Trying IVF again for baby #2

[FingersXssd83]

Took 4 years to have my first baby, including 4 rounds of IVF. She arrived last summer and hoping to get two rounds in this year. I'm breastfeeding atm so will be stopping that next month, trying naturally for a few months to appease DH (it'll never work), and cracking on with a round in before my birthday as I'll be turning 38 this year.

I found IVF a very tortuous slog the first time around. Kind of feels different now that we are a family and trying for a sibling. Have suffered with a bit of PND over be last few months so hoping IVF doesn't set me back but I feel super excited to get going tbh!

Going to contact Access Fertility soon to find out what packages they can offer us.

Be great to hear from ladies in a similar position! x

Hi @FingersXssd83 I will be doing FET for our second child in February.
It also took us 4 years (and 4 embryo transfers) to conceive our DD.
I had a FET in June, which resulted in misscarriage. So, I am really not looking forward to FET. I am so nervous!

You’re right, ivf is very hard going (so worth it if it works tbough). Good luck with finding the right package etc!

Aww we had four transfers too before we got lucky (7 embryos in total) so it sounds like we have had a similar-ish journey.

Very sorry to hear about your miscarriage, that sounds rough and must have been awful.

Best of luck for your upcoming transfer, can imagine it's nerve wracking for you.

Few free to let me know how you get on. Hopefully this will be the one 💕

Good luck both.

Have a DC already and have had 4 failed cycles trying to have number 2 .

Have just had a donor egg BFN before Xmas so now having tests with implantation part of my clinic before we transfer our remaining embryo.

Out of interest, were you ever given a reason for all the bfns?

@FingersXssd83 and @Beherenow32 I've name changed recently but I was CritterTamer and we were on threads together a couple of years ago if you remember me? I just wanted to wish you both all the luck in the world and hope you get the siblings you want for your LOs 😊
So sorry to hear you had a MC Beherenowx32, that must have been awful. How many embryos do you have left? FingersXssd83 are you doing a fresh round again or FET?
After I had my twins I also really wanted one more so we decided to use our frozen embryos. Felt like w were pushing our luck when the first one didn't stick and pretty much gave up hope as the remaining one wasn't top quality like the others. Decided to go for it anyway and amazingly I'm currently almost 14 weeks 🤞 can't believe we've been this lucky with IVF to be honest and expecting it all to go wrong at any moment but taking it one day at a time.
I wish you all the luck in the work with your next cycles ladies xxx

@SamoyedFan123 Hi. Yes I remember you :) congrats! That’s amazing news. We have one frozen embryo left. So, probably just try this once more. Not sure I’m up for another fresh cycle, but will see. So happy for you.

@greendress789
sorry to hear about the failed transfers. It’s so hard. One doctor said it could be egg quality 🙄 I don’t know tbh. Best of luck!

@FingersXssd83 thank you. I’ll pop on again when I get started with FET. X

Hey @SamoyedFan123 yeah I remember you! Huge congratulations to you and hope you are feeling ok with your pregnancy. So exciting!! It's lovely to hear a positive story. Not sure what we'll do. The transfer that worked was a FET but we don't usually get many embryos so have no idea whether they'll suggest doing fresh or frozen. Going to book an appointment soon and will see what they recommend. I would love twins if we were lucky enough to be successful. Your home is going to be so lovely filled with 3 gorgeous babies 😍

@greendress789 sorry to hear about your BFNs, it's a gruelling process isn't it? Did you have IVF for baby number one? When do you think you'll transfer your remaining embryo? They didn't give a reason for our failed transfers, just that sometimes the embryos aren't the best. I didn't believe this at the time and worried myself sick that that there was an issue with me. Thankfully it worked eventually.

I had ivf for baby number 1, I say baby but it was 7 years ago 😞

The transfer won't be for a few months yet, I referred myself to the implantation clinic for some tests which will take time.

Hey @FingersXssd83 we've spoken before about our implantation failures - great to see you on the other side! I've just had my little girl in November ♥️ it took 3 cycles and 5 transfers of 7 embryos to finally get her. I've no Frosties so a sibling will be from further cycles and although I'm so happy, I still want another. I guess I'm surprised I still feel like this and as we were wheeled out of the theatre after the c-section I was asking my husband for another!

I can't believe I'm actually seriously considering putting us all through IVF again. I've been looking at the natural modified and mild IVF, does anyone have any experience of this?

Hey @MrsC2018, big congrats on your baby girl. Pregnancy, birth and having a little one is such a beautiful privilege. It's not surprising we want to experience it again.

Looks like we had an identical path in terms of number of cycles and embryos... it emotionally floored me, but I'm determined to have another baby so will try to put the negativity to one side and stay positive.

