Multiple failures, a place to chat

[Zippybear]

Anyone else out there with multiple failures wondering what to do next? We've just had our fourth embryo transfer fail. Issues on both sides. In the last year I've had two surgeries, dh has had one and we are still no further forward. We haven't had a holiday that wasn't time off for ivf since 2015. We feel battered and bruised and stuck on a hellish infertility rollercoaster that we can't get off unless we want to accept childlessness we have another nhs cycle but I'm not sure I can cope with it (or if there is any point). I don't know whether to give up, think of donor, adoption or just accept our lot. Anyone else wondering the same?

Glad you got checked out four. Miscarriage is such a crappy process. Hope you get back to normal soon.

Having a very lazy Saturday morning. Got up late, made French toast and now slowly getting ready to do something productive, although I have got back into bed after my shower so not going that well!

I just ate two mars bars, I don't even really like chocolate, I'm a cheese girl. Found a Mars Easter egg in cupboard. Ate bothnot even sorry.

Glad you're ok fourpaws. I hope I didn't imply you had to report back to us here, just was concerned that you were ok. Sorry you've had this to deal with on top of the miscarriage-it's totally rubbish.

I'm also a cheese and a non chocolate girl-there aren't many of us around so it's nice to "meet" a fellow one!

I'm also a cheese and a non chocolate girl-there aren't many of us around so it's nice to "meet" a fellow one!

Me too! I generally prefer savoury to sweet (crisps over sweets, nice bread over cake etc) but cheese is my ultimate favourite food.

fourpaws you've had a rotten time-eat as many mars bars as you like and go and buy yourself some cheese.

So sorry to hear this fourpaws hope you are feeling a little better now

Thanks all, ha fellow cheese fiends.

Well boat starter and main for me unless cheese board was a pudding then I might have that.

And earl not at all, thank you for your help. I just had wifi issues as always. Can be a nightmare round here. Ironically I was driving home and they said something about super fast wifi now being available. Seems to have missed me.

Ah, I'm in a sweet toothed minority! Although I do love savoury as well...all food in fact.

The idea that there would be an Easter egg in my cupboard uneaten more than a day or two after Easter is laughable! It would call out to me until i simply had to eat it...

Bigger I'd go for starter and main every time too.

tiger I'm sort of relieved there is a sweet tooth on here (although actually not really relieved and more sorry that any of us are here), as I did start to wonder whether there was some weird link between multiple failures and not having a sweet tooth.

Cheese and chocolate.. why not both?!
I'm on a health kick at the moment trying to lose some of the ivf bloat so both are verboten. I dream of them!
Having some more investigations soon, went to a new gynae who was so lovely to me, I needed someone vaguely sympathetic so it was good.
Glad you are feeling better Four although you are a chocolate light weight!

I am both and wish I wasn't!! However, I too have been on a major health kick lately post IVF failure #2 and have been eating seeds and nuts religiously on a daily basis and sweet Jesus, I am converted!! Started eating them for their supposedly magical fertility properties but I am now a convert!! Not sure about their ability to give me a baby but I have noticed a marked improvement in my overall health and i wouldn't say I have a bad diet ordinarily at all (but hella love the junk 😂). I am a nut/seed bore lately which I'll take over baby bore any day!

Not the most overjoyed here either. Quite envious of the clockwork baby production. Would be so happy with just one!

Yup I'd also be happy with just the one!
I have a sweet tooth apart from occasionally a few days before my period when I start craving salty things... and then convince myself its a sign and I must be up the duff .
In a previous conversation belly button piercing came up as something that can lead to infertility (in some woo way). Anyone out there not had their belly button pierced?!!

Yup, rolled my eyes at that news earlier. Agree, it's the perfect timing of it all! Did make me wonder how many people in high profile positions experience this, although I think I've mentioned before that I dont believe the '1 in 8' statistic is quite right (I think far far less people experience IF than this figure would suggest). I think it's why I admire Teresa May - politics aside - I thought she was very brave to share that she and her husband could not conceive despite her best efforts and that it still made her sad all these years on. I appreciated her honesty and I feel so bad for her that her childlessness is always raked up at every opportunity.

Anyhoo...off on a tangent....I don't have my belly button pierced! Don't start worrying about things like that, Zippy, it won't be because of that

Hope you are feeling a bit better fourpaws, sounds scary and you do not deserve more shit after all the other shit.

Sorry I've not been around for a while - we actually got a BFP after a fresh cycle in July - saw heartbeat at 7w but then no heartbeat last week at 9w1d (pretty much died the day after the 7w scan). Had ERPC today, so guess who read the news about Wills and Kate whilst lying in a hospital bed, waiting for the pessary to soften her cervix enough for surgery? To make matters worse, they had the radio on in the recovery room so I woke up to 'Today's top story - William and Kate....'. Reminded me of the last ERPC I had where I was waiting to go into surgery and 'Baby Love' by the Supremes came on (Baby love, my baby love, I miss you...). Also the fact that they have to announce early due to sickness makes me suspect she's probably got the same due date we had (should have been 10 weeks today) so that's great - another reminder of our abject failure, having failed to have any children in the same time they'll have 3. Oh, and just to top off the already crappy week, I had a car crash on Sunday which was totally my fault (I was having a meltdown about the mmc and then made a stupid move) so now my car will be in the garage for weeks. Noone hurt but I feel like a total idiot and it's really the last thing I needed right now. Really feeling that life has shit all over my DH and me, particularly this last year.

Sorry, epic 'me me me' post but I'm just pissed off at the unfairness of life at the moment.

I'm so so sorry tammy there are no words. Fuck this shit

Tammy I am so so sorry. It's beyond cruel and unfair. I wish there was more I could say. You have every right to be pissed off - the universe can just get to fuck.

The royal announcement is just great. Endless media coverage of the pregnancy to look forward to.

Awwww Tammy. I'm so so sorry. And I'm so sick of this fucking shit we are all going through. What the hell. It's so damn unfair. Massive hug for you.

Joining you all in the Kate and William misery, cried when I heard that. Also cried due to general work shit, feeling crap and being fed up with everyone I know being pregnant.

If I had one wish it would be to fix it for you all.

I'm so very very very sorry Tammy

There really aren't any words

It's so fucking cruel and so fucking unfair

You don't deserve this. None of us do.

Really hope you can be kind to yourself - we're all thinking of you

for four paws and Tammy.

So sorry for you both. I echo the sentiments above. Miscarriages are so hard, doubly so when it takes so hard to get there in the first place. ❤️