Thread 33 | TTC1 | From warm wombles to needles and exploding boobs - we've got it covered. Join us - we love to talk!

[Jamon]

Join me TTC1ers xx

Cheers kwick Christmas doesn’t help either, to be honest. I get that it’s a wonderful time for many people but for us, it’s just a reminder of what we’re missing out on. I’m a real humbug this year - can’t be arsed with any of it!

That’s good to know Jamon. I’m pleased it wasn’t too bad. All being well I’ll start injections the day after Boxing Day.

Hope the HSG went well polka. I didn’t think it was too bad. More uncomfortable than painful.

We’ve just booked a long weekend in Cologne for February. It’s carnival weekend there from the 10th and we always go, but I thought because of my treatment, we’d give it a miss this year. We had a bit of a “fuck it” moment last night and booked up, trying to invoke the law of sod. If the treatment fails, we’ll have a crazy weekend and will drink our body weights in beer to forget about it. If the treatment works, I won’t care that I can’t go. Seems like a win-win.

Hello

Wondered if I could sneak in on this thread pretty please?

Sadly I recognise some faces from last year on other threads.

My story so far
TTC1
Cycle 17 cd6
I got a bfp back in may this year but sadly had a mc 7weeks later. I'm not sure if that means I'm not eligible for this thread or not?

DH and I had started tests shortly before the bfp however it was via nhs. DHs SA came back inconclusive and during the 9 week wait for another appt we were successful.

Our current problem is that it's been 7 cycles since the mc and still not even a hint again. We are now not entitled to any fertility investigation as we have conceived naturally. We cannot afford to go private either.

I've been doing ok but I'm struggling this festive season as I remember being so excited this time last year thinking we get a positive soon. I also thought if we didn't I definitely have a new born by now. It's all shit.

Anyway hope you don't mind my intrusion just like to have some people in a similar situation to vent and try and laugh with.

Blissful lots of us on here have had losses, you are more than welcome (although sorry you have to be in this club) and sorry to hear about your MC.

Welcome @Blissfulignorance sorry for your loss. I haven't had a full miscarriage but I have had a chemical pregnancy after my second ivf cycle. They're a great bunch here so hopefully can offer some support.

Hi Blissful and welcome! I’m sorry that you find yourself here, but everyone is lovely on this thread and it does help to share. All this can be very isolating at times.

Sorry to hear about your mc. I don’t know whether you experienced similar but what really stung for me was well-meaning people (both family, friends and medical folks) telling me that we’d conceive again no problem and I’d be super fertile after mc. It was all meant with the best of intentions but completely messed me up when nearly a year later, we’d still had no luck. I think this heaped more unnecessary pressure on us, too.

I’m sorry too that the help you were getting stopped. That seems really unfair. Have they said you’ll have to wait a year?

Hope it went well polka

Frau that is so exciting you start so soon. Hopefully you won't be going to cologne - or you will with a little bean on board

Hello blissful I recognise your name. So sorry you find yourself back here, I'm really sorry for your loss. You are absolutely more than welcome here. We are a little quieter these days but still going xx

It is my birthday today and I've been very lucky to spend it with DH in Boston. I'm sad that I'm 34 today and still not a Mum or pregnant - but I'm trying to be grateful for what I do have - and hope that 2018 is our year xx

Happy birthday @Jamon - glad you're somewhere fun to celebrate. As you say, still lots to be grateful for and hopefully one birthday closer to being pregnant and a mummy. Enjoy your day.

Thank you for the warm welcome ladies.

Happy birthday @Jamon I hope you manage to have a day full of smiles and laughter.

Happy belated birthday Jamon! Hope you had a lovely day and it’s nice that you were able to spend some time together. We’ve all just got to hope that our luck finally changes in 2018.

Thanks I hope i have to skip carnival this year, too! If the treatment works, I’m definitely better off at home. It’s not a place you want to be if you’re on the wagon, trust me!

Happy happy birthday @jamon - I love your PMA xxx

Hi blissful welcome - I'm sorry it's been a painful journey, but lovely to have some more company

First FC appointment today - feeling nervous, plus think AF is about to start. FML. In some ways, it'll be nice to be AF-free for Christmas itself, so won't be too sorry for myself surrounded by toddler nieces & nephews.

