Join us here for the TMI IVF March/April/May thread

[AliceAbsolum]

New March/April IVF thread.

I'm Alice, 34, TTC1 for 3 years 4 months. Currently 4 days into a short ivf protocol with max dose of stims as my AMH ran away last year. Its my only NHS funded cycle and my last chance to have a child that's genetically mine. /fingers crossed/

@Pleaseletitbeme it must be awful having to wait for the next scan before the d and C. Definitely don’t go to work -if work are tricky go to the doctors and get them to sign you off. You are grieving-you need to do what’s best for you to look after yourself.

@Pleaseletitbeme I'm so sorry to hear that. I had to work the week I found out and in hind sight I wish I hadn't - there's no medal at the end of it. Take care of yourself. x

Thank you Mouse and Worriedbutterfly.
I actually feel all alone in the world right now.
My OH is away. My mum died 3 years ago this month and my two closest friends are away.
I live in the middle of nowhere too.
I’ve taken myself off into the nearest town (which is 45min drive) to get some little bedding plants for the garden.

I am so sorry to hear this @pleaseletitbeme look after yourself xx

@Pleaseletitbeme sending love and hugs your way, you are very strong to do this by yourself. Go and see your neighbour if you get along with them- sometimes it's nice to have some company just for distraction even though you may not feel up to it

So sorry @Pleaseletitbeme take care of yourself xx

Phree. Thank you.
Our only neighbour is my sister in law. She has a little baby and a toddler. I just can’t face them. I can’t stop crying.
I havent been very emotional through this whole thing but it’s hit me like a tonne of bricks today.

:( sweets pop, can't you tell OH to come home early? You really need someone around this isn't fair on you :(

@Pleaseletitbeme So so sorry. How utterly sad. Get signed off or take a week self certified. Not good to sit alone but going in sounds really tough.
Can you call people? Speak to DH? We're here.
Maybe get an engaging audio book and an early night? Xx

@Pleaseletitbeme thinking of you this evening. I’m sorry you feel isolated. Is your Oh and friends returning soon? I hope so. X

@pleaseletitbeme I’m so sorry to hear your news today I really am. When is hubby and friends due home? Just remember you are never alone, we are all here for you should you need us any time night or day ❤️ Sending you so much love x

Also do you have any work friends who may be able to come see you? Can hubby not come home sooner? Xx

Oh @Pleaseletitbeme We're here with you, it is hard so very hard. For me it felt a lot easier after the d&c I was lucky that I had private medical so got it done quicker. I was the same with not being emotional and then it just hit me. If there is anyone you could be around it will help. x

Thank you all so much.
A colleague of mine had a dire emergency tonight... it’s someone who I owe my whole career to- so I’ve been out for 5 hours helping her. It’s made me feel a bit better.
OH is home (he was only away for the day. But I’m so angry with him. I needed him so badly today and he wasn’t there for me).
You guys are all amazing. I’m so grateful to you all spending the time sending me so much comfort.
I’ve got my private clinic scan Friday still and I’m going to see if they will refer me for a private d+c. Im happy to pay. I just want it all over and done with.

@pleaseletitbeme bless you, today has been a rollercoaster. Hoping you have a good sleep tonight and that Friday you’ll be able to arrange private treatment. Keep strong, our little tough cookie ❤️

Hoping, thank you.
I feel like my whole life is about to come crashing down.

@Pleaseletitbeme how are you doing today hun? Glad OH is back for some company and support. You're both in this together remember that xx

On top of all of yesterday's upset.
I've had a blazing row with OH.
I slept in the spare room
Last night and I'm contemplating moving out. He doesn't care and none of his family like me or care, so what's the point?
I've managed to get my private appointment brought forward to late this afternoon. If I have two scans a week apart showing my little embaby has died then I won't have to wait until Wednesday to get sorted out.
I'm an absolute wreck. I knew this could happen but didn't think it would happen to me.

Little update I had my follow up appointment and the consultant was happy for us to go again on next cycle 😊 wishing all who are having a bloomin tough time all the strength, it really is rubbish but just remember there’s always another way. We will all get there! How did you get on @phreedam
@pleaseletitbeme stay focused. This is an incredibly painful time for you both and it is bound to cause heated arguments. Just remember how much you love each other, you can get through this together. Just take it one step at a time lovely xx

@Pleaseletitbeme I just want to give you a hug. Hang in there. In case it is helpful with your scan appts: I had my initial doom scam on the Saturday, had a follow up on Monday and got booked in for D&C then. I think you have to have two scans but not a week apart. X

@pleaseletitbeme

You're going through so much right now, its ok to think about your actions but I worry about making big decisions. I hope you and OH can make up today. It's hard when people don't support us in the way we would like.

Thinking of you this afternoon having your scan.

You can get through this xx

@Hopingforbabyd that sounds good, when are you expecting to start your next cycle?im on the period from hell at the moment after the last cycle- OH GOSH my blood pressure plummeted this morning I thought I was going to pass out it was really bad!!if hubby wasn't around I don't know where I would be

Our appointment went well too, we will be going for a slightly more aggressive protocol and if that doesn't work then we do a Natural Modified IVF cycle after that. We are ready to go on our next cycle too :) just sorting things out with Access now, not sure if it'll be worth it for us vs. Just paying the clinic... doing some maths atm lol.

So.... my private clinic confirmed no change at all from last weeks scan. No heartbeat.
They have referred me back to the nhs epu.
I asked about a private referral and they said they couldn’t help or advise me further on that.
I’m really not happy at all.
I’ve phoned my GP (who isn’t back until tomorrow) to see if they can point me in the right direction of a referral.
I’m absolutely beside myself. Something is dead inside me and I want it out.

@pleaseletitbeme so sorry to hear all of this, I don’t really know what to say as I’m not too sure what the process would be from here though I understand this is just horrendous. But just know we’re here if you need us x

@phreedam so glad your appointment went well too! It’s so nice to of had something to look forward to after feeling so down. Yes I believe I am the same as you, the consultant said everything looked great until the day 3 (3 embryos from 9) he said he was baffled at the drop and suggested using more doses for stims to quicken the process up as he thinks my egg quality (though producing a wanted amount) just isn’t quite there to make it all the way. He seems pretty confident and that put confidence in me too. I was glad it was good news as I had to go on my own today as hubby is working away. I asked for an endometrial scratch but he said not to waste my money. He was keen to start me on norethisterone tomorrow being day 21 but the nurse said to wait 2 more cycles. I wasn’t best pleased so I pushed for next cycle as I’m conscious of my endo making a return and he’s happy. Hello cycle buddy 😁 I’m looking forward to getting back into the swing of it. I finally feel like I’ve collected myself from being so sad. I’m intrigued to know what a natural modified ivf cycle is? X