BFP after IVF: any other nervous ladies in need of a handhold?

[wombats]

I've had my BFP after our first FET and in a bit of a state analysing symptoms/lack of symptoms. Had two losses prior to starting IVF so really can't get my head round what might be normal or not. Clinic will scan me at six weeks, but that is two very long weeks away! Anyone else in a similar position? xxx

@Beherenow32 @itonlytakesone - thanks for the support. Feeling much more philosophical and rational this evening. Pretty sure I can blame the hormones, right!? Who's bright idea was it to pump us full of drugs that have a side effect of anxiety right at a time when we are super anxious anyway?

@Beherenow - what lovely news, so pleased for you. Did you get a picture?

@beanhunter - no wise words, sending a hug and hope you get through this rough patch of anxiety. Those six week scans can't come soon enough!

Totally agree with you @ArtfulScreamer - I feel incredibly lucky with my relatively easy IVF journey (first time, short protocol) but it's still been tough. When I hear people who've been trying a few months before getting pregnant moaning about it... ugh!
When are you planning to tell your MIL?

@gingergnome yes, quite a lot of photos actually. She showed us different angles, the baby’s arms and feet buds, umbilical cord, yolk sac, placenta starting.
We weren’t allowed to record a video. But it was such a nice moment. Well worth the money if anyone is considering xx

Aww that must have been amazing for you 😍

@Beherenow32
Aww how special that you got to see your baby growing well today i hope mine goes ok at the end of August.
@gingergnome
glad you are feeling better it's so emotional isn't it, I didn't prepare myself for that part of ivf just had to be strong but all the worrying took its toll and still is!
@TheArtfulScreamer
Definitely all deserve our bfps, when are you telling the MIL? We've still not told anyone 🙊

I wish you ladies all the best, I know how tough this journey is and you deserve your happy endings. There's no happy ending for me this time unfortunately - I went to A&E last night and the EPU this morning and I've suffered a MMC. They think the baby died last week not long after my scan.

Of course I was away for work again so just travelling home now to be with my husband (and cat).

We have some Frosties but I just don't know whether I can do this again.

@ginandtonicformeplease I’m so so sorry. This is devastating news! Take the time to heal xx

Aww gin so so sorry to hear this we've all come some far and all deserve our happy endings, I hope at some point in time when you're ready you get your happy ending to. Be kind to yourselves

For reasons that gin has just brought home we don't intend to tell anyone until after the 12 week scan and ideally the 20 week scan if I aren't showing to much. MIL isn't a bad person she's just very egocentric and thinks the world revolves around her and her wants and needs, I on the other hand don't and this leads us to clash from time to time. I know when we do tell her she feel put out we've not told her sooner and will make it all about her.

Oh @ginandtonicformeplease I am so very, dreadfully sorry to hear this.
Wishing you a very speedy and safe journey back to your loved ones. xx

@ginandtonicformeplease

Oh no this is terrible news I'm so sorry 😞and so close to 12 weeks too, it's just not fair. I would be thinking, it's your body's clever (but cruel) natural filter to get you a healthy baby so it just wasn't meant to be this time. So so upsetting though after all the hard work.

After a little break you must use your Frosties poor things, you can't leave them! You will know when the time is right. Have a well earned break.

Can you get a second opinion on your mmc just incase?😕

I'm so sorry @Ginandtonicformeplease. That's horrible. A miscarriage after IVF seems even more cruel. :(

I agree - use your frosties. You've gone through so much to get here. Don't give up now when there is hope. Hope you get home soon.

@ginandtonicformeplease I’m so sorry to hear your news. I had a mmc year at 12 weeks and it broke me. Time has helped but I still grieve that baby.
Take time. Be kind to yourself. Don’t make any hasty decisions either way. Eat chocolate. Drink wine. Have a holiday. And then regroup and see what feels right. Happy to chat if it helps at all xx

I think I may come off this thread just now. I feel so awful after my news that something so bad hasn’t happened to someone else. ☹️ I’m worrying that it’s insensitive.
I’ll pop on to see how everyone else gets on with scans.

@ginandtonicformeplease I’m sending you lots of love xx

Had happened *

Thanks for your support everyone - it really helps.

@Beherenow32 it's not insensitive, it's the way it goes. I was incredibly lucky to get so many frosties on our first cycle, and to get a BFP on the first transfer. This just wasn't my time. I've found this thread incredibly supportive and useful and would hate for you to leave it.

Good luck everyone

@Beherenow32 obviously you need to do what feels right for you.

I might be out of turn saying this but, for me, part of what makes BFPs after IVF so scary is we all know the bad side of things is more likely to strike for us. I like knowing you’ll all be here for me and understand if I get bad news after any stage of this. I know when I see bad news I am genuinely gutted for that person. The flip side is, I’m also genuinely happy for everyone’s good news and seeing those stories gives me the positivity, the energy, and the strength to keep my own hopes up.

In short: I don’t think you’re being insensitive. The fact you think you might be shows how much you care about others on this shitty rollercoaster with you. I’m grateful for that 😘

I’m now bleeding. Guess I’m probably out too.

Not wanting to give you false hope @beanhunter but several women earlier in the thread had bleeds early on. Can you get to a hospital for a scan?
Keeping my fingers crossed for you x

*they had bleeds and stayed pregnant

I’m on holiday in South Africa. Fly back Friday night.

@beanhunter
Are you ok?😕you must be so worried i hope everything is ok?

@Beherenow32

I understand why you would want a break from this thread but i don't think you should, i, like ginger have found it incredibly supportive since having my bfp and know i can ask anything and someone always helps me. If any of us get bad news it's a really good place to go to for impartial advice and you have supported gin&tonic. I hope you still follow and feel you can help and advice of you need to.

@ginandtonicformeplease
Hope you are ok tonight i think you are being so strong and with ivf that's the only way to be, we will all get there in the end and appreciate our little babies in an extra special way when they eventually come to us. Iv been a bit down tonight because of your news thinking how fragile all our situations are. Nothing we can all do but stay positive and have hope 😕

Thank you all for your kind words. 💗 I would still like to pop on and chat etc.
Thinking of you all, and so sorry for the upsetting news xx

Morning!

Got my fingers crossed for you @beanhunter

Well, it feels outside the mood of the board after yesterday but I'm going to post some good news...

Just had my scan and at 5+6 all is well - we have a bean with a heartbeat and its measuring slightly over at 6+0 or 6+2 depending where they put the probe!

Slightly less good news: I have had a small internal bleed and my ovaries are still very swollen with one having developed a cyst but apparently the clinic aren't worried. They didn't explain what any of it means or if there might be any knock-on effects. I am sure this will fuel obsessive Googling over the next few days but for today I am going to relax!

Hope everyone else is doing okay today x

@gingergnome

Glad your scan went well. Unfortunate about the bleeding on your ovaries? Iv had pains on my left ovary since ivf, joys of our way of becoming pregnant.

Iv not been feeling very well since yesterday all of a sudden bad nausea i feel so horrible Iv read week 9-10 is particularly bad? Anyway it just hit me all of a sudden and all Iv wanted to do is hide on the couch or in bed until it's passed 🙁

How is everyone else? We've still not heard from bean, hope she is ok