MFI support thread

[TheBeesKnee]

Firstly apologies if this already exists. I had a look and couldn't find anything.

I've name changed as I feel like I have maybe been found out under my usual username, or maybe it's the paranoia settling in!

I'm late 20s, TTC 1 year.

I have been driving myself insane: stopped drinking alcohol, started eating dairy and fish was a hardened vegan for 10 years, stopped drinking caffeine, tried Brazil nuts, fertility smoothies and pineapple cores.

Nothing worked because it turns out that DP is effectively infertile, possibly due to a historical varicocele. We thought that may have been a factor but GP waved us away with "not necessarily - and anyway, you haven't been trying that long!" So we got a private sperm analysis and the results were Not Good.

However, DP got a (relatively) speedy referral to a urologist and after a few back and forths has had surgery on the affected vein. He's recovering, but we won't see "results" for at least 3 months as obviously sperm take 70 days to produce, although the testosterone production is supposed to be fixed/affected almost immediately.

Even then, research shows that only 30-50% of men with successful surgeries went on to conceive in the 12 months following the op, so my hours are not high. I mostly just feel that I will never be pregnant or have a baby, I'm convinced that next we'll find out that something is horribly wrong with me.

DP is being great. He says that we can look at donor sperm if this doesn't work, he wouldn't deny me the opportunity to be a mother. This just makes me cry, I have been very weepy the last few months.

Anyway, I thought it would be good to speak to others also affected by MFI as I feel very lonely and isolated as no one in real life knows that we are TTC, never mind that we're having issues.

@TheBeesKnee my husband also have a varicocele and has his first appointment with the urologist tomorrow to find out if they will offer him the surgery. That's so interesting that yours is growing more body hair! My husband is already super hairy so I won't tell him that could happen as he would not be happy.
Did your husband have the microsurgery or the embolization?

ProbablyPertunia

Ooh how exciting! Hopefully there's availability to get him in ASAP.

DP was actually enviably hairless he had lovely smooth thighs and only a small amount of hair in the middle of his chest. It's now spreading out towards his nipples...

He had the embolization. I was under the impression that they tend to do surgery if it fails or the surgeon can't place the metal twisty things which is actually the proper and correct term

He had discomfort for the first week, and he's been fine since, although I understand that men who do have issues with it begin to experience them after 6 months or so.

@TheBeesKnee that's actually really interesting. We don't know anyone who has actually had it done so it's good to hear some info.
Sorry if you've said earlier in the thread but did you DH have a SA before the op? Do you remember what his numbers were like?
My DH only has 0.8mil per ml which is crazy low, and from my research it's unlikely his numbers will ever go high enough for a natural pregnancy but should make intervention more likely to succeed.
Did you get the op on NHS or did you go private?

@TheBeesKnee @ProbablyPertunia

Looks like we are all in this together ladies. We saw fertility doc who didn’t recommend varicocele surgery and that it could make things worse. She wanted to do more samples and look at freezing any good ones. If there aren’t any then they would have to do surgical extraction. However, the urologist said it would be fine and he’s happy to do it! Results are same as you @TheBeesKnee - low testosterone and high FSH - specialist freaked me out and made me feel worried about our chances :(

@Scotgirl1 nice guidelines do not recommend surgery for fertility because it only has a 50/50 chance of making things better so you're likely to need IVF anyway which means twice the cost for the NHS. Chances of making things worse are tiny (less than 1%)!

29ProbablyPertunia

Sorry if you've said earlier in the thread but did you DH have a SA before the op? Do you remember what his numbers were like?

Yes he paid for a private one in Harley Street. His results were pretty dire, neither of us were expecting such low numbers, 700k ish said the report but DP thinks they couldn't put zero so they put a lie number in?!

Surgery was NHS as he took the SA results to his GP and said he was in pain as well as infertile. That being said, he is NHS himself, so I think staff get treated a little bit differently from the general population.

