August 2020 IVF - continued

[Lepatz]

Morning ladies!

We hit our 1000 limit on the original thread! That’s 1000 messages of support and advice, celebrating every happy milestone, and being there for uncertainty and bad news too. Thanks @Mseddy for setting up our little cohort :)

Will try to tag the regulars, apologies if I miss anyone. @Custardandcream @nextweek @kikisparks @StayingPositive8 @Bruce2 @CardboardCat @MrsT36 @loulamay @MsNoons17 Argh, my phone is refusing to autocomplete properly - I hope that works.

Wishing everyone heath and happiness - whatever stage of the journey you're on xx

@Pinkstars2501 I’m sorry for your bfn ivf is so expensive and I totally understand not wanting to sink everything financially and emotionally into it without knowing the outcome it’s so hard. Give yourself time to process and think it all through.

@loulamay Good luck for tomorrow I really hope everything goes ok for you, that bruise looks nasty hope you’re ok!

@MrsT36 Congratulations! I hope the lines keep going stronger

@Lepatz I know in my area the nhs cycle covers all frozen embryos as well, fingers crossed it’s the same for you

@kikisparks Sorry you were disappointed with your clinic visit, you do seem to be getting a lot of conflicting information if you do make a complaint it might be worth mentioning that as well

@Mseddy glad you are feeling a bit better today, that’s good news about your frosties

@Lepatz @Mseddy @Pinkstars2501
So so sorry to hear your news. I really feel for each and everyone of you. I don't think anyone gets how you feel when ivf has failed.
We do but a lot dont. The money, the desire, the time off work, the sneaking about to appointments, the injections. The list goes on. You all deserve to be annoyed at the world and I take my hat off to you when you manage through the next month or 2.
I've her where you are and I can totally empathise
Sending lots of love.

@loulamay I hope tomorrow goes well

To anyone I've missed sorry, I hope you're all ok and holding up best you can. X

Morning. I didn't get a chance to come on here yesterday and now the thread is playing up and wont let me go back to previous pages so I can't see everyone's updates, but hope everyone is doing ok whatever stage you're at.

I did another FRER yesterday morning before I called the clinic and I got a second line and I think it looked a little bit darker than the lines I got on Sunday. The clinic have booked me in for a scan in a few weeks time, they don't do any beta blood testing at my clinic. So now I just have to hope for the best and try not to drive myself mad with symptom spotting...which I'm failing miserably at already!

Thank you everyone for your thoughts yesterday x

I still haven't heard from the clinic - other than an email to say someone will call. I think the bleed is about to start. I feel totally yucky. Though still better than yesterday - less ranty!! I just wish I knew what my options next are - then I can make peace with it either way.

@loulamay - good luck with the scan today!

@StayingPositive8 Yes, i'm so grateful to get two fresh rounds over 40... Fingers crossed I can use them both for fresh!

@kikisparks sorry to hear you didn't get what you wanted from the appointment - though hopefully good news that you can restart a cycle earlier xx

@Mseddy Glad to hear you were feeling a bit better yesterday, hope today brings more peace.

@nextweek Great news that the line is a bit darker - I hope you continue to see progression on the frers before the scan. It must feel like so far away. The 2WW doesn't end after 2 weeks it seems!!

Little update from me - had our scan which showed the gestational sac and yolk sac in the right place but no heartbeat yet. If my dates are right (hard to get it wrong with ivf!) then I should be 6+3 today but my Dr said I looked more like 5+6 so a few days behind. So we are still in limbo! Have to go back on Friday for another scan to see if it's progressing.

Trying to be positive that 1) it's not ectopic 2) it's super early to see anything and 3) this is the furthest we've ever got so that's a milestone in itself. Have obviously been frantically googling since I got home but have found so many mixed reports/stories that I just don't know what to think. I do know that frozen embryos can implant a bit later so that could account for it, so now it's just MORE waiting to see how we are looking on Friday.

Thanks for all the well wishes! x

I'm a bit stunned - I just heard from the clinic that I don't get to speak to anyone until October 2!!! That doesn't seem right at all :(( Just want to cry. It doesn't seem right that I need to wait so long. Is this because it's NHS?

@loulamay - It's great that your little emby is developing, even if maybe a little bit laggy. Does 6+3 mean weeks + days? More waiting. This fricking process.

