BFP after IVF: nervous ladies needed a handhold Part II

[gingergnome]

Hi everyone,

Think that the last thread for this topic reached its limit, so have started a new one.

Good luck to everyone who has finally got that longed for BFP!

This is a place for everything that comes after the 2WW: celebrating milestones, being (cautiously!) excited, symptom checking, worrying, sharing advice, commiserating bad news, generally keeping each other going, and willing each other along on our way to the 12 week mark.

A bit about me: 39 y/old, 0 DC, IVF ICSI cycle 1, first BFP since TTC, currently 6+0.

Look forward to meeting lots of people with new BFPs and sharing your journey!


Tagging in some ladies from the old thread,
@itonlytakesone
@TheArtfulScreamer
@cannonball8726

[BeHereNowx32]

@HJ82 yeah, Sofia is definitely showing preference of bottle over breast now, at 12 weeks. I don’t think I regret the way things have turned out. She was a major cluster feeder. On me allll the time. But I do wish that I could have enjoyed the early feeding. I was too stressed and hormonal. Now I enjoy it, she doesn’t want it! 🙈 keep up the good work. I have lots of respect for you!

@TheArtfulScreamer1 I need to pay attention to time! Because we have a prep machine I can make a bottle so fast! But not so helpful when out!

Does anyone question themselves as a mum? I feel ok now when I’m home on my own. But as soon as I’m around other people (mainly my mum) I feel so insecure. I let other people take over looking after and holding her. Even making decisions about how to look after her. Then I don’t look like I know what I’m doing! I put myself down so much 😢

I honestly do enjoy being a mum. Hope people don’t think I’m a moan! Xx

[cannonball8726]

@crittertamer congratulations!! Sounds like a stressful birth. How are you all doing now?

@HJ82, @beherenow32 @theartfulscreamer how are you all?

My little girl is now almost 3 months old. She's sleeping more although i guess that will change after 4 month sleep regression! Breastfeeding is going well despite rocky early start. I just hate feeding in public! Anyone thinking about having another baby?!

[CritterTamer]

@cannonball8726 - thank you! Yes we had a rough start but are all doing well now 😊 I started counseling for PTSD today so I'm hoping that will help with the issues I've been having since the birth. BF the twins is very hard and I'm doing my best but just can't supply enough to satisfy both all of the time so we are adding formula top ups. I'm lucky that they accept breast and bottle fine, and also just keep reminding myself that I'm lucky to be able to BF at all as I was warned after the delivery that it was likely I wouldn't be able to due to the amount of blood and hormone loss I had. I've made my peace with needing the formula now - the important thing is that they are fed and growing 😊 interestingly I also feel like I want to be pregnant again and have another baby, but I'm not sure if that's due to unresolved issues surrounding the sudden early and traumatic delivery so will wait and see. We won't do IVF again anyway and it's unlikely we'd conceive naturally I guess so it doesn't really matter.

@BeHereNowx32 - I know what you mean, I question myself all the time - especially when I'm dealing with one crying baby and the other is screaming for attention I can't give! My MIL had been stayed with us for a week or so and it was a half of wills as she refused to do things the way we are advised to do, like not putting them to sleep on their sides, not using talc, not keeping them to hot, feeding on demand, etc. As she was doing everything 'old school'! She did make me feel inadequate really but the health visitor says I'm doing amazing so I'm trying to believe in that 😊

I'm really glad everyone else is doing well and enjoying being mummies. I keep in touch with the new mums from our NCT group and find out a really helpful support group.

[cannonball8726]

@CritterTamer I'm not surprised you have PTSD after your birth. It sounds really hard. You also had an eventful pregnancy so have really been through the mill. I'm glad that you're home now. How are the twins? Are they doing well? How many weeks old are they now? I have no idea how you're managing to breastfeed twins! It's hard enough to get one baby into position! Do you feed them at the same time? Definitely most important for you to be well and happy and I'm glad combination feeding is going well. How do you feel physically? Do you feel you are starting to recover?

I honestly think that difficulties with breastfeeding made me feel so down in the first few weeks. My baby was in NICU for the first week and I had lost a lot of blood during birth so my supply was rubbish. I felt pretty depressed. But I had good support from the local breastfeeding group who helped me a lot when we were home. I'm really grateful to them.

