Trying IVF again for baby #2

[FingersXssd83]

Took 4 years to have my first baby, including 4 rounds of IVF. She arrived last summer and hoping to get two rounds in this year. I'm breastfeeding atm so will be stopping that next month, trying naturally for a few months to appease DH (it'll never work), and cracking on with a round in before my birthday as I'll be turning 38 this year.

I found IVF a very tortuous slog the first time around. Kind of feels different now that we are a family and trying for a sibling. Have suffered with a bit of PND over be last few months so hoping IVF doesn't set me back but I feel super excited to get going tbh!

Going to contact Access Fertility soon to find out what packages they can offer us.

Be great to hear from ladies in a similar position! x

@Yokey wow, that's an amazing number of blasts, congratulations!
@FingersXssd83 how are you this week? Thanks for the info for the lap just got to make my mind up if this is something I'll look to get done before more IVF! With care, do you know if they do EC and transfers over a weekend if they fall that way? We were triggered too early on a previous cycle so that's important too me

Hello ladies, I’m in a similar position. I had a daughter from my first cycle of IVF so when we started trying for number 2, I was super hopeful. But 4 unsuccessful transfers later, I am really starting to doubt we will have another baby. I was going to have 3 transfers max, and I’ve already had 4 and am now wondering if I should go for another (I still have 6 blasts left but they are pretty poor quality) or go for another EC and have everything PGS tested... but on the other hand, I feel exhausted mentally and physically. IVF when you already have a child is not quite as heart wrenching as before you have one but it is still pretty bad. I also worry I am wasting precious time with my little one because all the doctor’s appointments and the days when I feel down are making me less available for her. It’s such a dilemma! Before I had my daughter I never even thought of having more than one child and now I desperately want a second one!

@FingersXssd83 yes, they're blasts. Thanks for the good wishes Thanks also @greendress789 and @MrsC2018

@Tarsette you're going through my fear! My first IVF worked so well, and with so many in the freezer it's difficult not to be complacent. But it could be that my failed transfers are yet to come. I'll still be forever grateful for my first, and as you say, it's not the same as trying when your childless and desperate, but I still want it to work so badly. And realistically, how many goes would I try? I can't imagine I'd transfer all 9 of my remaining (and the cost!) but who knows. I also don't want to feel I'm looking towards what I could have to the detriment of the wonderful child I've already been blessed with. You say your 6 blasts are poor quality, but surely they can't be bad if they froze them? Were the ones you already had transferred the same quality?

@Yokey the ones I have left all have C’s in them and some are pretty terrible (like a 2CB that look really wonky!), that’s why I’m considering a new EC. My daughter came from a double transfer of day 3 embryos (long story short, I had 52 frozen eggs initially and so unfroze a first batch which only produced 4 embryos, hence the day 3 transfer) so I don’t really know their quality... but I also have other issues (thin lining) so that could explain all the failed transfers, hope you won’t have to go through that

Ah okay. So good that your daughter came before the failed transfers (congratulations!) but you've a tough decision to make. Best wishes whether you decide to transfer or do EC again (or nothing at all). I'm sure you've nothing to feel guilty about with regards to being available to your little one. We just love them so much we want another!

Ugh! Had my first baby bomb today. Feels awful.

Friends are on their fourth baby. They have had their struggles too but it still hurts as I always wanted four babies.

Feels like time is running out as I'm 38 this year. I'm wholeheartedly grateful for my miracle baby girl but still... infertility is absolutely rubbish! Forgot how much emotional pain it causes...

Anyway, consult is early next month, weaning off breastfeeding is going in the right direction, so going to aim for a positive week.

Hope everyone has had a good weekend x

@FingersXssd83 so sorry you are having to deal with this. It drives me crazy as well, a friend of mine is pregnant with her 3rd and refuses to take to progesterone she was prescribed, saying stuff like “well if it wasn’t meant to happen, then never mind, we’ll just try again next month”, ugh!! I would give anything to have to take the bloody pessaries for 12 weeks!

I find it hard as well because if I say I’m finding it really hard this time round (I have had 5 blasts transferred unsuccessfullly after all!), other women suffering from infertility will think I’m being insensitive because I already have a child. Probably overthinking this a little though...

