@cher1981 I am due my FET transfer on Wednesday and feel exactly the same, I have been researching natural cycles for the future (this has been a nightmare medicated cycle with medication side effects and issues with my clinics schedule), I was even looking at going abroad and changing clinics. As if I’d written the whole thing off and I haven’t even had the transfer as yet! The only thing my specialist says to me is to be positive, but it’s easier said than done, especially since we have all gone into IVF having had issues conceiving in some way. I’ve never ever seen a positive pregnancy test, so I think it’s natural to not expect to suddenly see one now. I wonder if in some ways I do this as a form of self preservation.
I was watching Headspace on Netflix, episode 4 and he describes living in a monastery and seeing ice creams come out, which he hadn’t had in ages, he got really excited and then saw someone behind carrying rice. By the time he ate the rice the icecream had all melted and he resented the whole situation until he realised he was never going to have thre ice cream anyway. It reminded me of my fresh cycle, when I started spotting from 8dp5dt the clinic told me it was a good sign, I’d had these weird cramps the day before and I was convinced it had implanted, 3 days later and it was a full blown period, wow how I fell, I was sobbing down the phone to the nurse saying I was so convinced it had worked and now had to deal with the fact that it hadn’t.
Unfortunately I always seem start off negative and then convince myself “this is the month” or “this time it’s worked”, to be honest I feel that being pessimistic and then getting a nice surprise is the best option!
I liked what @Sunbird24 said, that it doesn’t matter either way. I saw someone write in a thread how an embryo couldn’t give diddly squat about nice music or candle lights etc, if there is a receptive endometrium and a normal embryo then nothing else seems to make much of a difference.