Sorry to hear that Scotgirl1 but I suppose knowledge is power etc? Was the fertility doctor against surgery on the testicle or embolization? I suppose if she wants you to pay for icsi etc then that might colour her professional opinion? But I am cynical.

@TheBeesKnee ah ok that makes sense! We also paid for a private SA as my husband realised he had a varicocele so wanted to know if that was causing us to have issues. We are having his treatment done on our private health insurance for pain (can't mention fertility at all or it won't be covered). My GP said referral time for fertility in our area would be almost a year and I'm already tired of how long this is all taking.
How long are you going to give yourself after the op before deciding to go down the assisted conception route?

ProbablyPertunia

How long are you going to give yourself after the op before deciding to go down the assisted conception route?

I don't know, not too long. It's been a long while for us as well, I had tests done for various things myself, we're about 3 years in to this in total, with a year worth of active trying. We've just moved house so I'm not registered with the GP etc. but I don't want to hang about too much. My mum was pregnant with me at 21 and was fine, my sibling at 28 took a huge toll on her, so I'm scared of that too.

@TheBeesKnee yeah that's fair enough.
DH just came out of his appointment, they couldn't do the ultrasound today so that's next Wednesday then he has a follow up on 27th to decide what to do. They're also checking his kidneys as acute varicoceles can be a symptom of a kidney tumour. Sad it's another 2 weeks of waiting before we know if/when he can have the op.

@TheBeesKnee she was against fixing it in general. We are still tempted though. You just never know. Really hope it works for your hubby

@ProbablyPertunia all the waiting drives you crazy doesn’t it. I’ve read results happening from surgery 3 months plus. I really don’t know what we will do.

In a total pickle :(

@Scotgirl1 I found this article a few weeks back and my DH has been icing his balls 4 times a day to try and see if that had any effect on his sperm while we wait for the op. Could that be an option for your husband if he won't be referred for the op?
dontcookyourballs.com/icing-balls-improve-fertility-skinny-testicular-cooling/

@ProbablyPertunia thanks for sharing, I’ll definitely look into this. Who would have thought!

How is everyone?
My DH had his ultrasound today and the technician confirmed the varicocele (which we knew already). Now to wait for the follow up consultant appoint next Friday!
Finger crossed they recommend the embolization and he can get an appointment ASAP.

@ProbablyPertunia

I think that’s what they will recommend as it’s much easier than full on surgery. Hopefully in the next few weeks it will be done and dusted!

ProbablyPertunia

Good that they're moving so quickly!

I just got my period a week early. I think the shock has sent me into floods of tears. I'm now worried about my stupid cycles on top of everything. This cycle was 24 days long! Ridiculous.

Need to pull myself together as DP is calling me for dinner. FFS.

I just found out that two male relatives of my DH were unable to have kids... (Not his father obviously!) Waiting on a urologist appointment next month, but I'm suddenly convinced this means we have no chance of micro TESE working if we're offered one (DH has azoospermia). I'm aware this is founded on nothing but my own sense of doom and gloom, but does anyone have any experience of this either way?

@mayihavesomecakeplease my DH has two uncles who never had kids. I don’t take it that it won’t work for us as back a generation ago it was assumed it was the woman’s fault and if probably wasn’t even investigated. It only takes one sperm so if you get a few you have as a good a chance as anyone - plus I’ve read fragmentation is lower when it’s taken directly from the testicles.

I posted this in a separate thread but this seems a better place - my DH is going to urologist next week - what does he need to ask for - what tests should be done? He will be bringing his latest blood test results, SA and DNA Fragmentation test. There are no urologists where I am who specialize in male infertility so I wanted to have any idea of what we should be expecting as I’m afraid he’ll just be dismissive.

Any help greatly appreciated!!!

Hi all, hope it's OK to join. My OH has 8mil sperm per ml and we were told we had to do ICSI. So far done two cycles, about to do a third transfer as a FET.

