Keith's BPG II

[KittyKatSmile]

@AliciaWhiskers @CornishMaid1 @Ginandtonic31 @Cauliflower82 @Welshpugmomma @Mrbay @Zest11 @RRoonilWazlib @Weenumpty

Hope this works xx

@Ginandtonic31 huge congratulations and what a little cutie Georgie is. Well done you. I hope you are doing ok. We are all here if you want to offload or need a hand to hold. Feel free to PM me if you like. xxx

@Zest11 it's from Blossom and berry and only £10. She had a little white wool outfit too to match.

Thanks everyone. I'm just struggling with the ending to the birth, stitches and my pelvic floor is shot. I can't imagine it working again! I'm scared I will wee myself forever.

@Welshpugmomma I don't think baby is breast feeding enough but I'm happy with formula if we need to. Did hospital help you?

@Ginandtonic31 congratulations 🥳 beautiful baby.

So does that mean our first round of babies are all here?

If it does and I think it does, @ginandtonic31 I can relate - emergency forceps, episiotomy and physically prepped for emergency c section. Although I seem to have been largely unaffected by the birth, my husband was incredibly upset by the whole thing. If it helps, I didn’t think I’d start feeling physically better the day after for like forever but one week on and I’m seeing huge improvements physically. Hopefully you will be the same.

@Cauliflower82 it sounds very similar to the ending of my birth. But I'm really affected by it. And currently sat up in the night balling my eyes out thinking we've made the biggest mistake ever. My biggest fear is my pelvic floor will never get better and my bladder will be shot. I had a strong pelvic floor before and now I can't even stop a wee mid flow. I'm hobbling about because of the stitches and my ankles are so fat they're killing me. I'm holding out hope that on a few days I will feel better too. I'm on day 4 and I suppose I expect miracles. But some days I just want to go back to being me and my husband.

@Ginandtonic31 I promise you that you’re going to get past this and it’s completely normal to have these feelings - you’re going to have good days and bad days but the first few weeks will likely be the toughest. Honestly, I lost 2lb after birth and a few days after it was still 2lb - all of the weight went to my feet, legs, arms, neck, it was just weird, so much water retention. I cried and cried because I ballooned afterwards and it didn’t help my mother saying i still looked pregnant. Did they by any chance give you any blood thinners? I think this might be why my swelling has finally started going down and I’m losing all the water weight, thank goodness as it was incredibly uncomfortable and painful. I cried a fair few times. As for the pelvic floor exercises, I keep getting told that for a few weeks I won’t be able to do them but to try - I haven’t been persistent enough though but I can feel it’s healing. Have you spoke me to your midwife or healthcare visitor person? I spoke to my midwife yesterday surrounding all the anxiety I’m having not sleeping and constantly checking on Noah - she was so reassuring and helpful. Please don’t give yourself a hard time. Allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling and ask for help when needed. Maybe a good sleep could help initially? Your husband could look after baby. I’m not saying it’ll stop how you’re feeling but often when sleep deprived we can feel a bit on the edge or I can anyway. I hope you’re okay and I’m sending you lots of love - remember we’re all in this together xx

@Ginandtonic31 oh and I had NO control over either passage and now it’s starting to feel A LOT better. Seriously no control which was very distressing but now I do have a little. Not perfect by any means but heading in the right direction.

@Ginandtonic31, as @Cauliflower82 says, this is all completely normal.

My delivery was not dissimilar but ventouse instead of forceps.

On day 4 I was still buzzing the midwife to ask if I'd killed my baby. Had a new reason every day.

Can you please Pm me your address if you're happy to? I've made something for Georgie and I've got something else that I'll pop in that you might find useful (no, it's not my second hand pelvic floor exerciser).

Lastly - a lot of people grieve for their old life back. It's monumental how much this changes your life: never mind popping out for a coffee, going for a wee requires hours of planning! Stick with it, we're all here for you x

@Ginandtonic31 what you are feeling is all completely normal. My first was an episiotomy, ventouse and we were minutes away from an emergency section. I had no control over weeing for about 2 weeks, everything was so sore and swollen. I would just sit on the loo regularly and wait for something to happen. I felt I couldn't tense my pelvic floor muscles at all to try and stop the flow. It DID get better, and it will get better for you too, it just takes time. With all of the physical trauma of birth and the massive hormone crashes, the lack of sleep and the massive change to the life you were used to, the first few weeks are a massive shock to the system. But little by little, things will settle down. We are all here.

