Thread 32 | TTC#1 | Making the move from conception to infertility. We've taken some blows but we are not beaten

[Jamon]

Hi all. We're a group of first timers who've been plugging away on the conception boards for some time. The support here is amazing so if you're in a similar boat please jump onboard.

Time to hand hold through treatments and support each other through to becoming the mums we deserve to be 💪🏼🌸🙏🏼

just seems very frivalous....... I have never bought myself an advent calendar before.

We used to have re-usable cardboard ones when i was a kid.

but i'm sure i deserve it ?

You do deserve it Hep - I'm not into smellies very much, I'm the weirdest woman ever. I was looking at the lego Star Wars one for DH though. But as you say, seems frivolous...

No more pain today, think that part of it is over for another 26 days - 😓

It's not right when TTC revolves around "have i got enough pain killers and tampons" rather than "have I got enough pregnancy tests".

Oh mouse that is bad luck, especially your poor friend. You’ve been through an awful lot and the fact that you’re still here trying and being funny and supporting others shows how incredibly strong you are. Of course you can acknowledge what you’ve been through and let yourself grieve it. It’s not self indulgent or woe is me - it’s absolutely necessary and part of processing it all.

Thank goodness they’ve subsided skip. I wince reading about the pain you go through. I know I’ve asked this before but they have considered endo haven’t they? I think it’s notoriously difficult to diagnose isn’t it - do you have to have a laparoscopy. Although I could be jumping to conclusions - some women do just get really painful periods and there’s nothing more to it. Glad you’re over the worst of it xx

Loving hopeful twat territory - HTT is the new TWW! 😂 Really hope AF stays away flash. But good to have a plan to fall back on if this isn’t your cycle. Where are you off on your hols?

Quiet that’s great news about his SA, he just be relieved.

Good to see you hep and glad you’re still with us. Yes you absolutely deserve that calendar!

I decided not to go to work today I had a terrible headache all day yesterday and haven’t slept properly in a few nights. I decided I needed a day to properly relax and give myself some breathing space. DH and me went for a walk in the local park and really talked to each other. He’s not coping very well emotionally and is a bit in denial about starting. I’ve said to him that it’s not just us - lots of couples go through this, that it will all be worth it in the end and we will get through it together and that if we can survive this together then we can face anything! We also agreed that if the outcome is negative in December we will treat ourselves to a weekend away - possible Copenhagen which we’ve been eyeing up for years.

That's great news Jam! Ive been really wanting to go to Copenhagen too, it will be so amazing at Christmas!

Ah thank you ladies and this is why I love you all dearly. When I'm at my absolute lowest you just offer the loveliest of words and no judgement. Thank you thank you thank you.

I gave myself a really good talking to last night while cycling really fast at the gym (well as fast as a fatty can cycle 😂🙈) and made a pact with myself. I will stop worrying about the things I can't control, I will get there, I'll do everything I can to get there. I will lose the weight. I will cry and I will slog hard. I will be a mum. There's no ifs and no buts. This is happening and until it does, I'm giving all my fucks away to anyone who thinks I can't do it.

I have a Drs appointment for 23rd October. My mum made it for me since I mentioned about making one to get a referral for a work health benefit. I have no idea what the agenda should be yet but I'll get my head around what I'd like to sort out.

I'm thinking I should explain my situation (14 months TTC at that point) and about my cycles and ask about testing my progesterone levels and vitamin levels and getting a higher dose of folic acid too. I get free prescriptions still (a sad perk of an 8+ week loss) and so I think if I can get things I need I should. Anything else I should ask??

Thank you ladies. Xxxxx

Mud, I'm sorry you have painful periods, you've blown my theory out the water with also having short cycles. When in your cycle do you usually ovulate? DH just doesn't feel ready for testing, since we had a mmc in February he wanted to wait until then... I've not told him about the doc appointment yet. Hmmmmm.

Jam sometimes I wish I would take a mental health day just to recoup and rest and catch up on things. You are both going through a massive thing, so it's understandable you're both having wobbles emotionally. I hope you get to Copenhagen WITH your newborn in toe next year 😜

Lemony I think your blanket sounds lovely. I have a baby scrapbooking kit just sat there waiting. Fuck fate. X

Flash I have my fingers, toes and legs crossed for you. When is BFP due?? Xxx

Quiet did you go private for the tests? I'm wondering if these things will be available on the NHS or should I be looking for local clinics now for the new year to get us an MOT. X

Ooooooo hep waves.... treat yo'self! 😘

Just NHS, mouse - our GP surgery advises speaking to them at 6-9 months; I had to go for something else after c7 cycles so mentioned it and GP happened to be fairly proactive - said may as well do initial tests so know what's going on. Next cycle will be 12 but not quite 12 months; feels a bit early in any case so will leave it for now. Don't want consultant to think am a panicking Pamela (not a thing, I know) either, so better to be patient, I guess.