I’m going to see a new fertility specialist tomorrow to get a second opinion on what to do now (give up, new EC, use my remaining C blasts)...

That sounds frustrating @Tarsette People with no issues don't know how good they have it! Big lack of awareness amongst some although I can't ever imagine saying that even if we didn't have issue as you never know what others have been through...

Totally get your position. Just because we have our baby doesn't make infertility any less painful. After all, we've already been through so much trauma with unsuccessful cycles/transfers. I feel like I desperately want to carry another baby. I wonder how much of it is instinct taking over.

I was getting very anxious yesterday constantly thinking about IVF. Was feeding my baby in the middle of the night and started Googling stats. Ended up googling blastocyst success at my age, and I actually ended up feeling quite positive (fingers crossed we get some!).

Need to keep in my mind that as we only get 3/4 embryos and blasts per cycle that it could take us a year or two to get close to a BFP again.

Have you done any double transfers? X

I'm also trying for number 2 via IVF, and have had two failed back-to-back FETs this year.

I've now actually come down with tonsillitis today, which I think is probably my body's way of telling me I need some proper rest post all the emotion and disappointment...

I naively thought that trying again would be much easier and it would also work first time this time, seeing as I had the frozen blasts from the cycle that gave me my daughter. I'm actually really struggling with it though, particularly the awful, seething jealousy towards pregnant women, and it really doesn't feel easier at all.

Totally get that feeling of jealousy @FabricPigeon. It all feels very unfair.

Very sorry to hear about your BFNs. It's so hard. How many cycles and transfers did you do to have your DD? IVF is annoyingly unpredictable.

Do you have more frosties or will you have to do another egg collection?

I'm anxious about another collection as we've never had many eggs collected and I've had surgery since my last one so am worried my fertility may have taken a nosedive x

@FingersXssd83 we did one cycle with two transfers for DD - I had a MC after the first transfer.

No frosties left now so we'll do another fresh cycle as soon as possible - my clinic is pretty poor at admin (despite being private!) though so I suspect we'll have to wait an extra month longer just to get everything lined up and sorted with them so it'll probably be start of April before we get going.

I know what you mean about the fear it won't go as well next time - I had a C section and now I'm paranoid it might be causing the implantation issue

But I'm trying to stay positive and optimistic and we're lucky to be able to afford to do a couple more cycles - I just wish I knew what the outcome will be! I could deal with never having another baby if I knew that would be the case but the idea of trying and trying with no joy is awful

@FingersXssd83 did you have your apt today?

Hey @MrsC2018 yeah we did. They've recommended a freeze all as that's what worked last time. Bit gutted as it will take ages but they are the experts!

I was expecting them to say I'd have to wait for a few periods as they haven't started since I stopped BF but they said that isn't a problem, just need to go in and have my lining checked and they can give me some meds to kick it off in 2 weeks so we may be starting very soon.

All depends on our new tests. Bit nervous about my AMH as it was 18 3 years ago and I've had endo surgery since. Also, I've only got a handful of eggs before so I'm worried I may be in decline! Time will tell...

How are you? Have you made a decision about having a lap?

@Tarsette how did you get on with your second opinion about what to do?

@FingersXssd83 that's exciting I'm part jealous you're starting but part horrified that you've got to start!! Classic feelings about IVF really...

Don't think I'll do anything. I need to chill out and not go mental this time, and I really feel like being able to switch off and not think about it all the time has got to help. Nothing I did in terms of tests, add ons or supplements made any difference so it's a dodgy path im heading down if I start researching everything to the nth degree again and trying to find a reason.

What package are you going for? Do you have a cost for it all?

@MrsC2018 I'm exactly the same! I've spent a few hours tonight googling low AMH even though I don't know I have it yet. Bloody crackers!

My gut tells me that it's the embryo that determines whether it works or not. Forget the add ons, supplements etc. So, like you, I'm going to try my very best to stay as sane as possible for my baby and DH as it'll either work or it won't and me constantly looking for non existent answers isn't going to change anything. It is hard though as I really want it to work.

They've quoted £4.5k for the cycle and about £2k for the meds. We were NHS last time so it's a bit of a shock. We're hoping to go with a multi cycle package which is about £6.5k for the cycles excluding meds but that's all dependent upon my AMH being over 5...

