August 2020 IVF - continued

[Lepatz]

Morning ladies!

We hit our 1000 limit on the original thread! That’s 1000 messages of support and advice, celebrating every happy milestone, and being there for uncertainty and bad news too. Thanks @Mseddy for setting up our little cohort :)

Will try to tag the regulars, apologies if I miss anyone. @Custardandcream @nextweek @kikisparks @StayingPositive8 @Bruce2 @CardboardCat @MrsT36 @loulamay @MsNoons17 Argh, my phone is refusing to autocomplete properly - I hope that works.

Wishing everyone heath and happiness - whatever stage of the journey you're on xx

@kikisparks I did ask about a blood test, but the nurse said they don't normally do that and it wouldn't necessarily clarify anything as I definitely was pregnant so would still have the hormone in my body (I was a bit flustered on the phone so can't remember exactly what she said) I definitely struggle to advocate for myself, I feel so overwhelmed in the moment that I just trust what they say. In my mind I already know it hasn't worked so fully prepared for that, its just annoying having to wait. When we meet with the consultant I'll definitely ask more about it and the reasoning for waiting longer.

@nextweek yeah I definitely get you on advocating for myself, it’s so hard! The blood test showed I was pregnant too but it told me it wasn’t a viable pregnancy- you generally need 2 of them 2 days apart to confirm, it was the EPU that did mine. You are a bit further along than me though so maybe that’s why they prefer to do a scan. I hope the wait goes as quickly as it can for you so you can get a definitive answer, it’s really tough being in limbo.

Thank you everyone, it’s taken a few days but I think I’m coming to terms with it now. I had the miscarriage yesterday which has helped a bit weirdly, although I have to take a pregnancy test in a few weeks to check there is nothing left, wanting to see a negative test will be a bit odd! But I know I’m so so lucky to already have an ivf baby.

I’ve just got so many questions running around my head: were we just unlucky with this embryo or were we very lucky last time? I’m very worried about how I will respond to another round, I was told I had low amh levels in 2016 when I had my first two rounds. I’m not sure how my levels will have changed since then as my periods only came back last September. I also don’t know when I’ll be able to start a new round, I know I’ll need to have a period before they will let me start but as I will probably need long protocol will they let me start down regging with the first or second period? I don’t expect anyone to be able to answer these really (hopefully will get a follow up with a dr soon to discuss the ones they can answer) but it feels better to write it down!

@nextweek it’s so hard to advocate for yourself, really hope the consultant can give you some answers

@Custardandcream Glad you're starting to feel a bit better. Hopefully you were just unlucky this time and can start again soon.

I started bleeding and having cramps yesterday, which have gotten worse overnight. I'm not really sure what to do now, do I call the epu today or wait and call the fertility climic tomorrow? Right now it just feels like a normal period, but not sure what to expect over the next day or so, will it just get worse until there's nothing left? Will I have to go into the epu?

@nextweek I’m sorry to hear that, I would call the epu if there is no one at your clinic today. Mine started like a normal period then I had a period of really bad cramps for about two hours (but no worse than really bad period pain) passed a few clots then the pain and bleeding settled down

@nextweek forgot to add the epu may want to see you if you call them which I know might be upsetting but if it was me I’d like to speak to a medical person to check everything is normal

Thanks @Custardandcream I just called the ecu. They've said to keep taking the progesterone until my scan in a weeks time in case its still a viable pregnancy and they won't be able to say for certain until then. I'm actually feeling really annoyed as it seems obvious to me that it hasn't worked, they couldn't see anything on the scan at 7+6 and now the heavy cramps and bleeding! Sorry, I'm just ranting now but feel so frustrated!

@nextweek I'm so sorry you're going through this, it's such a rough time. I'm not sure what the EPU is - is it like A&E? After my last chemical they let me bleed but also took a blood test after a few days to check that my HCG had gone down to below 5 (I think?) or a low number. In fact I may have had 2, it sounds the same as @kikisparks

I think if it doesn't drop down low enough then there's a possibility that you have retained some of the miscarriage, and you may have to have a d&c. I'm sorry to sound so clinical, but hopefully if you see someone today they might be able to put your mind at rest. I'm still cross at your clinic on your behalf for telling you to wait two weeks!

@Custardandcream although I obviously wish things had turned out differently for you, I'm glad you're feeling ok. I'm afraid I don't know the answers to your questions but I think as long as you've had a complete miscarriage and one cycle you should be able to start again straight away?

I meant to write on Friday, but I had my follow-up appointment with my Dr. It turns out that the embryo was abnormal and didn't have the right chromosome count, and so it wouldn't have been viable whatever we had done. I'm glad that it wasn't a case of my body rejecting a healthy embryo, because I think I would have felt that loss more than in this scenario. I have asked for the costs involved with doing PGS testing on our other embryos, but I'm worried that it's going to be too high for us to afford right now. We'll see. Either way we have still decided to take a couple of months' break. I had an internal scan and he said my lining was looking good and healing but another couple of cycles wouldn't be a bad idea if that's what we wanted. Once we decide what to do next, I will do the endometrial scratch the month before the next FET but our protocol will be the same as before.

Hope everyone else is doing ok xxxx

How is everyone doing?

Those who had follow up appointments with epu or clinics...was everything ok? Did you get the answers & next steps you needed?

Sending lots of love out there

I'm now 11+1 but this week started to feel very disheartened. Pregnancy symptoms completely faded. Just disappeared overnight. And just have a "feeling" something isn't quite right. Can't put my finger on it but I'm reading a lot about missed miscarriages and symptoms and I can't help wonder if I'm in this category. I'm sure you ladies know that frantic google search you do on phone about every link you can find
12 week scan not until 16th October so unless I start bleeding before that I guess I need to wait it out and see.
Can't bring DH to scan so I'm dreading hearing bad news on my own.
Infertility just sucks. Nothings ever enjoyed and when it is, it's pretty short lived.
Some part of me is glad no one knows that we've been through IVF so we're not bombarded with questions but another part wants to tell everyone I meet so they understand why I'm on edge every time they see me.