Btw, my previous comment re NHS sounded a bit off - I'm so grateful, truly, for what they've done for me. I just can't imagine being made to wait so long to speak to a doctor if I was paying for it.

Hi @Lepatz After my BFN on the 19th August was originally a 2 week wait just to speak with consultant (on phone)
There was a cancellation so then managed to speak to him a couple of days after BFN.
Then my original zoom call with the nurse was supposed to be 26th September and baseline scan in October! There was a cancellation and I was lucky to get both moved to this week.

This cycle is private.
My NHS one moved along much quicker.
Long winded sorry 😅 but
Point is it’s worth asking if there is a cancellation list you can go on.

@Lepatz hey, our clinic (mixed private and NHS, ours was NHS)offered us counselling this morning but I turned it down so I'm not sure how long the wait would be. That seems like such a long way off! I'd be wondering if it's because they're slower due to covid, or if they want to give you a bit of time to collect your thoughts.

Our first fail in Feb, the clinic told us to take some time and there was no rush, to call when we were ready to go again.

@Lepatz - that seems like an age away! I don't understand, if you wanted to go again next cycle they should surely want to see you on day 1 once your bleed is over but that will be way before October. It might be time to stamp your feet.

Yes, 6 weeks 3 days. I used the 'What to expect' calculator because it has an IVF option and that's what it worked it out as, and my Dr had the same dates. Having done a bit of reading I think the two most likely outcomes are that it was a late implanter and so might be lagging and will catch up or it stopped growing at 5+5 and it was a silent miscarriage. Bit nervous if that's the case that I will have to have a d and c, but nothing I can do about that today. Am currently sitting in the sun, drinking non-alcoholic sparkling wine FFS.

This fricking process indeed.

@loulamay fingers crossed it's not a silent miscarriage just a little late implanter. Try not google too much...easier said than done I know!

Thanks @MsNoons17. I emailed them to ask re waiting list, and the nurse phoned me! I cried down the phone at her. She said they can't do an earlier doctor appointment, but has booked me in to see the nurse right after that, so I should be able to get in for FET on my next cycle. Which has helped me feel a bit better... but not helped re funding! I am fairly resigned that this FET will be my last funded attempt though. Wow, i'm finding this bit the hardest yet.

@Pinkstars2501 yep, my clinic is mixed private and NHS too. My biological clock is banging out of my ovaries haha, it's my eggs that need collecting more than my thoughts!

@loulamay Everything crossed its the lag option for you. Four days doesn't sound like sooo much, sending emby boosting thoughts your way x. Enjoy the faux-wine. Up until right now, I'd had no real urge to drink (which is weird, as I found it difficult to stop before the treatment haha!) But now the idea of a large glass of red in the bath is rather appealing!!

Have that large glass of red @Lepatz! id probably have the bottle if I were you! I’m having a large white at the mo if it makes you feel better.

@Lepatz I would definitely go for the wine in the bath! Out of interest do you know which is your CCG (commissioning group) for your area? I was able to find the protocol for my area online to see if the FET was included in the fresh cycle

@Lepatz lol sorry I should laugh, it's not funny. If you're wanting to crack on then it can't hurt to chase them incase (for whatever reason), slots become available sooner.

I think it's nuts, not mention unfair, that the funding varies so greatly. How can it be that one area funds one cycle including one transfer, and another offers 3 cycles until all your embryos or blasts are used up each time?!

My area is one full cycle, so use up all your Frosties too. If I lived an hour up the road, I'd get three. I understand the NHS isn't a bottomless money pit, but for me who was failed by the NHS (my cries for help were ignored for 16 years and now my Endo is stage 3 and my insides are stuck together, so I'm fucked), now I don't get the same amount of cycles as others because of geography.

Sorry to rant, it just sucks.

It’s absolutely crazy @Pinkstars2501 I don’t know where everyone is from here but I’m south London & you only get the 1 NHS funded in my borough and believe it is the same for most of the areas down here. Should really be a blanket rule across the country surely. Not to say it isn’t brilliant for anyone getting 3 Cycles. That’s amazing!

@nextweek glad to hear you think the test was darker yesterday

@loulamay I’m sorry it wasn’t better news for you, I have everything crossed for you for Friday

@Lepatz I would possibly give the clinic a call again to ask about the funding it’s something an admin person might be able to answer

I’m feeling a bit flat, some days I have really bad nausea and I let myself hope and others like today I feel fine, so I just don’t know what to think!

