Thread 32 | TTC#1 | Making the move from conception to infertility. We've taken some blows but we are not beaten

[Jamon]

Hi all. We're a group of first timers who've been plugging away on the conception boards for some time. The support here is amazing so if you're in a similar boat please jump onboard.

Time to hand hold through treatments and support each other through to becoming the mums we deserve to be 💪🏼🌸🙏🏼

Oh PJs your poor hubby - and you. It must be a real shock getting these results - but hopefully as you say, now you know you can find a way to deal with it. It so frustrating they don't test for these kind of things earlier.

Jam so glad you are sorting things out - also where do I get a husband who bakes? It really is such a scary process and we put so much of ourselves into it, no wonder your husband is anxious about it all.

I am feeling miles better, and DH and I had a good heart to heart last night (plus the ultimate treat - takeaway pizza in bed!). I have been going a bit mental in the last few days - the final days before we start treatment feels so stressful and I have completely lost hope it will work so it all feels in vain anyway. Hubby was great and told me to think of it as a three cycle treatment, so if it doesn't work this time we're still moving forward, just not there yet. He's acknowledged he needs to make more time for me, and less time for work! We have been coping with it so well and communicating loads better before this week so I am hoping this is just a blip!

Hep that sounds painful - you need to get on the sofa and chill out tonight! x

Glad things are better jam. I got my DH to read that book too and think it really helped because it's a normal blokes point of view on it all, not just some scary consultant giving you facts and figures and bamboozling you with it all.

I think we've just got to think of IVF as a means to an end. I've been thinking about it a lot as this is our last cycle before we go and see the consultant to start it and seems like a lot of us are scared about it and obviously it's not something you want to do really is it but when I think of friends I know who've been through it, they don't ever say oh god yeah but having IVF was terrible, it was so bad, it's scarred me for life or anything like that...they all say I remember how shitty I felt when TTC and all my mates had babies etc, all the things we're all feeling so yeah, I'm just trying to think about it as a means to an end and not some big, scary thing (if that makes sense!)

That's what's shocked me the most jam - we now know that research has shown that up to 80% of couples with unexplained infertility have problems with sperm DNA. I so so wish we'd had this sooner, but we can't turn back time so it is what it is. More info here if you're interested! ivf.org.uk/investigations/sperm-dna/

We've got an appt with Mr Ramsey on 26th Oct - which seems ages away as we basically want it immediately, but hopefully it'll come round soon!

I went for my counselling session at the clinic today as well - it was fantastic and very well timed.

It's so crazy. It upsets me we've gone through two years of this crap because no one ever told us about it but so many people must be in the same boat. I reckon in years to come everyone will know about it but for now you're very very lucky to even get offered the test. Glad you counselling sesh went well, at least you're on right track now Hun

@Chlo22 and @Pyjamas81 do you know if it's true that if the fertilised egg has problems dividing etc in first 3 days it's the sperm, and if it's after that it's the egg? We seem to be ok at getting 5 day blasts but god knows what happens after that when they're inside me. Wish I knew what was unexplained about our unexplainness...

That’s exactly how I feel chlo - pissed off that some much time, money and tears was invested in two cycles that were very unlikely to work. But you’re right - at least we’re on the right track!

Hm I don’t know gee - I think it could be an egg or sperm issue at any time, but I could be wrong! Did your DH have the DNA frag test?

No he didn't @Pyjamas81 we considered it but when it fertilisation states we're so good we didn't progress it. Now I wonder if actually a sperm with fragmented DNA can in fact fertilise well but then fail at a later stage?

That’s what happened to us the first time gee - 5 out of 6 eggs fertilised which was fantastic, got a blast, but then obviously all failed at a later stage.

jamon I am so pleased with your update! I was thinking I might have to really stalk you and come round and give him a slap!!!

Oh God hep! That sounds painful!!

I paid £6.5k over to IVI UK today... on top of the €4.5k paid to IVI Spain a few weeks ago... that is a lot of chachinga but will be worth it in the end 🤞🏼

Hello lovelies (and thanks for the tag Jam!). I’m still here, following along and cheering you guys on. Nothing much to report from me, AF arrived today (totally expectedly) which means that next FW coincides with our wedding anniversary which will be nice.