I think we would like to have another baby but not sure when we will get back on the IVF wagon. This time last year I was on long protocol and was just about to start stims. It's crazy knowing that the result of that cycle is here now. I feel so lucky and grateful to have her :)

Hugs to all of you ladies. It's been a tough year (and more with infertility). It's amazing to have our little ones here and well xxx

[CritterTamer]

@cannonball8726 - yes thank you I am feeling much better now, the pain is almost gone and in far more mobile (and driving again! 😁). The twins are just over 7 weeks old now and doing really well. Tandem BF is extremely hard, and requires exact positioning or is extremely painful - I do it occasionally but only if they happen to wake for feeding at exactly the same time!

I was thinking the exact same thing yesterday about this time last year -we'd just found it or first round of IVF had failed and I was in a dark place - what a difference a year on! We are all so blessed to be the lucky ones who had successful IVF eventually xxx

[BeHereNowx32]

Hi!

@cannonball8726 so nice to hear from you! Sounds like you’re doing fab! Great news that baby is sleeping and feeding well. 🥰

@CritterTamer sounds like you’re doing an amazing job too! I guess with twins you just get thrown into it all and have to get on with it 😂 yeah, all the advice is different now. So, it can make you overthink our own parents’ advice.

I am in so much more of a better place now! Love being a mummy. We are in a good routine and enjoy getting out and about.

I am breastfeeding at this second 👏 but my baby is mainly bottle fed , due to her refusal of breast, and my supply dropping. I can usually get her to feed last thing at night or first thing in the morning. I just love these times so much.

She was a good sleeper... but not at 4 months it’s been pretty bad 😂😂 not sure if I should be teaching her to self soothe, but don’t want her crying. So, I don’t leave her.

Nice to hear from you both x

[BeHereNowx32]

Oh and we have 2 frozen embryos, which I feel I would need to try one day. But it definitely isn’t the right time now! I’m not sure when.
I did find the new born stage very stressful... but think I would regret just not trying. X

[BeHereNowx32]

We are very lucky to have our babies 🌈

[CritterTamer]

@beherenowx32 in glad you're enjoying Doug done breastfeeding. Combination feeding is working well for us too as I just can't always supply enough for both twins but remember that every BF they get is giving them all those lovely antibodies, and as long as they're growing well it really doesn't matter if they are m needing formula too.
We also have two embryos frozen, but I don't think that DH will be up for spending another £1800 to thaw and transfer them ☹️ he's not convinced that a third is a good idea at all!

[BeHereNowx32]

@CritterTamer yeah, combo feeding does work well. Love seeing my baby’s chunky thighs 😍😍
Were those embryos from nhs or self funded cycle? I have no idea how much we would need to pay since it was self funded.
Give it time. He might change his mind once things settle. Shame it costs so much for hospital to store them tho! Xx

[TheArtfulScreamer1]

Just having a quick catch up whilst Florence naps glad everyone seems to have settled into their own rhythms and is enjoying motherhood. I think Florence is having a growth spurt she's feeding more or less every 90 mins day and night. I cracked at half 3 this morning and had DH give her a bottle as I needed more than an hours sleep and she did sleep until 6 but I'm still shattered. I just try to remind myself she'll not be a baby for long and to make the most of the snuggles.
DH and I have one Frostie which we'll probably use next year after I've gone back to work but in the meantime we aren't using contraception although our love life is so far on the back seat it's in the boot

[BeHereNowx32]

@TheArtfulScreamer1 I think the 4 month sleep regression is very real!
You’re so right though. It will be hard for you, but definitely best to look back on it in a positive way. I appreciate every time I can BF now. 💕

Talking about a “love life” that is honestly the last thing on my mind! 😐 hopefully things settle

People asking me about going back to work... I really don’t want to go back! 😔 is everyone feeling the same? I still have 5 months, but hoping to extend this.... and would love to keep extending it lol
Xx

[HJ82]

Hi everyone
Lovely seeing your updates! I'm joining to formula top up party over here! Anya isn't a very good sleeper during the day and like you @BeHereNowx32 she's constantly on me. I've been giving her 2 bottles a day when she's not satisfied or I need to get her asleep. She doesn't seem to fill on the boob in the early evenings. And sometimes the middle of the night 😣 It's such a guessing game isn't it?! Anyway she sleeps well and for 3hrs after a bottle. I just really hope I can get my supply up because they're a pain to make and I stupidly have been adding the powder lower than 70 degrees as it didn't mention that on the instructions 😭 now I'm shitting myself that I could make her very sick! I'm sure she will be fine. Def know how to correctly prep now 😬 I know adding formula to her feeds is bad news for supply but I always offer breast first as long as I can but I can't keep her awake for hours trying to fill her with breast. Poor darling. I'm going to see a Lactation consultant Thursday anyway.

