Keith's BPG II

[KittyKatSmile]

@AliciaWhiskers @CornishMaid1 @Ginandtonic31 @Cauliflower82 @Welshpugmomma @Mrbay @Zest11 @RRoonilWazlib @Weenumpty

Hope this works xx

@Ginandtonic31 - ah I see, I suppose the hormones are getting your hips all nice and ready!

At the moment, I'm not thinking about the drugs as I don't want to remind myself of the mental changes. Currently, I'm not a nice person, totally green eyed monster about material things and not appreciative of what I have. Hoping the drugs doesn't increase these thoughts.

@KittyKatSmile - thank you!! There is one scene that sticks in my head but it's not very PC. I used to love watching The Fast Show with my dad, we share the same sense of humour.

@Mrbay wow, that is definitely a bargain!! Get you and your money saving. Thank you for your reassurances. Yes my clinic said that this year their frozens are doing better than fresh so I should take that on board. Will you be doing the same protocol? Lovely crinone gel again?!

I think deep down I know we would be incredibly unlucky for things to never ever work out (but obviously very possible) especially as I have mentally decided we will pay for another round at one of the big London clinics at some point. Will obviously use the frozen ones first.
To be honest, I'm trying not to think about it all (running away perhaps). Been doing lots of fitness classes and giving myself a new focus in that way. Honestly think the anxiety drove me insane.

Hey @zest11 - I love a bargain! Now to find the bath at the same discount.

protocol is slightly different, will be long so my period will be a few weeks late I expect (joy!) but slightly different drugs to prepare the lining, thankfully no stimms so I won't be as bonkers.

Would it be worth visiting www.fertilityshow.co.uk/london? Would get to meet lots of clinics all in one place. I wonder if that would put your mind at ease a little more. I was recommended this, but as I currently have funding, I'm not going to visit it.

I did feel the same, but having the next transfer planned has really helped my down thoughts. I cannot imagine how I would feel if this was our last funded try, I can imagine that it adds to the pressure.

Just remember, you are unique and Google does not recognise that, please don't beat yourself up about it. Yes, if it doesn't work out, it will be upsetting but there will be a positive to why it didn't work. That may sound upsetting but those who don't manage to have their own biological child, do manage to adopt/foster/focus their neutering abilities elsewhere. Big hugs

@mrbay I will commend you if you are able to find a bath for £3.72!!

I guess the frozen transfer will be easier as also, there won't be the worry of how many follicles, then eggs, then fertilisation, then embroys, then blasts etc etc!! Do you start the drugs on day 21?

To be honest I think I'm over the bit about being the last funded as we have a few frozen and it's about £1500 including meds for a FET which, relatively, is fine! Also, I know that even if we did have to pay from scratch, as we got a good number of blasts first time, it would hopefully mean the same again and it wouldn't essentially be a waste of all that money just for 1 egg. (Hopefully!)

Thank you for that link, I've never heard of it but it may be worth going, especially as it's in half term! And thank you for your warm words. Xxx

I have to admit I found a frozen transfer so much harder then stimms. I found stimms easy but my god the drugs for treansfer nearly finished me off

@zest11 - I will do a little dance if I manage to get it that cheaply!
That's how I feel, the waiting game is smaller, you only have waiting to see if they defrost and waiting to see if they manage to develop.

You'll spend more than £1,500 having a little one, so £1.5k doesn't seem that bad. You did have a super amount, but next time may be your time :)

The show does look good, I've been told its not a tacky sells fest (friends of a friend recommended it to me as they got their twins by a clinic they met at the show, after many failed attempts).

@Ginandtonic31 - do you think it may have been because you had a little build up/tolerance built up? I'm so glad that you don't have to go through it again, unless you would like more children.

@Mrbay I think some of it was my own head but I also think Buserelin made me just rather kill myself! I felt dreadful.

@Mrbay I've deferred the FET by a cycle, so will be starting with my September period. Having massive wobbles here. I'm scared it won't work, and as DP says no more fresh cycles, this is it. I'm struggling with that, and I said I couldn't go ahead with it this cycle feeling like this. Also, with what you have said about the stats from your clinic, I'm wondering if we are with the wrong clinic. Their success rate from frozen cycles is 20%, which sounds super low. We are in Bristol, so it's not like we couldn't go to Bath (our frosty is in Cardiff, so in fact Bath is closer than that), but I feel like it's too late now because this FET will be it.

Feeling a bit crap about everything at the moment. I'm sure I'll snap out of it at some point, just laying low at the moment trying to sort my head out.

@Ginandtonic31 - Oh god, I remember how I felt now on it, I think it effected us both quite badly. My poor horse, if he didn't have a protection gang, I fear I would have sent him to kennels!

@aliciawhiskers - on Bath's website it posts similar figures but the nurse gave me their current figures to date for under 35/38 (I can't remember).
It's never to late to move but I doubt you'll get a different results as I am sure all clinics pretty much operate in the same way but with little tweaks.
I caught sight of a convo my DH and mate had about the IVF, I felt so bad that I had not considered that he might be effected by the process. I do wonder if its equally as hard for men as they have no control and IVF isn't really focused on them, as a woman, we are the star of the show (so to speak).
I'm not sure what to say as its such a difficult process.

@AliciaWhiskers I'm so sorry to read your post, sending you massive hugs. It's so awful feeling low especially if this is your last go. I think you have done the right thing about delaying if you are feeling like this. I am utterly terrible at giving (and listening to) advice but hopefully these scenarios will help you get in a better mindset regarding your worries:

1. Your cycle works and all the pressure you are putting on yourself now becomes a distant memory.
2. Your cycle doesn't work and over the following months, you do come to terms with the fact that that's it. You have a lovely partner, a nice new house and 2 gorgeous children.
3. Your cycle doesn't work and over the following months, you/your partner/both of you just can't come to terms with it. You and your partner have an open, frank and honest conversation. You both consider going again with a different protocol (you know can get more follicles and eggs) and / or different clinic.
4. Some freak scenario happens here which nobody can predict.

