IVF / ICSI June/July 2019

[ChatWithMe]

Hello to the ladies reading this.

My husband and I had a successful pregnancy with a fresh cycle of IVF in 2017 and so we have a 13 month old son.

We had a frozen embryo transfer last month. Because we had success the first time round we kind of expected the FET to work. So getting a bfn last week was soul destroying.

Due to husband's preferences and clinic availability we won't be starting a second round of IVF until mid June 2019 (which means egg collection mid July). This means I have to wait until end of July for the first sign it's been successful or not.

Feeling sad and anxious. I'm turning 38 in July so not sure if any chance of having a second child if this next cycle doesn't work. I'm so desperate for our son to have a sibling and I've always wanted to have two children.

I wonder if anyone in a similar situation? It can be a very lonely time getting through each day during this long wait.

Thanks for your replies x

@ChatWithMe haha yes sick of wine and chocolate might not be a realistic aim - I love t both so much although as I haven’t drunk in 3 months I’ve had to take it steady this week!!

@facevalue and @hgdg2018 no one was more surprised than us to get a frostie this cycle, I feel I am very lucky to still have that hope and it’s what I am clinging to.
Everything crossed @facevalue for your scan, I really really really hope this is a sticky one! I hope you’re doing okay in the wait. The waiting doesn’t get any easier does it!

Is hard to keep it together at work atm, especially when I found out my team had been gossiping about me being pregnant or not. But I take it as a good sign I’m putting on one hell of a good brave face &doing my job okay for them not to have guessed! And I stop managing them all in 7 days (not that I’m counting or anything) so I shouldn’t let gossip bother me.

I told my employers and some people at work know. We're not really keeping it a secret but people don't ask unless I talk about it so I took a week off easily and they understood. Suppose all work places aren't the same so I guess I'm lucky that way!

Time is what you need. So cliché isn't it but time does help to heal x

i'm just taking a moment to reflect on how hard the journey can be for many of us and how bloody unfair it can seem. i really think if the government approved nhs funding for these cycles we would have so much less stress and agony. we r making huge financial and emotional sacrifice . i wish they would have an ivf funding scheme just like a mortgage that you just pay off over the years like a student loan etc

goodluck everyone- i am still checking this thread incase anyone wants support x feel free to PM me if fancy/ need a chat x lots of love to all

I still keep checking them too obviously everyone is very busy etc and it's hard to keep checking on people you don't know on an internet forum!

Looking forward to January to get started again! x

The payment plan thing sounds good. Im guessing you can do that privately with some providers but haven't looked into it. Any NHS help is great but it's a sinking ship so gotta be grateful we're not 10 years down the line as future patients may get no help :-(

I also think that even though my husband has had a baby (nearly 12 years ago) why does this not qualify us for even 1 go of IVF on the NHS? Anything can change in 12 years and I have never been pregnant!

I totally agree with you hgdg2018. His child isn't your child but guess it's an arbitrary way to limit funding :-(

is that still the case if your child had died? or was kidnapped! or taken away by the other partner to another country ... it sound fucking unfair . as a female to be punished because u picked a partner who had a child previously !

i never accepted this rule as sounds absolutely ridiculous

oh god i feel for you girls. the private sector are such sharks, and public funding is a real lottery. here in london it's a total patchwork. some boroughs won't fund women over 33 at all, some will only fund one attempt. i am really lucky to live in lambeth where i was offered 1 fresh and 2 frozen (although you have to have been trying for 3 years there rather than 2, as is the case literally across the road in southwark... which seems really daft, as it meant i couldn't start treatment until i was 39...) i suppose this is what you get after 10 years of the tories suffocating the nhs to death.

