ivi chester

[red1hen]

Anyone any experiences of treatment at ivi chester? Just been referred for IVF there. Told i should have first appointment within 6 weeks!!! Would be great to chat to anyone who's having/had their IVF there too!

Or within 10 minutes sometimes!

It is a nightmare getting through, but equally they are pretty good at ringing back. It's a nuisance as I'm not meant to have phone on me at work and often end up having too. Even then I still manage to miss their call backs!.

I'm doing ok. Had a phone call from bereavement yesterday out of the blue. Going to have communal cremation service in blacon next week. X

I'm terrible with phone calls- I really don't know why. But I also don't always think calling the nurses for things like booking appointments is right- they are already so busy. In the end I called the number I found on the Care letter and got an appointment for next week. I was so surprised. But at the same time terrified at starting the next round of IVF. I'm convinced that there is something terribly wrong with me after the FET was such a disaster.
It's good to hear you're doing ok wanab. I hope that the service will help you with dealing with everything that has happened. Xxx

So today I had to face a reality I had been avoiding for sometime and I'm just not sure what I should do! I have been with my partner for five years this Christmas. He has two sons but unfortunately only sees one of them. He is a great father to his son and is supportive of all his needs. I love him too as if he was my own. He calls me his stepmum even though we are not married and his mum and I get on really well and she is fine with this. Although I feel guilty sometimes but we are all a great unit and work together, the total opposite of my own life experience. My DSS is the most loving kind cheeky boy with a heart of gold. I have loved watching him grow up before my eyes, even though life is challenging for him and his autism. I am very blessed to have my little family.

The thing is we started trying for a baby from about six moths of getting together with no luck. I had surgery three years ago and they checked to see if everything was working OK. They informed me one of my felopian tubes was redundant but that I could still get pregnant with the other and to keep trying. We have been and still no pregnancy. In the last eighteen months I have been under emense stress with almost losing both my parents to heart attacks and stage 4 stomach cancer. It has had an awful effect on my health emotionally and physically. The main one is my hormones are all over the place and the last eight months having irregular painful periods and have just been diagnosed with cysts in my breasts. I feel a mess. I have been advised by my doctor the only option available to control the horome imbalance is birth control!! One small pill a day would take away all the suffering I go through each. Month in the pursuit of being a mother again... Yes that's right I did say again. I can conceive. I had a daughter when I was 19 but sadly she died of cot death at seven weeks old. My world fell apart and I became a functioning drunk. I said I would never have children going forward... Too painful. Too hard! And I lived by my words, never meeting anyone who I felt safe enough to even discuss children, that was until I met my now partner. With him I got sober and got my act together and became the person I should have been all along. Now I yearn to be a mum! I think a lot of this is to do with my DSS and the bond we have and how much I realised I missed out on and the huge love I have to give. Time is not on my side as I turn 40 in three months. My question is should I take the pill and rid myself of the monthly pain and disappointment and except that I will never be a mum or to continue and hope for the best.

Thank you for sharing your story Emmiloops. I'm sorry to hear about all the difficulties in your life. I think you are amazing to have overcome so much and it is great to hear that you have now have such a lovely family unit. For me it would be impossible to advise you on this but I really understand what you mean with having difficulties with your hormones due to such high levels of stress. I lost my mother last year and it has had a huge effect and going through infertility at the same time often felt impossible. The only thing that helps me is that I know how much my mother would want me to succeed and to try to manage my stress through exercise and relaxation techniques. I would advise you to go back to your GP (perhaps try to see a different doctor). There might be a different solution to deal with your pain or improve it by stress management. And if you have been trying for so long they really should refer you back to a specialist. Sorry that I cannot be more helpful but good luck with everything xxx

Hi @Emmiloops. Such a tough situation for you, but a decision only you can make. You probably would be able to get ivf but privately if it was something you wanted to pursue to increase the chances of conceiving. It's not an easy journey or a quick fix and perhaps additional stress on top if what you already face. Wish you lots if luck whatever you decide. X

Hi everyone, just after a little advice please. I’m currently having treatment in Chester at care fertility and the Countess. I’m at the stage where I have chosen a donor (from America). Now I have been given a limit of £1000 to use and I was of the understanding that it included everything. Now care fertility have paid for the sperm but not the shipping and taxes from America. I don’t mind paying the extra but wanted to know if anyone knew what NHS funding does and doesn’t cover. I’ve looked at the CCG policy for where I live and it says nothing? Any advice would be great, been trying to get this sorted for the last month and every time it seems everything is going right there is another hurdle to overcome.