Can't believe we're going to be going against soon and with such a young baby. Really don't want IVF to take over his precious first year 😬

Weren't you looking into mild/modified IVF. How did you get on with that?

I've googled mild/modified ivf and that's as far as I've got!

I might book a consult with care and see what they say and do the same with create. I've just had my second period so know mine are up and running again but think I need to leave the break a bit longer than you as I only had the caesarean at the end of November!

Are you having all of the pre testing again then? Are you keeping the same plan as worked for your last cycle then? Did they say why they think a freeze all works for you?

It's lovely being in the post baby bubble, I don't want to pop it for more ivf!! But I'm also now 37 and given it took 2 years of ivf I know I need to get a wriggle on if I want to be able to use my own eggs again

Yeah they've said to do the same protocol as the one that worked. Didn't give a reason why a freeze all would be best for me, just said we should try that again.

We have to have AMH, scan, semen analysis and screenings again. Hopefully we aren't in too bad shape. Should have al results back in a few weeks.

That's good that your cycles have started. I know what you mean about time being of the essence, it was 2018 when we first started IVF.... it's so hard isn't it.

Was nice speaking with our consultant today, he said he had our thank you card up in his office - such a different experience than previous cycles

Aww hopefully this time will be different for us both. We're in such a different place now, just got to be strong and make sure we don't head down that rabbit hole....

I looked back over some old threads (I rarely post so quite easy!) and we've been talking since your our first cycles! Mine was august 2018, and baby was born Nov 2020. With 3 egg collections and 5 transfers to get her, we've had a ridiculously similar journey 😂

Definitely! We know it can work and we have our precious babies now so hopefully we won't feel as desperate as last time.

Wow, can't believe we have been chatting since then. For me, it felt like everyone was getting their BFPs except me during those horrible times.

Hopefully we will get our next bub at a similar time too although I'm feeling very nervous about it all again today 😬❤️

Can I join?

38, endo, knackered tubes, one baby born 2020 following first round of ivf (amazingly!), stopped breastfeeding at 6 months to get period back (and felt sad about it...), trying naturally for a few months 'just in case', now about to start again with another round in Aprilish I think. Haven't had any of the tests re-done or anything yet.

Have a couple of frosties in freezer but both day 6s which I heard are less good. I think we are doing another cycle before trying to FET the ones we have as I don't want to look back and wonder what if we had started earlier. Had a c section with the first so gynae won't do a transfer until 12 months later, so August time. If we wait til then, then try both and neither work, it will be 9 months or so further on and I feel at my age it's too great a risk.

Oh and also I was totally bonkers last time too but feeling really calm this time. I just feel it is completely different to not having any children, much as I'd love another. Everything crossed for all of you!

Of course, and that's amazing that you got your BFP on your first go (and have some frosties!). I've been told they only freeze viable embryos so it sounds like you'd be in with a good shot with them but completely get why you'd want to move onto another EC.

I'd imagine we'll start in April too so could be cycling at the same time. What clinic are you with? Going to read through my old protocols to remind myself of what's coming down the track.

I felt the same about stopping BFing but the way I've rationalised it is that a sibling would be better for our bub than a few extra months EBF.

Best of luck to you too! 🍀

@whatcangowrong - just to let you know that day 6 success is possible :) I had 2 blasts in a 2018 cycle, transferred best one on day 5 but empty sac when we went for 6 week scan. The other day 5 looked better by day 6, was frozen and became my DD in 2019.

Hello, just jumping on this thread as I am in the same position. My IVF DD is almost 2 and we are thinking of trying for another perhaps July/Aug. We have frosties we'll be using. We've already decided we won't do another fresh cycle, it's FET or bust for us! But we are vv lucky to have 7 embryos in storage from the same round that produced DD. Wishing everyone good luck.

At CARE in London, think someone else said CARE but maybe not in London? They seem really good but no experience of anything else. I’m just v v aware it’s 2 whole years since our successful try which in any case seemed like a fluke. Trying not to expect too much.

7 Frosties!! And someone else said 9? Amazing! What a good position to be in. That’s why I feel we should just be bold and go for it. It just feels like the money (huge though it is) matters so much less.