MFI support thread

[TheBeesKnee]

Firstly apologies if this already exists. I had a look and couldn't find anything.

I've name changed as I feel like I have maybe been found out under my usual username, or maybe it's the paranoia settling in!

I'm late 20s, TTC 1 year.

I have been driving myself insane: stopped drinking alcohol, started eating dairy and fish was a hardened vegan for 10 years, stopped drinking caffeine, tried Brazil nuts, fertility smoothies and pineapple cores.

Nothing worked because it turns out that DP is effectively infertile, possibly due to a historical varicocele. We thought that may have been a factor but GP waved us away with "not necessarily - and anyway, you haven't been trying that long!" So we got a private sperm analysis and the results were Not Good.

However, DP got a (relatively) speedy referral to a urologist and after a few back and forths has had surgery on the affected vein. He's recovering, but we won't see "results" for at least 3 months as obviously sperm take 70 days to produce, although the testosterone production is supposed to be fixed/affected almost immediately.

Even then, research shows that only 30-50% of men with successful surgeries went on to conceive in the 12 months following the op, so my hours are not high. I mostly just feel that I will never be pregnant or have a baby, I'm convinced that next we'll find out that something is horribly wrong with me.

DP is being great. He says that we can look at donor sperm if this doesn't work, he wouldn't deny me the opportunity to be a mother. This just makes me cry, I have been very weepy the last few months.

Anyway, I thought it would be good to speak to others also affected by MFI as I feel very lonely and isolated as no one in real life knows that we are TTC, never mind that we're having issues.

Congratulations @positivelypetunia I am keeping all my fingers crossed for you for a positive outcome

morons is a good name for them, I like it! 😂

I had my appointment today with the consultant, unfortunately the most recent SA showed a drop in count, down to 4million per ml, but morphology has stayed at 1% (from less than 1% previously) and motility is 25% motile, up from only 15%in our first SA.
The consultant was really positive, he said (obviously) we only need the same amount of sperm as there are eggs produced so we have loads to choose from. My vitamin d is very low so I need to get some spray to put on my tongue but otherwise AMH and follicle count all normal for my age!
Appointment on 16th jan to teach injections and then start on short protocol my next cycle!
It’s all becoming a bit real!

@Steenac72 as you’ve been through a cycle do you have any coping mechanisms? Any tips and tricks re injections?
Are you going through the whole process again or doing FET in March?

Hi Embri, I found this book really good and I’d recommend reading it. I like that is has no success or failure stories just practical information and advice. www.amazon.co.uk/How-Cope-IVF-Essential-Survival-ebook/dp/B00VX7PUJ0/ref=nodl_?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

I also recommend taking a good supplement alongside vitamin d - I think when it’s male factor they forget about how we also need to do our best and taking good supplements is an easy thing to do.

Re injections I have to say it was more psychological for me- I built it up in my head and was afraid to do them when they weren’t that sore - not as sore as a blood test. So next time I’m going to get my DH to do them so I eliminate the anxiety and build up and it’s only a minute of pain. I had a piece of dark chocolate and cup of decaf tea ready to have after each one as a wee treat.

One of the best things we did was both take responsibility. When I had to do a sniffer for down regulation in work we both had alarms set and DH would txt me to make sure I’d taken it. That helped me feel less alone and also meant I didn’t miss a dose and had confirmation to him I’d done it (you know how you doubt yourself when you’re stressed!) Even though I was doing injections he was there for every one with me. So on that point - when you’re picking an injection time pick one that you will both be back for and that isn’t too late or too early that you might be stuck in work or traffic (we picked 8.45pm). We were always home in plenty of time. I would hate to have missed a train or got stuck in work and be stressed out about getting it done.

@ProbablyPertunia congratulations! This is brilliant news. We are in the same position as you and would love a successful outcome post op. Thanks for sharing 😊

Thank you everyone, it's means so much!
I have everything crossed that it happens for you all too, whether that's naturally or assisted!
Still can't really believe I'm actually pregnant!

Thanks @Steenac72 I’m taking multiple supplements following a lot of research! Pregnancare, vit c, co enzyme q10 and omega 3! The consultant was happy with all of these and said to continue until we start treatment then he will look at what to remove/ modify!

I’ve watched the education video the clinic have sent about subcutaneous injections.. the thing that is freaking me out is how far in the needle goes. (I work in an intensive care unit, so this really shouldn’t freak me out!!! 🙈) but I do think I need to be able to do it to myself as my husband might not always be around when I need to do them and then I would be stuck, maybe I do it myself the first few times then we take it in turns! I like the reward game, might have to buy some nice chocolate to be the reward! 😊

Hello everyone is it ok if I join? We have MFI and due to start first ever round of ICSI next month. DP has single figure sperm found in all samples which are now frozen. We've had multiple tests and they can't find a reason for DPs infertility. I seem to be in good health myself. Currently in the process of quitting smoking to give ourselves the best chance of success (I do realise this should have been addressed sooner but I've also had to lose 3st to be eligible for our 1 round on nhs and couldn't physically do it all at once) 😭 lol Looking forward to reading everyone's stories

Merry Christmas everyone!