Hi @pinkdeedee I was very interesting to read your post but I am afraid I haven't got an answer. We are currently ordering but we were told we were only able to find something within the UK. We found a great donor for our first round and we wanted to do the same for the upcoming treatment (our last funded by the NHS) but it is turning into a real disaster. We were not told there was a £1000 limit, our current order has apparently been rejected by the Countess but we have not heard anything from them. So we have no idea what happened and how to proceed. I would be absolutely gutted if we can't proceed this month with IVF.
I vaguely remember being told about ordering from the US but our understanding was that you had to pay for everything as NHS funding wouldn't cover this. Maybe this has changed recently. It makes sense because it is almost impossible to find a good match in the UK.
I really share you frustration. We are really finding this part so stressful and are currently having sleepless nights. Xxx

Hi @Matilda128, it is so frustrating!! I think originally NHS funded patients weren’t able to order from America but the policy was changed a few months ago and we’ve not been rejected. Both consultants, nurse, embryologist and business manger have all agreed to our order. I don’t know if it has anything to do with me being CMV -ve and there being no suitable donors available it England for us to use. The problems we have been facing have been what the funding includes, communicating with America (due to time differences) and obtaining invoices in pounds and not dollars as this makes a huge difference on the price of sperm!!! Fingers crossed you get to start ASAP. We were hoping to start months ago but we got lost in the system and didn’t have our appointments booked and were given the wrong consent forms!!! Hoping to start in January (that if I can get the sperm into England!!!) xx

That really sounds like a nightmare @pinkdeedee It is stressful enough without having to deal with all those problems! And I can't believe you got lost in the system- how frustrating! I think the Countess is wonderful in delivering treatment but in terms of communication, organisation and treatment cancellation- they are terrible. It took us more than a year to finally get started- we have had 4 appointments cancelled, I had to spend 2 months arguing over booking a hycosy, blood tests were missed and a FET was cancelled. This issue with the Donor is not really them but it is the bank in London that has decided to raise prices without telling us. But like you I am CMV- so it will be so difficult to find someone else. I'm not the best person with stress anyways so for the last two days I haven't been able to sleep.
I really hope things will work out for you soon and that you can start as soon as possible. And that those extra shipping and taxes costs are not too high as that wouldn't be fair at all! Xxx

Hi everyone, thought I’d just update you all, especially anyone who has NHS funding. So turns out my funding covers everything up to a price of £1000 and it was an invoicing error from America!!! Hopefully this is the last hurdle we have to overcome this month!!! Thank you @Matilda128 and anyone else for listening to me rant!!! Me and my partner don’t have anyone we can discuss this all with because no one knows we’re having IVF!!! So it gets a little stressful when we only have each other to talk to and we just want to let off some steam xx

I am more than happy to listen @pinkdeedee But just to take the opportunity to rant myself- we still haven't heard about our case and have no idea what will happen. I called with the first day of my cycle in the hope we could get started but we were told that without a sample on site we are not allowed to start (even though the treatment would only be at the end of the month). I feel so low. I cannot face another weekend without information. I cannot deal with having to wait another month especially because I am convinced there will be another reason it will be delayed and cancelled. I am too old anyways. I cried most of today and we are now talking about stopping all together. I just cannot cope anymore. Xxx

They got back! I'm so relieved. Still not the best of news but at least it looks like we don't need to find a new donor. It may go ahead this cycle- fingers crossed. We always found that the embryologist at the Countess are the best, so I'm so happy to hear that while I was panicking these last few days, they were working on solving the issue. What a nightmare- IVF never seizes to amaze. I'm not sure how I am going to convince myself that carrying on is the right thing to do (I was so certain that I just couldn't cope anymore) but my rant is officially over- thanks for listening xxx

@Matilda128 we were told the same thing, we couldn’t start until the sperm is at the Countess which is why we’re having to start in January (also due to shut down of the labs). I feel your pain of not knowing and know being kept in the loop. It drives me insane that I’m not in control. I just have to keep reminding myself it will start one day, especially because of all the set backs and delays we’ve had we’ve just stopped getting our hopes up until we’re called into the clinic again. It is definitely a slippery slope especially when your at the point of wanting to call it a day. Have you spoken to any of the nurses or a councillor? xx