Thanks guys. I really appreciate all your kind words as it's so helpful. Sometimes you feel like the only one so it's really nice to hear similar stories and reassurance. My anxiety is literally sky high right now. I go from one thing to the next - my bladder, my stitches, feeding, is she breathing, daren't sleep, what if she gets coronavirus. All sounds silly but it's all got the better of me. It's nice having you guys to speak to.

@Cauliflower82 It sounds similar. I've lost a stone so far but my legs and face are huge. Yeah I've got thinners too. And a million other tablets I don't remember! it is really painful isn't it. I feel like I can't walk and stretching! Apparently night sweats help it go down. Im so pleased you've said control is coming back. I'm sort of feeling now when I need a wee but sometimes a bit too late. I haven't had a poo yet 😫

@KittyKatSmile I keep asking my husband if I've killed her, if she's ill, what if I've hurt her. So sorry I didn't reply to your PM! I meant to then unexpectedly went into labour and forgot!

@AliciaWhiskers I was so happy to read your post. Its exactly how I feel. My birth went so well until the end when I was also taken for a section but forceps tried first. It's so reassuring as I thought I was the only one with leaking wee and no pelvic floor sensation. But it's reassuring to read about others in similar situations that have come through it. The scar tissue and Dec in future freaks me out as well.

Last night I had a shower and put clean pjs on and actually felt so much better. My stitches even felt better and I was walking better. I'm up with Georgie feeding and felt the need for a wee so went. It wasn't perfect but actually felt like a proper wee and not just liquid coming from anywhere! That made me feel more positive.

I'm trying to breast feed but Georgie sleeps all day and has to be woken to eat and stripped off but then feeds most of the night. I don't think I'm making enough milk for her.

Are people carrying on as normal with the whole coronavirus thing? Or keeping baby inside? I've suddenly started feeling glum about it and worried parents might bring it in etc? I know there's no advice to isolate so are you allowing visitors who aren't showing symptoms and just wash hands etc. Not sure why it became such a worry yesterday. I don't normally worry about stuff like that but worry about her now!

@Ginandtonic31 I'm glad my post helped, it sounds as though we both had similar experiences. Feeding all night is again, completely normal. Babies are actually wired to feed more at night, I think milk contains some particular sort of hormone that is produced more at night and that's why they feed more then. You will be producing enough milk, remember it's a cycle that the more they suck, the more you produce, so just keep putting her to the breast whenever you think she might be hungry. Do you wake her for feeds during the day? My first had jaundice and was so sleepy all the time, I had to wake him for feeds every 3-4 hours if he didn't wake up himself. It was a struggle trying to get him awake enough to feed! Poor love used to be stripped off, have his feet tickled, his ears gently pinched etc! We got there in the end!

Re sex after stitches, things have been fine for me . I had an episiotomy with my first and tore with my second so had two lots of stitches and it's all fine.

Hope everyone is doing ok.

ET on Thursday for me. Similar coronavirus fears here, what if the cycle gets cancelled, what if I get it whilst I'm pregnant (wishful thinking lol!) etc.

Thanks so much @AliciaWhiskers you're really helping me. I'm waking her every 3 hours in the day. Same with stripping down, changing using cold water to wipe etc. I keep worrying she's ill but what else can she do?!

And thank you too re sex! I'm keeping my fingers crossed everything will be fine.

Good luck for Thursday! Thank you for still being so helpful.

I've become so obsessed worrying about it and whether people should visit etc.

Is she still having wet nappies? I'm assuming she is probably too little to have been weighed again since birth? If she is still having wet nappies and her fontanelle is ok then she will be doing fine. You are doing great, mama. I'm happy for you to PM me, I'm also happy for you to have my number if you would like it? Just ping me a message if you would like xx

@Ginandtonic31 you are doing brilliantly. This is all completely normal. I have stopped worrying so much that I've killed her although I do check she's breathing if she hasn't snuffled for a while and I'm going to do a baby first aid course to sort of put my mind at rest.