Keeping everything crossed for those of you about to start treatments and really looking forward to seeing a strong of BFPs.

Pyjamas, I’m sorry about DH’s test results. Must have been such a shock for you but hopefully the specialist will be able to help and you’ll be setting yourself up perfectly for the next cycle.

Love to you all. I was hoping to be a last minute addition to the meet up tomorrow but my dad is coming out of hospital after a knee replacement so I need to help my mum get him settled at home.

It can gee. We had mc at 10 weeks so it can definitely fertilise and then fail later on unfortunately.

Hope you ladies have a lovely meet up tomorrow x

Oh god. I feel so confused now. Can they test our embryos for fragmentation? We have 4 on ice. I suppose if we do two in twice and nothing's still taken then we should do the fragmentation test. Or should we do the test now while we're going through the next two rounds?

Try not to worry too much gee - your situation may be totally different and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t have 4 healthy ones waiting. It’s a great sign for example that yours all make it to blastocyst - I only had one early blast the first round and have never had anything left to freeze so your situation is already different to mine. You could get the test done now and see - if there’s an issue, then you buy some time while you try with the four you have and DH can work on fixing it in the meantime. But please don’t panic lovely.

And hello kath! Sorry to hear about AF, but great that FW falls on wedding anniversary!

Thanks @Pyjamas81 I just so desperately want it to work and time is going sooooo slowly and some days I just feel so desperate and hopeless. I know you get it too so I don't mean to whine.
Today I'm CD1 predictably. Feeling hormonal and fat. DH away. Just wish someone could tell me that I do eventually get the family I want, and then I could just wait and be patient. It's just the "if" that kills me.

You’re not whining at all gee! Totally understand - we want this so badly and living with the constant unknown is the worst. Sorry about AF - make sure you look after yourself today xxxxx

Sorry for af gee - four frozen embyos is great!

Yesterday we bought a house! I feel somewhat crazy spending my savings on the deposit but I can make more savings and I know my family would help us with ivf funds too.

gee I am so with you on time dragging. This is such a long process and we've waited long enough!! If only you could get a quick glimpse of the future and know what's coming it would be so much easier - if you knew it was another 2 or 5 years you could get through it a lot easier!

Wow kerry congratulations that's great news - plus having a house is a massive investment in your future so sounds like a sensible move. And now you can enjoy decorating, getting settled in etc which will take your mind off this whole TTC business.

Hope you girls all meeting up today have a lovely day xx

chlo also that's so true about no-one going on about how terrible the IVF thing is - although I'm guessing it's a bit like labour and if you get a healthy baby you don't care about the pain it took to get there

Congratulations @KerryLeanne84 that's awesome news. What an achievement!

Yes it will take my mind off ttc. Thanks ladies!

Congratulations kerry! Having your own home is amazing. Sorry I have been a bit absent not sure really how much I can contribute but I an still here in the background.

Just sat on the train after meeting up with Pjs, jam and kwick. Was absolutely lovely meeting you all. I hope we can get together again soon.

Hello kath glad you’re still with us, hope your dad is recovering well

Congratulations kerry that’s very exciting 🏠

Big hug gee hope you’re doing okay

Such a lovely afternoon meeting basset kwick and pyjamas, you’re all so lovely 😊 another meet soon please and hope to meet more of you! Got to be one of the best things that’s come out of this tough old journey! And I hope in time we will be meeting with babes in arms 😁

Congratulations on the new house kerry!! how exciting!

Just back home after lovely afternoon meeting jam, kwick and bassett So much laughing. Let's definitely do it again and hope to meet more of you lovely lot too

Yay Kerry that's fab news!!! 🏠

Geeup, sending hugs. Xxxx

Ladies I'm so jealous the meet happened today. Blast me and my northern address lol hope you had a nice day.

I am embarrassing having A LOT of ewcm this cycle. I mean, I'm guessing it's a good sign but damn.

Also ladies. The film The snowman, just a warning it might be a potential trigger for some. Avoid if you're feeling delicate. It was a good film though.

And finally. Acupuncture... where do they put the needles? Will I be naked or in clothes and do I need to shave my legs 😂 I have my first appointment this Thursday.

I think I'll be ovulating between now and Wednesday. (Usually Tuesday cd16) and now worrying Thursday might be a weird one with ovulating this week.