Have been feeling a little flat about the unfairness of having to do treatments to have what is very natural for others, and increasingly anxious about doing it again. Massively sucks but I guess this is our path...

We have our consultation booked early March. Just a bit concerned that I'm 37 so the odds are getting less. DH wants to try naturally for a while but I'm very keen to crack on.

No experience of mild/modified IVF but wishing you good luck 🤞🏻

I'm 37 too, very similar pathway! What do you think worked in your final go that resulted in your daughter

Sorry didn't mean to press send then! Are you going to do anything differently this time I guess so that it takes less than the 4 cycles it took for your first? The cycle that worked for us was the final one where I had less stims and only 3 eggs collected and 2 embryos created which is why I'm leaning towards natural or modified this time. Which clinic are you using if you don't mind me asking?
I'm very keen to crack on too, but I think I need some time for the c-section to heal. I was devastated to need one again as I knew it would delay things for IVF again 🙈
Xx

@MrsC2018 We're using CARE and some changes included a 3 day frozen as opposed to 5 day fresh. I also had endo excision prior to transfer and aspirin was prescribed empirically.

I'm wondering whether our consultant will recommend doing exactly the same which will mean a longer process with a FET. I'd do whatever he recommends but will be a bit disappointed as it will make the cycles much longer and I feel like we're short on time! I'm currently breastfeeding too, so need to get switched over to formula ASAP.

I'm hoping if we can stop breastfeeding this month, then have 2 periods before EC, then we'll be on for a May/June cycle when bub will be 8-9 months (and just before my 38 birthday )

We didn't ever get many eggs (max 6 on 2nd cycle) but thankfully we had high fertilisation and a good % get to blast.

Who are I you with and do you have the one baby or more children? How long do you think you'll need to wait before you can go again?

It's good to chat with someone in the same position as us. I always wanted 4 but I very much doubt that will happen for us!

xx

I have an older son who's nearly 13 so it doesn't feel like I'm raising them as siblings which is maybe driving my desire for another?
But I also always wanted 4 too so maybe I'll never stop?!

This baby was from st Mary's as my husband doesn't have kids so at that time we were eligible for NHS IVF. The last cycle was so disastrous we'd already had a consultation with CARE with their implantation failure specialist to plan the next cycle so I could go back there, but we weren't eligible for any of the refund packages with access due to the failures - what are you going with? Think I might have a consult with create to see what they advise over the summer if nothing's happened. I talked this over with my husband last night who thinks we should just crack on as we're delaying the inevitable but baby's only 10 weeks old - we probably need to leave it a few months for clinics to take us seriously! How old will baby be when you have the consult? How wonderful would it be to just have babies when you want them and as many as you want to complete your family?! Xx

Aww I know, I've felt a little sad recently about having to go through all this for what comes very naturally for most people!

Baby will be 6 months when we have the consult. Weaning off the boob is proving to be a bit tricky but I hope by then (apt is 8 March), we'll have switched fully to formula.

It's great that your partner is fully on board. My husband wants to try naturally as apparently pregnancy and breastfeeding helps to calm endo but I don't see any point in wasting time (plus I also know that one of my tubes is knackered!).

I would highly recommend CARE. We cannot fault them.

We don't qualify for refund packages either so will purchase the multi 2 cycle package direct from the clinic as they now offer this.

Were you with St Mary's Manchester? What CCG are you under and do you mind me asking what is the reason for you having IVF? I didn't realise that couples could get funding if one doesn't have a baby...

Yeah, St Mary's manchester - when we were referred our CCG, middleton heywood and rochdale funded 3 cycles if one of the partners doesn't have children (that's now changed part way through our treatment to 1 cycle) so this baby ended up being NHS which we were incredibly lucky for. It means we can afford this mat leave for one thing as my husband lost his job the week I found out I was pregnant last year so we're using the money we had saved for the IVF with care. We were also going to get the 2 cycle package as not eligible for anything else. Are you local to manchester as well then?

We started off as male factor but as the cycles went on, my husbands count improved to within normal range but still we haven't got pregnant naturally and the IVF wasn't even working so I've always felt that there is something wrong with me that they never found (because they didn't look) as they could pin our failure on his count. I'll be interested to have all of the baseline tests again to see what's happened in the 3 years since they were last done if nothing else. The care consultant looked through all of my st Mary's notes and said I respond as if I have PCOS so she would treat me as if I do which I found interesting.
Do you have a reason for needing IVF? You mentioned endometriosis and your tubes?

Ahh you are very local to us! Really pleased you got the three cycles. We did too and asked to be referred to Care as an NHS patient. Like you, we are very grateful for that (and our gorgeous babe!).

I'm hoping staying with the same clinic means I don't have all the test again tbh as I don't want to know how my fertility has declined!!