Sorry for rant. Having a down day!!

Rant whenever you need to. So sorry you were having a bad day! Could it just be that you're almost into your second trimester and symptoms fade? I've read that. I appreciate how hard it is though, especially with that 'feeling'. Sometimes intuition takes over. Are you feeling the same today? x

Hi
Yes feeling quite flat today, I understand there's nothing I can do except wait & see. So I suppose I need to get over myself!
Thanks for sending a message though, nice to be able to rant and no one judge me for it thank you
I'll let you know how it all progresses xx

@Bruce2 I'm so sorry you're feeling like that, its so hard when you start to fear the worst and the temptation to Google and seek out answers is so understandable. I'll be keeping crossed for you that you get only good news at your scan.

@Bruce2 sorry you are feeling that way, you’re right infertility steals the joy from being pregnant. I agree with loulamay a lot of the symptoms do disappear in the second trimester (when I was pregnant with my daughter I remember they did suddenly lift). But I know what it’s like to fear the worst, would it be worth seeing if you can get a private scan and if your DH could come to that?

@nextweek hope you’re doing ok

@Bruce2 where are you based? Have you looked to see if you have an EPU somewhere within reach as some of those departments will see you without an appointment for a reassurance scan x

@StayingPositive8 @Custardandcream @nextweek
Thank you for messages.
I didn't know EPU did reassurance scans, I might look into it, I thought only private scan clinics offered them and the thought of paying another £80 on top of IVF costs just stung a little bit!!
Hubby thinks very practically, he's like "if there's something genetically wrong with baby and it hasn't made it there's absolutely nothing we can do about it so let's just see on 16th"
I know he's right, if there's an issue there's an issue. Heartbreaking as it is there is nothing worrying about will change.

Thanks again ladies for messaging back, it's nice to know you understand what I mean. My hubby just doesn't get it.
xxx

@Bruce2 So Sorry you’re not feeling great.
8 days probably doesn’t sound like long to most but to us going through IVF it feels a lifetime! It’s so mentally draining that you have to do whatever ever makes your head feel even a little bit better. As brilliant as our OHs can be I think theres maybe parts of this process they might not quite get.
If you do decide to go to the EPU I hope you get good news. X

Sorry to hear about your anxiety @Bruce2 it’s a common thing :( I’m not sure if it will help you or make you more worried but the BFN podcast did an episode about anxiety in pregnancy after infertility called “Bonus Episode- the Pregnancy After Infertility Episode” it’s just 3 women talking about it and how they are dealing with it.

Hope everyone is doing ok. There’s some more free (or a donation) fertility yoga if anyone is interested, I missed the first one yesterday but it’s on the next 3 Thursdays, I quite enjoyed it last time: fertilitynetworkuk.org/events/fertility-yoga-in-october/?fbclid=IwAR1aog7m4xErOscwiPBAXZNF-hSX0TpNkGdEQ8LSpD_eiHLtkcsi5zKgPdU

I’ve been phoning my clinic every week to see if they have any cancellations so I can have my appointment sooner but nothing yet and they don’t have a cancellation list. I’ve also written to my GP to get a copy of my medical records, I had some blood tests recently for another health matter which included thyroid, vit D, a few others, GP said the results were normal but I know that for fertility sometimes normal isn’t good enough and you want to be in the optimum range so I want to look through the results and see if it flags up anything that I should discuss with the clinic.

@kikisparks thanks for the link to that yoga, I was planning to get back into yoga to help me through to our next round so I might as well do a class that's aimed at fertility!
Hope you manage to get an appointment soon and more info about your test results.

My bleeding/cramps got worse throughout Sunday & Monday. I passed some clots and I'm pretty sure I passed the sac (sorry tmi!) but the worst of it seems to be over. I've still got some light bleeding and have kept taking the progesterone pessaries like the midwife said when I called the epu. I've got my scan on Tuesday where I'm assuming they'll confirm it's a miscarriage and hopefully things will get back to 'normal' after that. I'm really hoping we can try again before the end of the year, but trying not to get my hopes up.

@nextweek I’m sorry, hope you are doing ok. I managed to get a cancellation and will have a zoom follow up meeting with a Dr this week so will hopefully get a better idea of timescales then.

@nextweek what an experience to have to go through, I'm sorry this has happened to you. I hope you're doing ok
And that you have strength for tomorrow's scan. Sending much love

@kikisparks thank you for link to podcast I'll take a look into it

@MsNoons17 thanks for your message

@nextweek I’ll be thinking about you tomorrow

@Bruce2 I’m glad this is still going as well and I have everything crossed for you

Thinking of you too ladies!

I haven't posted because I'm in limbo! Trying to get a breakdown of costs out of my clinic for the defrosting of eggs and PGS testing on the embryos, but being sent round the houses because they outsource the PGS testing. Getting slightly irritated now, and also a bit concerned, because I know it's going to be a lot of money (just don't know how much!) and I'm not sure we can afford it right now with doing the house renovations, so I don't know what our next steps will be.

I'm 12dpo today and stupidly took a pregnancy test thinking "maybe we'll get lucky and it will happen naturally" and of course it's come back negative. Feel a bit silly to have even tested and then a bit sad that we won't ever be in that group of just trying to have sex on the right days of the month, and magically getting a positive test at home 2 weeks later.

C'est la vie! How is everyone else doing who might be prepping for a FET? xxxx