BFP after IVF: nervous ladies needed a handhold Part II

[gingergnome]

Hi everyone,

Think that the last thread for this topic reached its limit, so have started a new one.

Good luck to everyone who has finally got that longed for BFP!

This is a place for everything that comes after the 2WW: celebrating milestones, being (cautiously!) excited, symptom checking, worrying, sharing advice, commiserating bad news, generally keeping each other going, and willing each other along on our way to the 12 week mark.

A bit about me: 39 y/old, 0 DC, IVF ICSI cycle 1, first BFP since TTC, currently 6+0.

Look forward to meeting lots of people with new BFPs and sharing your journey!

Tagging in some ladies from the old thread,
@itonlytakesone
@TheArtfulScreamer
@cannonball8726

@beherenow32 yep breastfeeding is hard but definitely getting better - it's no longer painful and we're getting quicker at latching. She also seems satiated with most breast feeds - but having to top up once or twice a day with formula when she's still hungry after a lot of time on the boob! The formula volumes are definitely reducing - now around 1-2 ounces if I top up (once or twice a day) - but my baby is only four weeks. I'm expressing at the times I top up with formula to boost my supply. It's hard work but things are much better than they were so I'm trying to be positive. Don't give yourself such a hard time, we are trying our best. And as long as baby is fed and happy, that's the main thing!

@HJ82 yep I change at every feed - but trying to do more frequently. Giving her some nappy free time and I have started bathing her daily so we can get on top of it. And obviously using metanium. Hoping it improves. Maternal guilt is awful though!! When is your due date? Excited to be finishing work?

Ladies stress over we had lift off this afternoon with the fullest nappy I've ever seen, I'm glad the event occurred whilst she was sat on my knee so I could change her as soon as she'd finished otherwise I imagine it would've ruined her clothes.
Florence has a 5oz formula bottle around 9pm then she wakes up anytime between midnight and 2am and then usually between 4 and 5 and then between 7 and 8 during the day she feeds around every 2 and a half hours but sometimes does stretch to nearly 4 hours in an afternoon. I try and express when I can as she sometimes needs a top up around tea time and I like this to be breast milk.
She is getting better at feeding quicker and going longer so my milk must be getting fattier.

@TheArtfulScreamer1 glad Florence will be feeling more comfortable! Your pattern does sound quite similar to Sofia.
But I’ve been a mess today. Crying all day. I can’t cope with breastfeeding. So she’s had bottles all afternoon ☹️ Gave her a little boob, and she is now crying and rooting for my boob. Argh. I don’t completely stop but this is so hard.

And now she’s on my boob. Which I don’t mind but I am worried for my mental health and coping. You’re all amazing for carrying on

And she’s off! Happier with DH. Just screaming with me but not actually hungry... oh well. Will stop moaning. Xx

Aww behere I wish I could give you a hug and you're not moaning you're just having a bad day, we all have those, tomorrow is a new day and she may be different again. Please drink more fluid though your body will struggle to make milk without it, I noticed straight away with my milk when I started drinking more.
Breastfeeding is bloody hard work I can't believe how naive I was about it and I'm not ashamed to admit if I'd have known 8 weeks ago what I know now I'd have gone straight to full formula fed (and still might at some point).
Hang on in there and do whatever is best for the both of you.

@TheArtfulScreamer1 thank you. I was having a bit of a breakdown yesterday 😞 we gave her gripe water and she let out loads of wind. Then slept 4 and 3 hours between feeds (only 30 mins since last one). I was going to give her bottles all night, but she wouldn’t take them, and fell asleep after breast.
I think breastfeeding is making me try to feed baby too much. She has possibly had trapped wind keeping her up.
I’ll keep drinking water, mix feeding for now, but still very likely move onto bottles. Didn’t feel like a good mum at all yesterday!
Hope your little one is doing better xx

She's been a lot better since her clear out yesterday although she does get trapped wind to and we use gripe water. If she's managing 3 and 4 hours between feeds you must be doing something right She wouldn't sleep like that if she wasn't settled.

@TheArtfulScreamer1 the gripe water was brilliant.
Seems like my supply is good for her during the night. But then I’m too tired to get up and make a bottle. During the day, I make one! She just had 5oz there.
It’s a learning curve for us all! Xx

@beherenow32 please go easy on yourself. You're being way too hard on yourself and it's a recipe for postnatal depression. I too have tortured myself about feeding and felt really down about it. But we need to remember that we are trying our best and we are so lucky to be in this position at all. A year ago we were all about to start our IVF cycles. Can you imagine knowing then that a year later you will have a baby - and be depressed about feeding?! You would have told yourself to sort it out and just be happy that you have a little one - and that she's doing well.

@theartfulscreamer breastfeeding is just exhausting. The frequency is relentless! I had really not appreciated how hard it would be. But hoping it'll get better!

I just read back you are all going through the same things as me! My baby girl is 9 weeks today! She doesn't do a 💩explosion until every 3-4 days...took her shopping today and she decided today was the day while we were out and the change area was in the ladies so dh got away with it 🙈And this was in the Chinese restaurant. We ate our main meal in the day because she's calmer in the day evenings are touch and go with her wind/colic ect.

I'm formula feeding and I'm really proud of you all for breastfeeding. It didn't work out for me as you know about my little one starting out a little poorly. I did feed her twice from my boob and it felt lovely to feel her drinking from me such a bonding experience but dh loves feeding her with her formula and she absolutely loves her bottles!

I'm using dr brown bottles, colief and infacol. She gets trapped wind so we tried a tiny amount of gripe water this evening she seemed to calm down after it bless her, is there a good way of syringing it in her though? I used my calpol syringe but it just seems so mean! I'm no good at administering anything to a baby Iv never done it before she was coughing think it scared her.