Happy belated Birthday Jam!

Quiet sorry about AF being imminent but FX for your clinic appointment, let me know how it goes - I'm waiting to hear when mine will be.

The bonus for me is there are no children in our family, youngest family member is littlest BIL who is 17!

Hello! Just wanted to join in because you all seem like lovely ladies and I think I've finally accepted that "normal" TTC forums are not for me. I swear if I have to hear about one more bfp followed by how long it's taken when really it's been 5 cycles (or less) I'm going to scream!

Anyway, I'm 27 on cycle 17 or 13 depending on how you count.. the first few were more ntnp so I feel like a bit of a fraud tbh. We've just had all our initial labs done (SA, bloods, and pelvic US all normal), first app with clinic scheduled for Jan 24.

Looking forward to cheering everyone on - seems like quite a few of you are doing IVF soon so hopefully 2018 brings lots of good news! 🤞🏻

Also, I'm such a pathetic loser, I've just cancelled my driving lesson with 15 mins to go as the thought of getting in the car is making me feel sick! When did I become such a spineless wimp?!

I think the next stage is to learn in an automatic, I know lots of people think it's a cop out but it could be the only way!

Flash you're not a wimp! Driving is a massive thing, and I'd would say hands down that London is the most stressful place I've ever driven, learning to drive there must be a nightmare. Just remember that your instructor is there to help you and they will only let you do what they think you are capable of. What's the worst that can happen!
Automatic is definitely much easier, less to worry about. I think automatics are becoming much more popular, maybe it's all anyone will be driving in 15 years time?!

Thanks wine, that makes me feel better.

DH used to have an automatic, and my mum has one. I really think it will remove so much of the stress and give me time to really concentrate on the road etc. I'm going to give myself a break until the new year, not worry about it or spend time feeling bad about it. And just crack on in January with my theory and with lessons.

Or driverless cars! That would be the dream, like your own chauffeur all the time!

You're not a wimp flash! I get nervous about driving too - like to think it just means I'm extra careful I think an automatic is fine - if it'll get you on the road, who cares. It's so much less stressful too, I agree. We borrow cars from family (insured, obvs) which are manuals, but confess am always relieved if we hire a car abroad and it's an automatic...makes it all manageable.

Had my appt at Guy's; the doctor was lovely, but was a bit of an anticlimax. Everything's normal, which means no IVF until 2 years where we are. Now booked for a HyCoSy for Feb, when DH is due to be away for work, so it doesn't feel like we're missing a chance as musn't be pregnant (HA! Good one...). Took urine and bloods to double-check rubella immunity and AMH levels for reference (for stimulating follicles further down the line for possible IVF). Other than that, advice was pretty much 'keep shagging'.

She was v up-front and did say the 'we're always told if you work and try hard you'll get what you want but not with this' thing which was understanding. Didn't think short or light periods were a problem, didn't recommend supplements or change in diet. Advised holding off private IVF for at least 6 months and seeing where we're at, given normal tests, age and there's no guarantee of success (think she'd have said differently if we were older)- plus two rounds means no NHS eligibility.

Had a slightly pathetic sob in the hall when I got home and spotting started. But it's fine really, a step forward and fx for better luck in 2018 (she reckoned higher fertility for 3 months post-HyCoSy). Just a shame my family's practically teetotal - could do with getting absolutely rat-arsed, frankly.

Sorry for essay, was just in case others (flash!) found it useful

And hello expat welcome welcome welcome! No such thing as fraudulent TTC here - it's shit; join us!

Thanks for the birthday wishes we had a lovely time 😁 And my new decoration has gone on the tree!

Welcome expatknitter! Do you live overseas?

Quiet well done getting your appointment done, these things aren't easy. It sounds like neither of you have anything wrong? Really hoping you get your BFP - possibly with a little hycosy help!

Welcome @expatknitter I found that period of coming to terms with all not being "easy" very difficult. 10-14 cycles in was probably the hardest of any point (I'm around cycle 30+ now and on third cycle of ivf) - my thoughts are with you and hope you're going to fall soon but if you are struggling, it's totally normal.