He was not recommended any lifestyle changes and was not even physically examined. Only had blood tests (came back normal) and SA.

People whose OH had a varicocele, how did you find that out? Could my OH have a varicocele and not know?

If this third transfer doesn't work we have to go private. Maybe they will look at him properly.

My first transfer was a chemical pregnancy, second was BFP but MMC at 8.5 weeks. After first transfer failed I demanded a laparoscopy as I've always had bad period pain and they found I have endometriosis and adenomyosis too, but apparently mild enough not to affect fertility.

My OH agreed to take supplements after his first SA but we were never told results of second SA or what his count was for the two fresh cycles of ICSI. Can't have been good though as they still did ICSI. He is overweight, eats quite a bit of junk, does no exercise whatsoever but refuses to consider this a factor because the doctors didn't suggest anything to him and there's nothing very persuasive on the NHS website either.

Thund4rcat

Welcome and so sorry to hear about your losses.

8m isn't a terrible result, has he ever had any other tests? Testosterone, etc?

Could my OH have a varicocele and not know?

It's possible, I'm not sure. My DP's was pretty prominent and he knew he got it after taking a football to the groin many years ago.

Unfortunately I think your DP's lifestyle does affect his sperm count and quality. I know that the best performing clinics in London refuse treatment until weight etc are under control.

I think men's egos are very fragile around fertility and their bodies and responsibilities, so I'm not surprised that he's reticent to address it. Could you try a different route - you want him in shape and alive and healthy to run around after your baby and be there for them?

How old is your DP? That also plays a part even though a lot of people think men can be as old as they want.

@thebeesknee yeah he is 46 so that's probably the main factor. Hopefully if we go private they will tell him to sort his diet and weight. He feels very guilty about putting me through IVF due to him having problems, I don't want to make him feel worse by nagging him. But he is very sceptical of any advice that is not peer reviewed published science, and I just haven't found anything conclusive enough.

Good idea about having energy for running around! He is not grossly overweight but maybe 2 stone overweight. The only exercise he is willing to do if I nag him is on an exercise bike which I know is also bad for MFI so not much point nagging him to do that...

Well here I am on the train home. I am missing a dear colleague's leaving do tonight because it is my fertile period and I am feeling hopeful for a change! I think DP is as well, he's started taking vitamins and is improving his diet - as in, eating more. He's very skinny and a lack of protein and calories can affect sperm count, on top of everything else!

How is everyone else doing?

Hi @thebeesknees my DH had his urology appointment and the doc felt something so is referring him for a ultrasound! If it’s a varicole then hopefully they’ll do an embolism and we will go from there. We’re due to start another round of IVF now in three weeks! Wondering if it’s worth it if he has this problem to be fixed but he wants to go ahead anyway!! Guess we will see what the ultrasound says.

@TheBeesKnee I really hope this is your month!
@Steenac7 will you be having genetic testing as part of your IVF? Varicocele's can cause DNA fragmentation so from my research it's best to get each embryo checked to see if they are genetically normal as it decreases your chances of miscarriage.

My DH has his follow up with the urologist today, he's been referred for the embolisation. Now to wait for a letter from the surgeon to organise the procedure. Let's hope that comes through soon!

Hi!
I hope you have success this month @TheBeesKnee, and you too in your next ivf round @Steenac7
My husband has joined the gym and is trying to get his diet better. He isn’t massively overweight but he could have a healthier diet! His commitment has definitely increased since his improvement in sperm analysis!
We had some progress today, the clinic letter came saying they had received our referral so we just needed to let them know some details and then they will give us an appointment!
Obviously the letter is already back in the postbox so that it will get there Monday morning!!
Fingers crossed for a short waiting list!

Well, I am officially in the 2 week wait! AF or a BFP is expected on 18th October. DP gave it a good, err, go this month. I suggested one last go for luck last night and he looked like I was suggesting abuse

How is everyone else getting on?