I'm not breastfeeding but doing so bad on my water intake too absolutely awful I'll be lucky to finish a bottle of water from my drink flask 😬dh works away mon-fri so i go it alone looking after the baby it's hard but we get through the week.

@BeHereNowx32
You are doing and have done so well but if it's affecting your mental health then stop your baby won't mind she's got everything she needs 💕xx

@cannonball8726 your words are so true. I really think it’s hormones/ lack of sleep making me this unhappy. Need to get things into perspective.

@Itonlytakesone don’t know such a small person can make such a mess! Haha. So good that you’re getting out and about. I’ve been too nervous with breastfeeding. Need to try get a little further and get out in the real world.
Do you think dr browns bottles help?

So... my baby has been asleep since 10:30!!! That’s nearly 5 hours straight. Just tried to dream feed her. She wouldn’t feed. My boobs are in so much pain.
She wouldn’t latch onto me all day. Was getting way too upset. So had bottles all day. We done a little skin on skin and she kept latching and popping off me. Obviously I cried because I knew it’s the end of breastfeeding for us. And now I can’t even sleep because I’m sitting with the hand pump! Haha
I know I will feel better physically so hopefully I will mentally too.
Thank so much for all your support! Xx

My baby is still sleeping! I managed to feed her this morning but she didn’t wake up. Just changed her nappy and tried her with a bottle but she refused it and is back asleep. So, was only awake 5 mins.
I’m still awake and haven’t stopped crying. I don’t know what’s going on in my head. I really want to just spend today doing skin on skin and not seeing anyone else.
We do have family visiting though....
Could this be hormones making me this emotional and unsure? I really should have had a full nights sleep 😞😞

Hope everyone else is feeling more stable than me! Xx

@BeHereNowx32

I'm so glad your baby is sleeping better and now you've decided or nearly have to stop breastfeed I'm sure you will start to feel better about things, get more sleep and get out and about more. You've done so well to do it for this long and your daughter has had the benefits for all this time.

Your hormones will still be all over the place so don't be hard on yourself. Iv not got out and about too much yet only a couple of times when Iv had to give her a bottle out and about. yes i think the dr brown bottles help they are definitely worth a try anyway she drinks really well from them.

Hope you're doing better today x

@Itonlytakesone I will try those bottles, as little one seems to have lots of trapped wind now.
I didn’t breastfeed all day as I didn’t see the point, and then was out.
Now I’m sore and crying. This just messes with your head!!!
Going to speak to health visiter if I’m still like this over a few days. I definitely still have the baby blues 😔 xx

@BeHereNowx32
Aww it's ok i definitely felt like I was blue at first it was so hard at first on my own all week. You've had a lot to deal with breastfeeding and dealing with the physical pain you've been in. You can start to get your body back to normal soon.

Iv started going out with the pram more, aim for somewhere a distance away and get to it, it really helps to feel your legs doing some exercise and gives me a break from holding her so much the fresh air does us both good too....Just get those trainers on and go out tomorrow! 🏃🏼‍♀️💨

@BeHereNowx32 have you had a professional Lactation consultant come to you? They have community ones if you can't make the group. Not sure about that where you are though. Best of luck with whatever you decide. Stay strong. You've got this x

@HJ82 I really should speak to the health visiter. I just know I cry down the phone! Baby slept all night again. And I was in so much pain from engorgment. I tried using the hand pump a little. Then managed to feed her at 4:30. She woke every 1.5 hours after that, and I just kept feeding her myself. Everyone (even people I know who breastfed), are telling me it would be best to bottle feed. But I’m just so emotionally attached to feeding her myself...
I tried to do skin on skin with her, but she doesn’t want to be held! She screamed and screamed! 🙈🙈🙈

Everyone else doing ok? Am I just crazy for stressing about how I’m feeding baby all the time 🙈? Xx

Behere you're not crazy at all you're just on a massive learning curve that at times is extremely difficult to navigate.
Florence is having one of those days aswell she keeps crying for seemingly no reason and all my attempts to try and soothe her just seem to annoy her more and then she'll stop and settle for 40 mins or so before starting again. I'm going to take her out in the pram in a bit to see if that makes her a bit happier.
Have a chat with your health visitor and don't worry about crying down the phone, you'll not be the first nor the last xxx

@TheArtfulScreamer1 hope Florence like the walk and it calms her. I am feeling more positive today. And gave been breastfeeding more 💗

She was fine on the walk but started again when we got back in so it's been pjs on and bed for her, it was her dad's 30th and her christening this weekend so we've had a really busy weekend and I think she's just knackered and over tired

@TheArtfulScreamer1 hope Florence liked the walk and it calms her. I am feeling more positive today. And gave been breastfeeding more 💗
Sofia has her immunisations today. Been sleeping so much. Just hope she doesn’t suffer. How was other babies for their jags? Xx

My baby's jabs are on Thursday I'm scared it will ruin our routine and we are going away on Monday for 4 night trip. How are they after jabs 💉 ?

@BeHereNowx32
Glad you are feeling more positive 👍🏻 some days are much better than others

Baby has been ok so far after jabs. She slept loads yesterday, and had a loose nappy.
She did wake every 2 hours during night. Could be because she didn’t feed as much during the day because she slept so much. I also breastfed her more than giving bottles... I know, I’m changing my mind all the time. Lol. I was just so worried about engorgment xx

@BeHereNowx32

Ok thanks well I'll be ready for her to be a bit off and maybe a bad belly after them. I had sore breasts when i stopped breastfeeding it didn't last long though your body is amazing at sorting itself out i was back to normal in a couple of days i was worried about infection (mastitis) but i was fine.