Multiple failures, a place to chat

[Zippybear]

Anyone else out there with multiple failures wondering what to do next? We've just had our fourth embryo transfer fail. Issues on both sides. In the last year I've had two surgeries, dh has had one and we are still no further forward. We haven't had a holiday that wasn't time off for ivf since 2015. We feel battered and bruised and stuck on a hellish infertility rollercoaster that we can't get off unless we want to accept childlessness we have another nhs cycle but I'm not sure I can cope with it (or if there is any point). I don't know whether to give up, think of donor, adoption or just accept our lot. Anyone else wondering the same?

banana you are a champion! Love the viagra story.

four imagine some poor person having the job of 'helper'! My DH was horrified by the ancient laminated porn collection and kept thinking about whose job it was to wipe it down and rearrange the magazines at the end of the day.

bigger loving the demand for mints - sounds like something I would do. I babble a lot when I'm semi conscious after a GA and then get a bit worried when the nurses start asking me about stuff that I'm sure I never mentioned! Wtf I'm saying is anyone's guess!

You have all made me laugh out loud!

These are brilliant! i forgot to take my pants off for a scan once and didn't bat an eyelid when she told me..

Oh BiggerBoat I dread to think what they hear. I remember coming round from ovarian drilling just knowing that I'd been chatting as the nurse was kind of "yes dear that's nice". Cringe. It's genuinely the only thing that's made me wince a bit throughout this whole process. Will happily strip off, do whatever but semi conscious talking is too much 😂

Hi all

Sorry I was away for a few days, lovely to see a flurry of messages! Tipsnothacks if I go to Lister I will let you know and share all I learn along the way.
Biggerboatneeded I have been trying to have a period of "normal life" after the last failed cycle so have packed my summer with lots of nice things which I don't get to do while on the hamster wheel of treatment. That may be why I am seeking a second opinion, I just don't want to regret anything and perhaps a fresh pair of eyes might help?

Just to echo fourpaws lovely story about her HSG- I had a similar experience after an IUD insertion. I literally staggered out the door of the GP practice and fell into a bush outside! And then started gagging, twas a lovely sight!

As regards embarrassing infertility stories I did once walk into a review appointment and start opening my trousers instinctively...either one day my treatment will work or I'll end on on a register!

tigerdog I've also had a dodgy rectal diclofenac suppository experience. We were in the waiting room post egg collection waiting to see the embryologist and suddenly I realised I needed to go to the loo with some urgency. Just about got there in time before the diclofenac pessary torpedoed out of me with an awful burning sensation.

I'm sure we've all also had bladder related near misses for ET

Advice was to arrive with a medium full bladder for embryo transfer, I obviously managed to overshoot medium-full and end up crosseyed

Second time ET was delayed and nurse let me go to the loo to stop me exploding, but gave me a cup and said I could only pee enough to quarter fill it and nothing more - and if I thought I wasn't going to be able to stop the flow once the flood gates were opened, best not to go at all

Even then when it came to ET all you could see on the ultrasound was my MASSIVE bladder, and while the nurse was jamming the ultrasound doodah right over my bladder, I was desperately trying not to piss on my consultant as he was trying to squirt a potential person into my uterus

I successfully managed to maintain bladder control - JUST

Hi BBN

Big hug. During a cycle the smallest thing sets me off so I completely understand how you feel. Are you going through a cycle now? Do you know what clinic your doctor has gone to?

A

Bigger that sounds so frustrating. I think it's probably the doctor I'm thinking of too, who is wonderful and told me he was leaving when I saw him last week - but Care will ensure you have continuity of care and that you get the best treatment regardless. All the important things - protocol, embryos etc are all unaffected by the change. Your chances are also unaffected. Nevertheless massive hugs because it is shit and you need to trust people when going through something so traumatic and difficult. This cycle has been so drawn out for you, I'm not surprised that this has thrown you. Hang in there though, you're doing every thing you can to give yourself the best chance.

So sorry bigger, totally understand how easy it is to end up going over the edge with any bad news. On the plus side I presume the old protocols have all been put in place by the old doctor and the new guy just has to follow? Massive virtual hug

Seriously don't worry, if your are as far as this then a change makes no difference! It's almost like we get superstitious at times.

I've just been baby bombed by one of my junior team members and feel so sad today. I just look at her and think it's been a walk in the park for her and four years later for me and still nothing...

Hi all, back now and feeling somewhat better after a horrific month where I truly went insane. So grateful that some breathing space has arrived.

BBN I felt EXACTLY the same when our NHS specialist left (going back a couple of years now). These people are so utterly powerful in our minds. ultimately they are the ones who will get us pregnant (note I am trying to be 'positive'. I have to be right now). Sorry to hear you aren't too fond of the new Doctor. Give him/her a chance, they could be better experienced in other aspects which may be helpful. I know how you feel though.

I genuinely think about you all quite regularly and wonder how you're doing, hoping that there will be some developments. This is honestly the only place I hope to see baby news. Truly.

Hello everyone, wondered if I could trouble you with a question. I don't say this lightly. I have my period, second since miscarriage in june. This is as bad as the last, and without wanting to be harsh pain wise as bad as the miscarriage. I'm passing massive amounts of blood and tissue. Could this be linked? I'm not even due a period, last one was three weeks ago. Anyone had anything simaler? Really don't feel well,

Hello fourpaws. Not wishing to panic you, but this sounds very worrying to me. It's difficult to advise over the internet or gauge how much blood you're losing, but from what you've written in your post, if you're passing massive amounts of blood and tissue and feeling unwell with it, I think you need to seek urgent medical attention tonight. Either through the out of hours GP, 111 or if you're losing massive amounts of blood then through A&E.

I hope you're ok and feel better soon, and although I may be wrong, based on what you've said in your post I really do think you need to seek urgent medical advice.

I'd second that, you might have retained products and/or infection. You need to see a doctor (a hospital one- obs and gynae)

Take care of yourself and hope you feel better soon, A x

Phone your local A&E, they'll tell you how to access that service locally. It might mean going to them or there may be different access arrangements.

I'd also agree that it sounds like a chance of retained products and worth getting checked if it is continuing. I did also have a heavy and sudden bleed three weeks after one of my ERPC that didn't feel like a period, more like the final evacuation of any residual pregnancy tissue but had no further complications after. It's really hard to know what's 'normal' so always worth getting checked. Thinking of you.

Hi fourpaws
I hope you're ok. Can you come back and update us just to let us know that you're ok if you don't want to post anything more. Thinking of you.

Thank you all for your help. I apologise for the delay, fairly rural and signal awful, think someone working on line.

I called epu as hospital an hour away and explained what was happening last night. Went over for a scan and she gave me painkillers and an antibiotic to be on the safe side. Scan looked ok she said. I was one of the weird people who took the first pill and then miscarried before the second so she thought it was maybe that there had been some retained tissue coming away itself.

I am back in Friday anyway for appointment with consultant so they are going to scan again then.

Feel much better today, normal period pain and some clots but nothing like yesterday.

Thank you all so much. How is everyone else today?