Hi ladies. Still here lurking but zero news so nothing to post about! Wondered if anyone's heard from alexia? Just wondered how she was getting along. I can't @ her as she hasn't been on this thread. Hope she's ok.

Survived my first sober October (and beyond) event last night as had a work event and the wine was flowing. Feeling fresh and a bit smug this morning.

Have convinced myself that a couple of my colleagues are pregnant so the next few months I'm going to be waiting for announcements! I've not had any baby bombs for ages but am dreading these while I am going through IVF to be fair. Or maybe I'm just being paranoid and have completely lost the plot - it wouldn't surprise me!

penguin great advice re just living your life. Had some terrible news about a friend recently that really made me think how precious life is - but it's still easy to forget sometimes!

So good you have some dates Jam and glad I have an IVF buddy - although I wish neither of us had to do it! Love your positive thinking as well. The fact that the process is so long is really hanging over me but I am trying to keep positive and take things one day at a time. I would love to go to Copenhagen. But I hope you don't get to go due to morning sickness!

mouse sorry about CD1. Hope you've had some chocolate and you're being kind to yourself.

I kicked off our tests a little bit early at 9 months by lying about when we started which has meant we've got to IVF a bit quicker but I guess that's not always an option. The tests can take ages so there is no harm in getting a jump start - but the GP was quite condescending to me when I first went (although I'm vindicated in a weird way now as I'm still not pregnant)

flash keeping everything crossed for you!

Yes mouse you are so strong 💪🏼 you have got this. Glad you’ve made an appointment.

How are you doing geeup? I haven’t heard from alexia in a while - hope she’s doing okay

Well done struggle 👍🏼 I’m doing Stoptober too and have had my dads and sisters birthdays this week - I’ve been saying no to a lot of nice alcohol!

We had our patient info evening at the hospital last night. It was pretty full on. Charts showing fertility falling off a cliff etc. Wish they wouldn’t do that. DH looked very pale. He really is not dealing with this whole thing well at all, poor guy. It’s so bloody tough isn’t it.

Repeat mantra - one day at a time... one day at a time...

Exactly - it can be so overwhelming I think take every day at a time and plan nice treats to help you get through.

I've just spent £90 (!!) on vitamins after reading it starts with the egg. We also need to make a decision today really about whether we want time lapse imaging - basically they don't disturb your embryos but film the constantly so they can also see which are the best ones to put back in. It's £700 but I think it can increase our chances - and I don't want you to feel I've not done everything. Anyone know anything about this?

Which ones did you get struggle? I spent £120 on some all in one fertility smart ones (his and hers 3 month supply) after my miscarriage. Hilariously one thing they have done so far is make me very regular in the poo department! 😂

Sorry no good news, Cd1 for me today ladies although started at 2pm so not sure if it's really CD1 tomorrow. FW will be during my holiday though so perfect opportunity for lots of sex!

Currently enjoying a sangria by a pool in seville. Can't remember who asked but conference in seville then holiday in a place called benahavis. Spa hotel! On my phone so will read through properly later. Hope everyone is ok.

flash but FW holiday !

I know i have been a bit AwAL lately but today had first appointment at fertility clinic.

Me and DH went.

It wasn't awful well not compleatly but I left feeling deflated and sad.

Seen by sister Asked the usual medical questions.

However she went on and on about my weight. I know I have to loose weight that's why I said I had joined slimming world ( which I have).

I felt like I had scupperef my chances of me and DH having a baby.

She then went on saying I needed another smear. Again I know I do but its not been top priority. She kept on at how I'm endangering my life for not going for one. I know I will book one after AF has been.

I need internal scans but due to the fact that I'm overweight as she said for the 5th time there is no rush on this really.

Sorry to harp on.

Ps am not over sure if it got to IVF I want to go down that route. It's all so daunting.

Oh bab it sounds like a hard-going session. Am not entirely sure why she felt she needed to go so overboard. I hate feeling nagged or patronised in medical appointments. And it seems totally normal to me that you find the idea of IVF daunting - it's a big thing to take on, sounds like others have taken some time to get their heads around it. Take care and keep going with SW or whatever works for you - you're doing all the right things xxx

flash so sorry about AF but hope you have a fun FW

Argh spotting on CD23 for me and think I have thrush (sorry, TMI). FML.

Urgh Babi that sounds horrible. It's one of the main reasons I haven't bothered to push things for investigations as I know I'm overweight and need to lose. May I ask did they mention BMI at all? I don't think I'll ever qualify for ivf if BMI is strictly under 30 😭 not that I've even thought that far ahead.

