Join us here for the TMI IVF March/April/May thread

[AliceAbsolum]

New March/April IVF thread.

I'm Alice, 34, TTC1 for 3 years 4 months. Currently 4 days into a short ivf protocol with max dose of stims as my AMH ran away last year. Its my only NHS funded cycle and my last chance to have a child that's genetically mine. /fingers crossed/

This is my scan.... sigh....

@hopingforbabyd ivf is one hell of a journey more than I ever imagined. I’m doing good we have our review appt next week and prob going to go with a private cycle in a few months (poss 2 with a reduction with access fertility) taking on board the recommendations of ‘it starts with the egg’ altho I have been enjoying some down time with family and friends with a drink or two before we get back on the roller coaster x

@2019isouryear I definitely agree with you there. So glad you have a plan in place and have enjoyed some much needed TLC! I have been doing the same since my failed cycle and Dya know what....for once, I have absolutely no idea when af is due to arrive again and I kinda like it 😌 good luck for your follow up. Me and @phreedam have kids too next week! I’m looking forward to knowing what protocol we will be on and whether they will change things from last time. Lovely to have another access buddy as well x

@2019isouryear @Hopingforbabyd yay to the Access buddies! I'm really looking forward to finding out the consultants recommendations too. Onwards and upwards. Had a bit of a hard time this week if I'm honest think The failed cycle is really hitting me.
Didn't help with my other half saying he wants to tell his parents about our ivf which I felt really uneasy about (I'm a very private person) also his family don't come from a very educated background back home so i don't really want to know their views on the subject. It's been a really tough few days. All this drama has just thrown me down into the dumps again. He didn't end up telling them about ivf after seeing me so upset about it but just said we are getting treatment done. I just feel under so much pressure now that everyone knows and they're expecting me to get a move on.
Sorry to rant but it's so hard for me to handle right now.

@phreedam I get what ur saying we told very few people about our first cycle (I only told a handful of close friends, no family) so I get where u r coming from. We just didn’t want the pressure or the side ways glances. I’m glad we did it that way as I don’t think I cud of handled the questions even if coming from a good place. x

@phreedam I completely understand what you mean. This cycle we did tell our friends and family, I took the two weeks off work and when it didn’t work I absolutely hated that I was then faced with filling everyone in about it. Even my pals, who have been so supportive, still don’t quite understand and I feel I’ve educated them so much but I don’t expect them too. However it’s still hard when they don’t fully get it. This time round we aren’t telling anyone. I will only tell my manager as I’ll need time off but I won’t be saying what stage I’m at just that I need appointment days. I’m going to go back to work during tww and if I’m honest, I’m looking forward to not telling anyone. People do care and do want to know but at the same time it made me realise how much I pressured myself to feel pressured if that makes sense? Carry on with how you are I say because it truly is a lot when you start to share - I’d say only share if you’re fully comfortable with it. Some people like to tell everyone as that’s how they find their support, it’s not a bad thing to go with your own flow and keep private. Keep strong it’ll be okay, promise x

Totally agree @hopingforbabyd

Hi ladies, sorry been absent from the thread for a while - had to step away for a bit after my chemical. I am sorry to hear things haven't worked out for some of you too but glad you have plans to try again. I'm looking forward too and the clinic has a new plan for us which I will be hearing about this week. Hope to see those trying again on a future thread! xx

@pleaseletitbeme I am sorry to hear about your scan, I hope Friday brings better news xx

Really trying hard not to let it bother me but it's frustrating that I'm now answerable to more people. It's our culture to be honest the in laws always give daughter in laws a hard time. To be honest we've only been married 2 and a half years so I don't know what's stuck up there butts and why my husband feels like he owes them an answer. Just the the whole thing, it's so upsetting on top of everything already.
@Hopingforbabyd with work as well I'm not planning on telling any details to my manager either- just going to ask for time off for appointments like you suggested.

@phreedam that's really tough on you. Just try and not rise to it/them easier said than done. The whole IVF discussion is a strange one, the way it is thrown around like it's normality, by people who have no understanding. Since my MMC 2 weeks ago, my DH has told his family (not about IVF just the MC). I've mainly been pleasantly surprised, I hope it might be the same for you, that they will be supportive. If not just block it out the best you can, don't allow them to make you feel more pressurised, you can be in control of that.

I have been keeping up with all of you, even though I've not been posting, glad you have plans in place for the next steps. My follow up isn't until 20th June which feels like an age, plus I most probably have to wait for 2 periods before I can go again as I had ERPC. I seem to be getting more emotional about it instead of better. I had last week off and now it feels like I have to resume to 'normal'. We are all warriors to get through this - I never thought it would be so difficult. I think I was so head strong through my first round and now every emotion has hit me. Sorry for babbling. X

@WorriedButterfly hmm it really is a tough one. I'm trying to ignore as best I can. The in laws are coming to the uk to stay with us as well at some point in the next couple of months so I'm also worried about starting treatment and then feeling pressured to get it all done before they get here. sigh

@2019isouryear it's such a personal thing isn't it, it's easier to keep it between you and the other half I feel (maybe a best friend/mum for some girly support) but no one else.

@WorriedButterfly I'm really glad that your in laws have been supportive of you, you deserve it. Your very strong for continuing on-well done for keeping in good spirits xxx

Thanks @phreedam - not sure about strong, I feel pretty isolated and down most of the time atm!

@WorriedButterfly sorry sweetpea, really can't imagine how difficult this is for you. It really feels like no way out sometimes, but there is help out there now.. we are alive in good progressive times.

Just an update.
Had another little bleed last night.
Spoke to clinic this morning who said keep appointment for rescan on Friday and rest until then.

@Pleaseletitbeme so sorry to hear about the bleed. Friday must feel so long away-i wish it was sooner for you.

Thanks Mouse.
I just want Friday to be here.
I’ve already decided I just want a d+c. I can’t cope with going through a natural
Miscarriage.

@Pleaseletitbeme I hope and pray that it's nothing to worry about. Lots of hugs for you, not too long to go now.

It's Eid tommorow which is a celebration that marks the end of Ramadan, I've been planning my outfit and making food for the neighbours- it's so nice to have something different to do which takes my mind off this whole thing this week. Really needed a time out from thinking about our fertility for a bit!

Phree... I’m not too familiar with Eid. However, I wish you a lovely time with family and friends. Xxx

@phreedam Eid Mubarak -enjoy your day! School will be more empty with children and staff celebrating today. Enjoy the distraction and try to have a fertility free day!

Thanks @Pleaseletitbeme and @mouse1234567 !! got loads of yummy food on the go, spending the day with family. Haha yes it's fertility free hopefully but will be prepping for the consultant appointment on Thursday- want to make the most of it. Hope you guys are well xxx

Have a wonderful celebration @phreedam and enjoy the tasty treats!

@Pleaseletitbeme - keeping everything crossed for you, I know how painful the waiting is and the feeling of being so helpless, rest, look after yourself and hold on to the hope. I went for the D&C option and felt better in a strange way afterwards, been a bit up and down since but definitely the right choice for me. X

EPU scan today.
Embryo is shrinking and measuring only 5 weeks. No heartbeat.
NHS protocol dictates I have to go back in 1 week for a rescan. Then I can have a d+c.

@apleaseletitbeme so so sorry. I know there will be no words that are going to comfort you at this time. Thinking of you. X

Thanks Mouse. Just want it to be all over. I’m exhausted by the whole thing.
Someone else at work is 9weeks pregnant. I should have been a week behind. I can’t face going in.