I hope you're all having a wonderful day.

I am in my peak fertility period apparently but DP refuses to have sex and is having a beer instead. I am trying to let it go in the spirit of Christmas but actually I'm really angry and had a little cry. Another bloody month written off.

Hello all

My OH has a low count of 5-7m. The cause seems to be hormonal but Clomid didn't work. I wonder if his IBS has anything to do with it, he's had it for 18 years and refused to see a Dr about it or change his diet until about a month ago. I'm hoping now that he's taking that more seriously it might help, but not holding my breath. Has anyone else known IBS type problems to impact male fertility?

I am about 10 days into down regging , excited and nervous to hopefully start stims next week! Its taken pretty much a year to get to this point since my husband's first SA so I'm more than ready. 35 in April so I definitely feel like the clock is ticking!

Hey guys, sorry I went MIA for a bit, I felt I was focussing non stop on being on here and trying to search things or on Facebook and getting so down. Took a break to try take the pressure off a bit.

I have an update though, we got our letter through for appointment to go to the fertility clinic now. Basically my partner had his SA, found count and motility good but morphology is 1% and I had day 21 bloods which was 29.7 (around there) and I was told that was fine (I have been doubting it though) . The GP told me she was referring us to Aberdeen fertility clinic based on my partners results. This was back in around middle of October. Last week I got the letter in so took around two months and our appointment is 21st Jan.
The letter also included a bunch of forms and documents we both had to fill in/sign. So based from this I'm a bit confused. Have they put us in straight for IVF or is this normal procedure for being referred to a fertility clinic? I know I need to just wait and see what happens at the appointment and take it from there but I'm just so confused

Went to see SIL and new baby today. Very very very bad idea, and day. Drank far too much at dinner, got too many comments of "it suits you" and "your turn!!!" when I held the baby. I know people don't mean it maliciously but it cut deep. I went to the toilet and sobbed then someone knocked on the door because they thought I was being sick.

On the way home DP didn't want to get a taxi even though I offered to pay for it and I really hated him in that moment.

Sorry to hear that @TheBeesKnee, It’s so hard to be around babies and pregnancy, must have been especially tough to listen to people saying “suits you”. I found when we first got married (and at that point weren’t TTC!!) loads of people would say that, 4 years down the line and 2 years TTC people have stopped saying it. We have also recently told most people that we are going to have to have ivf. I have struggled with it being such a taboo topic and not having anyone to talk to, and since I have been open my cousin has told me her son was born through IVF and she is supporting me, there are people at work who have been through fertility treatment so are happy to talk to me. I found it helps people knowing. I am saying “we are on the waiting list, still having tests” so that they aren’t all waiting for the pregnancy test result!

I’m getting frustrated though, as whilst DH is taking all the supplements I have asked him to, I don’t feel he is fully committed, whilst he doesn’t drink in the house, and does rarely go out on “a big one” over the past couple of months he has been drinking loads on nights out, New Year’s Eve he had so much whiskey and coke. I just wish it has been my issue with fertility then I could be in full control and I don’t have to be annoyed at him!!
He even said to me the other day “why do i have to take more tablets than you?” (He is on one more than me.....) 🙄
I just said “well your sperm aren’t quite up to scratch, and would you rather be doing all the medications and injections that I’m going to be doing in a few weeks?!?!?!”
He doesn’t get it. I don’t think he has ever really fully accepted it is an issue with his sperm, and fully taken responsibility for making things as good as possible. His attitude is “we only need as many sperm as you produce eggs on the day”
My attitude is “ get the sperm as good quality as possible to reduce the risk of miscarriage or low fertilisation rate”

Grrrrr rant over!

@willithappen what forms were you sent? Was it consent about what you want to do with eggs. Embryos and sperm in the event of mental incapacity or death?
Or forms about who can have your information, can they contact your GP?

