Multiple failures, a place to chat

[Zippybear]

Anyone else out there with multiple failures wondering what to do next? We've just had our fourth embryo transfer fail. Issues on both sides. In the last year I've had two surgeries, dh has had one and we are still no further forward. We haven't had a holiday that wasn't time off for ivf since 2015. We feel battered and bruised and stuck on a hellish infertility rollercoaster that we can't get off unless we want to accept childlessness we have another nhs cycle but I'm not sure I can cope with it (or if there is any point). I don't know whether to give up, think of donor, adoption or just accept our lot. Anyone else wondering the same?

Oh right tootsio I have obviously just not tried hard enough thanks for hay insight

@tootsio I think we discussed the pressure and challenges of a never give up approach a few posts back. Most of us are in quite a tough place where there are options but they aren't easy or the ones we hoped for. We've all been through a heck of a lot of medical treatment and need a space to start thinking about all the options, including a child free life. There's always someone who has had success with a particular clinic/treatment/supplement/standing on their head but this is specific to their circumstances and may not be at all relevant to someone else. What personally works for someone - donor eggs, treatment aboard etc night not be acceptable for someone else.

We're not here waiting for recommendations for the next miracle and I think we've been quite upfront about that. I wish you well but this may not be the right place to post.

I don't get that at all notips! Why would someone decide to bring a mate and their baby to a fertility clinic.

Well said Tdog

Three easy steps to (unsuccessfully) post your spam advertising your dodgy clinic or cure for infertility:

1. Make sure you resurrect a very old thread that hasn't had a post for years with your miracle cure/clinic/whatever. Do this in at least 3 threads - use the same message because everyone loves a recycler!
2. Use broken English so that it's hard to understand and resembles a Nigerian scam email (for extra authenticity make it look like you just used thesaurus.com without actually understanding the words you are using)
3. If you can't find an old enough thread to resurrect then just post on a popular thread, but never bother to look at what the thread is actually about, just put a non-sequitur and shoehorn your marketing into it. No-one will suspect a thing!

BiggerBoatNeeded
oh yes re BioTexCom. I've just been looking on the surrogacy threads before coming on here and most of the posts are obviously fake. They're written by someone who clearly doesn't speak English as their first language pretending to be considering surrogacy and asking for advise regarding clinics. Very quickly "another" poster (who also clearly doesn't have English as their first language) pops up suggesting BioTexCom and saying how great it is there and how they don't exploit vulnerable women.

FFS. If they come on here making fake posts to advertise they're likely as dodgy as fuck and I find it hard to believe they don't exploit the surrogates.

I've gone and reported half the posts in the surrogacy section to MNHQ because it's made me really cross (even though surrogacy is not actually one of the things I'm considering at the moment) and I think it's really unfair and unhelpful for genuine posters. I hope no one minds me asking this, but please can anyone else who has time in their hands do the same and ask MNHQ to start deleting and banning these adverts?

Bigger you don't sound like a paranoid weirdo or at least no more so than me who has filed a whole load of spam reports about these posts. In fact I'd positively encourage you to contact MNHQ about them because then they might do something about it.

Wow I can not believe someone would do that, and so badly! It's completely insane

Fair enough bigger I'm very glad for all on these boards that you spotted it!

bigger. Well they're just going to LOVE my last but one post then aren't they? Also glad you spotted it too, but understand why you wanted to withdraw it. I'm now going to have a google to see what you've found about their reaction to negative online posts!

Tammy you forgot step 4) which is post under 2 different usernames, firstly with a really random and odd post about needing a surrogate and asking for clinic recommendations and then secondly in response to this post telling everyone about the amazing clinic in the Ukraine/Kiev where you had treatment and how easy it was and how their English is perfect (even if it's rubbish in your post).

EarlGreyT - you are right, that's there new tactic - I've just pre-empted them on another thread (or two) here and reported all the posters but they've not actually posted about anything too dodgy yet, although you can tell they are building to something so don't know if Mumsnet will take it seriously. I guess one of the things about being a longterm resident of this board - you can spot a dodgy post, or series of posts a mile off.

Weirdly also I was idly googling last night and found a random post on another board, with a poster reportedly posting advice from THAT clinic and it was so wrong, so completely wrong on all counts (it was basically saying any spotting during the TWW should be red, otherwise it means something is wrong).

I should add I wasn't googling the name of the clinic or company, something else entirely. It seems their reach into the internet is insidious, and they are so very ill-informed.

What is going on on this board at the moment? Trolling infertility threads is pretty low.

Me too bigger. I'm on another reporting spree.

It's bloody awful. I naively though it was just another idiot who doesn't get it (there's no shortage of those!) but deliberately targeting the vulnerable is just sick.

It's really disgusting. They're all over here, the donor section and the surrogacy section. It's made me really angry.

Purple you're right, it's really low. Imagine if I started an AIBU with the title "AIBU to think trolling infertility threads is pretty low". I'm sure I'd be told something really sympathetic like I need to get a grip and that there are bigger things in the world to worry about, but I've amused myself thinking about what sort of answers I'd be likely to get. I imagine the responses would be even worse than those on the babies in infertility waiting rooms and the how to cope with being childless threads.

Another one about surrogacy at the moment...
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2984543-How-long-is-the-Surrogacy-procedure?msgid=70590760#70590760