I really hope this cycle works for you both, you're so lovely and it would be so cruel if it doesn't. But, you can't predict your or your partner's feelings if it doesn't work and you've had a good few months to digest it, then think about how you feel then. Don't put the pressure on yourself now.

Xxx

@Mrbay @AliciaWhiskers yes same here with the success rates re frozen transfers. At my clinic they seem to be improving each year and what's on their website is not as good as the up to date stats!

Kkkkeeeeeiiiitttthhhhh!!!!! Hello ladies 😀 Will it be ok to join back in on this thread???

Sorry kind of dropped off a cliff after the chemical/mc and fell into a black hole for a bit! But.....after a holiday and my body weight in gin and sangria I’m back at it and about to start the next round on Wednesday 👍

How are you all doing??? Well I hope!!

Not had a proper read through yet but I will do to try and get up to speed 😀

@BellaD85 I'm so happy you've found us! Welcome back darling girl. And welcome back to the Back Passage Girls (which my phone auto corrects to capitalise, ha ha!)

Hello @BellaD85!!!

Well I don't know if I need to leave the group... as I'm officially no longer a back passage girl!!

@Ginandtonic31 me neither! Maybe we can find a recreational drug habit that takes it up there?

@KittyKatSmile you're in that on your own. I'm done 😂

@BellaD85 yay, welcome back girl! Glad you are feeling better and getting back on it! Your holiday sounds amazing!

@KittyKatSmile Dr Keith...I have a question...Because of my thyroid worries, I got an online prescription for levothyroxine (probably should have gone to the gp, I know!) And already I think it's doing something. (No sleeping in the day, no complete exhaustion, wahoo!). Thing is...it's taking a while to get to sleep at night too! Not sure if that's because I have got myself in a rubbish sleep pattern with being off work or because of the drug. Is that likely to be a permanent side effect or just as my body adjusts? Thanks Dr Keith!! P.s. do you take 25mcg a day??

Hello dear @Zest11
Thank you for consulting Dr Keith. Unfortunately I don't really know the answer to that one (first part). I didn't really have that experience but I was on so many drugs it would be quite difficult to ascribe any side effect to anything. (Although being fat and hairy is going firmly to the steroids!)

On the second one, I'm on 50mg, and 75mg as a little Saturday and Sunday treat.....

I am on the last 5 days of weaning off the steroids and in the throes of the most disgusting migraine ever....

@KittyKatSmile Thank you Dr Keith. Hooray for you coming off the steroids...they do sound terribly unpleasant! That's horrid about the weight gain and hair!! Not to mention the migraine - you poor thing. No worries about not knowing the side effects, I thought I'd ask the fountain of all knowledge Will see how I get on.

Please rest up and bury yourself under the duvet! I hope it goes away soon.

@Ginandtonic31 and @KittyKatSmile WWWWOOOHHHOOOO :-) So happy for you both!!! Maybe you could find some nice Chinese herbal medicine to help with your baby fung shwe (have no idea how to spell it ha!) "Hello my name is G&T/KKS and i'm a bum addict".

You know I once knew someone that did a stint in A&E for their Dr training and they said that one of the most common things to treat was items up the bum!! One guy had a toy car up his bum and said that he slipped and fell on it hahahahaha!!

@Zest11 Hey Girl!! Hope you're ok lovely...I can see that you are having trouble with your Thyroid - sorry to hear that. Not being able to sleep sucks!!!!

You need to get some lavender in your life x

@Zest11 what time of day do you take your thyroxine? I always take mine in the morning, and no issues with falling asleep at night. It might just take a few weeks to settle down. Good to hear that you are already feeling better on it though!

@KittyKatSmile - I'm sure as being Keith you already know this, the drug lord that you are, but just checking you know to increase your thyroxine in pregnancy? Hope your migraine has buggered off by now.

@BellaD85 welcome back! And whoop to starting a new cycle! How are you feeling about it?

Thanks for your kind words upthread. I've booked to see the counsellor attached to the clinic (we get one free session), which is next week, so I'm hoping having a good chat/sob will help a bit. We are due to start next cycle, which should start mid September. I'm trying to be super good in the meantime; went for a run this morning (yay!), but my watch recorded it as the slowest 5k I've ever run! Can't believe I am so unfit!! Gah! Anyway, onwards and upwards eh?

@AliciaWhiskers well done on getting out there today. It was faster than staying in bed so that's the main thing.

I've only ever been taking thyroxine in pregnancy or through IVF and they are monitoring my levels so hopefully I'm on the right dose. Although I do need to go and get another blood test shortly.

@KittyKatSmile that's very true! Are you still doing your half marathon in October? Glad the clinic are on the ball with the thyroxine. I need to have my levels checked too before I start the next round. Do you have your free T3 measured? My GP will only ever do TSH, which I find very irritating!

@aliciawhiskers I'm glad you've booked in, I hope it goes well. It should help to overload how you are feeling. Ahh that's great that you went for a run. Doesn't matter that it was slow, you've got over the psychological barrier now! Re the thyroxine I do take it in the morning. I think the sleep issue was just getting used to it. A worse side effect has emerged...gas....like really really rancid . How often do you and @KittyKatSmile have to get your levels checked? I am wondering how I approach my GP to tell him I actually prescribed it myself because everywhere I have read suggest under 2.5 is optimal.