Thanks all! Feeling like my symptoms have really tailed off so pretty sure I have miscarried. Will continue meds until Friday but I can just tell in my heart that it's over. So this will be miscarriage #4. Has anyone else had more than two? Not sure what to do next but want to be prepared with my questions for Friday - @kikisparks I think I am also going to ask about a hysterosocopy but also potentially some blood tests - have been reading about the MTHFR gene mutation and NK cells as a possible cause. I can't believe that this can just be bad luck. I want answers! Are you going to be able to talk to your Dr at any point about testing?

Hope everyone is doing ok. I told my parents about the scan and they are so supportive and wonderful that it's almost a double disappointment having to tell them - I stupidly feel like I'm letting them down with my inability to produce grandchildren.

Sorry. Not a hugely positive post! Have been awake since 5am

@loulamay

Thanks all! Feeling like my symptoms have really tailed off so pretty sure I have miscarried. Will continue meds until Friday but I can just tell in my heart that it's over. So this will be miscarriage #4. Has anyone else had more than two? Not sure what to do next but want to be prepared with my questions for Friday - *@kikisparks* I think I am also going to ask about a hysterosocopy but also potentially some blood tests - have been reading about the MTHFR gene mutation and NK cells as a possible cause. I can't believe that this can just be bad luck. I want answers! Are you going to be able to talk to your Dr at any point about testing?

Hope everyone is doing ok. I told my parents about the scan and they are so supportive and wonderful that it's almost a double disappointment having to tell them - I stupidly feel like I'm letting them down with my inability to produce grandchildren.

Sorry. Not a hugely positive post! Have been awake since 5am

Aw you're not letting anyone down at all. Your mum & dad will be just wanting to make sure you're ok.

I hope you're wrong I really do, I hope it's just late stage implantation and the symptoms are just having a day off.
Only you know how you feel though and I'm not saying your feelings aren't valid, I'm just really hoping you're wrong xxxxx
Sending lots of love n hugs

I don't think anyone doing IVF ever has an enjoyable ride.

I've only ever had 1 miscarriage so can't really comment on multiples sorry but usually the NHS have a cut off don't they. Like 4 recurring then they investigate - could have been in Scotland mind you, not sure what it is elsewhere xxx

Really sending you positive vibes xxx

@loulamay I’m so sorry you feel like that. There’s always still hope but I know when your intuition kicks in it’s impossible to ignore it. Sending lots of love, I know how hard this wait is xxx

Can I ask for some honest opinions, What do you think of these lines? I’ve attached a photo of my tests. OTD isn’t until Saturday so it’s still early, but I think this looks the tests from my last chemical. I think they should be darker by now so trying to prepare myself for another loss. Any words of hope appreciated

@nextweek glad you’ve had a second darker line! I hate how some clinics don’t do betas, it’s just that extra bit of reassurance.

@loulamay so sorry you didn’t hear a heartbeat and things are so uncertain for you, I really hope you get a good outcome at the next scan I heard the NHS will do investigations after 3 miscarriages but I’m in Scotland- I would definitely think they’d do them after 4 if the worst does happen. I get you in wanting answers! A hysteroscopy seems a sensible thing to do imo, it doesn’t sound pleasant but it doesn’t involve being cut open at all so it’s not that invasive and could give you answers.

@Lepatz sorry you have to wait so long. We don’t get to speak to a doctor at all. I just have to pass any questions to the nurse and she’ll ask the doctor and then phone me back at some point. It makes it hard to really get my point across.

@Pinkstars2501 you’re so right re the funding, it’s awful. In Scotland I think they fully implement the NICE guidelines so everyone under I think 40 gets 3 full cycles of IVF with one cycle being egg collection, fresh transfer and all frozen transfers following from that collection, if they can do it here why not everywhere else?

@Custardandcream good luck, when is OTD?

@MrsT36 the lines are definitely getting darker so that can only be a good sign! Fingers crossed you get a good outcome on Saturday.

I do wonder if there's a way to appeal it tbh...

@MrsT36 - there's definitely line progression. I don't think you're out yet! The only way to know is to do another test either tomorrow or the day after. Mine only started getting much darker from about 12dp5dt and I've read lots about frozen embryos taking longer to implant.