Nancy was the same re feeding at night for the first week but it's really settling down now. Nowhere near a routine but we're taking every day as it comes. I got caught up in the 'feed them every 2-3 hours' thing and obsessed over it but I've chilled out now and feed her when she wants to be fed, sometimes waking her when I feel she's been sleeping too long. Already at two weeks she is awake and not wanting to be fed for longer stretches so you can then look out for her hungry tells.

Re coronavirus and visitors, we are having people over. Ask them to wash their hands when they come in, to stay away if they feel unwell and then we spray all door handles when people leave. Babies aren't in the at risk category actually so although we don't want them to get sick, they would be ok if it were to happen (youngest fatality in the uk is 59).

@AliciaWhiskers so exciting for ET. Maybe you could self isolate or not go to work (what is it that you do?) during the tww? I don't think pregnant women are much at risk either so although it would be worrying, you would both be ok I think.

Sending much love.

@KittyKatSmile I'm an NHS worker so no chance of not going to work! I reckon I've got a fairly high chance of picking it up at some point between having direct patient contact and 2 kids at school, but just have to keep on keeping on.

@AliciaWhiskers yes, sorry, I remember now. That's unfortunate...

@Ginandtonic31 how are you and Georgie doing today? Hope it's a good day xx

@Ginandtonic31 it's sooo cute. I am definitely going to buy one for when my baby comes...soooo cute. I hope you are doing a bit better now and slowly starting to adapt. At present there is little info on the virus in newborns but it seems to be okay for them. I think it's just the elderly and those with pre existing conditions it's an issue for.

@AliciaWhiskers I hope you are still on for transfer on Friday...the best of luck to you!! I spoke to my mw this week about coronavirus in pregnancy. As yet the evidence is that it's not bad for pregnant women but the govt have taken these new precautions as the virus is new and there isn't enough research. Also, she said that pregnant women have a reduced immune system so they're being overly cautious.

Apologies for being quiet, I was getting quite anxious about being at work with kids all day, thinking I was going to catch coronavirus off one of them! I am much better now I have been WFH since the advice changed this week and my mw was very reassuring about things. It's soooo sooo boring 'social distancing' though! I remember when we were all thinking of things to do in the tww, I think I will have to dig out those suggestions! I hope everyone is doing okay, I would love to hear everyone's updates

I hope everyone is doing well ☺️. There’s not much going on for me and Noah at the minute - we’re ‘social distancing’ but it feels like we’re self isolating 😂. I’ve been holding him all morning 💕 he’s such a sweetheart and I think I’m starting to get a bit more confident. I don’t think I’m a natural like some parents but I’m getting there day by day ☺️.

@Cauliflower82 that's so lovely to hear. I am pretty much in isolation too. Not sure how different it would be in a non virus world tbh so at least the pressure is off to get out into the world!!

I've had a fraught couple of days as Nancy wasn't putting on weight so I'm on breastfeeding boot camp. Have to feed her some expressed milk after each feed and then express ready for the next feed. And feed every 3 hours. It's fairly exhausting. So good that I don't need to leave the house!

@AliciaWhiskers fingers crossed for tomorrow x

Hi all, will reply properly later but just to say we decided to postpone the FET. It was due to be today but the British fertility society changed their guidance overnight to advise against ivf at this time, and also being an nhs worker I can’t just self isolate for 12 weeks if I become pregnant. My team need me and I felt I couldn’t fuck them over by choosing to go ahead with a procedure that would mean I would be off work for 3 months. It felt the wrong thing to do. And also too much of a risk - nobody knows if getting Coronavirus in the early stages of pregnancy would be harmful to developing foetuses because nobody has gone through that yet. What if we went ahead and found that there was a very high risk of something that we might have been able to avoid?

@Cauliflower82 that is so lovely to hear, I'm glad you are enjoying this precious time. Has your husband gone back to work now or is he being encouraged to WFH?