Are you all combi feeding?

[BeHereNowx32]

@HJ82 it’s such a shock how much they need to feed, isn’t it? Don’t worry about using formula atm, especially if you are seeing someone to give you guidance. I didn’t do that. I gave into the pressure and gave baby more and more formula later on, and didn’t even worry about my supply until it was too late. Hope they can help you.

I think I would prefer to breastfeed BUT it does make life easier using formula. And Sofia is thriving so much. She is just amazing and I am focusing on this!

I take fenugreek, but don’t think enough, only one or two a day.

Let us know how the lactation consultant goes though. 😊 xx

[HJ82]

@BeHereNowx32 are you breastfeeding at all now? I'm ok doing both but I don't want to lose my milk. Happy with 80/20 🙂

[BeHereNowx32]

@HJ82 I breastfeed last thing at night, and first thing in the morning. I do try to breastfeed during the night too, and mostly she settles ok, but sometimes I end up make a bottle, because she’s will not go back to sleep!!! 😂
When she stopped breastfeeding during the day, my hormones crashed I was an emotional wreck! I feel ok now though.

80/20 would be great. All the best! Xx

[HJ82]

@BeHereNowx32 I'm struggling with the prep. First I mixed it to low temp. Then I mixed it 70-80deg and put in fridge. Now I'm reading it must be cooled before putting in fridge 🤪 and some say you can't leave for more than 16hrs in fridge but others say 24 and others say make up as you go!? I'm not leaving baby to cry for 35-40 mins while I prepare a bottle 😭

[BeHereNowx32]

@HJ82 you can boil the kettle, and leave that for 30 mins to cool, then mix in the formula. To cool the bottle quicker put it into cold water, or under the cold tap. Or you can keep boiled water in a flask, and that will keep it at the right temp for mixing.
You’re not supposed to boil then put into the fridge. I’m not sure why though!

We do use the prep machine... which isn’t recommended and wouldn’t be any use to you with only a few bottles.

Or there’s ready made cartons if you were just doing a couple of bottles.

At least breast milk is the right temp straight away! Xx

[TheArtfulScreamer1]

@HJ82 we do Florence one bottle of formula a day (last feed of the day) occasionally two and we prep it by mimicking the perfect prep machine, so at approx tea time (6pm ish) I fill a bottle with fresh boiled water which I cool in a jug and then place in the fridge, then when she starts to stir for a feed (usually around 10pm) but before she fully wakes we boil the kettle and measure 2 oz of fresh boiled water into a bottle we add 5 scoops of powder and give it a swirl to dissolve the powder (and kill any bacteria in the formula) we then add 3 oz of the prev cooled boiled water and voila a perfect temp ready to go bottle in a mere minute. Occasionally we may do another bottle in the early hours or DH may give her one in a morning if I'm having a rare lie in and we use the same bottle of cool boiled for this but it gets tipped away when I get up and the bottle gets sterilised with the other bottles and dummies every morning.

[BeHereNowx32]

@HJ82 hope lactation consultant goes well. I had an emotional night with baby no longer latching 😭 (except during the night, but for 2 hours and still drinking a bottle).

Need to to take my mind off feeding today. We’re going to soft play for the first time! What else do people get up to with baby? I was to start issuing more pressure sensory experiences at home x

[BeHereNowx32]

It’s not meant to say pressure there 🙄

[HJ82]

@BeHereNowx32 she's suddenly loving boob again without shields and everything 🤷🏼‍♀️ ah man I dunno these babies are weird. I'm still giving her 90mls if formula a couple of times a day if I need to and expressing whilst i do that. Hopefully if won't affect the BF long term. Consultant was good. Nothing I didn't know tho

[BeHereNowx32]

@HJ82 good news. I was toying with the idea of buying a pump to express, but really think it would hold stress me out even more 😬 enjoy all your feeding cuddles xx

[BeHereNowx32]

Hi again!

DD is waking every single hour 😔 it’s been like this for a month now.
Is anyone else experiencing this? I always feel ok (ish) the next day. But worrying that I’m doing something wrong, or it’s a phase she has to go through. Doesn’t matter if she breastfeeds or has bottles.

🙈🙈