New year, new 'starting the journey' thread

[CloudSway]

I know there are a lot of threads about people starting out, but they were all started a while ago and everyone seems a lot further ahead these days.

So.... newbies unite?

DH and I have been ttc for 2yrs. Saw our gp who ordered blood tests and sperm tests. He gave us a boat load of info..... jokes, he was pants. Told me I was 'fine' and husband was 'not fine', only detail was that DH has 4mil out of a necessary 16mil sperm, mentioned ivf and referred us to a specialist. That's all the info we got. Today I had a transabdominal and transvaginal ultrasound. It was not the most fun 20 mins of my life but it was fine, now I'm trying to play Sherlock and figure out what the random numbers the radiologist was shouting about my ovaries meant. How about you?

Because I'm early stages, I avoided forums/Google etc because I'm prone to anxiety and didn't want to panic unnecessarily. Therefore apologies but I'm still trying to figure out all the abbreviations and lingo! Also sorry, I'm naturally sarcastic and a bit sweary, but that doesn't mean I'm insensitive - it would be great to share stories and support each other here

@Finallytakingtheplunge thanks hun x

Oh my god, im so sorry to hear about your dog - I know they are like family, I hope he/she went peacefully, sorry for your loss xx

I hate that there's so many stories where people have made it worse for you. I'm sure I'll develop a thick skin but at the moment I still feel pretty awkward about being probed and chatting about my periods and sex life - I don't need any snotty or arrogant professionals...

I have my first clinic appointment tomorrow. Results back from the ultrasounds says I have a haemorrhaged cyst on my right ovary, which doesn't sound great, and a thin lining... although I believe that is easily fixed?.. Hoping to have a lot more answers tomorrow!

@2fingers22018 it can be hot and miss with them. Some of them are really caring and lovely!
Omg, I'm so so sorry to hear about your dog, they are so precious. Sending hugs ❤️

@CloudSway good luck for your appointment tomorrow. Sorry to hear about the cyst. They'll obviously be letting you know further info tomorrow? Good luck and hope they give you the answers you need. Xx

@squirrelnutkins1 has your af arrived yet??

No, day 37 now 🙄 I'm expecting it any min as my mood is terrible 🤣

@cloudsway hope your appointment goes well! Let us know!

Fingers crossed AF arrives soon @squirrelnutkins1

@squirrelnutkins1 so typical isn't it!
I've had cold all week, starting to go now, but still have sore throat and cough!!
Does that mess your cycle up does anyone know?
Hope yours hurries up now!
Haven't been ill for so long, so it's so typical now!
@CloudSway good luck for your appointment!!
@2fingers22018 hope you're feeling ok ❤️

Thanks guys, just got back from our appointment.

So i had a female training gp who was really great. She said I would need to go back for another us to get the cyst checked but no other info on that front. The hands down issue is sperm, it's very low across every test, and because of that she said we need to go for icsi ivf? Apparently that means taking mine and DHs and combining then putting them back in. That means I won't have to have a hycosy (take the positives where you can!)

It's not exactly a surprise, but I'm finding myself so angry - not at DH or the clinic or anything, just at the world that this has to be so bloody hard. I also know in some ways I'm still pretty fortunate... but right now I'm just pissed off. Anyone else?

Hi @cloudsaway we are icsi ivf as well as DH has no forward moving sperm so understand your frustrations!
But at least you know what you are working towards now! So what is the next step for you did they say?

Sorry you are feeling angry but now you know the path you are taking so try and focus on that. Big hugs

Hi @cloudsway I'm sorry you're feeling shitty. I think it's totally understandable. I hope they can give you a clear idea of next steps so you have something to focus on. What happens next for you?

I've still not detected ovulation this month so think my hsg has done something weird and I'm in for a long cycle. We are seeing the consultant Wednesday to discuss next steps and i'm going to raise my cycles. Those of you on clomid, is that due to signs you're not ovulating?I'm wondering if that would be given to me.

I've just had a positive opk on CD22...could it be genuine or is it likely to be an anovulatory cycle? The last time this happened I had a positive in cd26 and AF didn't arrive until cd59. so frustrating

Hi all; had my gp appointment. All forms filled in; just need to go and sign them now to be referred. They thinkbecause my progesterone was 24 at day 21 it’s probably me the issue. All other bloods seemed ok I think. We meet the criteria which is great! Not sur show long the wait is now but will stay on this thread as no one really gets the emotional baggage that comes with it. I just get ‘well at least they no what there doing and now you can relax!!!’