Thanks for getting back @pinkdeedee I totally agree with the control thing- it really makes me anxious. In 'normal' life I am a pro-active problem solver. IVF can make me feel so helpless- I try to call and email and find answers- but most of the time you have to just wait and hope for the best. I'm struggling with trusting the clinic and I think my persistence is not making me very popular with the staff. Because of my age I am also feeling I am running out of time so fast. I'm just completely loosing it with the stress- it's just horrible. I also think having to use a donor makes things difficult. In terms of organisations but also certain aspects of the process. I have never had to do so many pointless pregnancy tests in my life- even when I explain and insist that there really isn't any possibility at all.
Because of the Donor we had to speak to the councillor when we started. She is absolutely wonderful and I spoke with her a couple more times after my early MC. I will probably try to speak to her again and continue with this slightly strange IVF mindfullness app I found.
Is your sample on site or on its way? My treatment would start at the beginning of January. Last time I was so relieved when I could finally start the injections. I'm sure you will be able to start soon! Xxx

Wishing you all a lovely Christmas ladies, let's hope 2020 is our year!!xx

Merry Christmas @PennyBC26 . I hope you have a lovely day. And yes, let's hope 2020 will be a great year! Xxx

Hope the thread has had a good Christmas!

I have been struggling a bit to be honest, it is not my favourite time of year as it is, but I've struggled more then usual this time. I did come down with flu which probably didn't help!

Has anyone else had a difficult time?

I feel like such a Debbie Downer, but it's another Christmas/NY not pregnant or with a new baby. The last few Christmases I've been more positive 'it'll be our year' 'it'll be our turn'. The possibility of 'next Christmas' etc etc.

This year I feel like I'm heading into another year of failure .

We've a follow up appointment on the 20th January, hopefully the 2 blasts which have been sent of for testing come back as good. I'm not in a positive frame of mind - so I'm already expecting bad news 😭.

I think this will be the last year of trying....I reached that conclusion at least.....

@CurlyTwirlyTwos Ah so sorry you are feeling down. Like you, I've been saying the classic words "It'll be our year next year", I'm trying to keep positive but it isn't easy! It seems everywhere we go their are families, babies, baby showers and pregnant women! I've got to the point now where I have to grit my teeth and count to 10! Fingers crossed that you get good news about your embryos. I've got one frostie and hoping to start my cycle in January. I've not prepared for it like last time, I've drank too much and eaten all
the wrong foods over Christmas but it didn't work being good last time! Are you on instagram? There is a massive IVF community on there and I find it a great help! xx

Sorry to hear you are having a difficult time @CurlyTwirlyTwos I think I have been having a similar kind of Christmas. My sister in law just had a baby which is wonderful but also made everything a bit harder. And my mum died last year just before Christmas and for some reason this year it was much more difficult to deal with missing her than last year (I think it was all just a blur back then). It helped that I'm starting treatment soon although I'm not feeling very hopeful after last round. I know it sounds bad but sometimes I feel that I use my negativity to protect myself. If I focus on the worse - the outcome may be slightly better than expected or I have been somewhat prepared for disappointment. It may not be the most productive way of looking at it but I'm now just accepting that this is my way of dealing with the horror of Ivf.

It would be great if you get news that your embryos tested normal! Good luck! Hang in there! Xxx

Thanks @Matilda128 and @PennyBC26 - you guys have some wise words! It's easier to accept them from someone else than yourself!

There have been so many babies and pregnancies this year, another 2 friends have disclosed that they are going to try 'for no.2' in 2020 😭 - I have this feeling that I'll be the only one who won't get pregnant again this year. It feels so futile.

On some days, I can count to 10 and get on with life, and other days it's much harder.

I think the season/time of year has me a lot more sensitive than usual.

Thanks for reading and responding guys, I don't feel so alone xx

(O - I am on Instagram @PennyBC26, but I don't follow any IVF accounts. It's an ocean - do you have recommendations?)

You are definitely not alone!!! Xxx

@CurlyTwirlyTwos I've set up a TTC account, I'd be lost without it, so much support and advice out there! Profile is penny (underscore) 4 (underscore) luck. For some reason it won't let me underscore on here! Also, Cheater has been taken over by Care and they do lots of patient support events like meet ups and a buddy system. I've enquirer about them and they should be setting them up in Chester soon too xx

Stalked you @PennyBC26

@CurlyTwirlyTwos 👌xxx