ANYWAY i'm really hoping to hear some good news stories from you soon. i have my nuchal scan next week so will check in and let you know how that goes. if it's any consolation at all i have felt at death's door the last 6 weeks and just reading the post above about wine and chocolate made me heave! i thought i would miss all these things but i'm on a strict diet of marmite on toast and tangerines to the exclusion of nearly everything else.... really hoping it starts to get better as i'm off on hols in a couple of weeks and i do not want to spend the entire time with my head in the loo...

love to all, keep strong x

Wow Clueless21 sounds so uncomfortable! Hope the sickness goes soon. Maybe worse cause you're carrying twins? I was lucky with our son and only had occasional nausea, no vomitting. Good luck with your nuchal scan :-) Oh and I've not tried marmite cause I'm too worried it will be disgusting but sounds like you really love it hehe

@Clueless21 erghhhh don't get me started on the bloody tories ! i don't want to turn this thread into politics cos it's just for us to support each other.

so i just had my scan 7+4 and we saw a heartbeat .

i'd be more relaxed when it's the 12w scan in nov.

Congratulationsfacevalue - what a lovely experience seeing that flashing white dot in the scan. I want that again! Good luck with your 12 week scan when the time comes :-)

@ChatWithMe thank you lovely xxx fingers crossed

Hello everyone - has anyone started there journey yet - I will be going for ICSI in April xx has anyone got any ideas of how to prepare - or someone who can share there journey xx

Hi AmberAli786
Have you started your ICSI ??
I will have my first ICSI as soon as the clinic will open.

Hi AmberAli786 and Mirka20. I see this old thread got revived lol I was on here back in Autumn 2019. Since then I have done 3 IUIs and one ICSI cycle with a fresh transfer. Not yet pregnant. When are your clinics booking you in? Where are you in your journeys? A couple of the ladies from last year's group got lucky so maybe 2020 is the year for all you hopefuls. If any of the previous members of this group read this, feel free to let us know how you're doing! And to everyone, enjoy the beautiful sunshine today!

Hi @ChatWithMe,
Weve only done 1 more ICSI cycle which resulted in a transfer but negative. Since this was our second cycle they now think its something to do with my eggs which is why it might not be working. We have 2 cycles left with the access fertility we've done. Fingers crossed? They're closed atm so just waiting until we can go again.

They've said they will change my meds and will now put me on both menopur and gonal f for stims as apparently that's what they do in the USA for all women?

How are you doing?

Hi hgdg2018. Good to hear from you. Too bad the last one didn't work. You and I have two failed cycles behind us so here's to our next go! I wonder how the addition of gonal f helps. I'm ok. Actually quite upbeat these days. Focused on other goals during lockdown. That's great you're doing access fertility so you save money in the long run.

Hi @ChatWithMe,

Yes we werent as down as the first time round. We didn't make transfer first time so at least we got a bit further the 2nd time and transferred. Although they gave us a 0-5% chance of implant we thought we might aswell try.

I had gonal f the first time round and menopur the 2nd. We got 100% maturity on the 2nd round with the eggs they got but they got more the first time round with the gonal f! They said my body is acting like I have pcos but I don't! Who knows! I'm a mystery...

Is yours unexplained fertility too?

Lockdown has been the strangest thing!

Ah strange. Yes infertility is very mysterious indeed! Unexplained to some degree for us. Really I think it's just poor egg and sperm quality due to our ages - me almost 39 and DH almost 44. DNA gets damaged over time so it's just a case of missing the boat I reckon. However life is what it is. So let's see what fate has in store for us this year eh?

@ChatWithMe Ah right! Yep fingers crossed. After these 2 times we have I'm not sure we would continue after. It's so draining!

@ChatWithMe how did your 3rd round go? X

Hi hgdg2018. I'm 12 weeks pregnant now with one baby. It was the final embryo from round 3. Very happy of course. Morning sickness sucks but I'll pull through. How are you? I don't use Mumsnet much after a bad experience recently but if I get a notification someone has messaged me I try to reply. I hope everyone else on here has had positive things happen too!

@ChatWithMe I don't use it much either now but thought I had to check in as we were both on our 3rd round!
I'm currently 9 weeks with non identical twins! 😂 We had both our grade e's transferred and they both stuck! 😍😍

So happy yours worked too! I've only felt sick I've not actually been sick yet. Fingers crossed!!

Congratulations hgdg2018. That's lovely news! It just goes to show that some good can come from all this struggle. Hope you have two healthy happy babies next year!