@geeup I think that's where I'm at. No one on either side of our family has struggled at all so I guess part of me is still so confused as to why it hasn't happened for us yet (esp after glowing labs so far) 😓

@Jamon Actually I'm American, moved to the UK 2 years ago to be with my husband 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Thought I knew a thing or two about patience from our long distance days.. this is so much worse lol

I totally get it @expatknitter it's so frustrating being unexplained (me and @Jamon are and probably a few others on this group too) and having no one to turn to that gets it. At that mark I was crying every day and massively distancing myself from all my Uber fertile friends. My DH and I were arguing over how many drinks were reasonable (at that point we suspected MFI but it hasn't turned out to be a problem) and whether we'd even consider IVF. It's a shitty time.
All I'll say is it does get better. Either you get pregnant or you come to terms with the waiting a bit. I found using a countdown app on my phone and counting down days and weeks to nice things we had planned (holidays, theatre trips etc) as well as the next consultations or tests really helped break down the endless waiting into more manageable chunks of time.
Also, please don't spend huge amounts of money and effort and drama trying more and more ridiculous miracle cures. We tried everything (supplements, softcups, lubes, every holistic therapy pretty much) and whilst I've carried on Zita west vitamins and Acupuncture, really if a bean wants to stick, it'll stick. Don't put your life on hold and do try and keep some spontaneity and vague excitement in your sex life. Your relationship is the most important thing in all of this.
Whoops sorry. Emotional download and venting over!!!

@geeup no thank you so much for writing that! You've plucked the thoughts straight out of my head - we never tried anything terribly expensive but have definitely relaxed the last few months with trying to get everything "right". Did softcups once and got a uti so that was fun 🙈

The biggest "life on hold" issue for me is planning a trip to the US - two babes have been born in the time since I left 😢 but I'm not ready to plan something that big yet - thankfully my mom is understanding. Definitely more domestic trips this year, hubby is Scottish but we lived in Northern Ireland until very recently so there's plenty to see and do 'round these parts 😊

Glad that appointment went well Quiet and you are in their system now so hopefully things should start to move more quickly.

Welcome Expat - we also have a very active WhatsApp group if you are interested in our fantastic banter on a constant basis?! Gee has given you some really good advice - as always.

Flash - driving is scary! My DH did one of those intensive courses a few years ago, he didn't pass at the end of it but did pass about a month after. Would you consider that?

Brilliant advice gee you manage to sum up so much of what I've been through and feeling too. I definitely had meltdown at 10-12 month point, had another low before starting IVF as part of me was still expecting to fall pregnant before treatment - almost as if I couldn't really believe we were actually going to do IVF. But like gee says there is an element of getting used to waiting - someone else said to me it's like everyone has to go through labour to have a baby - for whatever reason we have to go through this struggle before that part.

Expat we've been mentally planning a trip around Scotland for years and not made it yet! So many beautiful places to explore as you say

And yes to echo flora we have an open invitation to whatsapp group if anyone would like to join xxx

Afternoon ladies and welcome expat. I’m in the unexplained club too, and completely agree with what was said about distancing yourself from others. I’m still doing that now 2 1/2 years in. Keep thinking about which of my friends will be next and planning my reaction.

gee absolutely spot on what you said. It’s the acknowledgement that is one of the most difficult things. I still feel so resentful that I’m in this situation and I don’t think that will ever go away.

Just had my acupuncture appointment and cried all the way home in the car. It’s actually supposed to make you feel better! Still in a heap on the sofa at the moment. I’m normally such a private person and having to spill out all of this shit about how I’m feeling to a near total stranger is so tough and brought up loads of feelings that I normally keep well hidden. I opened up about how despondent I’m feeling about ivf and that I’ve had so many knock backs I just don’t believe that anything will ever come good. She told me that she conceived her son through ivf and has a friend who is expecting twins and although I know people mean well when they say things like this, it adds more pressure. I can’t shake the feeling of this not working and i really don’t think I’ve got any strength left to pick myself up again when it doesn’t.

I’m so sorry for the negativity. Just feel completely hopeless at the moment. . . I need Christmas to be over, I think! I hate this time of year with an absolute passion.