We were originally unexplained but after 3 IVF fails, I had a lap (always suspected I had endo due to awful periods) and low and behold I had it. So frustrating as I'd been to the docs several times about bad periods and if we'd have known then would have tried for a family sooner :/

That's interesting that CARE thinks you have PCOS. What consultant did you see? We are with Dr Lowe.

Just ordered conception vitamins and the dreaded pre-seed from Boots. Can't imagine we'd ever get so lucky to get preggo before IVF but it's worth a go! God I hated two years of trying naturally, became depressing month after month but at least now we have a good shot with IVF coming up.

IVF sent me absolutely bonkers last time. I think we were very close to giving up. Hoping it won't be as much of a head fuck this time around although I reckon it probably will. Really don't want doing IVF to spoil the time we have with our little bub, especially while she's so tiny X

What do you mean by awful periods, I've always wondered too and thought it might perhaps be due to the old caesarean scar - I've not had any investigations so just done know. How did you get the lap?

We saw Dr Joy as we were coming to care with multiple failures and that's apparently her area of interest. I don't think I actually have pcos as I've no cysts and have no physical symptoms but she felt that they should treat me as if I do due to my response to ivf medication- I always triggered before day 10 as had enough follicles and very high oestrogen levels but then every time I had EC I didn't have that many (12,14 and 3)

IVF is really really hard, especially if you have multiple failures so even within the small group of people that need help we're part of a sub group that even this isn't straightforward for. I got to the point that I was tearful every time we walked down Oxford road to go there - I was offered counselling but didn't want to have to spend more time in that building! I actually can't believe I'm going to put us through this again, I was traumatised last time, I really hope I don't get like that again. Like you, I want to enjoy and be grateful for what I have because I went through so much for her ♥️

Xx

I have a blocked tube from endo which would have been picked up if St Mary's got me to do a HSG, but they didn't, and after our failed cycles we paid privately as I couldn't carry on transferring embryos and not knowing what the issue was. It was a relief finally knowing I have endo, and feel very lucky to have been successful as I know it can be very difficult to overcome sometimes and they don't even know why... although they reckon treating endo is no more effective than IVF.

I know what you mean about the tears. I would regularly sob on public transport going into work. It was horrible and for so long too. My mental health was in very bad shape. I took up the free counselling with CARE and it really helped me. It was with Yvonne at the clinic and I really liked her.

I'm hoping that when we go again I won't be such a mess as we have a baby now whereas before I was so worried about never having a family. If I go nuts again then it'll probably put my DH off so I'm
going to have to hold it together better for us as a family.

Gosh, it's so hard and complicated isn't it.

It's really good to chat with you @MrsC2018 as we're in a very particular circumstance and stage of life. Really hope things work out well for you xx

Ahh do you mind me asking where you had the lap and how much. I might think about that as I don't want to risk going through what we did last time if I do have an issue.

I've had to promise my husband I won't go mental this time, so like you I've really got to keep everything together otherwise he won't agree for another one

Same to you, it's good to know we're not alone and our pathways have been ridiculously similar!!

Xx

Can't remember the costs but we had the diagnostics and treatment combined at BMI Highfield in Rochdale.

Here's the consultant. She was very thorough and experienced, and could tell I had endo just from feeling my stomach!

www.bmihealthcare.co.uk/consultants/gaity-ahmad#gdpr-out

xx

The IVF specialists will tell you not to bother treating any endo, the endo specialists will tell you to do it, so it's very confusing as they don't agree!

Chatting on here is keeping me from nagging my DH about it tonight, so that's got to be a positive way to get through any future cycles!

I want to do 4 more cycles if we can make it work financially but god knows how much the meds will cost on top of the IVF! X

I'm also 37 and eager for a sibling for my 7-month-old. I have to stop breastfeeding though which sucks (and he is not going to be happy about it!) I'm planning to begin the process when he is 12 months.

I only need a FET (well, I'm hoping so as I have 9 in the freezer). I know that makes me lucky! Having heard so many stories of failed cycles, I just feel so lucky now that I never even think about those who are fortunate enough to get pregnant unaided. Can't even imagine what that's like.

Congratulations and good luck! Same to @MrsC2018, @BeHereNowx32 and @greendress789. You all deserve the family you continue to go through so much for

Wow @Yokey are they blastocysts? That's a crazy number! Would take me a couple of cycles to get that many blasts... Sounds like you have a very good chance of not having to do another EC.

I've upped the formula today to try and get my bub off the boob. Kind of feel sad that breastfeeding is coming to an end as I never thought we'd have a baby and I'd be able to do it, but needs must!

Enjoy the rest of your time feeding your little one, and good luck for the transfer when then time comes!

9 is amazing. Good luck @Yokey 🙏