@Embri my dh has exactly the same mentality! Except he doesn’t really moan about his vitamins and he fully acknowledges his sperm are the reason we need the ivf.
It is frustrating and my husband too drank alcohol Christmas and new year 🙄 we are starting in a week and I know don’t think we have done enough to get his sperm upto scratch. My dh also thinks we only need one sperm for each egg so should sort the problem. The only credit I can give him is that he has cut down an awful lot with drinking and enjoying and relaxing yourselves once in a while won’t hurt I don’t think x

@Embri ones with our information (stickers from hospital already on them), welfare of child, consent to disclosure, consent to treatment and storage for both of us, chaperone consent etc

It seems a lot. Maybe I'm just overwhelmed because I'm still unsure what our position is. I should just relax and wait until the appointment but I have also heard bad reviews about Aberdeen fertility clinic and them being quite harsh which is also giving me anxiety about it. Appointment is in just over two weeks

@willithappen they sound like the initial clinic consent forms.
We were asked to come 30 mins prior to our initial appointment at the fertility clinic to fill these out.
At that appointment we saw a nurse who asked about medical history, our relationship history, any previous pregnancies, and went through the tests we had already had done. I then needed to book in to: baseline scan, have more day 1-5 bloods done, DH needed to do another SA. These were done within the next couple of weeks and then one month after the initial appointment we saw the consultant, who went through the results and said yes definitely ICSI, short protocol, need to up my vitamin d.
We have had the full blown IVF consent forms from HFEA sent online to fill out and now are waiting for our nurse consultation (16th jan) to teach us injections and then we will start on the next cycle.

I wouldn’t read too much in to bad reviews if they are people’s options, I’m at Leeds and I had read bad reviews, people saying they were treated like factory items, no personal touch, and I was nervous about going. I have to say as soon as I stepped in to the clinic I felt at ease, everyone has been so helpful and friendly. They have answered any question I have asked without exception!

@Idontlikeithere1 🙄 men!!! We are starting hopefully next cycle so I don’t think he has done enough to get in top condition. If this cycle doesn’t work then I will really try to encourage him!
Good luck with your cycle!

How has everyone’s cycle gone? I have just had egg collection Thursday gone and stressing over our 5 embryos making it to day 5 on Tuesday

Hi, just found this thread. How’s everyone doing?

.

@mabel9
Hello! We are doing well over here, currently sat on the sofa, 30 weeks pregnant feeling the little one jab me in the ribs with its feet!
We were so lucky and our first cycle worked. They only got 9 mature eggs, and only 3 fertilised which was so stressful. They managed to transfer one and freeze one. We were so lucky that it happened before everything got shut down too!
How are you? Where are you up to?

Hello @Embri, sorry for pushing my way into this thread 😂
Congratulations, that’s amazing!! Not long now!
We’re also struggling with Male Infertility - severe Oligospermia where they only found 1x sperm in each of my husbands SA!
We have now gone on to discover that he has undescended testes and a Micro Tese is unlikely to ever work so we have made the tough decision (but completely right decision) to use donor sperm with iui.
Nearly 2 years trying now.
What was your husbands diagnosis?

This thread is very old now but I thought I would update for anyone who may be researching MFI and looking for some relatable stories. My little man is now 9 months old so our massively surprising pregnancy 2 months after varicocele surgery stuck around! We're now starting trying for number 2, unsure how this journey will go as my husband didn't ever get another SA done after his operation so we don't know if my son was a miracle or if it completely worked and he's all fixed now! Guess we will find out soon enough!

@PossiblyPertunia

Congratulations!! I'm so happy for you and actually your update is very timely in terms of what is happening in my life.

So DP's varicocele embolization failed. We are fast approaching the 3 year mark since we started TTC. Still no baby. Covid and lockdown set us back about 1 year.

He has recently seen a urologist who has recommended ligation surgery. Then if that fails we will be referred to IVF.

I have so many conflicted feelings about this, but your update has given me hope

Side note, SIL has managed to have yet another baby in the past year. At this rate if we have a baby he or she will have a football team worth of cousins!

@Embri congratulations to you too how are you getting on?

@mabel9 sorry to hear about your DH diagnosis. How did you get on with the donor sperm?

@Littlebb2020 how did your day fives get on?

Sorry for tagging everyone after so much time has elapsed by the way, I just really wasn't feeling strong enough to keep up with threads in the thick of Covid. I thought civilization was going to collapse

[quote TheBeesKnee]@PossiblyPertunia

Congratulations!! I'm so happy for you and actually your update is very timely in terms of what is happening in my life.

So DP's varicocele embolization failed. We are fast approaching the 3 year mark since we started TTC. Still no baby. Covid and lockdown set us back about 1 year.

He has recently seen a urologist who has recommended ligation surgery. Then if that fails we will be referred to IVF.

I have so many conflicted feelings about this, but your update has given me hope

Side note, SIL has managed to have yet another baby in the past year. At this rate if we have a baby he or she will have a football team worth of cousins![/quote]
I'm so sorry the embolisation didn't work but I've got everything crossed for you that the ligation is more successful! Do you have a timeline for when they will do the op? I know some places they don't even try the embolisation they go straight for the ligation as it has a higher success rate!
Has your DP had anymore SA done?

@PossiblyPertunia

Yes he had to have two SA done before his appointment. First was 1m, the second 2m. He has stopped drinking coffee and I think this has helped.

No timeline, but I'm hoping this year... I MIGHT have a baby in 2023 at this rate. I'm not convinced that I'll get pregnant without intervention.