more relaxed about offering it.