Hi @GreyC hope next steps are helpful for you. I have found it a good process so far. After positive opk today we haven't been able to dtd today due to DP's ED. It's so stressful. I could cry but I know how hard it is for him.

@veeboo thats tough sorry hun x

It's really hard. I asked a friend if we could stop talking about it and I think I have offended her now. People keep telling me that maybe now my tests are clear I'll feel less stressed and it will just happen...but I told all these people that our issue is erectile dysfunction and noone ever asks about that, it's always you're stressed etc. Its driving me crazy. And now I've upset her by trying to explain that.

Don’t feel bad for telling your friend to stop; it’s about you and your o/h not them!

I have told very few people and they are more very close friends and they have got good at only asking when I start talking about it.

I’ve decided to book a private follicle tracking scan; well 3 I think you get, I get positive Opks and always have done so it will be interesting to see what it looks like internally especially when my day 21 bloods show I might not be ovulating!

Thanks @GreyC. she got offended because I said people don't listen which was harsh of me. But they don't, they wouldn't tell me ita because I'm stressed if they'd actually heard me say the problem is our sex life. I'm feeling quite overwhelmed at the moment because we've totally missed trying this cycle. I'll apologise to her when I've calmed down.

It sounds like you'll start getting all the right facts soon.

That must be so hard; especially when people won’t listen.
Thank goodness for these forums!

I hope so; for the little amount of money it is; it would be nice to just see what’s going on. Such a rollercoaster

Yes. I feel I've been completely unreasonable and will need to apologise though 🤦‍♀️.

I agree about the tests. Even though we suspected I wouldn't have an issue I have found having the results and facts really helpful. I have a list of questions for our next appointment.

Don't feel too bad, it's not your fault for snapping, and you shouldn't have to put a brave face on everything. I think just explaining and apologising once you've calmed down is a good call.

Having it due to ed must be proper crappy for you, because you feel like you could be doing more? But it's no different to it being because of your internal workings, it's still just a barrier that's noones fault. Does it feel harder for you than you think it would if it were some other reason? What does your OH say? You must both be tearing your hair out, it's all just shit innit.

Might design a flag for us, the 'Life Is Unfair Bollocks' brigade. Or maybe 'Rare Baby Hunters' club, tagline 'harder to catch, but way more special'.... 😏😆

@CloudSway I think it feels hard because it's so beyond my control and also beyond DPs. The fertility clinic have referred him to a specialist but otherwise all they've said is they could give us a syringe to self disseminate (!) And DP doesn't want to do that. There just seems to be so little support available and we cant be the only couple this happens to. We use viagra which helps but it's a huge issue having enough sex and getting the timing right. I've been in tears this morning and had to hide it from him because I know it's a whole month gone.

I am probably going to play devils advocate on the people you’ve told front!
I think while we tell people because we want to be able to talk about it and have support. I think we have to appreciate that if they are not going through it themselves it is hard for them to be what you want them to be. I have told a few people and they understand that if I want to say anything about it I will if I don’t then they don’t bring it up and that suits me it may not others and I appreciate we are all different but we have to remember that even though we are having a real shit time it isn’t their fault they don’t understand it or say the right thing.

I haven’t said this to offend anyone just I believe we get so caught up in ourselves we forgot that it’s hard for everyone else to understand us.

Big hugs to everyone that is having a crappy time this weekend xx

Hi @@finallytakingtheplunge. I agree but this particular friend keeps bringing it up and saying it will happen when I'm not stressed or even that I should put my legs in the air after sex...despite me having told her the issue is ED. She's never asked about how that's going.

Perhaps she's embarrassed to ask? Or feels awkward essentially asking about your OHs penis! I totally understand that it's much deeper than that, and we are all used to in depth discussions about our sex lives/periods/various excretions (!!), but it is worth remembering that most people find that sort of chat uncomfortable. I'd still be pissed off that she doesn't seem to be listening, but like I say get your feelings out and feel angry for a bit, then once you've calmed down just talk to her maybe.

Sorry there's not enough support out there for you both, I bet it's because men don't like talking about it enough for doctors to realise the number of people it would help!

Thanks ladies. It's good to have this forum as a reality check. I've said sorry for being a grouch now but that I don't want to talk about it. I absolutely get she doesn't want to talk about my partners ED. Nor do I! I could do with a break from the unsolicited advice though.