Flash, sorry for AF but good news about holiday BD, fx that's what you need for a BFP.

Talking of AFs.... mine is over and done with. I'll probably spot a tiny bit today but completely uneventful 😑

Think I may pounce and make my first acupuncture appointment.

They spoke briefly about time lapse at our info evening struggle, I got the impression it was something they do if IVF doesn’t work first or for a few times. It’s a lot of money and I didn’t give it a second thought but I can see why you would. Knowledge is power in this and really day 1 and day 2 in an embryos life right now they don’t know which ones will become the keepers.

Sorry flash hope you’re okay lovely, enjoy those sangrias

Oh bab that sounds really tough. You haven’t scuppered your chances, it may not be the easy conception you hoped for but it doesn’t mean it won’t happen. As far as I understand it what you eat is more important than exercise in weight loss - could you see a nutritionist to get some advice?

I woke up feeling calmer and more positive today than I have in a while. Not sure why, going to orchestra definitely helps. I’ve got acupuncture tonight too. Got a positive OPK Wednesday and we HS weds thurs and again this morning so feel like hopefully we’ve given our last cycle a fair go. Next month I’ll be fertile but not able to have unprotected sex which will be so weird after two years of going at it like rabbits!

Pyjamas I’m thinking of you and hope you’re okay xx

Happy Friday all. I’m feeling positive about acupuncture tonight, having an old friend to stay over tonight and going to a yoga brunch morning together tomorrow xx

lemon the day 21 progesterone test is to see if you have ovulated or not. I believe the level of progesterone should then be at a certain level to support a pregnancy if you were to conceive. So they probably look at it for that.

Re. AF and scans I wouldn't worry too much. They are very used to scanning women on their periods. They mentioned it at our clinic the other evening - the consultant said it can even be easier to see the ovaries when you are on your period. Not sure why.

Morning all, have been very busy at work and had no time to mumsnet but on holiday today for a week from today, like Flash it will be FW in sunny Spain. Will have to catch up with the thread now. I packed ovulation pee sticks but forgot my thermometer however been doing this long enough to just keep at it and HS a lot in between eating and a few cheeky drinks. I need to buy a book, left my holiday reading at home. We tend to do minimal phones on holiday, maybe I can stop reading so much TTC stuff for a few days...

Jam so weird how different it is at different clinics - ours are obviously really big believers in it. When we left I thought the same 'maybe for our second round' but husband thought it might be worth it. Now we're thinking the other way around and I just don't want to make a decision I might regret - it is all so difficult!

flash sorry it's CD1 but maybe some sangria will help?!

Kerry I have bought CoQ10 which is super expensive! and then some pregnacare ones which have loads of other stuff in. But I've just read that the l-arginine that is in them could be damaging rather than beneficial so I might have to return them. It's a bloody minefield!

As expected I have been baby bombed today! Had a bit of a cry and husband said ' you should be happy for her'. Which then makes me feel worse for being such a bad person!

Glad you're feeling a bit brighter today Jam. Sounds like you have a lovely, wholesome relaxing weekend ahead as well which is lovely.

This is going to be my first weekend in the new house without anything in the diary and no visitors coming... I can't wait! We had some gym equipment delivered yesterday so I plan on getting stuck into that and exploring the local countryside with DP.

Baguette (love the name btw!) have a fab time on holiday and don't worry too much about the OPKs. Hope the sun shines all week for you.

Sorry you had a rubbish appointment Babi, it sounds like they were pretty over the top. Like others have said though, just keep doing what you're doing.

Flash sorry this cycle was a dud but I think sangria and Spain are a lovely remedy. I'd love to go to Seville - I've always thought seeing a proper Flamenco show there would be amazing. Benahavis looks beautiful too!

Mouse your PMA is great stuff. Have you ever tried a Park Run btw? I thoroughly recommend them for anyone wanting to kick start their fitness, or just maintain a good exercise routine. They're so supportive and work for literally all ranges of fitness and ability.
I am going to try and take my own advice and seek out the nearest one to our new house tomorrow - if I can persuade DP to get up in time!

Sorry about the baby bomb Struggle and definitely don't feel bad about your reaction. You'd have to be made of stone not to be affected by it. And just because you're sad doesn't mean you're not happy for your friend; it's just that the negative emotion is the one that hits you first.

Hope everyone is having a good Friday and your weekends are happy and stress free x

Your husband is plain old WRONG struggle - you shouldnt be anything!

You feel how you feel and feeling bitter or angry rather than happy for other women who get pregnant easily is 100% normal.