@KittyKatSmile I think all new mums are in isolation for a while. The bf sounds very hard work and stressful. Do you feel you uterus shrinking as you do it though? Im trying to think of the positives for you! What are things like in Guernsey? Are you able to buy supplies? There is utter panic here. My husband nipped to the shop to get some veg this evening. An hour and 4 shops later, he was back!

@aliciawhiskers that is so honourable of you. I have so much respect for nhs staff. I also think you're wise re the uncertainty of 1st trimester. The only research is based on the 3rd and at that it's quite limited. I feel anxious but I'm pregnant now and with each passing week I don't get the virus I feel reassured that baby is that bit bigger, stronger and more resilient! I am also being ridiculously careful about going outside...in fact, I barely have this past week!

@Zest11 yes I haven't weighed myself but I'd say I was back to my pre-pregnancy size after 2 weeks. When the midwife last visited she said I needed to eat more fat (as otherwise I might just be producing skimmed milk, ha ha) which I've taken to mean cake...! It's hard to say how the situation is over here although supplies are pretty plentiful, with the exception of toilet paper of course (thank goodness for cheeky wipes!) There is only one confirmed case and our government are being really good about the whole thing, but they aren't testing everyone so we don't entirely know the position. It's so scary in general.

@AliciaWhiskers I feel for you but as @Zest11 says, what a hugely generous stance to take. My heart breaks for people having their treatment cancelled. I'm on another thread for people with high natural killer cells or immune issues and the drugs we/they take put you at risk because they suppress your immune system.

Sending strength and love ladies x

@AliciaWhiskers that’s an incredibly admirable thing that you’re doing and I imagine it’s been a really difficult decision to make. Let’s all just pray that we all come through this soon.

@Zest11 my husband is still on paternity and booked in two weeks holiday too so I still have him for a bit. Unfortunately he works in industry and he’ll have to go back to work. It’s worrying us massively - I don’t want him at risk. I imagine nearer the time my anxiety for him is going to go through the roof. He’s healthy and young but I want him safe at home. We’re lucky that we’ve been saving for a long time in case we needed to do ivf privately so I feel financially we’ll be okay. I bet you’re glad to be at home now so you can protect yourself and baby. Are you getting into nesting mode?

@KittyKatSmile I’m definitely not back to pre pregnancy weight but I’ve lost half the pregnancy weight which I’m really happy with. I’m way off wearing my old style clothes though but I’m hoping by the summer. I hope you’re doing well and Nancy is too.

I feel like we’re living in some kind of weird dystopian society at the moment - I can’t actually believe this is happening. It’s starting to get to me a little more. I hope we can get through this in 12 weeks.

Keep safe everyone xx

@Cauliflower82 I know what you mean. Life has more than a touch of the Handmaid's Tale to it. Are you breastfeeding? My cousin in Birmingham says there's no formula or nappies in the supermarket. God. It's just terrible.

It's a horrible day here, which is a shame after a week of sunshine and blue skies. I think this will really affect my mood. We try to go on one outing a day but today's will have to be cancelled due to inclement weather. I may have to do a yoga video, if I get 15mns between feeding and expressing.

Stay safe and keep smiling x

hey girls!!!

WOW , congratulations on the birth of your little cuties @Zest11, @Cauliflower82 and @Welshpugmomma.

Sorry, I've not been on here much, can't say that I've got any reason really.

hope everyone is coping well.

@AliciaWhiskers - sorry to hear that your FET has had to be postponed, but thank you for making such an selfless decision, I cannot imagine it was an easy thing to do.
Perhaps we will be cycle buddies when everything gets going again.

Oh, I've managed to shift a stone!! just half a stone/a stone to go, I need to see how I look as its not the weight I worry about it is my shape/size.

Much love to you all!!

@KittyKatSmile - are you managing to get any more knitting done now? ;)

@Mrbay indeed I am! I've started wearing Nancy in a sling round the house so I can get on with essential things round the house. Like knitting :-) I have to say that it keeps me sane in these odd times. Amazing work on the weight loss. I am now going the other way. Just about to eat a cream cake. I'm saying it's for milk production at the milk bank :-)